Ahem and love: wanting more of her

swasthi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1
Ahem's anger and frustration stemmed from only one thing - he wanted to show his wife to all his friends as he is so in love with her, while Gopi was concerned for her maaji.

He wanted to introduce her to his friends and share anecdotes about each of them. He wanted to hear opinion and thoughts and watch her interaction with them, especially his friend who invited them. He built great hopes and could have played out in his mind during the day of how her reaction and interaction would be, but it wasn't so.

His venting of his anger was one of love for her, just the same way he had shown to Jigar. When Jigar did not go home on time Ahem and Gopi went looking for him. Gopi remembered the conversation she had and told Ahem that he could be at the mandir. When Ahem found him sitting alone there he shown his anger in his words but his heart reflected his love and concern for his brother. Here too, whilst he verbalised his thoughts in anger his heart was calling out to her for her to be his wife for him.

Whilst he bulleted his thoughts his aggravation escalated, only to realise that she was not there any more to listen to him. His look transformed and reflected what his mind had just realised that he had done more harm than good.

Is it ok to want more from Gopi than what Ahem is getting? Also, as she is there for everyone in his family why cannot she be there for him too?

One thing to note in Ahem and love:
* a spectacular performance from Nazim to note

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SIP1997 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
Res.
Fantastic analysis Swasthi.
Agree with you completely. AHem was so excited to show her off, and when she gave the reason that she also wanted to meet his friends for changing her mind, he was the happiest at that moment.
Only thing is in his excitement he forgot the true nature of his wife. He forgot that his wife is naturally shy, and has never even met his friends before. It was fine for him to expect her to be excited as him, but he does need to realize that Gopi is made differently from other girls.
Yes his frustration was very justified, and his anger is legendary. He let his temper get the better of him and ended up hurting her in this anger. Had he been cooler he might have been able to get his point across calmly and she in turn would have voiced her own fears to reassure him that she did want to be with him and go to the party with him.
Is it okay to want more from his wife? Yes most definitely okay, but he has not said this in words, he shows that he cares and wants to be with her only, but he hasn't communicated his wants and needs more clearly. He assumed she would understand, but he also needs to understand that Gopi needs to be told what exactly he wants from her.
Can she not be there for him? To this I would say that she is there for him more than anyone else, but that is to make his day go smoothly. His wanting her in more ways than just a dutiful wife, again he has not voiced this yet.
Once he was calm, he realized this also, but things are already muddled enough, but now his anger and Gopi's tears are being taken advantage of by the third person and it will take more than just "Sorry" to bring her back to the comfort level they have achieved with each other.
The biggest problem in this relationship is lack of communication between husband and wife, and once this is realized things will become more clear and they will be able to voice their wants, needs and fears to each other.
Once this bridge is crossed nothing will separate them again.
Agree, Nazim was at his best today.
Edited by sbp1971 - 13 years ago
Rejoiced.ritika thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
Whatever swasthi write it is aways remains excellent, so, again, i have no word for u.
FlowerHater thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
actually Nazim was fantabulous today!!! awesome analysis swasthi!!!
Aish3003 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: swasthi



Is it ok to want more from Gopi than what Ahem is getting? Also, as she is there for everyone in his family why cannot she be there for him too?

One thing to note in Ahem and love:
* a spectacular performance from Nazim to note


Yes, he has every right to demand her attention... If only he hadn't screwed up the ending... the rant was so dreamy...

he told her to go and take care of everyone as they are more important... He was angry because he wanted her to himself... for one evening and she didn't give it to him. Again Idiot Gopi. As Rashi was shown to say to herself "How do I explain to Gopi, that she is being a fool" well..

If only, he hadn't said the last two sentences, it would have been perfect. Honestly... even after the second last sentence I had hope but then he ruined it.

