"Intolerance to luv" a flop show and a missed oppurtunity.
We are social animals man,then how can a social event as important infact the most important " Marriage and decision regarding it be left only to children and not their parents?
" One should be identified by his name,his father's name in between and last name that of mother,surnames should be banned becoz they help one differentiate others."
Involve parents,protect interests and rights of parents on their children and see the change?
But why involve parents?
There was a add of community matrimonial where the parents see their girl child with someone out of the community and get worried and then comes in a gentle men promoting "community matrimonial .com"
This add clearly shows and supports what I am writing and why I am writing,becoz this add highlights what parents think in general and what I am going to write is there in the society in the minds of parents and it is not a thought but a fear.
The show "Navya " was launched on the same concept "kya parents sirf aashirvaad dene ke liye hai?
Hope aamir had concentrated on this but I wiould and this is what you will read below...
Why????????????? such a fear and how to address this fear????????????????
What are their problems and why do they oppose?
If it was so simple for everyone to understand what is right or wrong then no one would need law,constitution.
I am talking about majorities...
One such example was there on the tv the poor girl was pleading her family to forgive her and accept her...
Had law protected her identity and assured her parents her identity wud be protected then I am sure things wud have been different and quiet possible she wud have featured in the last segment where reunion was shown and not in the first segment where she clearly missed her family and friends...
Article has my views on rights of parents...which indirectly comprises the main part of the article,all i have written directly or indirectly is about how bad parents feel and why their rights should be protected.
Addressing the above issues below.
To the point:
Aamir's new show is definitely different,something only he could do and was much needed,I liked all the previous episodes but not the one aired last sunday which was based on "Love Marriages".
He spoke about what happens to "Lovers" but he did not even come close to analyzing why it happens to lovers,unlike his previous episodes and issues he not only showed what happens but also discussed why it happens, but he did not this time and that is why the show was a complete waste of time and disappointed me and many others.
It wasn't expected from Aamir Khan atleast.
But why he did not touch the reasons why it happens to lovers,becoz he knew the reasons are a sensitive matter and the reasons are
1) Religion
2) Caste
3) Constitution
Whether one believes or not the above three factors influence "Marriage" in a big,big manner...
and when it is love marriage then the impact is even bigger and far more intense...
Aamir may not have touched the reason why "Lovers are treated like that but I would in my article,becoz on television when anything is related to above three factors religion,caste and Law it is a sensitive matter and diplomacy is the best stand one can take and even Amir did the same and that as a big let down indeed by Mr Khan...now when everyone is talking about bringing change in the society then why hesitate to talk about the reasons and factors responsible for the mess in the society...
If he can talk about sex,child abuse then why not religion,caste and constitution and laws which influence marriage to such great extent.Talking about child abuse,same sex marriages,study of sex in early age to students,all this was considered taboo and people avoided these chats in open but now they are not,then why not talk openly about the three factors above...
Why??????????????? just becoz they are too sensitive...I want to ex[press and
Below is my take on "Love marriages" and why those killings happened and will continue to happen.
There are three facts I am going to discuss in this article
1) Inter religious marriages
2) Inter caste marriages
3) Constitution and Law.
To start with
"Marriage" is such an important and turning point in one's life that it not only affects the individuals who get married but also affects their parents ( naturally) brothers and sisters,then the relatives and at last the community one belongs to,marriages are taken as examples and influence one's behavior and his stance in the society...
Example: If inter religious or inter community marriage happens in one family of a community the other families of the same community start implementing restrictions specially on girl child which further affects the number of girl child in the society,their education and career.
Constitution:
It was said on the show that Indian constitution is influenced by British constitution and British constitution is influenced by their culture and beliefs,but amir made fun of the poor old guy who was trying to put forth his view,clearly aamir had a negative image and perception of the panch who were sitting there and he allotted minimum time to them and cut them in between...
The panch may be orthodox but what he was trying to say had some reason and weight which aamir either purposely or since he knew their views was against what he thought he ignored them clearly...well coming to the topic
When it comes to marriages then it is a social aspect of any community and majority of laws are influenced by culture...
