FF: The Beautiful and the Condemned (Completed) - Page 15

Bholenath seemed to have shed tears along with Parvati. That night, it poured in Chandangarh. Rudra had just finished changing into his white kurta and now watched from his window as people in the streets ran for shelter, covering themselves with anything they could get their hands on. The sky was completely gray, without any trace of sunlight. The streaks of lightning in the distance painting his dark room white, but only for a moment. The sound of thunder was barely audible from his location, but judging by the lightning strikes, it was going to get closer by the end of the night.

Rudra didn't care about that. His mind was on Parvati. He had left her alone in the cellar and closed the doors so she would be able to cry freely and he wouldn't have to hear it. He had been used to hearing cries of pain and sadness, but there was something about hers that didn't settle well with him. It had been almost four hours now. He wondered if he should go check on her. He glanced over at the steaming pot of chai that was boiling on the stove. He did make enough for two, and it was cold down there. Somehow, Rudra felt he needed a justification for going down to the cellar and seeing her, some other reason than her just being his prisoner. He poured the chai into two cups and went down to the cellar.

It was quiet. The lights were off. The only thing illuminating the room was the fire in the metal bin. From the glow of the flames, Rudra saw Parvati sitting with her knees to her chest, staring into at the fire before her, almost lost within its embers. Her eyes, which were still brimming with tears, reflected the red and orange colors protruding from the bin. Her arms were around her knees. Parvati was so lost that she didn't even notice him come to her until he cleared his throat. Upon hearing the sound, she jumped and looked up at him. That was when Rudra saw that the spark, that fighting power in her eyes, had vanished. She must've been really upset after hearing what Varun had said, he thought.

He bent down and extended the hot cup of chai to her and said, "Here. It'll keep you warm."

She didn't say anything. She looked at the cup, then back at him. As if reading her mind, Rudra took a sip from her cup, proving once again that he didn't poison it. It was only after he did that that Parvati took the cup from him. Her eyes remained on the cup in her hand, but she didn't take a sip. She just continued to stare at it like she was at the flames earlier. Rudra turned on his heels and hadn't even taken a step away from her when she spoke.

"Jallad?" she said ever so softly and tenderly.

Rudra stopped. Once again, she was calling out for him. She wasn't mocking him, or trying to fight against him. She was calling for him, wanting to talk to him. For what, he didn't know. He glanced over his shoulder at her, silently telling her that he was listening.

"Will you leave the cellar door open so I can hear the rain?" Parvati asked.

Rudra fully turned back to face her now. She wasn't even looking at him. Instead, she was still staring at the chai in her hand. He still wasn't able to fully register what was happening. Did she just ask him if he could leave the cellar door open so she could listen to the rain? Deep down inside, he wanted to comply with her request, but the jallad in him emerged. He shouldn't be listening to what this woman has to say. Her words didn't matter. Nothing about her mattered. He just needed to keep her alive until Tejawat gave the order. That was all.

Rudra's brow furrowed as he spoke in a warning tone, "Parvati-."

"Paro," she said.

"What?"

"Paro. That's what everyone calls me."

The creases on Rudra's forehead disappeared when she looked up at him. The jallad was silenced as the human began creeping through. He hadn't heard anyone call her Paro, only Parvati. Maybe people close to her call her Paro, but then why was she telling him that? Was he suppose to call her that? No, he doesn't mean anything to her. He's just her captor...right?

Parvati asked him again, "Will you let me listen to the rain...please?"

Words would not escape his mouth. The gentleness and honesty in her plea left him incapable of forming a proper sentence. Rudra could only give a small nod and sit a few feet away from her near the fire. The sound of the heavy downpour filled the cellar. It's emptiness only amplified the sound. Rudra drank his chai and kept staring into the flames, wondering why he didn't just deny Parvati's request to listen to the rain. He had the power to say no, yet it somehow all went down the drain the minute she asked him. All he could do now was sit and wait for her to fall asleep so he could leave and shut the cellar behind him.

