Thank you again for all your lovely comments 😃
Here is the next update, please forgive me for taking so long but I just didn't get on with it somehow. Also I included one of my favourite German xmas songs, however the translation was not easy and is quite rough, if I say so myself. But the basic idea comes through I hope😆
Hope you enjoy!!!!
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Part 6 ' Suffer
Hearts are beating in realisation about their past mistakes and the thought that they will never be able to make up for them. Suffering apart and together; they are beating the same beat of sorrow.
It was 10 pm as Ahem reached the hotel in Passau and he knew that it was too late to go and meet Gopi now. So he checked into his hotel room. Putting the suitcase to the side and taking off his jacket he sank down on the bed just starring blindly at the ceiling. His mind was in total uproar, undecided, confused and uncertain he was not able to think at all. 'What am I going to do? How am I going to face her and how am I going to make her come with me? And what about Sanjana .. my daughter?' he was asking himself again and again without finding any answers. With a loud groan he sat up and run his right hand through his hair messing it up. Another groan escaped his lips and slamming his right fist in his left hand he got up and went into the bathroom. 'Maybe a shower would do me good' he thought and started to take his clothes of exposing his well trained body.
Sanju had been feeling a little sluggish in the last few days and Doctor Sebald had suggested keeping her at home for the rest of the week. The problems surely came from the new medicine Sanju had been given, which is normal. In about two weeks time the exact dosage will be found and everything was going to go back to normal. But for now Gopi and Julia had a little dare devil at home for which sitting still seemed to be a punishment. Up and down the stairs, into one room and then to the next Sanju ran and Julia or Gopi or both were right behind her. This Sanju wanted to do and five minutes later that however today the plan was clear. Gopi was going to stay at home and let Maria and Jasmine take care of the shop, because today they were going to make Christmas cookies.
Jigar had given Ahem all the contact details he had of Gopi and the address of her shop in Passau. He also told him that she was usually in the shop on Thursday from about 9am. Ahem hadn't dared to call her on her mobile. He thought it would be better to meet her face to face maybe then he would know what to say to her. He hadn't slept a wink in the night. Rolling from one side of the bed to the other sleep had eluded him yet again but this time totally. Tired, worried and frustrated he got up early in the morning and went down to the dining hall to have his breakfast. At about 7.20am he left the hotel and walked the short distance to the street in which Gopi's shop was located. Jigar's directions were very good and he reached the street very soon after leaving the hotel. However it took him over two hours to bring up the courage to go in and meet Gopi finally face-to-face. What stopped him wasn't so much fear but the worry not to be able to find the right words, not being able to make this meeting happy for Gopi and not give her more pain. Now that he stepped into the shop and heard the little doorbell ring he still hadn't found out what to say but he was determined to give it his best shot.
However when he went in the shop he couldn't see Gopi anywhere. Two saleswomen greeted him friendly in German "Gruess Gott (Bavarian way of greeting)" and smiled at him. The taller one was busy with another costumer and so the other lady came towards him. "Kann ich Ihnen helfen? (Can I help you?)" she said. "I am searching for the owner of this shop, Gopi" Ahem told her. Jasmine blinked once and then smiled again and replied in English "I am sorry sir. But Miss Gopi is not coming in the shop today. You can leave a message for her with me, if you want." "No that won't be necessary" Ahem replied and looked around the shop. It was a very nice and inviting shop with its big windows and colourful interior. Also while he was talking to Jasmine before he left the shop he found out how well the shop was doing and got truly impressed with Gopi's work and success. 'I insulted her as gawar but look what she was able to create after not even four years in a foreign country. Unbelievable. I have done her wrong from day one. I am such a monster' Ahem thought depressed. He remembered all the times he had scolded and insulted her without knowing anything; hurting her more and more and still she had always supported him.
Because he had the unbelievable urge to see Gopi right now he decided to go to Obernzell, where he knew she lived. Jigar was able to find out her exact address before going back to India and had passed it on to Ahem. That is why Ahem Modi was now standing outside in the cold while it was snowing and watched his wife, who he hadn't seen for nearly four years, and his daughter he only knew he has since yesterday laughing and having fun through the window of their house. A massive jolt of pain was passing through his body and stayed in his heart. Till now the shock has protected him from the worst pain of knowing that he had lost three years of time with his daughter and his wife. He still loved Gopi deeply but he had tried to deny this feeling, because he had thought her to be undeserving of his love due to the incident. Believing that she had been responsible for his mum's near death experience. But now, now seeing her again, seeing her smile and her gentle, caring way he couldn't believe it anymore and he couldn't believe that he had been so convinced of it. A lonely tear was rolling down his cheek.
