It's a new Dawn, A new Beginning..
I remember the day when I killed her and ended the evil era in the world. To an extent the day still seems to linger around me like a ball of nightmare and still sadness overwhelms me. I had to take such stand which cost me dearly. Yes evil ended but then what? I was arrested. At that moment, I felt alone again, felt as if I'd been thrown back into a nightmare.
For me from then on, passing each moment of the day seemed like years. I wanted out but there no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get out.I felt lost at ease. Fifteen years the judges had said, how I'm I going to spend that long in here? I had a lot of thoughts going in my head at that point, didn't anyone try to rescue me?? What happened? But then would I have been free? I don't know..Who knows..
For a few forth night I cried, I wanted to scream and get out, I wanted the nightmare to be over, but then who was I kidding? It wouldn't be over so soon and this was the nightmare I'd dread all along which can become true. This was the beginning of my long sentence. I had to get a grip on myself. But it was not easy and the aching pain in my heart of being away, hurt me even more. I wanted to go back, go home but I knew I couldn't But slowly got by somehow.😭
During my stay in prison, I made friends with some inmates, slowly I begun to get grasp of the whole situation and day. It was not going to be easy I knew but I had to be strong, strong for my family, my kids and my husband. Their faces kept me going throughout my sentence. Day by day yet times were hard, counting the days, years, months it was not easy.
But now ten years on, it is now time for me to step into the light again, to the joys of the world. My sentence has been reduced and now I cannot wait to go home. My solitude has finally come to an end. I cannot wait to see my kids, oh how must they look I wonder? My eyes have been yearning to see them, to spend each moment I missed with them and cherish it all.
After signing the documents and doing the aarti and bidding good bye to the inmates, I head out of the gates and step foot into the light. It's when I notice something that catches my eyes, I see two girls getting arrested, they look like the age my daughters would be. I for a second wonder how their parents would feel, wonder how bad they would feel, kids these days getting into all sorts of mess. Anyway, Now the time has come to head home. As I get dropped to the bus stand, I wait for my bus to Rajkot; I can already the air, the rich soil of it...I can smell home. I am excited and overwhelmed with joy, my solitude ends and now it's time to enter the tunnel of happiness, return back to my family. I wonder if they missed me like I did.
It seemed as I entered my home, nothing had changed, it felt as if time had suddenly taken me back 10 years again. It seemed like time had frozen again. I was elated to see everyone finally after all these years. The happiness and contentment I felt after seeing them, I cannot truly express it, the happiness I felt is beyond describe-able.
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With time, things had gone way worse than I could have ever imagined. The family of mine whom once used to share a strong bond no longer now remain a family, everything has been scattered apart.
Ahem my husband left the home with the kids, broke all ties with my mother in law, my mother in law herself is in a I'd say bad situation...There has been a lot that has gone wrong in the last ten years. I am back now yet I find myself questioning how could this happen? How did all this occur? Why did this happen? And I find out, it is linked with the incident that happened ten years ago.
This decision and with one swift has changed the entire life of my family. Due to a decision I so drastically made, my husband seems to have broken ties with his own mother, the woman whom he cherished for years, and now he does no longer want to keep in touch with her and it was all because of me. Ten years earlier, I had done a deed of ending evil with my very own hands, by that I mean I took the law in my own hands. I agree it was wrong of me to do so but I was completely blinded by anger and rage and something in me told I had to end this evil wrath.
But now that I look back I somehow find myself regretting the decision I made. Due to me my husband left, broke ties with his mother as I've mentioned, and left with the kids...He must have been heart broken. All he had ever desired what to spend the rest of our life together yet I ruined it. As of my mother in law, well she lost her own son whom she had shared a strong bond...😭
To an extent I know I was not the one to "cause" the whole trouble but still partially I too am the one to blame as I was so engrossed in household matters.
But now that I am back, I will rectify my mistake and pledge that no matter what I shall not give in. I've already caused enough pain, now it's enough. I will now do what is best for me and my own family. I have made mistakes, especially when it has come to judging some people and the decisions sometimes I've taken has been costly...but now I won't give in, but will be a woman of strength. Putting things back I know won't be easy, I will fail in the beginnings but still I cannot give up not now.
Do share your perspective and suggestions.😃
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
