What is the speed of dark? The speed of dark happens to be identical to the speed of my forehead approaching a closed bathroom door at 4.00 AM in the morning.. When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? A lot of humour..he/she will need it upon opening the package. How come you never hear about gruntled employees? Because it spoils the image of a happy workplace.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? No gift is free.. since you have to always give a return gift. But a "free gift" is a con business where there is an invisible catch trying to lure you. If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? Try it out..if it works out fine then do let me know.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Nope not at all, hostages have to be physical people. Because they are only personalities they do not count. It will be called a suicide attempt.
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs? Off duty
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? To the nearest Pub.😆
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? There used to be, but the cats did not like the artificial flavor
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? The first builder who built a multi story house was superstitious and left out 13th floor .The others followed suit. However, the secretary to the first publisher had made a typo while typing Chapter 12 and wrote as Chapter 11, which got missed out during proof reading as well and since then all other publishers have been following it. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? To prove your age.
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited here? For the same reason a cigarette maker has the statutory sign on the pack that reads " Smoking is injurious to health and then goes and makes it.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? No they have a in-built check valve to stop it. Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? Already relpied.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? The spelling of this word reflects its Latin root "phon" which means "sound".
Where are Preparations A through G? Gone in search of a taker
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like? Abnormally rickety.
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away? No ,why?😕 When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? No he too is trying to read between the lines
What happened to the first 6 "ups"? They flopped..The seventh one was a success and got named "Seven Up"
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? From the olives as well .
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there? First have to get the sponges out to do the experiment.You host them while I find out.
Can Washington just flash a quarter for his ID? No , he is too shy for that.He wouldn't go ahead of his time.He'd simply take out his drivers license for his ID
Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills? For the wireless charges.. not for the speech. |