OS:Khamoshi-part 1::New Year Gift Special-2

shaina.sharma thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1
Hi guys...New year special-2 the gohem os...

Warning: This part is not over...and the story is not much too...so dont keep hopes high please

Note: Ahems Inner Feelings Are italic...K


Khamosi

Story:
THe story is about ahem who is carving for gopi attention and is proceeding in his relation in bullet speed

and gopi who is still unware of ahem changed feelings and is still struck at her place...


"Do u want something...?"

"Ji..no...woh...i wil ask maaji"

"what can she do..which i cant!!"

"K...take ur medicines at time and if needed...call me k"

"Ji...u dont worry...i wil tell meethi ben"

"this girl wil never learn..."

"K i am going..now "

"Ji"

"why cant she ask me to stay for one day.."

"If needed press the buzzer"

"Ji"

"dint she learn anything except those two letters"

"If u are bored, then u can chat with some one..understand"

"ji..rashiben..comes"

"this rashi..is my offical enemy now"

"i wil call in the lunch time!"

"Ji..no pbm...maaji wi give me the lunch at time"

"No one can save this girl!!"

"Ahem dikra..still here, arent u going to office?"

"will i die.if i stayed one day at home!!"

"no mom..i was just leaving...jai shri krishna." "Jai shri krishna"

One look at his dumb wife and ahem stormed away in anger thinking "I hate my life!!"


It was all due to that disaster incident...

His mom caught him massaging her leg and gave a indirect warning to both of them

"stay away from gopi" to him and "dont forget he is ur husband" to gopi.

and it was since then gopi started to avoid him like plaugue...

always..eitheir kakji, or maaji or her ever green fav rashiben wil help her...anyone...except him...

was massaging her leg was such a crime that they heard him a life sentence punishment. "Damn..everything went to drain..!!"

He was the one who said the doc that he wil take care of her, he was the one who was responsible to bring her back..he was her husband

but since she landed their was nothing of importance to him at all. Breakfast by mom..lunch by kaki..and dinner by rashi...even rashi can help her but he cant.

why...because he was the husband..then he should have the right too...if he was the husband then where was his right...did he left it out..or did they snatched it away.

Like the way they snatched the cel phone gifted to her.

"Ahem dikra..if u keep on calling her then...how wil she rest...i wil give gopi vahu this phone during lunch time to get remainded for medicines after that i wil take it back after her lunch understand"

"what...No...No way...mom why cant u understand..i brought it to chat with her...i want to chat with her..I want to speak with her...why cant u get it.."he mentally shouted but

"Yes mom" was the reply...

The only pbm is he cant say no to his mom and she cant say no to anyone...and his silence is making them apart...dangerously apart.



"Gopi...i am going to the doc...do u need anything?"

"Please dont say maaji again...i wont even see u are fractured."

"ji...why ...doc?"

"Finally except a ji and maaji..i got something new"

"for regular check up..do u need to tell something to the doc"

"Ji"

"what?"

"when wil i get better ahemji..."

"is she making plans to get rid of me"

"i wil ask that..."

"Ahemji..."

"what?"

"THank u..."gopi smiled

"she smiled..she smiled...she smiled at me."

Ahem gave a nod...and went away.



"whats the use..to keep a doc who is a friend for help..when ur own family is hell bent at u to make u stay away from ur wife."

"Hey ahem..how are u..how is bhabhi.."

"Always hatching plans thinking how to make husband dissapear"

"fine thanks a lot yaar. for helping me.."

"hey we are buddies right"

"well how is gopi condition right now"

"well good news..bhabhi is totally fine now"

"do u call that a good news "

"Really...well...i think their still time for the plasters right "

"Oh no,,,infact i was going to call u...i wil come today nd remove them..and bhabhi wil be back to normal in one day"

"definetly must have seen my own face when i got up"

"Thanks a lot...well..good news...really"

"I know!!"