And yes, Nazim was fab today.
doc4ever thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6
Wonderful take on the episode today Swasthi...👏⭐️
Your comparison between the two scenarios of him showing his anger towards his loved ones was very well described...reflects his comfort level with each of them that he is able to behave like this with them...it was justified in both cases...one for the worry of his brother...and the other for his wife not giving him enough time and attention...today was definitely a beginning of Ahem starting to communicate his feelings towards Gopi...just a PoV...😳

His comparison between Anita and Gopi was arguably not the best thing he did...then again, Anita played her game very well today...she cornered him...one thing will give Ahem credit for and that he did not entertain Anita's sorrows too much, he left her after telling her to control herself...

Gopi, arguably, again, did not do the best thing either by not giving attention to her husband...agreed she was hesitating as she was insecure whether she would be able to fit in or not at the party, but considering she and Ahem have also become really close friends in their marriage...shouldn't she have voiced her fears to him and told him how she was feeling?
Again, it's just a PoV...😊
The lack of communication is what led to this misunderstanding...😕

Koshi's planning hereafter is going to aid Gopi in helping her keep a balance between her family and her husband and also teach Ahem how life without Gopi would be like...A very clever game being played here...😉

Yes, Nazim's acting was fantastic today...👏

@Shilpa: Beautifully interpreted too! ⭐️
Edited by doc4ever - 13 years ago
swasthi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: sbp1971

Res.

Fantastic analysis Swasthi.
Agree with you completely. AHem was so excited to show her off, and when she gave the reason that she also wanted to meet his friends for changing her mind, he was the happiest at that moment.
Only thing is in his excitement he forgot the true nature of his wife. He forgot that his wife is naturally shy, and has never even met his friends before. It was fine for him to expect her to be excited as him, but he does need to realize that Gopi is made differently from other girls.
Yes his frustration was very justified, and his anger is legendary. He let his temper get the better of him and ended up hurting her in this anger. Had he been cooler he might have been able to get his point across calmly and she in turn would have voiced her own fears to reassure him that she did want to be with him and go to the party with him.
Is it okay to want more from his wife? Yes most definitely okay, but he has not said this in words, he shows that he cares and wants to be with her only, but he hasn't communicated his wants and needs more clearly. He assumed she would understand, but he also needs to understand that Gopi needs to be told what exactly he wants from her.
Can she not be there for him? To this I would say that she is there for him more than anyone else, but that is to make his day go smoothly. His wanting her in more ways than just a dutiful wife, again he has not voiced this yet.
Once he was calm, he realized this also, but things are already muddled enough, but now his anger and Gopi's tears are being taken advantage of by the third person and it will take more than just "Sorry" to bring her back to the comfort level they have achieved with each other.
The biggest problem in this relationship is lack of communication between husband and wife, and once this is realized things will become more clear and they will be able to voice their wants, needs and fears to each other.
Once this bridge is crossed nothing will separate them again.
Agree, Nazim was at his best today.


You are welcome Shilpa.

You have raised superb points too.

For sure, a simple sorry will not do any more. Ahem will have to climb a mountain to reach Gopi from now on as the third person has caused much damage. Her distancing away from him is going to make him eat his words. His arousal that he had for her when he complimented her will very hard to regain. Just how much he will have to alter, adjust and realign himself, we will have to wait and watch.
swasthi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: abbay

actually Nazim was fantabulous today!!! awesome analysis swasthi!!!


My pleasure Ankita.


varshu27 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9
fabulous analysis swasthi...today was an example of what gohem lack as a couple...communication...if they had talked to each other and let the other know their fears and needs...none of this would have happened...and anitha would not have been able to do anything...hopefully this will be a lesson learnt for both ahem and gopi in the future...
-neela- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10
Excellent analysis Swasthi ⭐️ 👏 And Shilpaben, great reply ⭐️ 👏
You both have outlined to a perfect T what Ahem and Gopi both are feeling and needing. They just need to communicate with each other not just through their eyes but by voicing them as well...

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