samud os:ADHURI SI EK DAASTAN(vm updated)

-bornalee- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1
holla gals😃
ok this time m coming wid an os,(m nervous🤔),this is my first ever os
m not at all a good writer,i suck big time wen it comes to literature,still i tried dil se,so mere bhul-chukh ko maaf kar diyo😃
M dedicating this os to all my buddies here in IF,speacially saru di & reshu my cute lil sis,thnx both of u for making my bday so special🤗
love u all🤗
ok my bak bak bandh do read n reviews are welcomed😳
ignore my grammar n spelling mistake😃
so here it goes...
play d song plzz.



ADHURI SI EK DAASTAN

Banno re Banno mere chale sasural ko

Aankhiyo mei paani de gayi

Duwa mein; meethi gurdhani le gayi!!!!!

The whole Desai family is busy with preparation. Everyone is very excited; their elder daughter, Kumud, is getting married to Pramad; one of d famous business tycoon of Gujrat. It's her "mehendi" today, and her badi ma is putting mehendi on her. Dugba can read her daughter's eyes. She manages a smile, comforting Kumud. She was the only witness of their LOVE but things did not turn out like they planned, may be this is god's wish, and maybe whatever happened was good for both her children.

Kumud looks at her palm, and a lonely tear make its way through her eyes. Few months back HE wrote his name on her palm and now she is forced to write someone else name whom she has not met yet. She has been faking all this time that she is very happy, she moved on'.but'.

''''''..

"Why you did this to me, why" kumud cries her eyes out lying down on her bed. Her heart still beats for HIM. But he does not seem to care .He just used her. He wanted to have her body not her soul, he just wanted to own her, once he got it he left her. That is what she thinks about him, she has consoled her mind saying that he betrayed her, but deep down her heart she knew Saras could not do anything like this, He truly loved her but then what happened; why their love left incomplete???

''''''..

Re Kabira maan ja,Re Fakira yun na ja

Aaja tujhko pukare tere parchayiaan

Re kabira maan ja,Re Fakira yun na ja

Kaise tuhe nirmohi kaisa harjayiaan'

In the busy street of dubai He is roaming aimlessly. Today HIS kumud is going to be someone's eles. He bangs his hand on the steering ,stooping near the lake, he comes every morning for Puja. "why god why?? why everytime u take all those people whom I love the most, why" saras cries. He tried to make everything like before but, he failed. And now he is far away from her, he wants to run to her hold her in his arm, and blow away all the pain he has given her all these months. He closes his eyes and her smiling face come up.A tear make its way down his cheek.

''''''''..

Toote char pai wohi thandi poorwai rashta dekheee

Dudho ki malai wohi meeti ki surahi raasta dekheee

"Kumud I can't wait more,I love u and I want to make u mine," Saras put the sacred vermilion on her parting. Amidst of all the hustle-bustle going downward; this two lovebirds finally vowed to be together for life time. Promised to share all their happiness and sorrows together.Saras lowers his head and seals her lips, finally they gave in and had become one soul.

"saras,saras.."sunny brings him back to reality. Saras's eyes fill with water remembering the best moment of his life.

"sunny I want to be alone,please leave me alone for sometime please"saras pleads.

"its ok"sunny sighs ,he can't see his two best friends like this but he is helpless.He leaves the place without saying anything further.

'''''''''..

Gudiya re gudiya tera gudda pardesiya

Jodi aasmani ho gayi shagun te, dekhun shadmani ho gayi hayeee

Kumud is sitting in front of the mirror in her bridal attire , Kumari-Kusum both are cracking jokes to make her smile.Kumud fakes a smile

"Kumud,dikra"Gunn comes in,"are you ready dikra" she asks.

Kumuds nods n manages a smile.

"Dikra,you are happy na?"

"Yes ma, I m happy, for me bapu's happiness comes first ,and if he is happy then I m happy too"kumud smiles at her mother

"I know dikra,we are very proud to have a daughter like you,one thing always remember ur ma baapu is always there for u whenever u need them,hmm"

"Let's go,your baarat has come"Gun takes her downward.

'''''''''''

Re Kabira maan ja,Re Fakira yun na ja

Aaja tujhko pukare teri parchahiyaan

Re Kabira maan ja.Re Fakira yun na jaa

Kaise tuhe nirmohi kaisa harjayiaan

Kumud looks at her reflection in the mirror, she touches her vermilion, and tears start rolling down her cheek. She opens her drawyer n takes out HIS half drawn picture .She hugs HIM for the last time.

