WEEKEND TWO
The Reunion
Lamhe…Vele Lamhe…Vele Pal yeh
Idhar Udhar Tehl Rahay…
Sehmein… Sehmein Dil Bhi…Bina Tere…
Mar Jaiyyan Tere Bin…Marijaiyaan Re…
Khanak listened to Shaantanu's voice boom through her stereo for the fifth time in a row. She'd been playing his song nonstop from the moment she laid her tired self down in the cold bedding of her hotel's room. It's where she'd been staying after having that huge fall out with Shaantanu over his misunderstanding involving Sunny. Duks had been the one who had stopped her from heading to Dhulwadi that day when she was ready to leave this city and hurt behind her. She had argued with him until she couldn't anymore and he had promised her that he is not going to tell Shaantanu or anyone else of her whereabouts. Not until it was the right time. The last time she had left it hadn't been a good enough reason and he'd came after her in the middle of the night with Daadi and Sunil's approval. Now she had left him again, but it's a lot more serious this time. She doesn't know that his home life has fallen completely apart with Madhavi and Khushboo Bhabhi's constant "I told you so" statement and looks. She doesn't know that he feels even more betrayed with every passing day…hour…moment.
The feelings that had been building within her were confirmed earlier tonight when she realized that with all the lies and the games and with everything that had happened with Sunny that she was the one to still get hurt. She knew in that moment when he yelled at her so fiercely infront of his friends. He had accused her of something she couldn't even imagine doing to him, it had broken her heart completely.
She listened to his voice, its gloom and its sound. It was completely different from what he usually sings, upbeat and inspiring. As evidenced by all the albums he had done, mainstream pop was usually what got him vocal with his lyrics, but this was completely different in both genre and feel. The lyrics were achingly sad, and it pained her so much yet she still played it over and over again. His music was her favorite. She listened to the words; he had clearly written this song all about them. She loved that, she loved that all his songs were special to him. Each one came from his heart and each one was about something he cared about or liked. He cared about them; he wrote about them, he sang about them. She got it now; his music was a part of them, not just a part of him. That's why for the last eight months that they have been apart living in the same city, she had bought every CD of his every time she saw one at a store, at the mall, or just passing by some random stall on the street where the bridal Boutique she now worked at was located. She had been her self-respecting, stubborn self and insisted on earning to support herself on her own. Duks was the only person who came by to visit her from the other side of the town where people drove in big cars, had big houses, made reservations at the finest Mumbai restaurants, did everything in elite style and class…did everything like her in-laws and husband have been doing all their lives.
Binggg…Bzz…Binggg... "Duks Bha Calling"
She turned the music down and sat up in the lone bed to answer her flashing cell phone
"Hello…"
"Khanak Bhabhi main Hotel se das minute durr hoon…app se milna tha…"
"Sab theek toh hai na Duk Bha…?"
"Umm..main…main mill kar bata ta hoon…"
He had hung up without saying bye.
She walked tentatively up to answer a faint knock on her room's door. Her husband's best friend stood there with Chinese take out boxes in his hand a faint smile. She smiled back and invited him in. She wondered why Duks had called appeared at such an odd timming; it scared her a little bit.
"Sab theek toh hai na Duk Bha...? App iss tarah…?" There had to be something wrong, why else the sudden appearance with food.
Duks noticed the scared tone in her voice. She didn't know what to expect and quite frankly he didn't either. There was something she needed to know about Shaantanu.
"Khanak Bhabhi pehlay kuch kah lay, phir araam se baat kartay hain." He looked up at her while settling the boxes and plastic cutlery on the small wooden table. She remembers her husband teaching her how to eat with chopsticks exactly like the ones Duks is holding in his hands.
"Jee..." She said with a small smile and sat down on the chair across from Duks. They ate in silence. She used the plastic cutlery instead of the chopsticks.
"Shaan ja raha." The words left Duks's mouth and her suspicions were confirmed. Something had happened, she just knew. "Hameesha ke liye shayad..." Her heart broke in little pieces. The man she loved had resorted again to walking away, running away. Every time things seemed like they might get better with him they never got better they just got worse. It was so unfair to him…to her...to them. She thought leaving him would have at least given him his space and he would keep his focus on his music. Shaantanu was a talented, a natural at what he did; He had earned a name for himself through his music and despite everything she is proud of his accomplishments.
Duks could see the concern on her face. He could see her eyes questioning, sad, for her husband. He could see that she genuinely cared…still cared. He knew that because even his best friend, her husband also cared…still cared. The two of them surprised him a little each time he looked into their eyes and saw concern, attention, care…it probably surprised him because it was so rare for him to see two people be so torn apart yet still sewn to each other at their hearts.
