I faced the same like bhoomi!!

I had a love marriage. I am a non gujju and married a gujju. His family especially his mother and daadi also pressured me in a similar way after my engagement to their son..I was from the same country as my husband just not from the same community.

I was given so many things to learn the list is below:

• learn the language Gujarati - seriously all the family members kept talking to me in gujarathi language and did not bother to translate it, they said its me who wants to join the family so i should learn their language! for so many months i used to just stare at them dumstruck! as i never understood what they said..
  
• I am not from a brahmin family but a kshatriya, so i was made to lie in front of their relatives that i am brahmin (giving up non vegetarian food was a prerequisite of course)
• Learn gujarathi cooking
• learn their religion and their mantras
• wear clothes as per their tastes ...no one should think i am wearing non gujju type clothes!
• even my language and customs were openly mocked and laughed at by the daadi in front of my face.
• on top of it they kept saying that a bahu is nothing,everything belongs to the daughter of the family (which included even space in the wardrobe to keep my clothes)!
• to top it all after my marriage they did not do the ritual when the new bride put the feet in kum kum thali n walks, as they said their family and religion does not have such rituals which i at that time I believed but when it was their daughter's marriage they made her walk on the kum kum before she left the house in bidaai!

So double standards happen everywhere, just that in tv serials they show it in more dramatic way..

so when i saw the treatment given by ansu baa to bhoomi i felt ..hey its my story..but just in a more dramatic form..😆

Now things are better as we moved out their house as my husband transferred his job to another country...

ohhh so sad dear

hey thanks for understanding 😊 whenever i see bhoomi mujhe meri newly married life yaad aati hai...😆 the only thing is i do not fit the definition of the so called 'sanskaari' bahu😉 as i carried on this pressure to my maximum and then retaliated for this injustice...as i realised that husband can help you to only to certain limits ..later on you have to speak up for urself..which I do...all the tym now 😊

but it indeed spoiled the newly married life and romance that every girl dreams of..as we slept in the sitting room on mattresses on the floor and instead of romantic breakfast in the bed with husband...we had to wake up to open the door for doodhwala and kachrawala😆

Hats off to ur hubby...i want Jay to be like that

yes prabha..i am very proud of my hubby and moving away was the best solution to this. As both sides had their own mindsets which even if tried cant be changed...

in fact i like bhooomi's mummy better than ansu baa...

also i feel jay should speak up more confidently..and support bhoomi rather than make her stay and suffer in the house..

i really liked jay's mom at least she spoke her mind out in front of ansu baa..whereas jay's father is spineless..

Thanks for sharing your story and I am glad things are better for you now😊...

Originally posted by: Ash_Storyteller

yes prabha..i am very proud of my hubby and moving away was the best solution to this. As both sides had their own mindsets which even if tried cant be changed...

in fact i like bhooomi's mummy better than ansu baa...

also i feel jay should speak up more confidently..and support bhoomi rather than make her stay and suffer in the house..

i really liked jay's mom at least she spoke her mind out in front of ansu baa..whereas jay's father is spineless..

May i know ur name pls...from which place ur?

I don't think so it only happens in gujju families. The people who does it are not open minded. They brought up differently. I don't blame them. It is all about how your family works. I am gujju. My parents did love marriage. My mom was from different culture but as far as I know my mom didn't had much a problem. My mom taught me to follow anything that I want to. My parents never push me to believe in something that I don't want to. My rest of family is open minded. I think in India there is always problem when a girl gets married and goes to another family cuz obvi. you will have problem adjusting in new environment.

Thts so sad to hear that u were presurrized so much ...
Hats off to ur hubby and to u too that u tolerated all that with great patience and very true still Double starndards prevail in Indian society ...

Omg! I cn't believe dis happens in real?but d gd news is u moved out their house.best wishes to u.