"Sanjana do be quiet for a moment." Gopi said for the umpteenth time because the little girl had gone in her super excited mood after hearing that they would make Christmas cookies today, which meant that she was jumping around her Maa and Masi shouting, laughing and singing all at the same time. Gopi and Julia had a lot to do handling the cheeky monkey. But somehow they were able to get all the ingredients for Plaetzchen (xmas cookies) and all utensil they would need out. "Come on cheeky monkey stay up on your chair so that we can finally start making the dough" Julia was groaning in exasperation after Sanju had jumped down the chair for the sixth time. Sanju just laughed and climbed up the chair again and at long last they could start the baking. Between Julia and Sanju a big mess was created. Gopi tried her best to keep it as small as possible at first but gave up after the third spoon of flour was spilled next to the bowl and the melted butter was running over the table as well. The dough was then placed into the fridge for about 20 minutes, which Gopi used to clean up the mess with the help of Sanju and Julia, which was no help at all to say the least. And then to Gopi's horror Sanju and Julia was starting to sing 'In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei (In the xmas bakery)'. Sanju was singing really well but she couldn't cover Julia's wonky notes.
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei (In the xmas bakery)
gibt es manche Leckerei (there is many a treat)
Zwischen Mehl und Milch (Between flour and milk)
macht so mancher Knilch (makes many a boor)
eine riesengrosse Kleckerei. (a massive mess)
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
Wo ist das Rezept geblieben (where is the recipe)
von den Plaetzchen, die wir lieben? (of the cookies, which we love?)
wer hat das Rezept (who has the recipe)
verschleppt (displaced)
Na, dann muessen wir es packen (well then we just have to)
einfach frei nach Schnauze backen (bake without it)
Schmeisst den Ofen an (Put the oven on)
ran! (Let's go)
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
gibt es manche Leckerei
Zwischen Mehl und Milch
macht so mancher Knilch
eine riesengrosse Kleckerei.
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
Brauchen wir nicht Schokolade, (we need chocolate)
Zucker, Honig und Sukkade (sugar, honey and candied peel)
und ein bisschen Zimt? (a little bit of cinnamon)
das stimmt. (That's right)
Butter, Mehl und Milch verruehren (mix butter, flour and milk)
zwischendurch einmal probieren (try once in between)
und dann kommt das Ei (and then the egg)
vorbei. (missed)
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
gibt es manche Leckerei
Zwischen Mehl und Milch
macht so mancher Knilch
eine riesengrosse Kleckerei.
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
Bitte mal zur Seite treten, (please step aside)
denn wir brauchen Platz zum kneten (because we need space to knead)
Sind die Finger rein? (Are the fingers clean?)
du Schwein! (you pig)
Sind die Plaetzchen, die wir stechen, (When the cookies, which we made)
erstmal auf den Ofenblechen, (on the baking tray)
warten wir gespannt (we are eagerly waiting)
verbrannt. (burned)
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
gibt es manche Leckerei
Zwischen Mehl und Milch
macht so mancher Knilch
eine riesengrosse Kleckerei.
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
In der Weihnachtsbaeckerei
Unknown to the three girls inside they have been watched by Ahem, who hadn't moved an inch since he had laid his eyes on his daughter for the first time. He wanted to go to her and Gopi so badly but couldn't make himself move. 'How can I just walk in there and expect them to except me to their little family after all I have done?' he wondered. 'But this is my family! Gopi is my wife and Sanjana is my dikri' he thought to himself feeling anger rising within. Finally breaking the spell and taking a step forward he was overtaken by doubts yet again. He stopped and then decided to go back to the car and call Gopi before storming in on her. Taking out his phone he dialled her number. Through the window he could see her startle to the ringing sound and take her phone into her hand. A confused look crossed her face after she looked at the display to see, who called her, a look Ahem had seen so often and which he found so endearing. Then she picked up the call and he could hear her voice, this sweet voice he had missed so much, which had tortured him in his dreams.
"Jai shri Krishna. Who is calling?" Gopi asked friendly. But there was no reply. "Hello? Hallo? Wer spricht da? (Who is calling?)" she said then repeating it a few times and just as she wanted to put down the phone she heard him say "Gopi". It was just her name but it made her heart race in happiness and anguish at the same time. Since she had seen and talked to Jigar she had been hoping that he would contact her and dreaded it at the same time. Speechless she raised her left hand to her mouth and looked shocked out the window. Julia had noticed her reaction and was stepping close to her, looking her inquiring in the eyes. Gopi shook her head once and then looked pointedly at Sanju. Julia, who got the wink picked up the squirreling little monkey and carried her to the living room making up some excuse. "Ahemji?" Gopi whispered back unable to hide the pain in her voice. Again she looked out the window and saw him standing there next to a car. Shaken she dropped her phone, which landed on the stone floor, disconnecting the call. Without a moment's hesitation or a second to think about it Gopi ran down the stairs and out the door. Ahem, who had watched her, moved forward as well until they were standing just inches apart.