"Ghar mein sab kuch badal gaya hai Khanak Bhabhi…voh yahaan iss tarah nahi reh sakta…"
"Aaada ne kuch kaha kya…?"
"Voh toh kuch kehtay per Madhavi Aunty…App jaanti hain ke voh app ke baaray mein kabhi kuch galt nahi sunn sakta…"
"Pata nahi…pehlay jaanti thi per abb…"
"Itnay mahinaay hogaaye…app…"
"Bha app ne vaada kiya tha…"
"Jaanta hoon aur issi liye aaya hoon yahaan…Appko Bhabhi sirf kaha nahi samjha bhi hai…Aur Shaan ko toh hameesha Bahi he samjha hai…lakin iss rishte ko yun bhikra hua nahi dekh sakta…aur ajj jo dekha ussay baad…"
"Dekha…? App ne kya dekha…??" Khanak questioned worried.
"Voh pehlay vaala Shaan nahi raha Khanak Bhabhi…humaray saath bethay huye bhi saath nahi hota…abb toh uss kay ghussay aur junoon ne bhi uss ka saath chod diya hai…haar gaya hai voh apnay app se…"
Duks words pained her, she felt and knew what he was going through, she always did. Her eyes burned with moisture.
"Ussay sab kuch chod ke jaanay ne sirf app rok sakti hai Khanak Bhabhi…iss waqt kissi bhi zidd aur puraani galtiyoon se zayaada Shaan aur app ka rishta hai…main app dono ke pyaar ko kabhi nahi samajh sakta kyunki khud abhi tak pyaar nahi kiya…lakin itna jaanta hoon ke meray dost ko sub se zayaada zaroorat app ki hai…sirf app ki…"
"Kab ja rahay hai…?"
"Kal shaam saath bajay ki flight hai…London ja raha hai…"
"Studio nahi aagye gay kal…?"
"Ayega…Sam aur mujh se millay bina nahi jaayega…"
"Aur Rahul…?"
"Jo kuch hua uss ke baad Rahul ne Shaan ko sab kuch bata diya tha…usskay baad Shaan ne kabhi Rahul ke baaray kuch nahi kaha…Rahul ki company se contract bhi khatam kar diya…Sam aur Rahul ke beech bhi bahut kuch badal gaya hai…"
She sat there in silence. Duks observed her for sometime before he reaches out to the empty take out boxes and picks them up from the table.
"Khanak Bhabhi main abb chalta hoon…kuch bhi galat keh diya hoon toh…."
"Nahi Duk Bha app ne kuch galat nahi kaha…Dinner ke liye thanks…"
"Hmm… khayaal rakhiyaay ga apna…"
"Jee…"
She walks Duks to the door and shuts it close when he steps out in the empty hallway of the hotel. Her body resembles her sinking heart against the door and her tears flow out like a lost river trying to find its shore. She misses him.
…………………
He is almost done packing his belongings in his charcoal grey luggage piece when he feels something in the inside zipper. He searches it out and what he finds makes his facial creases more visible...he sighs…it's her picture from their Honeymoon…her playing in the waves like she controlled them…dressed in faded Capri and puffed sleeved white blouse…
His fingers traced the photo frame and he looks at it with longing for a few minutes… the sound of his buzzing cell phone alert him and he places the photo back in his luggage as he answers the call.
"Yeah Sam…nahi main bas packing finish kar raha tha…Hmm…30 minutes mein Studio araha hoon…okay…see you then…"
He walks in through the studio doors, dodging the reporters and paparazzi at the entrance. His aviators used to be enough at one point to keep his cover but his baseball cap is starting to become a necessity as well.
"Good Morning Sir…"
"Hi…has anyone…"
"In your Studio Sir…"
"Thanks…"
He expresses his gratitude to a familiar face that dealt with public relations and such. He'd never paid enough attention to learn her name. It's almost as if he was incapable of even trying anymore.
His baseball cap flung from his hand to the wooden counter above which his guitar and several other musical instruments were hanging. It's the first thing on would see while entering the Studio. There is a recording box at the left made out of sound proof glass.
"Lights toh on kar leti Sam…" He says flipping on the switches himself in the dark studio.
The lights reveal what he wasn't expecting at all. Her petite form that he feared of forgetting. Those pretty, dark eyes that he would lose himself to. Her delicate hands adorning kangangs that Daadi that given him to place in her hands. Her distinct lovely scent that always gave away her presence. It all came back in that one instant that left his heart questioning his mind of her existence. Was she really in her sight…? He needed to sit.