Hence a Muslim is allowed to marry four times but the same is not applicable to others...
The present Law needs amendments and introduction of few new ones becoz
My first impression is under the name of freedom and children having right to choose their own life partner the basic rights and feelings of parents is ignored and not protected by Law.
Parents are left with nothing but watch their children do what ever they want and their role is literally sacrificed becoz Law favors only the children.
Its important that Law favors both parents and children in case of marriages at least.
This imbalance in particular is a major reason which has led to those incidents and this imbalance where the constitution favuring only the children under the name of freedom will only intensify the belief of those who kill lovers...
If parents are given protection and assurance by Law then the door opens for communication.
But what do parents fear when it comes to inter religious and inter caste marriages?
Identity of their child compromised and changed,this happens mostly in case of girl child...
Do we have law to protect this fear of parents?
Do we have any law which assures protection of identity of the marrying couple,specially the girl child even after marriage in case of inter religious marriages?
No...we dont...
In the time when we call our self modern and cultured,the human race is seeing inhumanity at its worst and all under the name of religion,atleast in most cases it is under the name of religion.
The idea of this article is to understand the mentality and view of people towards "inter religious love marriages" and here are few very common examples which you can try and evaluate your self.
A hindu father will never appreciate his daughter sporting a burkha and her name changed after marriage and so would a Muslim father wud never sport sindoor and chudaa in her hand...
So jumps in "religion" it influences and plays a major part in deciding whom you marry and if children dont think the same way
This is where " Honour" comes in and then a huge bulk of social issues...
There was a time and even now marrying outside the community is a big thing for example:
if a Punjabi boy marries a Maharashtrian or vice versa but within the so called " similar believers" ( Hindus) but different in many aspects ,it is not accepted by all but then it is not hated as much as one would do in case of inter religious marriages,it is a fact no one can deny...
Couples marrying within the Hindu and sub hindu communities or communities who do not call themselves hindus but are similar in many ways and beliefs,face objections but later the chances of them getting acceptance is fairly large compared to Inter religious marriages.
The same applies to other religions as well and if you feel it does not happen then look around you will change your mind.
Now people have started accepting marriages within different communities but same religious belief,even Amir Khan showed this in the last segment...where after a long time though but the Marwadi Marathi pair got accepted...
Now this did not happen over night,it took ages for this to happen and this happened only after community was educated and there was trust developed...
Following rules should be introduced...to pacify and improve role pf parents which would open doors for communication and at least cut of role of outsiders,relatives and saviors of society who under the name of "honor" kill lovers...
By law,nature and everything one can imagine,our parents have right over us and even when deciding whom we marry becoz it affects them as well,if we expect from them then even they have the right to expect from us
But the present set of laws regarding " Right to decide whom one marries" is only with children and this imbalance is creating mess in the society and problems for lovers.
1) It should be mandatory to take approval of both living parents ( of boy and girl) in case of marriage and in rare cases if they are not alive then government should approve with certain terms and conditions.
2) An independent body shud be made to keep a check on inter religious marriages which ensures there is no conversion and identity of the individuals is kept intact...
3) The idea of an individual has a right to choose his own religion is good but activities like "luv jihad" and other forceful conversions under the name of love and marriage has seriously hurt this thought where many raise questions over the true reasons of conversion,if it is by will or force or no other choice,specially in case of girls who marry a boy from other religion,hence an law shud be enforced where the identity will remain the same after marriage.
4) Children shud be given exposure to both religions and not one and this shud be taken care by enforcing law..
5) Respect and tolerance toward other religion shud not be kept merely as preaches and part of politicians speech but shud be practiced with law ensuring it...
6) By law use of surnames should be banned as it is the basic criteria of differentiation,instead of that mother's name should be last name and father's name in between.
7) "Live in relationships should be banned completely."
We as Indians are multi cultural country...its unlike west or other nations where the country has one dominant religion and culture..
The west is open to love marriages becoz it has one dominant culture and religion and it is "christianity" ...
Problems due to multi cultural society have already begun in france and UK...