"U dont"

Ahem got up deciding to give up all his stupid plans...and to go back to his routine and praying every day to give one chance for some privacy with gopi when a idea flashed his brain.

"yaar..can u do me a favour"

"of course..anything what?"

"Tender!!"



"Out of station...why?" Koki asked suprised.

"Mom...work...u know jigar had to leave but with gopi condition he dint...so i have to go now.."

"Bhai i am really sorry, if u want i wil go now..."

"Some one make him dissapear please..."

"Its k jigar, i alread arranged the meeting and told everyone i was coming so...dont worry" "Ji bhai"

"saved..."

"Ahem dikra..when are u going..." "today evening mom..." "saaru..go and tell gopi vahu too" "Ji"

"I am going out of town"ahem declared and gopi face fell immediately.

"She is missing me...she is missing me ...."

"Ji..woh...when wil u come back..." "what?" "ji...nothing..woh...are u going alone?"

"is she thinking i am having an affair..i barely handle one..what wil i do with two!!"

"of course i wil go alone..what do u think..." "Ji nothing..."

"why cant she open her mouth and say she wil miss me..stubborn kahiki"

"woh..when are u leaving..." "Evening..." "Ji.."

"Dint even said happy journey to me...silent kahiki"



The door bell rang...and koki opened it...

"Ahem dikra...the doc came to visit gopi vahu...i thought u went to him for the reports."

"Why does she always catches every tiny point"

"Ji mom..woh...i wanted to have gopi a check up before leaving incase something is needed."

"Dikra..why do u worry...we are their for gopi vahu..."

"Mom..that is my worry"

"Mrs. Modi how are u feeling" doc asked. "Ji fine.." "But i dont see u are looking fine. U seem to be a lot in stress mrs.modi..are u upset about anything"

Gopi glanced at ahem breifly and gave her constant reply "Nothing!" "Are u feeling bored sitting here" "Little"

"Come to the point idiot..."

"How are u feeling in the morning mrs.modi.." "Ji..fine" "After the walk" "Ji dizzy" "k" "How are u feeling in the evening" "fine" "Do u feel alone and brooding over the day" "Ji sometimes...docji...how much time wil it get to be recovered." "soon mrs.modi..dont worry take care"

"Mr. modi..i want to talk to u." "Ji"

All left out leaving gopi anxious.

"Mr.modi..i think mrs.modi is feeling lonely in the room" "But doc..we all keep gopi vahu company everyday" koki said. "No, i dont mean that mrs.modi...gopiji is feeling gloom sitting in the room, in gopiji case...both the body and the brain should overcome the incident.

"we are curing the body but...we are doing nothing for the brain..." "I dont understand" koki said. "Mr.modi..u tell me how does mrs.modi behave in the morning"

"annoyingly silent and irritating"

"Hmmm...wel fine..i mean..be herself...like silent and calm" "and in the evening" "Well..same " "dont u see any change in the behaviour" "well..she seems more energetic in the evening." "does she sleep well" "No..she have pbms to sleep at night"

"see that proves...that gopiji is tired of the routine behaviour going on around...in the morning she remains calm because she knows what to expect of the day. Medicine and sleep and a little company...but in the evening she is feeling happy and excited because she knows that she wil get a company to herself."

"Due to boredom...she sleeps all the day and at night sshe lacks sleep, this is not good for health mr. modi...our body follows a regular habit and if it is tampered constantly then the result wil go reservese...Now i undestand why the result are showing such slow progress in mrs.modi case...she needs some company constantly to prove she is the same routine of ur life than a waste piece of material"

"Do u mean doc..that gopi vahu..needs company"koki asked.

"Fine...from tomorrow..we or motabhabhi wil stay with her constantly"

"Diasaster..doc..i am going to kill u..get ready" "wait wait "doc inner voice...

"Kakiji" rashi said excited..."i wil stay with gopi from tomorrow every minute...waise bhi..ahemjiju..is going today...i will shift to her room"

"these people are hopeless cases..."

"Really mr.modi..are u going out?"

