She was now at crossroads. She had realized that Anmol was making a huge effort to remain passive. She had seen his ways. She was slowly beginning to thaw and becoming more aware of him as a woman. Suddenly guilt rose to her throat... Why had Ranvir insisted that she marry him? why why why .. But Ragini had listened to the call in her dying husband's wish and she had married Anmol. It was a marriage of convenience. He was kind to her and her daughter. He had won over almost everyone with his subtle efforts and invisible hand. He was trying hard to somehow reach out to her but she still did not find it in her to reciprocate.
She sighed and turned to look out of the window. It was late at night and the stars were out in the sky. She could get the sweet fragrance of the nocturnal flowers. She inhaled deeply. She tried to make her decision. Should she or shouldn't let doors of her heart open? Should she allow him into her life and into her heart?
When she felt she should try to forge links with him, she remembered all the beautiful moments she spent with her late husband. She sorely missed her first love. A tear slipped out of her eye. Yet why did her mind tell her it was time to move on?
Whenever she was cold to him, she felt small. Her coldness had dissipated and she was looking at Anmol differently. Or at least she was trying to. She was a simple girl. She knew what it was like to be loved. She knew Ranvir to be a decent young man who showed what love was all about. Her dark looks never crept between them. He loved her for herself. That was the reason why she genuinely loved him.
But the equation between her and Anmol was also undergoing a change. He was kind and understanding despite knowing how indifferent she was to him as a man. He had given his word to his friend that he would take care of his family no matter what. That was exactly what he was going to do. He would always regret that Ranvir died trying to save him. That was such a great sacrifice and he would always carry the burden of that cross. He himself had no family and had adopted this one as his own. Tammy had only known him as dad and he had become son of the household , but Vasu.He understood a mother's plight,her love for her lost son,yet it hurt him deeply when Vasu made Ragini feel small for marrying him,as if she was implying Ragini was doing something wrong. She was suspicious of him, she could never see his heart.Somehow warmth of his heart could not warm a mother's mourning heart.He could not offer consolation there.How it made him feel like he failed.
But he would shield this new family and take the blows himself. He realized that Ragini felt attraction for him for he had often seen her looking at him in confusion but scrutinizing him. He was well dressed, polished and educated. In comparison, she was just a simple girl. But he recognized the stirrings in her eyes. Weren't they both very good at cloaking their feelings?
Anmol entered the room and saw her shadowy figure at the window. He just needed to see her once more before turning in for the night. He needed her. He wanted her in his life in the true sense. He needed her forgiveness. Unless she did that, he would never be able to forgive himself either. She was the only reason he had discarded his earlier life. He wanted to be happy, and he desperately wanted to keep her happy. He couldn't undo what had happened before. He would have exchanged places with Ranvir on the mountainside. But it was not to be that way. He had to suffer the trauma of being left to live like a prisoner while Ranvir died a martyr. He was not at fault. But he knew all fingers would point to him. Bauji understood him and believed him. But would the rest of them? Expecting her to love him was a tall order. But if their love was strong, then she may forgive him.
Ragini was thinking of recent turn of events..she was thinking of her insecurities about being a good mother.She remembered how in her grief she had turned to him,how he had softly placed his hand on her shoulder and how she had turned to see him standing there,eyes full of concern yet a caution as it was first time ever he took this liberty.Only one more time she remembered he had made her dance with him for sake of her daughter.Apart from that all their touches were unconsciously done.Her grief and his concern just mixed together and she just grabbed that chest he had offered to cry on.He held her sweetly silently and promising.Suddenly a sound came in her mind... a blast from few days ago....You Are very beautiful...Anmol's slip of tongue,his coverup....and her own uninhibited and natural response. Her heart had sang for a moment after hearing his words.Her heart was telling her he was falling for her...but the tight door locked her own heart and today it was threatening to break......
She turned away from the window and saw him silently watching her. He saw her turn. He swallowed the painful lump in his throat. There were tears in her eyes. there was a question....what are we both doing.Can we live for each other too......he saw that and looked down. There were tears in his heart. There was remorse in his eyes and the entreaty to be accepted. There was trepidation in her eyes and the need to erase all doubts. She wanted to come out of hole of her misery. He wondered if there would really be any salvation for him. this life of constant regret was silently taking toll on him
They looked silently at each other, both wondering .........
hope you enjoyed it friends please leave comments...
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