Her head was reeling with emotions, so much so that she didn't know what she was feeling, what she should be feeling.
A small part of her mind was pleasantly surprised, as if this was what it had been waiting for all these 5 years.
But another part of her mind felt hard, it felt empty. It felt as if someone had just delivered a cold blow to her stomach. She was used to feeling this way, to the emptiness. It felt like being trapped in a vacuum, where you are completely alone, you have no one to be with, no one to talk to, no one to confide in.
Except the fact that she didn't need everyone, she needed him. She needed to feel his presence, she needed to feel his warm arms surround her, she needed to feel his heartbeats when she kept her face on his chest, she needed to feel his lips around hers, she needed his words of support when she occasionally broke down, she needed someone to fight with, someone she could be her crazy self with, she needed her psycho.
She needed him so much, and she was going to meet him. She was going to see him, again, after 3 years. She allowed the thought to ease the emptiness a little bit, she slowly moved her head back to lean in the seat.
She closed her eyes. The memories flashed in her mind as if she was skimming through a book. They felt so close, so real. Those were the times when she had really been happy, genuinely happy. Before meeting him, she was happy, yes. And after she met him, she felt like she belonged somewhere. And when they parted ways, she hadn't felt that sense of belonging, the feeling that someone cares, ever since.
Sure enough, she had Tia. Tia Ahuja. Her sister.
She smiled. How much she had hated Tia in the beginning ..no wait, she didn't hate her. Hate was a strong emotion. She had to admit, she was fond of Tia since the beginning. She had really begun to like her when they joined hands against Jasmine. Good ol' times.
And Ranveer. Thakur. He was a dear friend. Tia was so lucky to have him. She remembered how she and Tia used to tease Ranveer and him, bringing in random guys to act like close friends. She remembered the disturbed frown on their face, on his face.
She had Sonia and Sumeet, who loved her so much.
But, she needed him. She needed the only guy who could send shivers down her spine by his one touch, she needed the only guy she wasn't afraid to cry in front of, she needed the only guy who loved her.
Or, who, she thought, loved her.
She felt the cold blow again as the memories of that day flashed in front of her. Her hands clenched themselves into fists as the determined and the grim look in her eyes were replaced by visible pain, hurt, betrayal and suffering.
She wasn't ready for this, she won't ever, never be ready to face him again.
But she had to, for Tia and Ranveer and Sid and Vrinda's sake, for Remix's sake.
*Flashback*
'''Tia can't believe ki this is our last night in Maurya. Ye 3 saal kaise beet gaye, pata hi nahi chala .. ''
''I know, Tia.'' Ranveer sighed. ''Humne apni zindagi ka best time Maurya mein bitaaya hai .. aur ab-''
''Aur ab zindagi nahi rukne wali, Ranveer. We are all friends, guys. Hum milte rahenge, har pal saath rahenge. And what about Remix? Hum usse bhi toh nahi chod sakte..'' Yuvi insisted.
''Psycho, kisne kaha ki hum Remix ko jaane denge? Hum Remix ko kabhi nahi todenge..''
''But, Ashi, hum kaise manage karenge? Me and Tia are moving to New York, mujhe vahaan se ek bahut achi job ka offer aaya hai.'' Ranveer said. ''And Yuvi bhi toh London jaa raha hai, to study in this famous university for people who are interested in music.''
Ashi looked away, Yuvi squeezed her hand. ''Wacko, don't worry, it's just a 5 years course. And uske baad, we will be together.''
''I know, psycho.'' Ashi kissed him on the cheek.
''But, agar sab alag alag jagah pe honge, toh Remix- ?''
''Oh fo Thakur, Remix ko kuch nahi hoga..'' Ashi grinned. ''Yuvi is leaving for 5 years, tum dono bhi jaa rahe ho .. toh, let's do one thing. Theek 5 years baad, let's meet up. All of us. Chahe hum jahaan bhi ho, jaise bhi hon, we will be together for a good month in 5 years. Same month, October. And place.. ''
''Goa?'' Tia offered.
''Nah. I am not too fond of beaches.'' Ashi shrugged. ''How about Ladakh?''
''Ladakh, but it's too cold out there.'' Ranveer protested.
''Toh? Simple solution ' get a sweater, Thakur. Ladakh is cool, imagine, vo thandi thandi snow-covered mountains, trekking, skiing, it will be so much fun! Besides, I've always wanted to go to Ladakh.''
Yuvi noticed the glow on Ashi's face. ''Ladakh it is, then.'' He looked at Ranveer and Tia.
''Tia agrees, Tia likes snow. I'm in for Ladakh.''
''Me too.'' Sid chimed in. ''Ladakhhh!''
Ashi looked at Vrinda. ''Maate?''
''Yeah, count me in.'' Vrinda smiled. Ashi knew she was upset, Sid was going to London with Yuvi, and Vrinda was going to Chennai. She knew that making this pact will be a good idea for all of them.
''And me?'' Kabir pouted. ''I am your manager, guys.''
Ashi snorted. ''Ofcourse, Kabir, you're in, too. Ranveer-''
''Camel, haan bolo na.. fast!''
''Fine. Hum bhi aayenge, Ladakh, after 5 years.''
Ashi held her hand forward. ''Remix rocks.''
They kept their hand on hers one by one. ''Remix rocks.''
*Flashback ends*
Why did she ever make this pact? She couldn't see him, she didn't want to see him. And he will be there. He will be close enough to touch, and she'll have to face him despite the fact that he took away everything she had to give, and she couldn't help it, she couldn't.
''Ashi .. ''
Yeah, he'd been there for her, too. All this while, when Tia and Ranveer had got engaged and moved to New York, and Vrinda had gone to Chennai to live with her sister, he was the only one that was there for her.
''I'm fine, Kabir.''
''Ab mujhse toh jhoot mat bolo, Ashi.'' Kabir smiled warily. ''I know you better than anyone else, and I can tell when you're lying.''
''I know.'' Ashi looked away. ''I just' ''
''You're scared, I know.'' Ashi turned around sharply, and he threw his hands back, and smiled. ''Don't gimme that 'ooh im too strong to be broken' defence. I know you, Ashi. He broke your heart, and you've been dying inside all these years. And now, you have to face him, be there with him for a month, I can't even imagine what it's like .. '' His voice trailed off as he noticed the faraway look in her eyes. ''But, you know, I'm there for you, right? Anytime you wanna leave, we will be on a plane like this, back to Mumbai.''
''Thanks, Kabir. For everything.'' Ashi rested her head on his shoulder, and he ran a hand through her hair.
''You don't have to thank me, Ashi. I'm your best friend, remember? And friendship mein no sorry, no thank you.''
Ashi closed her eyes as the plane started to land. Here she was, finally, in Ladakh.
--
PS - The whole 'pact' idea is inspired by one of my friend's MJHT FF 'The Pact'. The story goes along the lines of Gunjan-Samrat in that story, and I give full credit to TheWandmaker. 😊
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Indian Mythology
Chakravarti Samrat Prithviraj Chauhan
Shiv Shakti
Anupamaa