"Like u dont know.."

"Yes..doc..i am going on a meeting on office work" "well thats fab...mr.modi i suggest u take mrs.modi with u, it wil be good for health."

"doctor...u should be a actor!!"

"Gopi..with me..in this condition..but doc" "She is really able to walk mr.modi..all we have to do is to remove the plaster, she wont have trouble then, i am not suggesting that she is normal now...but suggesting that to make her complete healthy u should take her out for the change of atmosphere. where are u going?"

"Not far doc..just nearby place" "Then its totally fine...mrs.modi wont have stress about the journey too."

"But doc..how can gopi vahu go...and waise bhi...ahem is going on office work..he wont keep her company" Koki said.

"How much more i have to lie"

"Kokila..i think if doc is suggesting that new atmosphere is good for gopi..then maybe we should send her, and ahems work is for one day...he can keep gopi company for some more day their, i am sure he wil take care of her."

"Kaki...i am really debted to u thanks"

"But mota bhabhi.." "Kokila..all we want is our gopi get recovered soon, and moroever she too might be feeling bored sitting in that room, now a days she remains so silent..its not good, we cant keep her company all day with our work...and morever even if gopi dont mind but we too know that what enjoyment wil she get with our company...if she stays in this home..instead of thinking to reast all she wil think is about the work in the house."

"Yes mrs.hetal modi..u are right, patient should have a calm mind around themselves but not to worry or be stressed out...so i think its better if mrs.modi have a atmosphere change now"

"Rashi..go and pack gopis clothes"ahem said and rashi nodded excited and ran away.

"For the first time her excitment to win over the family is making me some good"

"but ahem!"koki started. "Mom dont worry, i wil take care of gopi..and wil keep u informed..so doc..i wil bring gopi to the clinic " "Yes do that..Jai shri krishna" (How did i do?")

"Jai shri krishna"ahem said (excellent)


"Rashiben..why are u taking my clothes out.." "Arrey,..u are going out with ahemjiju gopi..with him" "What..but why..and what about his work...is maaji coming?"

"This girl wil ruin my plans"

"Yes ahem dikra..i wil come with u too, in this way u wont get disturbed and gopi vahu wil have the change in the atmosphere"

"and i wil be roaming on the streets."

"no mom...the atmosohere is very cold out their and i dont want to get urself troubled." "whats the trouble in it ahem"

"Kokila..if ahem is ssaying that it wont suit u then i think u should drop the matter tooo" chirag said.

"Thanks kaka!!" "Anytime my son"

"Kakiji..everything is ready now" "thanks rashi, mom dont worry i wil manage"ahem said and went inside his room.

"gopi u are coming with me..come lets go" "But." but before gopi could protest nd come up with a more damaging idea..ahem lifted her, and put her in the car and rode away.



"Ahemji...where are we going?" "Not far...dont worry" "why are u taking me?" "The doc said that u need change of atmosphere" "Why dint maaji came?"

"so that u can concentrate on me more than my mother"

"Mom is busy..why are u asking so many questions" "Ji..nothing..i was just thinking" "what?" "Nothing"

Gopi dropped her head and flexed her fingers. It felt so good to be free from the plaster..if only she was at home..she would be in the kitchen making everyone favourite...but some part of the heart was glad that he was taking her. Afterall what a wife would want more than to spend time with her husband.

Gopi was so glad that ahem finally took some time for her,...though sad that its in the name of work..atleast he willed to take her, and dint object like the previous time. A part was guilty for only thinking about herself...leaving his work and her family members attention.

"Kanaji..please...protect my family in my absence!!" she prayed closing her eyes.

"Is she really tired or she is sleeping out of boredom. should i talk or left her asleep, what to do."ahem thought glancing at her.

"should i talk to him...but what if he gets discrated...and what if he dont like talking while driving"gopi thought.

The journey continued in silence until ahem got really frustrated with the silence even with the absence of his family members.

"Er gopi...gopi" "Ji"gopi snapped her eyes immediately.

