Posted:
Originally posted by: chotidesi
Niyoti, you're fabulous. Amazing. Wonderful. Fantastic. Phenomenal. I'm running out of positive adjectives. I want this to happen. I want him to realize her loss deeply, to feel it within every part of him- and then I want him to manaofy her and make her come back with him. Not by force, but of her own will.
This line: Paro was packing. With an unaccustomed nervous flutter of his heart he concluded that the trunks looked far too heavily stuffed for a short trip away.You've depicted his noticing that she doesn't seem like she's going to come back very well. The nervous flutter- the tightening of his heart- everything tells him that something is wrong, that she is planning on leaving him. And it hurts him, and you've shown that so, so well.I also really liked this line: The wide smiles that had earlier been bestowed freely had been replaced by cautious ones and for a man who had vowed to keep his distance he felt the loss far too keenly.He promised her he'd keep his distance, but I think he'll start living for her smiles and her laughter- This line just stuck out to me. She's so generous with her love right now, I want to see how it'll be when she's hurt by him, when she doesn't want to win him over- when he has to do that.Wonderful job, Niyoti- Every time, you set the standard higher.
Choti! What an amazing morale booster you are woman!
Thank you so much for all the adjectives. They are much appreciated ( with an accompanying lopsided smile) and I'm truly humbled.
There is only so much hurt a person can take before they start building walls again. Unconditional love cannot be erased, there is always an ebb and flow, but it's never truly gone. One can grow cautious though. If remedied at the right moment i think it can always be salvaged.
I want Rudra to feel the depth of his emotions too.
Thank you so much!
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