Ahem's frustration at not being able to talk to Gopi is mounting, and I am sure whatever he does next there is one thing he will not do and that is get angry at Gopi for the way she is being with him. For one Ahem has realized that this time in his anger he crossed all limits and hurt her where it would hurt the most. He would want to make her listen, I don't know how he will do it, but I am sure the moment will be private just between the two of them. Whatever he says to her will boost her confidence to stand up for her rights as his wife.
This is my hope and wish.
Special thanks to Harini and Swasthi, for encouraging me to write this OS and for giving me the ideas as what Ahem might say to boost Gopi's confidence.
Title credit goes to Swasthi.
OS: Wanting Her Only
Ahem stared after his wife as she walked away from him while he was still talking. Why Gopi? Why are you doing this to me? I don't think I will be able to take your silence anymore. I know your hurting and I am only trying to say I am sorry for hurting you, but you won't even talk to me. Ahem gave one last pleading glance to her back and walked out of the house.
All day long he kept going around and around and tried to make sense of Gopi's behavior. Why is it so different this time? In the past she had always forgiven him but this time she would hardly look at him. Ahem don't you think you are being unfair to Gopi? Ahem frowned was he being unfair?
He thought back to why Gopi is hurt and realized that his sin this time is much bigger than any other time. He had wounded her where it would hurt her the most. And it was over a minor thing, the fault was completely his for not realizing that Gopi was not used to parties and she had never met any of his friends before the night of the party. In his excitement to show her off he forgot that Gopi's shyness would make it hard for her to mingle with the strangers.
He realized that he expected her to forgive him with simple "I am sorry about last night and not to take my words to heart." He hadn't even said the words face to face but instead chose to text it to her. He had the chance to say sorry but he spent the time he had with her talking about Anita, and by the time he looked up she had already walked out the door and didn't even turn when he called out to her. On top of that he piled on the hurt by sitting in his room trying to boost Anita's morals when he should have been looking for his wife and apologizing to her. Then later again she chose to walk away when she saw him with Anita. Of course it would have hurt her to see him with Anita followed by the words he threw at her in anger.
He knew that he had made the mistake and he also knew that he could not go on like this. Simple fact is he cannot stand Gopi's silence and his day is just not complete without seeing her sparkling smile. Today he was going to talk to her one way or another. He didn't care if she didn't talk to him but he is going to make her listen to him. He picked up his phone to call Jigar.
When Jigar greeted him with hello Ahem did not hesitate. "Jigar I am not feeling well so I am going home early handle anything that needs immediate attention yourself." He hung up the phone, put his laptop in the bag and left the office. He wanted to make a stop on the way home.
When he reached home he was not surprised to see Meethi open the door. His mouth firmed when he realized that once again Gopi was probably hiding. To his surprise all the ladies were in the main hall. His mom greeted him first.
"Ahem why are you home so early?" His mom asked with concern evident in her voice.
"Mom I have a headache and I want to rest for a while, can you please make sure that no one disturbs me." He didn't have to fake the pain on his face.
He didn't glance at anyone else and went straight up the stairs to his room. He felt tingling on the back of his neck and knew that his plan had to work, one way or another he is going to apologize to Gopi for his behavior. He just hoped Anita didn't decide to come check on him.
Gopi watched as her Ahemji walked up the stairs. She knew he was angry at her behavior; she should have made Rashiben take her promise back. Gopi did not like to see the hurt on her Ahemji's face at her avoidance, and now he is angry too. She gave her Rashiben a pleading glance but she would not budge just shook her head and went back to listening to maji and kakiji talk about dinner preparations.
Gopi had lost all interest in everything. She saw Anitaben glance towards the stairs and knew that soon she will make excuse to go up to disturb Ahemji. Gopi firmed her mouth and elbowed her Rashiben and signaled her to look towards Anitaben.
Rashi sighed when she saw the worry on Gopi's face, but knew she was going to have to let Gopi go to check on Ahemjiju or chipku Anita will beat Gopi upstairs. Rashi could see Anita was looking for a way to escape up to her room. "Kakiji it's been half hour don't you think Gopi should go check on Ahemjiju?"
Koki looked at Rashi then at her Gopi vahu who had a worried expression on her face as she glanced between the stairs and Anita and realized what Rashi was trying to do. "Gopi vahu go check on Ahem and make sure he doesn't need anything and if he is resting don't disturb him."
Gopi was relieved and nodded her head at her maji. "Ji maji." She left quickly to finally check with her own eyes that her Ahemji was not suffering too much.
