OS: Yesterday and Tomorrow--Forgiveness (completed)

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Meena

@chotidesi

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#21

Holy wow. Just. Wow. WOW. Tere saamne toh mujhe... I just can't even. That was fabulous. Laila's pain, her anguish and then- her love of the children. The children, oh my god the children. The way you showed her just scooping them up- and the way you illustrated her forgiveness and the bonding between Paro and Laila. And Paro- her quiet demure actions fit so well with the show and Laila was such a contrast- the way you handled her gave her dignity and grace, which is something they completely took away from her in the show. Standing ovation- this was absolutely phenomenal.

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: likeadesigirl
Holy wow. Just. Wow. WOW. Tere saamne toh mujhe... I just can't even. That was fabulous. Laila's pain, her anguish and then- her love of the children. The children, oh my god the children. The way you showed her just scooping them up- and the way you illustrated her forgiveness and the bonding between Paro and Laila. And Paro- her quiet demure actions fit so well with the show and Laila was such a contrast- the way you handled her gave her dignity and grace, which is something they completely took away from her in the show. Standing ovation- this was absolutely phenomenal.

Have to admit--never got a Holy wow as a comment before! I am totally stealing that to use in my daily life, btw! Thanks so much for the comment, I re-read your critique at least 50 times because I was so touched that you took the time to analyze why I used certain elements, like Paro's silence, and the babies, to redeem poor Laila.

Open request to my other wonderful readers--bash me! Please, get your hands dirty, tell me what you liked, what you didn't, what you want to see next! It will only make me work slavishly for you in more and more One Shots, I promise you!

I loved all the comments, and yours, I've been sitting here smiling goofily at the screen where nothing but numbers are supposed to be--so actually, now that I think about it--I might be fired for mental issues since my boss is looking at me weirdly--

so..umm..anyway----Thanks!!

Edited by napstermonster - 11 years ago

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: IronButterfly
This was so heart wrenching.
What strength Paro has.
It was a big risk to meet Laila, yet she took it.
Shows the beauty and purity of her heart.

Hina!

I hope you had an absolutely fantastic birthday, and ate as much biryani as you no doubt Paro-like slender tummy could hold! I'm glad you found time to visit the forum on your special day--thanks for your comment, and again--have a wonderful Birthday, wherever you are!

-Navin

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: ...Pwincess...
I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! It's got to a point where I look forward to your update more than the actual episode. You truly keep to the real essence of the characters and I especially like the way that you write about Laila's character, as you make her so human, with real emotions. I really wish you were a writer for Rangrasiya as theyre just making Laila ot as a typical Vamp.

Thank you very much for giving us the pleasure to read such wonderful work.

Comments such as yours makes the hours sitting in front of the empty word-doc worth the effort, you know! I am actually following the serial closely, but in my head there are so many detours they can take with the characters, and areas they should explore, that they just don't... I need to visit those story lines for myself.

And I am honored you'd think I could write for the show. I dont blame the CVs at all--I really believe they must be incredibly talented people--they gave us these emotionally resonant, deeply moving characters and evocative back-stories, after all. The pleasure of writing for readers like you is the knowledge that I am not the only one who wonders about the paths the story DIDN'T get to follow.

And for that I blame TRP Aunties, over exited 9 year olds who's heads would explode if Ashish ever DID kiss anyone onscreen and who knows, the Indian Soap Opera Fairy who punishes too much original thought!! But hey, at least it can still exist in fiction land! Thank you for being so incredibly encouraging...it means a lot!!

Edited by napstermonster - 11 years ago

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anisa79

@anisa79

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#25

That was just AMAZING!! What a beautiful piece of writing! Update soon cant wait to read more!

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imran78

@imran78

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#26

I have truly no words to describe this part.

But i can begin with awesome ... and end with buckets of tears. Really.

Eagerly waiting for the YESTERDAY part.

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Hunnybunny3

@Hunnybunny3

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#27

Oh my days!! That was a fantabulous update. You had me in tears girl. Paro asking for forgiveness shows just how much grace and humility she has. Not many would do that. As for the meeting with the babies...what a perfect olive branch to extend. For Laila it was like the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Utter perfection!!

If I haven't said this enough you are a wonderful writer and it's an absolute pleasure to read your work. Many thanks for sharing this with us.x

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Tvbug2011

@tvbug2011

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#28

Beautiful, beautiful story, Napster! Lump in my throat as I write this. Wonderfully captured the complexities, the hand of God. Would have loved to see a little more of Rudra at the end. But even without, the story sparkles and cuts like a diamond. 👏👏