The one problem I have with this show

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Naina007

@Naina007

Navigator

Posted: 14 years ago

This show is one of my most favourites. I truly adore this show and I'm fond of the actors and actresses in this show as well. I cannot miss a single episode and I truly learn a lot from watching this show.

With that being assessed, I cannot deny that there is something that does bother me about this show.

One thing that bothers me about this show that I've been meaning to share with all of you is the fact that I feel it could be setting out a wrong message to the viewers.

Don't get me wrong, I believe Toasty and Malti do everything they can and do have good intentions as well as the Chaturvedi family's good hearts but...

For example, Toasty cooks food, cleans the house, does laundry and etc for all the men, which is something I suppose every housewife does, but what about running here and there for the little things such as Ved's prayer materials, Somebody else's watch, or ironing someone else's clothes, and so forth.

I feel like it sets a wrong example in today's world with most women now working full time or part time but also managing the household and taking care of the children and their needs.

I don't know if it's an Indian stereotype or a culture but most men believe it's a women's right to do these things and it's their job. So when it comes to helping out, they won't do it because they feel it's not a manly thing to do.

I feel like, there's nothing wrong with the men trying to do household chores too, it not only helps out the women of the house, but it keeps him active too. God forbid something happens to the wife, the husband won't totally be clueless about everything with respect to the housework.

I wish SBS showed that a little bit, like if Toasty is cooking Tej can help cut the vegetables. Or that everyone should wash their own clothes...Or they should clean up after themselves. With this it helps the household run better and the women have help too.

I really don't like how Toasty runs around for every little thing and the men don't really do anything at all. They just sit and enjoy dinner, breakfast, lunch and a clean house as well as clean clothes and so forth.

I feel that's one thing they should change or improve on to set a better example and show the men who believe that women should only do household work, a better example of how to help out without feeling less of a man. And if they learn how to help out around the house from childhood, there wouldn't be any question on whose work it is.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts 😳

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Julle

@second_chances

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

i whole heartily agree with you.

the one scene i HATED in sbs more than any others was when Taosty begged the family to let her slave over their stuff. (the epi before the milk spoiling due to broken fridge).

that is completely the wrong message to the people who are letting go of the "old" ways and old insights on women.

toasty gave up her career, she lives the life of a maid and is portrayed as larger than life.

which is fine if thats what she wants to do. its completely ok for a woman to want to take care of the household , and the people in the house without any help.

but when they generalize it to "womans duty is to serve the house" thats BS and it def portrays the wrong idea.

i looove to cook and i dont let anyone help me in the kitchen when i cook cause i do things a certain way. but that doesnt mean noone helps in my household or no guys touch the dishes or clean or even cook.

this is why i am REALLY REALLY hoping for malti to steer toasty in the right direction. tell toasty that no shes not gonna make 100s rotis,

(really, idk any household that makes that many rotis . my aunt has 6 boys and her husband and when my grandpa was alive he was there too but never had she ever made that many rotis.

my grandpa still at an old age offered to help her in any ways possible which of course she declined but her kids are still expected to be more active in the household.

as my family says, its a home, not a hotel where you come to eat and sleep only!

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.PerfectLove.

@.PerfectLove.

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

Working for our only house is not calling us a maid ! I agree that Tosty asks to give her all the responsibilities but i think that there is love between all the Chaturs ! Malti may have problems with them but Tosty will always look after them ! And remember this house was just of 7 men before , so it's not soo easy to take out all the wrong ways in only one day ! Must wait for that

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Mehek25

@Mehek25

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

@ Naina007

@ AradhnaRama

Both of u are right from ur individual POV. Sometimes Toasty does tend to overdo the good bahu act. But I think that's what appeals to the Indian viewers. Although it could also send out a wrong message and all in-laws will expect their bahus to be like Toasty. They should tone it down a bit. One thing I can't understand is how in such a big family they still haven't thought of getting a washing machine. Not that they can't afford it. In today's times a WM is a necessity not a luxury. Every time I see Toasty washing clothes I think of that. But barring these few points it is a sweet show.

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akash08

@akash08

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

They should simply keep a maid.. what they are showing is not stereo type of Indian families - almost all Indian families of same economic background of Chaturvedi family will have a maid for all household works.

As for cooking as I mentioned before I think it is Toasty's job as she has volunteered not to do any job. Well if you do not do a job (and that too willingly) the natural work load disctrubution means you do cooking. If she was doing a job - then I agree it is a shared responsibility.

Like you take breaks from job, have sick days - she should also get breaks and I think they showed how other members joined up in cooking and doing all hosue works when she was sick - but the mahan atma in Toasty does not let her be in peace and she again volunteered to do all the work herself. Also do remember that when Toasty came back to house after her eviction , the family members did understand that they need to share the work load but Toasy again overruled that and took everything on her.

In sumary, I think SBS story line will be completely weak if they do not show the ladies in the house working like full time maids and that is why they are forced to show this. However, this is not at all reperesenative of Indian society - not at all and this is not realistic also.

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Nita Patel

@colt

Beginner

Posted: 14 years ago

To me it is not a matter of keeping a maid for household work or giving a wrong message to viewers. We have sooo many shows where there is tooo much politics and haterated among the family members .. don't you think that is wrong? I belive in this show they are trying to show ideal indian family with all the members down to earth. We already had a discussion in other links where someone had mentioned that it is nice to see people walking around bare feet, ladies not wearing heavy jewelery whole day long in this show. We all know that now a days almost everyone has maid, has washing machines etc. To me what is more important is that Tosty doesn't mind doing household work since she believes it is her own home. Women are in charge of the house and men is responsible to earn money to support the family. We can have whole new show where women could be responsible to earn money and med in charge of house - there is nothing wrong in that too. We all watch these shows and knows very well what should be learned from it and what to avoid. If any in-laws expect their bahus to work like Toasty then I am sure they will be ready to also face their bahus to bring dirty politics in their house and break the family unitiy. All in all this show has a looot more positive messages to overlook this little draw back. Honestly I enjoy this show soo much that I have never thought of it as mentioned.

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The one problem I have with this show

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