" I m no longer yours, goodbye"

She fires the picture.

''''''''''.

Re kabira Re Kabira

Re fakira Re fakira

Sang tere hei sabera

Re fakira Re kabira'..

"Kumud,m sorry for all the pain I gave you,I love you and will always love you,no one can take your place in my life,though you are far away from me physically but for me you will be always mine,I LOVE YOU" Saras closes his eyes and hugs her picture tight.

'END'.

ps: finally..phew..ok..do comment,chappal,tomato everything is welcome😃n guys u all may get a vm on d above song also,our very own tabzy is working on it😃

ok guys here comes the vm

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LvJXM2sOyew [/YOUTUBE]

video credit goes to TABZ(Tabzy)..thnk u darling for such an wonderful vm😃

here is the link of tabz's thread

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/saraswatichandra/3593429/kabira-vm-sad

Edited by -bornalee- - 12 years ago

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Saru... thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#2
Tu e pehlibaar likha bonu. U wrote it like exp writer loved it .can feel the pain samud went through . Got tears in my eyes at the end. Hope it doesn't happen like this in the serial. Amazing piece. Pls continue writing ur truly amazing. Love u take care
Edited by Saru... - 12 years ago
Posted: 12 years ago
#3
ruk ruk bonu...tera OS hai na, khoob likhungi😆
res
unres
😭😭😭
OK, writeup quality bohot achhi thi, very well-written, r u really first timer??😲
Story ne rula diya...
Ok, tune uss pramad ke bachche ko bhi include kar diya😆
Touchwood, aisa na ho...I mean jaise tu likhi vaisa nahin...😆
But I luvd d OS...apt wid d title👍🏼👏👏
Edited by Tishana - 12 years ago
praxeto thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#4
res/unres
Omg!!dat was a wonderful os!!! 👏
This is ma first os or ny wrk dat i.am readin on SaMud!nd i just loved it to the core!!!
First of ol i wanna compliment "U" as u r one of d highly talented writer!!🤗
i was totally engrossed in readin dis os.i so so loved it!
nd in midle dose poems!!ahhh!! THEY WERE JUST PERFECT FR UR STRY!!! 😃
bt d ending made me feel bad fr kumud... 😭
nd her last hug to dt pic was so so so heart touchin di!!! 😳
bt poor saras..evn he felt fr her till nw bt destiny had planned smethng else.. 😭
sho sho sho.shaad!!!
bt chuck it as dey wer nthng in frnt of ur writing skills!!! 🥱

thanx a ton fr d pm..
nd do keep writin lyk dis nd keep on makin us spellbound wid ur wrks!!bt dnt frget to pm me di!!!
😊
Edited by PrOjeCtA - 12 years ago
-B.N.K- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#5


well written OS buddy ...

but dude Pramad 🤔 ...i told u na we wont let this happen ...bas

her pic and his pic tight ...the end ... why !!!! 😭😭 ..
Edited by -B.N.K- - 12 years ago
-bornalee- thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: Tishana

ruk ruk bonu...tera OS hai na, khoob likhungi😆

res

yeah itna accha nahi hei..m teri tarah intelligent nahi hun re😆
Posted: 12 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: -bornalee-

yeah itna accha nahi hei..m teri tarah intelligent nahi hun re😆

bornu🤔
luv u re🤗
-bornalee- thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: -B.N.K-



well written OS buddy ...

but dude Pramad 🤔 ...i told u na we wont let this happen ...bas

her pic and his pic tight ...the end ... why !!!! 😭😭 ..

pramad to aayega,we cant deny this toni,the actual story of SC starts after kumud marriage,toh yeh toh hona hi hei😭😭
-solitary- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#9
Unres-

Buddy, really can't beleive you wrote an OS for the first time !! 😲
Your OS made me cry like anything bonu !! 😭
You depicted their feelings, love, hurt, pain so beautifully !!👍🏼
Short n sweet !! 😳
Loved it loads bonu !! 🤗
Please please keep writing ! 😳
I would love to read ur's !! 😳
My deep respect !! 😳
Love you bonu !! 🤗

P.s: very sorry for this late reply !!
I was busy with b'day preparations dear !!
Edited by arshi4evr16 - 12 years ago
Posted: 12 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: -bornalee-

pramad to aayega,we cant deny this toni,the actual story of SC starts after kumud marriage,toh yeh toh hona hi hei😭😭

SLB hs changed it, he sed in sum IV...

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