Boss yahan channels mein inter religion love stories bata do toh show band karva dete hai..real life mein shaadi toh dur ki baat hai...
Count the number of shows showing inter religion love stories...hardly few
Becoz it leads to controversies and no one wants to hurt mass sentiments..
which means majority sentiments..so even the channels and makers of show are diplomatic and know what shud not be showed and why it shud not be showed...
To avoid killings,to avoid exploitation of both parents and lovers it is important to consider point of view of both..
Hence law shud be enforced to protect feelings of both parents and children and not just one...
To pacify and kill this habit and passion of killing lovers a set of law with rules protecting rights of both parents and children will rule out involvement of so called society and outsiders.
Inter religious marriages:
Is it so easy for parents incase of inter religious marriages to accept it?
My answer is no and it might never happen...
Politicians,moderates,social workers,media and those like aamir khan cannot expect change to come over night and incase of inter religious marriages it is hard to come untill and unless there is trust developed between followers of different religions and the assurance that identity of each religion will be respected and protected and this identity wud be kept far from superior inferior or any other kind of differentiation..
Going by human mentality this will be indeed the 8th wonder...if it happens...there might be examples but they are few...
Inter religion marriage means marrying a completely new culture which might be ok for the lovers but they cannot force their family members to accept it,how can anyone gaurantee that love marriages always happen out of pure love and not with other motive...one such motive is "love Jihad" and I hope u will atleast not deny this fact...
When majority even though with moderate views towards religion wont accept inter religion marriages then why promote and preach for it...
Even though we are in 2012 still the parents feel what if theri children bring some one who is not even from the same religion and marry...? ur thoughts on this Mr Khan,can u deny this tht is still prevelant and is a dominant tht?over here I am considering views of those who are not on social networking platforms and their acts prove hw much they hate inter religion marriages...
Interreligion marriages are the root cause of distrust among the religious communities and shud be banned and believe it or not it is one of the main reasons y parents avoid girl child,with fear of future circumstances when they look around whts happening in the society...
Girl childs freedon,education and working prospect is hampered by this one thought of inter religion marriage...atleast focus on these points which are there in the society and are major driving force in deciding the future of a girl child..
If law is introduced to protect this feeling and fear of parents then see the change...neither lovers will get killed atleast not at the rate it is now and girl child and their parents will have an entirely new and improved view...
Inter caste marriages:
Coming down to Intercaste marriages:
They shud be strongly recommended,Inter caste marriages...are lifeline for the religion and it is very important they are promoted...
As of now if it is scientifically proved that same gotra marriages result in weak and genetically poor children then,law shud be enforced against same gotra marriages..becoz genetically it is not gud and wud result in genetically weak children...wud accept scientific explanations and answers if any...to rectify my opinions...
I end with a fact tht,one wud accept inter caste of marriages within the various streams of hindu religion but do not hope inter religion marriages will be accepted so soon when there is a sense of distrust among the religions and when all the religions are striving for their own survival,if udont believe it then look at the blood shed around the world...and marriage and marriage thru love is a safe door where one can deny other religion and favour his own...atleast for now it seems so...
I strongly object killing and the those who do it should be hanged and there should be law enforced but there should be another law enforced.
unfortunately everyone is discussing about religion when it is only one of the points I have raised...
its not about u its about those who have problem...then y is everyone coming up with examples of inter religious marriages...
u wanna show how great u guys are?
if examples mattered then world wud have been a different place...
I remember a line from Schindler's list...the fmaous speilberg movie...
Its in human nature to "envy" and equality and thought of equality will never exists..
I am sorry it was in "enemy at the gates"
I am not supporting or opposing any stand...those who have no objections with inter religious marriages fine...that's good
But do not expect or hope or preach how noble it is as an idea...
Becoz for those who have issues and objections should also be respected...
Both the feelings should be respected and no one has right to claim they are modern or superior and others are orthodox...
If same gotra marriage is opposed,it is opposed for a reason which can be scientifically proved...
if inter religion marriages are opposed they are for a reason...no one is fool or orthodox to do it..