He glanced over at her every now and then to find her sipping away at the cup in her hand. Once it was empty, she didn't hand it back to him, she merely held on to it and look at its emptiness. Rudra could tell she was thinking about something, but wasn't sure of what. It bothered him that he didn't know. For years he had spent his time torturing prisoners, understanding what they were thinking just by the looks on their faces. It was something he believed he had mastered well. But Parvati...she was different. Every movement, every word, every facial expression was so complicated. He wished he could shake her and tell her to tell him what she is thinking about, but if he did that, she would pull away. So, Rudra sat silently and observed her carefully, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of hers.

The silence between them was beginning to take a toll on Rudra. They had been sitting for thirty minutes now, and neither one of them had said a word. He had had enough. He was going to tell her to go to sleep and that he was shutting the doors. However, his gaze locked on hers as he heard her speak, breaking the silence between them.

"Not many people call me Parvati," she said as she looked at the flames.

In those words, Rudra knew that Parvati was going to talk to him. She was going to tell him what she had been thinking about for the passed thirty minutes. He was both intrigued and, for the first time, worried. There was a tone of sadness laced in her voice, a sadness that didn't seem to come from Varun's truth being revealed. It was something else. Rudra began sensing that what she was about to say would leave him more confused about her than ever...but he was still willing to listen. So he did. Parvati glanced over at Rudra and found him looking at her, waiting for her to continue.

She turned her attention back to the flames, took a deep breath, and began, "My mami-sa calls me Parvati when she is upset with me. Sometimes, when I'd run off, she would yell for me by calling me Parvati. Other than that, she called me Paro. Varun...he called me Parvati because he liked the name. I've grown so accustomed to hearing Paro that being called Parvati sounds so unfamiliar. I remember when my maa-sa and bapu-sa first called me Paro. It was a rainy day, just like this. I was playing outside with my friend, Bindi, and they kept calling me to come inside, but I wouldn't listen. Then they yelled Paro' and I turned and acknowledged them. Ever since then the name has stuck."

Rudra saw a sad smile appear on her face.

Parvati let out a small chuckle, "I never really thought about it before, but they are the ones who gave me that nickname. I suppose it's their way of staying in my memories."

He looked at her confused, but then felt a tug in his chest as her smile faded and tears began forming.

She continued, "My maa-sa and bapu-sa died when I was eight years old. There was a fire in our home that was caused by a candle not being blown out, and they died in their sleep. I wasn't home that night. I was staying the night at mami-sa's house. When it was time to go home, my mami-sa wouldn't let me. I asked her many times why she wouldn't let me go, and she kept saying that my parents weren't home yet. I waited and waited, thinking that they would come and get me...but...they never did. My mami-sa had to tell me that they died. I didn't believe her until I saw the remnants of my home. It was just...ashes. All those memories...those mementoes...my maa-sa and bapu-sa...they were all in that black pile of ash."

Rudra closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. Her story was bringing back those memories which he had so desperately tried to lock away. With much strength, he opened his eyes and listened to her.

Parvati wiped the tears from her face, "Mami-sa took me in after their deaths. I cried so much. I had never felt so alone before. I prayed to Bholeneath, asking him to please give me my maa-sa and bapu-sa back. He never did. I cried, wondering what I had done wrong to lose something so precious to me. There were even times I asked why I didn't stay home that night. Why didn't I die with them? To this day, I still don't know. Years have gone by, and there isn't a day I don't think about that incident. But I've learned that instead of dwelling on wondering why I didn't die with them, I embrace the life that my maa-sa and bapu-sa gave me. I live in the moments that I created with them that reside and will continue to reside in my heart forever."

At this point, Rudra was using all his willpower to swallow the lump in his throat. He never expected her to have gone through so much. Her story was so similar to his. They had both lost their parents in a fire, leaving them orphaned. She managed to change her state of mind and look at life more beautifully. However, Rudra looked at life in a darker fashion. How was it that two people, who had gone through the same situation, lived life so differently? One perspective was beautiful, while the other was condemning. He stared at Parvati in awe, not because of what she had gone through, but because she was telling all of this to him, the monster who had spent days trying to break her. The question that gnawed at him finally reached his lips.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Rudra asked.

She met his questioning eyes and said, "Because when I spoke of your parents, you had this anger and pent up rage that caused you to lash out towards me. When I looked in your eyes, I saw that anger, but I also saw pain. That pain, which only a person could feel when they lose the two people who gave them life. I don't know what happened to your maa-sa and bapu-sa, and I don't expect you to tell me. After all, I am just a prisoner. But somewhere deep down inside you're hurting, and I don't know why but I feel that I could understand it."