Ahem lay on the sofa and listened for the sound of his wife's payals. He was just about to give up when he heard the door open quietly. He stayed still and waited to make sure it was Gopi and not someone else. He heard the door close and the lock engage and he smiled inwardly. He counted her footsteps and when he estimated that she was in the middle of the room he sprang up from the couch and stood in front of her.
Gopi gasped and froze when her Ahemji got up suddenly to stand in front of her with a distance of only few feet between them. She swallowed the lump that formed in her mouth when she saw him staring at her with intent. When he took a step forward she took a step back automatically. Gopi's mind traveled back to the time long back when he had moved towards her just like this, but in anger. This time it wasn't anger but she couldn't read the emotions in his eyes either. She took a step back for everyone step he took forward until her back hit the door. She couldn't look away from his face as he placed both of his hands beside her head, one on each side, neatly trapping her in place.
Ahem's intention was not to scare her but just to get her attention. "Now you can't go or run anywhere until you hear what I have to say." He kept his voice gentle to sooth her fear. When he saw her relax slightly he moved back a little so she wouldn't feel trapped by him.
"Gopi please hear me out, I know you don't want to talk to me but please at least listen to me." He waited to see if she would give him a chance to talk. When he saw her relax even more he took a deep breath.
"Gopi I am sorry for what I said to you, I spoke in anger and wanted to hurt you because I felt hurt. I know sorry is not enough for what I said but please know that I did not mean what I said." Ahem made sure he looked into her eyes to show her that he was being sincere and honest in his apology.
"Gopi punish me anyway you want but please not silently. Don't you know I can't stand it when you don't smile? My day is much better when you give me your smile before I go to office. No one knows me like you; you know exactly how I like my tea, or which set of clothes I would prefer on any given day. You know me from inside out and when you don't take care of my needs I just don't' feel right." Ahem moved away from her because he knew he was sounding stupid and in his frustration he was making it worse instead of better. How do I tell you what I feel when you don't talk to me or when you don't smile like you do everyday? How do I make you understand how much I need you?
Ahem took a deep breath and turned back to Gopi. "Gopi how do I make you understand that without you my day is incomplete that I feel lost with out you? I know that I have done this to you in the past, yelled at you in anger, then say sorry and you forgive me all the time, but this time I crossed all limits in my anger and that is unforgivable sin, but please just give me a chance to repent for what I did."
Gopi wanted to run to her Ahemji and tell him to stop but her promise to Rashiben would not let her take the step towards him and tell him that he is forgiven. She knew she has hurt him by continuing to ignore his pleas.
"Gopi I know I have said this in the past but I am saying it again. I am happy with my life the way it is and I am happy that you are my wife. I have left my past behind long time ago. All I want now is for Anita to get better and for mom to find her a nice man to marry so we can go back to living our live like before, the way I told you on the day of puja." Ahem said with determination. He knew he needed to let go of his guilt over the past because in his guilt Gopi was the one who was getting hurt the most.
Ahem couldn't hold himself back anymore and went to Gopi to hug her. "Please forgive me Gopi. I know this time I crossed all limits in my anger but please just give me a chance to make it up to you."
After a moment Ahem pulled back and looked down at Gopi. He couldn't resist lifting his hand to caress her soft cheek. He wanted to feel her soft skin just one time. He moved her away from the door and just before opening the door he glanced at her one more time. "I left something for you on the bed." He then opened the door to their room and walked out.
Gopi blinked, her Ahemji hugged her again, he caressed her cheek with his hand and she could not do anything because of her promise to her Rashiben. She slowly made her way to the bed and saw a giftwrapped box on the bed. She picked up the box and read what was written on top. "I am sorry Gopi, please forgive me."
Gopi's hands were shaking when she started to open the box; she finally had it opened and was pleasantly surprised to see a blue sari in the box, her favorite color; same exact color as the color of his shirt that she gifted him on his birthday.
Gopi sat down on the bed and hugged the sari to her chest. Ahemji just gave her all the reasons to stand up for her rights as his wife. So what if he didn't tell her he loves her. His apology, all the things he said to her and this gift told her that he may have been forced to marry her but now he wants to stay married to her, the least she could do was stand up for their relationship. Other people may feel she is not right for him but today he just told her in his own way that she is the right choice for him. She decided to ask Rashiben to free her from the promise so she could show her Ahemji that she has forgiven him by wearing his gift the very next day.
*~+~*
I don't know if Ahem will gift her anything again this was just something I threw in as a hope and wish. I do feel that with Koki's full support and Ahem intentionally or intentionally saying something to Gopi will boost her confidence.Hope you enjoyed the OS.
Thank you in advance.