Like we have some responsibilities towards our society we also have responsibility towards our faith our religion which is our identity and most important the identity given by our parents...
All I have written is about preserving the identity by law and constitution becoz not every has the understanding to respect other person's identity his faith and his religion...
If u still feel religion doesnt matter then look around and give me the best other reason for the blood shed other than religion...
The fact is...respect the stand other's have and dont just preach how great you are by giving examples which are unique...
Accept the fact that other's have a different view which shud also be respected...
Understand the intensity of the feeling if parents have to kill their own children and for that u shud first understand what a child means to his or her parent...
Once u understand this u wud then try and understand how intense this feeling must be which motivates parents to kill their own child...
I have just highlighted what this feeling is all about,why parents feel like this and what motivates them..
Most important I have highlighted how we can stop this and we can only stop the blood shed if we improve rights of parents over their children through constitution..
Only then the matter will be between parents and children and outsiders can be ruled out...
Becoz if parents who have rights over their children do not have problems their child marrying someone from outside then it is none of anyone's bussiness for that matter neither relatives or others from the community to intervene..
Now in most cases the entire family,relatives and community gets involved and the matter which shud be ideally between parents and children then becomes a matter of family and community and the result mass killings under the name of honour...
I dont think if parents give a go ahead or approval it is anybody's choice or interest to intervene,becoz they wud know parents themselves have approved it...
I concentrated on increasing and protecting the rights of parents and those commenting are concentrating only on religion...
and sharing examples of their family when it matter least and infact is no where related...
why wud parents who themselves married someone they love wud have objections against someone whom their child likes...
My entire article was about those who have problem,why they have problem and how by amending law and protecting rights of parents we can curb pacify and lower the killings and objections by parents ...
It was never about those who dont have problem,why they dont have problem...
Simple article taken to some other way just becoz one idiot is responding continously and highlighting as if i am talking against inter religious marriages...
what wud examples of inter religious marriages do...
they wud do nothing becoz those who have problem dont even come to this forum ..to look at ur examples and learn from it...
If world was tht intelligent then we wud have seen a lot more peace than it is now...
For god sakes.concentrate on my suggestions to improve rights of parents and instead of religion which is only one of the factor and not the factor on which i wrote an article...
And for one and the last time please stop giving examples of who married whom and from where and which religion or country...
Concentrate on how we can highlight and stop those who have issues with so called "modern thoughts"
Tht's wht i have done ...
People are giving examples over here and believe everyone shud follow them becoz they are great and have done something special...
If one out of u wud have commented on my seven pointers suggesting change in law and protection of rights of parents i wud have appreciated that..
but every one over here is busy bombarding me over highlighting how religion plays a bigger role...
and people have not spared parents as well and labelled them as killers of lovers..
are there people and children so blind in love that they dont see any thing else done by their parents...and can only highlight how parents kill their children in love..
wud have appreciated if someone wrote about why parents kill their children in love...
anyways...no time wasting...
I hereby clarify that my article is not against any religion or community or faith,I have only highlighted what prevails in the society,what I have seen in past 28 years of my life...what parents feel when they hear about their child in love,what are their problems and how constitution favours only children and why there is a need to protect rights of parents...
If u dont understand this then fine , keeping posting about ur greatness and ur families too and get as many likes as u want..and offcourse contiue bombarding me for wrong reasons ...
Hope now u wud understand the feel of the article and read it again and understand what i have tried to convey..if any one replies with a change in view and proper understanding of what i tried to convey my job is done..
Good bye...and see you later on some other forum
well enough of the serious arguments and what i think and wht u all feel ...
Do read my other articles on India forum about your fav shows probably
Do read my other posts on India forum and the links are below
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/punar-vivah/2938103/punarvivah-season-2-episodes-now-in-fan-fictions
Offcourse,
"Intolerance to luv"is a poor & flop episode Amir and hope the next time you concentrate on the root causes of any issue like you did in your previous shows and episodes rather than be diplomatic and prove your point and expect the world to accept it immediately.
Change will come but not in one go,it will take time and dont push for things or preach it...
Thanks and Regards,
Vikrant Khatri.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
