Originally posted by: laxmi_s
Oh.....What a wonderful thread yaar Tanu..... mazaa aa gaya..... and thot provoking posts by all....👍🏼..... Tanu, Vish di..... loved your practical aspect.....Vish di.... loved that masculine thot.....🤣...just kidding..... i expected your analysis to be this way..... Di....😉
From Kashyap parivaar's POV:
Guyz.......let's talk about the woman "Panna" in particular who has seen the worse time in her childhood days by the way of separation of her mom and dad.....yet seen her Mom managing to hide her tears from others in the family and keeping her attitude positive by living life for others....All that Panna can contribute to this mother is satisfaction and happiness that her children r now happily settled and there is no question of HISTORY repeating itself......Ishwar's estrangement has left a scar in the marraige term for Shailaja and she is not able to overcome that fear..... She constantly monitors Panna's relationships with her inlaws, Suhana's neglection towards Ishaan all because of JUST this FEAR....!
Now if in a practical way....Panna just utters this truth to her family thinking of sharing her probs with them with a way to get into solutions......Alok might be able to help her out calmly.....But what about BM? Won't this be a big blow to her as she knows the family survives on Raunak's BIG JOB status and cannot survive a middle class manner......???😲 She is matured enuf to get quite disturbed about this issue and probably Panna knows this well in advance and prefers to keep her probs to herself just like the way BM does..........!
From Raunak's family POV:
Raunak and his ego will be shattered if she breaks his trust and tells it to her family....Raunak's mom is bitter-mouthed and sarcastically puts the kashyap parivaar low for every issue......we know how wud she react if Kashyap parivaar offers help...... but Raunak too falls in this category....he has been sweet enuf to them in his good times as he never has been conscious..... now he is conscious about his status and in his thinking any help offered by them wud add to his wound rather than heal his hurt.....!
Not to forget Panna is brought up by BM who has her principles in keeping her family image with all respects and Panna will never out of consciousness speak about her inlaws problems to her family......
A woman until marraige has to think only about her family...... but when she gets married..... she needs to think about 2 families..... Panna is such a woman who thinks about the issues from both the aspects........So i don't feel she is wrong in not revealing it to Kashyap parivaar..... She is a woman who thinks much before she acts.....
Laxmi, mere pyari behna, @ underline, practical + masculine = Men are practical, yaneki... women are not practical? 😳 This is gender profiling... what is the basis of your profiling?😉 Why do you think women can't be practical? Although our scriptures place goddesses and women on a high pedestal, hamare soch hamesha zaroorat se chota kyon padjaatha hai? God gave women emotions a natural asset not to make us weak and meek or get washed away in emotions, but to ONLY use it to make us stronger and better decision makers.
Now about both your POVs, I totally disagree with you. They are your assumptions. I think you are letting your imagination get ahead of you.. 😆😆😆 Arree... zara ghode ko lagam do aur apne kaboo mein karo...😆😆 And you may call it practical masculine way again...😆😆😆
@ red - don't you think BM "living for others" karthe karthe apni husband ki choti choti ichaon ko poora karna zaroorat nahi samjhi aur husband ka saat hi choot gaye?😳 Did she make her husband part of others? Something to think about and analyze.
@ red underline - Life doesn't come with any guarantees. But you certainly have warranty which is your attitude and practicality. It is ok for BM or Panna to not want the history to repeat. But it would be wrong to live in fear psychosis. One has to live life prudently and diligently and deal with problems as you face them.
Eshwar's estrangement? You are wrong! Thali kabhi ek haath se bajthi hai? BM was too busy pleasing the family and making herself a good bahu. It is just not enuf to be a good bahu. Before a woman becomes a good bahu, one should become a good wife. Laxmi, you did not get the subtle message that was sent thru BM-Suhana conversation when BM shows Suhana a blouse Eshwar has gifted to her and wished and requested her to wear several times but BM ne pehna zaroorat nahi samjhi coz she was shy. And also says Eshwar ne bahut koshish ki... She did not understand her husband's chahat. No other relationship other than man and wife is a physical relationship. So to have a spark in a marriage IS AN IMPORTANT ELEMENT. Spark gives physical proximity. Absence of spark and physical proximity in a marriage is a bemaan rishta. Both man and wife MUST work to keep the spark in marriage.
@ blue underline - You are wrong again. You don't share your problems w/loved ones necessarily for a solution. It reduces emotional stress and helps you focus on a problem in hand. In the process one may find solution which should be welcomed. Doing something with an expectation is wrong. Do the best you can and leave the results to god.
@ blue - Wrong again. That's an assumption. One cannot let the assumptions lead their life. Assumptions have to be validated with facts.
@ green - Wrong. You are comparing apples to oranges. Every problem is a stand-alone and unique. It may provide historic information but not a perfect solution. So are Panna and BMs problems. Panna's problem is not something that's a top secret that can't be shared with anybody. Whereas BMs problem is something more personal. Of course BM cant share w/family and her children why Eshwar left her, leaving them all to believe he estranged her. If you start looking thru a magnifying glass, everything seems huge and humongous.. and the big picture gets lost... that's why god has given us 20/20 vision yaar not 2000/20... 😆😆😆 let's look at it with a normal 20/20 vision 😆
@ green underline - You are so wrong again.
Isn't that what is exactly the need of the hour??? Shattering Raunak's inflated, bolstered ego??? 😳😳😳 What good is his ego doing to him and his family?
Can you change or stop people who are into the habit of bad-mouthing others for a reason or no reason? Panna's mil did it in the past, doing in the present and in all probability, may continue to do it in future... Panna sharing this khabar w/family or not has no bearing to her mil bad-mouthing her family.
Kashyap parivar will offer help to Raunak and his family is your assumption again. There is no validity to your assumptions. You are being pessimistic... why cant you say the glass is half full instead of saying the glass is half empty? He may be hurt in the beginning but will overcome soon...after all, time heals everything... and he needs some positive reinforcing... somebody has to knock sense into him.. make him see things the way they are...
Raunak's employment problem is HER problem NOT her in-laws problem. Iss mein BM's upbringing and il's family image kahase agaye? Tum hawa mein sethu math baando yaar...😆
@ blue - Thinking before acting is a good thing. But thinking right or practical is what helps you solve the problem.
Edited by vishmewell - 14 years ago
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