Posted:
You know that point when something happens in front of you, and you watch it, or you live it--but you know, this moment, out of the million moments that happen everyday--you know this moment will stay with me until I die? You are totally absorbed, and yet there is a part of you that thinks...this is it..this is what I will never forget, this is the visual, the emotion that will stay with me. Good or bad-its imprinted. You are even conscious of it happening--that development of that ONE memory--and you know you'll carry it with you forever.
For me, it happened as I watched the scene between Rudra and Paro today, the exact moment when he rested his head on her lap. I got a flashback, of my brother doing the exact same thing to my mom, when I was, what--? I think about 9 years old. He was 5, burning up with typhoid fever, we were all so scared for him--Dhaka in the 80s was not a good place to have a sick child. It was actually safer to have him nursed at home instead of the hospital. And I recall exactly what I was wearing, the exact texture of the doorknob, the color of the bed-sheets--- when I stood outside my parents' room, praying that the kid brother I adored would make it through the night.
I looked in to see him, I was so scared for him, I thought if watched over him, he wouldn't dare die with his Apu right there--I was supposed to be asleep, but I wasn't, you know? And I remember seeing my brother get up from his little bed,delirious with fever, stagger to my mom, lay his head on her lap, then instantly fall asleep. And I remember my mom looking shocked, and then the tenderness, the way she touched his hair. And I knew immediately, that he'd be fine. She's MAKE him be fine. I turned, went back to my bedroom and probably collapsed or something, since I don't remember anything else about that entire episode.
But that moment, when the child needed the mother, and he knew it, and she was right there--that moment stayed.
Today, I watched that exact same scene on screen, on a goddamn Indian serial, for God's sake--and I burst into tears. My kid brother, now about 6 feet 2, and 25 years old, was sitting next to me. And Brother-Monster was totally creeped out by his Apu "attacking" and then hugging the crap out of him. After Brother-Monster got me sorted, he stopped watching "That hot Irani girl" to avoid more crazy hugging and wandered off to do whatever it is brothers do. And all I could think was--now thats acting.
To bring me, a cynical, totally sarcastic, totally un-involved person back to a memory that resonated with me, because I could SEE the pain, the shock the fear, and then the love and patient tenderness-see it clearly reflected on the faces of two people. These were two young Indian actors, doing their day jobs. They showed a script they were paid to show, on screen. And they are not real. I know this, you know this. But Rudra and Paro now live for me, onscreen, and in here, in my head.
That is acting, baisas. Ashish, and Sanaya, acting. That, right there, is the memory of RR for me, forever. Thanks for reading. Share your thoughts?
For me, it happened as I watched the scene between Rudra and Paro today, the exact moment when he rested his head on her lap. I got a flashback, of my brother doing the exact same thing to my mom, when I was, what--? I think about 9 years old. He was 5, burning up with typhoid fever, we were all so scared for him--Dhaka in the 80s was not a good place to have a sick child. It was actually safer to have him nursed at home instead of the hospital. And I recall exactly what I was wearing, the exact texture of the doorknob, the color of the bed-sheets--- when I stood outside my parents' room, praying that the kid brother I adored would make it through the night.
I looked in to see him, I was so scared for him, I thought if watched over him, he wouldn't dare die with his Apu right there--I was supposed to be asleep, but I wasn't, you know? And I remember seeing my brother get up from his little bed,delirious with fever, stagger to my mom, lay his head on her lap, then instantly fall asleep. And I remember my mom looking shocked, and then the tenderness, the way she touched his hair. And I knew immediately, that he'd be fine. She's MAKE him be fine. I turned, went back to my bedroom and probably collapsed or something, since I don't remember anything else about that entire episode.
But that moment, when the child needed the mother, and he knew it, and she was right there--that moment stayed.
Today, I watched that exact same scene on screen, on a goddamn Indian serial, for God's sake--and I burst into tears. My kid brother, now about 6 feet 2, and 25 years old, was sitting next to me. And Brother-Monster was totally creeped out by his Apu "attacking" and then hugging the crap out of him. After Brother-Monster got me sorted, he stopped watching "That hot Irani girl" to avoid more crazy hugging and wandered off to do whatever it is brothers do. And all I could think was--now thats acting.
To bring me, a cynical, totally sarcastic, totally un-involved person back to a memory that resonated with me, because I could SEE the pain, the shock the fear, and then the love and patient tenderness-see it clearly reflected on the faces of two people. These were two young Indian actors, doing their day jobs. They showed a script they were paid to show, on screen. And they are not real. I know this, you know this. But Rudra and Paro now live for me, onscreen, and in here, in my head.
That is acting, baisas. Ashish, and Sanaya, acting. That, right there, is the memory of RR for me, forever. Thanks for reading. Share your thoughts?
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