Rudra felt a crack in the ice surrounding his heart. His prisoner was trying to understand him, expecting nothing in return. Parvati read his emotions better than even he himself could. As he tried to mask his pain with the jallad rage, she saw through it. She would be able to understand what he had gone through, and there's a part of her that wants to know, he could see that much. But she didn't want to provoke him.

"You act like a jallad, but you weren't always this way," Parvati analyzed. "If you were born a jallad, you would never have cared for me the way you did."

Rudra was touched, but also somewhat frightened. In a matter of minutes, Parvati was able to get through to him, to empathize with him, something no one had ever been able to do. For the first time ever, Rudra felt vulnerable. He felt like an open book that she calmly and effortlessly reading. How was it that she was able to enter a part of himself that even he was afraid to understand? And how was she not scared? Something about Parvati was dangerously attractive, so much so that Rudra unknowingly felt himself being pulled towards her.

"Rudra," he said.

Parvati was puzzled, "What?"

"Rudra. My name is Rudra."

"Oh."

"You and I have gone through similar situations. I too have-."

The loud sound of thunder brought the conversation to an abrupt halt. It's much closer than before, Rudra thought. The sound, followed by the flash of lightning, caused Parvati to let out a small scream. The cup in her hand fell to the ground as she closed her eyes and covered her ears. She was shaking and sniffling. Rudra was shocked to see such a reaction out of her. She was crying because she was scared? Of what? Lightning and thunder?

"It's just a storm," Rudra stated calmly. "It can't get inside."

"Please make it stop," Parvati pleaded.

"You were the one that asked to listen to the rain."

"I'm okay with rain, but not thunder and lightning."

"You're afraid of...a storm? That can't even get inside?"

She nodded furiously. She quickly grabbed the rudraksh around her wrist and rubbed it. Noticing this, Rudra involuntarily fiddled with the rudraksh around his wrist.

"Why?" he asked.

"I always ha-," thunder rumbles, causing Parvati to jump and cover her ears. She closed her eyes tightly. "Please, just make it stop."

"It's a storm. I can't make it stop."

"Rudra, please!"

She wasn't just afraid of the storm, she was petrified. Rudra watched her huddle into herself, paralyzed with fear. Her pleas to him were sinking in. He didn't know why, but he didn't like seeing her in this state. He was determined to put an end to her fears. Right here. Right now. Rudra put his cup down next to him and got up. He dusted his kurta off before he sat down next to her. Without even looking at her, Rudra put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. Parvati felt his hand come around her. She opened her eyes and found him pulling her close. He wasn't looking at her, instead his gaze was off somewhere in the flames. She was surprised by his actions, but didn't pull away from him. Something in her heart was telling her that she couldn't. Parvati wanted to question his sudden movement, but her inquiry came out of her mouth in one word.

"Rudra?" she said.

He knew she was questioning his sudden actions. He didn't look at her, but spoke in a calming voice, "Don't worry. The storm will pass. You'll be fine. You're safe here."

Parvati didn't question him further. The thunder and lightning continued for a good two hours. In that time, Rudra didn't leave her side once. She didn't move away from him. In fact, when the rumbling of thunder filled the cellar, she moved closer to him, digging her face in his chest until it stopped. Her fingers found the rudraksh around his wrist, and she held on to it. She looked at him as he continued to watch the enflamed bin. Him being there was comforting to her, which confused her more. She was finding solace in her captor.

Rudra was just as confused as she was. Deep down inside, he felt this strong need to rid her of her fears. Being there beside her, comforting her, was something he felt that only he could do. Parvati would jump as the thunder and lightning continued. Every time she moved closer to him, Rudra wrapped his arm tighter around her, making sure that she would feel safe. He felt her hands curl around his rudraksh, but didn't pull away. He could tell it was giving her some comfort. He stayed by her side because he felt that she would break down otherwise. They didn't speak, but the silence did. The storm outside was nothing compared to the storm brewing within them.

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So what's going to happen in the next chapter? I'll give you a little hint...tears, pain, and...death! (dun dun dun!!!!) Stay tuned for the next update!

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