The True meaning of Friendship

With the upcoming Hetal-Koki clash, it opened a line of thought on friendship.

Hetal and Kokila have been friends for 30 years or more.. Or have they?

It all starts with the question.. Why is Rashi finding it so easy to manipulate Hetal. I know the answer would most probably be that she is gullible. But my question is different.
Hetal may not find out that Rashi is manipulating her but then why would she believe that the woman who she considers more of a sister than a Jethani is now trying to upstage her or is being too partial to her family and son?
We have seen Hetal tell Gopi first and Rashi that she considers Kokila a sister. She herself has said that Koki may be hard on the outside but her intentions are never wrong.. So even in this Kalaakari, Koki is behaving the way that she always has. So what is different now that Hetal is taking it the wrong way.

I think Koki is a better friend because a friend is not somebody who keeps telling you that you are right when you are wrong. But it is somebody who tells you things even if they are harsh because they care. Koki in her straight forward way does just that. She has stayed by Hetal through thick and thin and has pointed her mistakes to her in her way.

So if till now Hetal was ok with all this what changes suddenly. I think it is not just Rashi. I may be wrong. But the basis of their friendship seems to be more of Hetal tolerating Koki's quirks because she did not want to be burdened with say household decisions. She is soft and hence it was easier for her to give in rather than pay close heed to her household activities. Koki would take care of it to perfection, Hetal knows and hence she was not worried.
But now with a third person fanning the flames, is Hetal's buried insecurities coming out? Did she already have a feeling of being under Koki and is Rashi's wprds just bringing that long buried feeling to the fore?
The reason I ask is, In true friendship

1. You do not mistrust the person's intentions. Your friend may be wrong but you trust that they did not have the intention of harming you when they do something.
2. You do not disregard a relation of 30 years for small things. In all these years there would have been numerous times when the opinion was not always the same between Hetal and Koki so what changes it now?
3. You will be open and tell your friend what you feel instead of fuming inside yourself.
Hetal is doing none of these. So has she ever truly considered Kokila as a friend and a sister? I am beginning to doubt..
(Well what can I say, Hetal was the same person who did not mind the broken relation of a childhood friend and her daughter..😭)
Let me know what you think..

Hi Harin

Well what can I say, Hetal was the same person who did not mind the broken relation of a childhood friend and her daughter..

Originally posted by: shruts18

Well what can I say, Hetal was the same person who did not mind the broken relation of a childhood friend and her daughter..

This point really stands out!

I feel Hetal is more concerned for the outsiders view of the kalakaaris and judgement. She's never emotionally attached with the family to that extent I guess. For always be happy attitude is like that only. You are not emotional and considerate enough! Koki on the other hand seems to be harsh but from inside her heart aches for everyone's wellbeing and security. But hetal is always javadena types and she would not look deep into the things. Superficial pros and cons just matter to her but not why and how. Koki felt bad for Hetal's action and hurt but Hetal didn't have single pint of sympathy of remorse!

I would actually prefer Koki as my friend any day 😛.. There are times when you need a proper advice and guidance and Java Dena is simply not the answer.. And I agree Shruts..
Her face showed that she really did feel for the mistake today but it did not take long for her to completely change track and think that Koki was not as forgiving as her.. I cannot understand why😕
She knew she was wrong and according her herself, she knows Koki.. So all Koki actually told her was that she should have clarified just once.. Why the sudden switching of sympathy?

Originally posted by: Justlikethat1

I would actually prefer Koki as my friend any day 😛.. There are times when you need a proper advice and guidance and Java Dena is simply not the answer.. And I agree Shruts..
Her face showed that she really did feel for the mistake today but it did not take long for her to completely change track and think that Koki was not as forgiving as her.. I cannot understand why😕
She knew she was wrong and according her herself, she knows Koki.. So all Koki actually told her was that she should have clarified just once.. Why the sudden switching of sympathy?

harini, usually a friendship this long is strong. because if one is a bully the other would have learnt to tolerate and be soft.
my best friend and me are together for nearly 25 yrs. she is someone who is a mix of koki and gopi. i have learnt to handle her, same way she knows me in and out.
hetal and koki's realtionship goes above that. they had lived in the same house for nearly 30 yrs.
what i said earlier is true, rashi is pointing out that hetal has more power than koki.
but the whole stuff is only in the cv's hand. they can change anything just for the sake of trp's. all i want is the next ME not to be based on the family split.

Originally posted by: shruthi2010

harini, usually a friendship this long is strong. because if one is a bully the other would have learnt to tolerate and be soft.
my best friend and me are together for nearly 25 yrs. she is someone who is a mix of koki and gopi. i have learnt to handle her, same way she knows me in and out.
hetal and koki's realtionship goes above that. they had lived in the same house for nearly 30 yrs.
what i said earlier is true, rashi is pointing out that hetal has more power than koki.
but the whole stuff is only in the cv's hand. they can change anything just for the sake of trp's. all i want is the next ME not to be based on the family split.

😆 A very practical take on it Shruthi.. I have wonderful friends too who are a mixed lot.. And the beauty is we may be angry with them and it does not break the friendship.. Because in friendship you trust.. You can fight because you have the right and you can also apologize without being frightened that the apology will be rejected.. 😛

I feel like I've seen two different emotions, yesterday she was feeling guilty that she was the cause of this mess, from the minute the pundit arrived her wanting to apologise to Koki and afraid what would happen and her admission to Chirag that it was her fault, during the competition she felt that the guests were laughing and just wanted the shameful event to be over, then what came later was worse as they had to pay more money to the pundit she called and the other pundit has insulted Kokila and the Modi household by saying don't invite me to do any puja for you again as I'm shamed today by you paying him more, as I'm the preferred punditji. So next time they will be stuck with the expensive rate card punditji of Hetal's. But extremely strange was Hetal reaction to Kokila telling her off, she seemed hurt that Koki would speak so to her in front of Gopi and Rashi, perhaps Koki should have asked to speak to Hetal alone in Koki's room, as Parag is not home, and discuss the matter, then she would have got to the root cause, that Rashi suggested she ring the punditji, then Koki would at least understand Hetal is being led by her nose.

Agree Harini...it takes 2 people to be friends & to become gr8 friends it has to more than your ego to forgo one another's mistakes...at the same time it takes lot of courage to talk out things which are irritating you by the other friend...

wonderful post harini...something for all of us to ponder about...not just in relation to sns but in our daily life too...i dont know if hetal buried her insecurities and if it is now coming to the forefront...it just seems that she has stopped thinking...one minute she thought koki was right and feeling bad...but a speech from raashi and she kind of starts beleiving raashi...i think its hetals basic makeup...letting other people decide for u and u just go along with the flow...for me personally a friend is someone who tells u the truth no matter how bitter...