"Thank god she is awake..then was she avoiding me"

"Shall i play songs..or radio" "Ji no need" "why dont u like music" "No its not..well..maybe..i mean..woh.."

"when wil she complete"

"woh...i was thinking that u will find it disturbance"

"Now how can i say that i love listening to music while driving..."

"No pbm..."ahem said and started the music player. Gopi glanced sadly at him "he always gets adjusted for me..how considerate of him"

"Why cant she just say what she like or what she want to do...why she always keeps so silent"ahem thought frustrating rubbing his head .

"I think he got headace with the music...all my mistake.."gopi thought..."AHemji..can i switch off the music please.."

"Shit..she dint like the music...i am an idiot"

"K"ahem stopped it and gopi closed her eeyes relived and happy for ahema nd ahem turned his head angry and dissapointed.

"How lucky i am to have a husband like ahemji...if only i could not be a noisense to him...this journey would have been perfect"

"she knows about me so well and i dont even know a simple issue about her. If only i could understand her silence...this journey would have been a perfect start."ahem thought

"He is taking me...for me to get better...i have to see that his work wont get disturbed by me at any cost."gopi thought

"This is my last chance to understand her, i wont get the chance again, whatever the case be...this trip wil not go wasted.."

"My chatter always disturbs him...kanaji give me strength to control my self and give him peace"

"Enough of the silent behaviour at any cost...i will break her silence this time..by hook or crook!!"


How wil the silence break and how will the barrier break...see in the part-2

So tell me how is it...as i need to know how to develop further...at present..my mind is pretty empty...so the part-2 wil have the ending...


New Year Gift :: 1

Os: Intezar...

Edited by shaina.sharma - 13 years ago

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maddy311 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#2
wonderful OS shaina. Loved it.koki took away the phone from gopi😆
I liked the ahem's inner thoughts all the way and some were funny😊
Waiting for part 2 now😃
Edited by maddy311 - 13 years ago
Kavya.S thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
omg shaina dear it was just amazing,excellent...well done girl👏
u doubted urself for nothing...see i told u it will be good
you have written it brilliantly...wow
ahem's inner feelings really was excellent and was fun to read
and the doc and chirag's too😆
seriously dear loved it...
cant wait for part 2...

Edited by sks21 - 13 years ago
shruthi2010 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
i loved this gift. cant wait for the next part.
the freeze section of aham is hilarious. poor boy, has to suffer sooo much just to be with his wife.

varshu27 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
wonderful os shaina...ahems really sneaky isnt he...all the trouble he went through to get gopi alone is a treat...i liked way u have written the the last part with both of them in the car...with their inner thoughts...how they r misunderstanding each other...i hope this leads to a key part in their marriage ...communication...
-Eris- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6
Great update dear!! Love ahem s internal dialogue. Am waiting for part two
Edited by vibz88 - 13 years ago
sns_addict thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7
Simply superb Shaina... loved it..
The best part of it was Gopi trying to be silent, so as to not disturb her Ahem, while Ahem wanted to break the silence.. great going !
Justlikethat1 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8

"
definitely must have seen my own face when i got up"

Shaina you got me Laughing so bad ... Fantastic!! Ahem's inner voice was so funny I wonder how he manages to keep his face straight when he actually talks to people... Awaiting part 2 eagerly :)
navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9
enjoyed the part...especially the last part...it is fun time...
How will Ahem get to know about Gopi? Will he be able to understand her !!!!
shaina.sharma thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: maddy311

wonderful OS shaina. Loved it.koki took away the phone from gopi😆
I liked the ahem's inner thoughts all the way and some were funny😊

Waiting for part 2 now😃

ha ha i was expecting it in the serial as koki is hell bent to make ahem a bussiness man again.

thanks for liking them..this was the challenge i was facing..i have to add humour in this os..hence was so nervous..as my humour skills are disaster.

thanks..i wil update as soon as i get a brain wave for it.

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