Silently say starred in each other's eyes; trying to find out what the other was thinking, feeling; trying to find something to say, to do; searching for a way to react but coming up blank again and again. Tears were flowing down Gopi's cheek, but if they were tears of joy or sorrow Ahem couldn't tell and Gopi couldn't either. Slowly he reached his hands out and wiped her tears away. Leaving his hands and her cheeks Ahem starred in Gopi's eyes moving closer and closer until their lips where almost touching. Gopi shivered in the cold and with this broke the spell, which seemed to have bound her and Ahem. She put her hands on her arms and rubbed them to keep warm, while taking a step back from her husband. 'I really should have taken a jacket with me, but seeing Ahem ji I couldn't stop myself I just wanted to be near him. But I can't do that .. I can't' Gopi thought and fresh tears started to well up in her eyes, while the well-known pain was spreading in her heart again. She lowered her eyes and looked aside not able to bear the sight of him any longer. 'What was I doing?' Ahem asked himself shocked. 'I can't just turn up and start kissing her after all I did!' Seeing her reaction he felt even worse. While he was watching her another shiver went through her body and her lips were turning blue as well he noticed. Therefore he took of his jacket and put it around Gopi again stepping closer than needed to her getting lost in her beautiful eyes. Gopi was also mesmerized and once more the spell of their love was binding them until they were brought back to reality once more through a passing car.
Finally Ahem found his voice again without a greeting he spoke out the question, which had been going through his mind since the moment Jigar said 'She is living in a small village near Passau together with a young woman and your and her daughter Sanjana.' "Why didn't you tell me Gopi? You should have ' no you had to tell me this. So why didn't you?" broke it out of him in a bitter, reproachful voice. "Because you ordered me not to come before you again and not to bother you with an-any-anything not even if-if-if I should be pre-preg-pregnant" Gopi sobbed heartbroken not believing that he was blaming her for all this. Ahem heart clenched as he heard the unbearable pain in her voice. "Gopi" he said tenderly taking a step towards her again but she backed away from him raising a hand as if to defend herself from him. "Gopi, I would have never sent you away if I had known that.. If I had known about our .. about Sanjana" Ahem stammered. "Please believe me" Finally Gopi looked at him again but his first relief upon this was smashed as he saw the mistrust in her eyes. Frustrated he stepped quickly towards her and grabbed her by her upper arms pulling her close. "Please Gopi believe me and please come back to me. Let us be the family, we should have been a long time ago. I want to get to know my daughter. I want to shower her with the love I have for her and I want to be together with you and her. So please come back to India with me." Ahem said passionately and then gave in to the urge to kiss her. Possessively his lips pressed on hers while his arms moved around her body crushing her against his hard and strong body. Gopi was swept along by his passion putting her arms around his neck pulling him closer to herself while kissing him back with all the love she had for him in her heart. However as they broke the kiss she stepped back and bitter tears scorched her cheeks. She nodded her head 'No' and backed further away from him. "No. No I can't .. hic.. I can't take the risk. You will send me away again, like always. I can't trust you." "Gopi, plea::" "NO!! I CAN'T!! I have to think about Sanju, I can't let you hurt her like you have hurt me again and again. She had it hard enough already" Gopi cried out in anguish and anger. "No Gopi listen to me." "No I won't Ahem ji. Sanju is my baby, my angel, my life and I can't take the risk of you hurting her.", Gopi told him decisively and moved her eyes away from him turning around to leave. "No Gopi I wouldn't" Ahem called after her and grabbed her by the arm turning her around. "You have to believe me!!" "No I don't Ahem ji" Gopi said in a forlorn voice nodding her head in 'no'. "Please leave now Ahem ji. I need time. I can't" Gopi cried and run back into the house totally forgetting about Ahem's jacket.
Tears flowing down her face Gopi leaned with her back on the door slowly sinking to the floor sobbing bitterly. Ahem on the other hand had gone back to the car and now that in the driver's seat with his head on the steering wheel silent tears rolling down. Both of them cursing their fate.
So was that the end of their story? Or just a set back? Will Ahem be able to get his wife and his daughter back? Or will Mr. Ahem Modi fail for the first time in his life?
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So that was the update, how did you like it? Please leave your comments 😃
Part 7 on page 32
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/saath-nibhaana-saathiya/2131437/ff-a-story-of-hearts-part-9-pg47-23-02?pn=32Edited by d-luna88 - 13 years ago
