The Widow Etiquette - Page 3

I don't think that a woman should be defined by what she wears... if Paro wants to dress down , its her prerogative , if she doesn't its her prerogative again...

Very well said NB ...

I post one comment about sanaya's dressing style after reading today's SBB segment , I am not a narrow mind person at all. , and I see so much skin every day , in the mall , at the restaurants , grocery stores , streets every where , it's just that after reading Sanaya's comments about her clothes, and showing off her skin, I was a little bit concern , but as some one suggested , she is grown up and if she is un comfortable about what she is wearing e she will talk to ph about that and I am totally agree with her

Leave the serial aside for a while. I hate the bigotry in our culture , wherein a widow must act as if wearing colours, being happy, moving on is a sin, while a widower is advised to marry as soon as the dust settles, because itni lambi zindagi akele kaise guzaaroge. What rubbish. I remember I once met the mother of one of my mum's friends. Her husband died when she was barely 21, and she told us that since then, the only colours she wore were brown, black, grey , white and cream. And how one of her own relatives had scolded her when she wore a pink suit to a wedding. It made me so sad, that this young woman , who was already dealing with the grief of a dead husband, was told very clearly that she no longer has any right to happiness, colours. On the other hand, no one imposes such ridiculous rules on men.

As for Paro, she doesn't even know the man well. She might have been attracted to him , probably thought he was sweet, and yes she was looking forward to building a life with him, but she wasn't in love with him. And she has had to deal with worse in the last few days. Besides, she took off the lehenga and jewellery the moment she got a chance. And the lehenga she wore in the SBS is so sober compared to her earlier outfits. It's dark and has a white chunni. And she's hardly wearing any jewellery. Note that there are no bangles. What more do people want? And I think Sanaya's comment about not being covered enough was just a joke. And if she had a problem , she'd tell the PH and her stylist.

Originally posted by: Kishmish

Very well said NB ...

but all those traditions would have been followed had she been in her own

environment with all the old women around who would make sure that

she is treated and made to feel like a widow ...

but God am I glad that she is not dressed up like one !

in Rajathan and many other states they treat widows like an achut ...

even in south India where women are discouraged from wearing any jewellery, even a bangle, from wearing a bindi or from taking active part in festivals and happy occasions.

Basantiji: nice post once again

According to me, wearing colored clothes or choosing not to wear them (on freewill and not to fulfill some age old custom) depends on individuals state of mind. its their decision
I personally am against the customs that expect a widow to stop living freely, giving up on her wishes and dreams and observe a life of mourning. if one wants to on their own freewill, its their choice..but it should be a choice and not forced or followed just because someone said so

and most people on this thread share this view


Having said that, I would be lying if I say that I wasnt surprised at the relative ease (for the lack of a better word) with which Paro has accepted the death of her husband..simpy because of the way i expected her mindset to be..givn the traditional/society bound environment she has grown up in. so i expected her to behave a bit differently

I am not complaining..anybody who lives the way they want to after the loss of their significant other is 👍🏼
but I do wonder it the writers are subconsciously undermining Paro's pain..failing to put it across effective at proper time (and I dont mean her crying) unlike Rudra whose emotions- pain, anger, dilemma, subconscious attraction are put across tad better

It is a joke if someone says things have changed for the better, in this world for women, maybe, superficially, very selectively they have, BUT this society is still far far away from making a signifcant progress in that direction these regressive traditions are not in practice & both the genders stand on level ground, grief, joy & everything that is supposed to be personal is not dictated upon by 'traditions', & the society gets a life & stops bothering about how/what the other person is doing in a situation!The makers better know what they're doing, here, since it is, in fact a sensitive issue!

Originally posted by: NalayakShaitaan

Basantiji: nice post once again

According to me, wearing colored clothes or chosing not to wear them (on freewill and not to fulfill some age old custom) depends on indivials state of mind. its their decision
as a person, I am against the customs that expect a widow to stop living freely, giving up on her wishes and observe a life of mourning. if one wants to on their own freewill, its theor choice..but it should be a choice and not forced or followed just because someone said so

and most people on this thread share this view


Having said that, I would be lying if I say that I wasnt surprised to the relative ease (for the lack of a better word) with which Paro has accepted the death of her husband..simpy because of the way i expected her mindset to be..givn the traditional/society bound environment she has grown up in. so i expected her to behave a bit differently

I am not complaining..anybody who lives the way they want to after the loss of their significant other is 👍🏼
but I do wonder it the writers are subconsciously undermining Paro's pain..failing to put it across effective at proper time (and I dont mean her crying) unlike Rudra whose emotions- pain, anger, dilemma, subconscious attraction are put across tad better

Im on the same page with you on the bolded part. I'd have liked if they spent more time exploring paro's state of mind. I loved some of the scenes when Paro was trying to come to terms with her loss. But I think they decided to move to the existing track for TRPs as a lot of people werent happy watching Paro's helpless state, especially with regards to a man who isnt the so called 'hero' of the show. Well, at least that's what I think.

As someone said we live in the fast food world, audience too seem to expect immediate gratification.

👍🏼

If you expect her to behave like widows of yesteryear then I think we can find many other mistakes in the show (and every show on TV) and then there will be no end.

This is not a realistic show (I hope) and I have signed up for a love story here.

And yes our society has double standards. In urban area widows may not face that much stigma but not sure how it is in rural areas of Rajasthan/Hariyana and many other states. India has become progressive in pockets. So I really cant generalize here.

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Im on the same page with you on the bolded part. I'd have liked if they spent more time exploring paro's state of mind. I loved some of the scenes when Paro was trying to come to terms with her loss. But I think they decided to move to the existing track for TRPs as a lot of people werent happy watching Paro's helpless state, especially with regards to a man who isnt the so called 'hero' of the show. Well, at least that's what I think.

As someone said we live in the fast food world, audience too seem to expect immediate gratification.