Dissapointed in today's episode - Page 2

Originally posted by: mitzification

Vids ..you know why Komal went through all she did ..she was from a well off family educated beautiful ... becuase her parents ... the part of this society were afraid .. they were afraid that their 'cow' their cattle ...

what if

no one marries her

what will people say if they break a marraige before it happens

what will people say if she breaks marraige after it happens ...

so Komal lived like .. Im not good enough ..if i am single or divorcee and till it became a matter of actual life and death .. she choose to suffer !

Now lets not blame her ..she looked like she belonged to the upper crust of our society .. if this can happen to a delhi based educated girl , if her parents treated her this was (no blame to the parents as such) ... wht chance do other females in our largely illeterate and poor country have ?

We cant blame Komal cause we as a scoiety are so sick that we make it impossible for a woman to survive.

I totaly support your thought that mrraige is between two individuals .. but in none of the incidences it looked like between two individuals it looked like a trade agreement ,...where sometimes goods were seen on the actual day of the barter ...

but again dont blame the girl , blame the society where after so much education girl is traded off like that.

Sdly Aamir did not talk about the change in thinking that is needed in this case.

After this episode will we stop mentaly harrasing unmarried and divorced girls ??

Originally posted by: mitzification

I have just seen the episode and though it had its good points . I was quiet dissapointed in todays episode .. I have to sit an analyse what exactly went wrong ... but it left me high and dry .

The greates point about todays show was however that its about the marraige and not about that one day of the wedding . Great distinction . Our thinking stops at the D-day when we think of marraige ... ...

if you felt that somewher todays episode wasincomplete then please share your view. This is not ot criticise but as a feedback.

I think dowry problems arise because again women ar enot treated equal ..even a well educated professional girl is under pressure to make a marraige and also make it sucesful .. if you dont marry questions are raised and pressure builds up . It's like even that lecturar who could have easily stood on her feet choose to comit suicide cause she could neither go back to her parents and was scared of the society .. its like she had no option but to stay in the marriage.

In marraige a trade off is donr sauda not the marraige of two equal individuals who need each other to have a happy life .

Originally posted by: Chitrashi

1091 is Women's helpline number.

There are special police cells to look into these issues (Dowry and Domestic Violence). There is actually a lot being done on this issue and almost every town has some cell or the other where women can go to for redressal.

The episode on CSA demanded more action and information because people are mostly not aware of how often these issues occur. Dowry and bride-burning has been an issue that's received a lot of attention by social activists.

Originally posted by: Chitrashi

Mitzi - Like you said that a lot of issues arise out of gender inequality. But quite a bit out of lack of self confidence in women too.

In my opinion a lecturer who commits suicide because of harassment by in-laws has no business teaching in the first place coz she's only going to impart her warped world view to her students.

After 30 years of active social work, strong laws and awareness campaigns, if women are still choosing to live in hell in the name of marriage then the problem is with the women.

I'll give two instances from my personal knowledge - a cousin got married and immediately after that her husband started harassing her for dowry. She like a cow kept coming back to her mother's house and "borrowing" money on some pretext or the other. She even "borrowed" money from a few relatives.

The day her mother got to know of the true state of affairs, she brought the daughter home, sent a telegram to all her friends and family that if her Son in law was to approach them, no money should be given to him under any circumstance.

My aunt got my cousin divorced and got her to become independent.

Incident two - a young girl was getting married to a ISB graduate. The boy had an excellent job and a brilliant career planned. On the day of the marriage the boy's mother approached the girl's family demanding a flat and a car. The boy told the girl that unless his parents demands were not met he would not go through with the ceremony. The girl got off the podium where she was greeting guests and walked out of the function hall. By nightfall, they had the groom's family literally falling on their feet begging forgiveness, coz the girl had informed everyone on FB and the ISB alumni broadsheet about the boy's action.