She sat next to him on the edge of the Studio's stage folding one leg behind her and placing her hand on his thigh. At her touch he lost what he was going to say for a moment, her tiny little hand was stretched out and placed gently on his thigh letting him know she was reality…she is here. He could feel her hand through his jeans; he could feel the searing heat of her touch through the fabric. It was as if she was branding him with her console, but it was a good feeling, a nice feeling, a feeling he'd missed way too much. A feeling he would always need in his life, something he had been living without painfully for so long.
"Itnay din kahaan thi Khanak…? Mujhe se durr itnay din kaisay zinda rahi tum…?" He questioned looking in space of the empty Studio. She still had her eyes on him.
"Jo gaa rahay thay app uss he ke saharay jee rahi thi…issi intezaar mein ke aik din kabhi app mujhe dhoond lay gay…"
"Mujhe laga tum Dhulwadi mein hoon…vahaan gaya tha per tum vahaan nahi thi…tumharay Bai aur Aada ko preshaan karna theek nahi laga toh bahaana kar ke vaapis aagaaya…"
"Aur abb…? Abb kyun ja rahay hain yeh sub chod ke…apna music…dost…parivaar…"
"Inn sab cheezoon mein sirf music mera apna hai Khanak…aur kuch bhi nahi…"
"Aada ki kuansi baat per ghussa hai Shaantanu….? Aisa bhi kya keh diya Mummyji ne jo app yeh sab chod kar ja rahay hai….?"
"Dad ne toh kuch kehna he chod diya hai mujhse… aur Mom jo kehti hai voh sunay ki bardaasht abb khatam hogaye hai…"
"Aur aggar ajj main app ko kaho na jaanay ko…kya app meray liye ruk jaaye gay…?
Only she was capable of making his absolute decisions seem uncertain just like that. Only for her would he lay his heart out, open it up completely to her with no inhibitions. Giving in to everything that she wanted out of him, only she brought that kind of effect.
Only he was capable of saying the sweetest words to her. He was the only one who would lay his heart out like that for her. Only he trusted her like that. Only he was totally and completely honest with her and revealed to her his heart. It made her feel special. It made her feel like she was important, like she was needed. He needed her; he needed her in his life. If only he knew how much she needed him, how much she needed him to need her. He could always depend on her. He'd messed up and He'd learned his lesson. She wasn't going to leave him anymore, not ever again.
Both of them needed each other now for the rest of their lives. They were independent and had their own things to do, he his music and she her designing but even still they were in an entirely co-dependent relationship in an entirely vital way. They needed each other to survive. They needed each other to be there just to listen. She would always listen. She would always be there. She would never leave again. Ever.
"App aggar ziddi Maha Purash hai toh main bhi app ki Patni hoon," she laughed. And that was all he needed to hear to know it was true and to believe in it. "Na main abb kahi jaaogi…aur na app ko jaanay doongi…" She assured him anyways.
She was enjoying this moment with him. It was a little sad, because she could tell he was a little sad, but she needed to ask him this now or never, she needed to know. No matter what the answer was she needed to know and clear it up in her mind. She hoped it wouldn't backfire on her.
"App ne uss din jo kuch kaha, kya sach mein app ka bharoosa mujh per se uth gaya hai Shaantanu?"
He looked at her intently wishing she hadn't asked him that. He could see the worry in her face. He could see the fear in her eyes. He felt as sad for her in that moment as she probably felt for him for giving up everything he cared for in his life. People kept screwing with him and he was so brave and enduring in trying his best to keep at least a few of his genuine relationships intact. Sunil and Akshay were there for him but their business and work related kept them occupied. Daadi was the only one who consoled him when she'd find him alone in his room. He hadn't even gone in to his own room which was their bedroom ever since. He just couldn't bear the burden of the things in it. They all reminded him of her…the bed, the dresser, the windows, the wardrobe, the luxury bathroom with his and her sink, and everything else. Even the certain areas in the house where he'd often find her reminded him of her. After finding the whole truth from Rahul he had been guilty on all accounts and hated himself for every word he had said to her that night. She had been hurt enough. He'd rather die than hurt her more. He never wanted to see his Khanak, his wife hurt.
"Nahi, jo bharoosa main tum per pehlay karta tha voh bharoosa tha he nahi Khanak…aik aadat thi…lakin abb khud se zayaada yakeen…khud se zayaada bharoosa hai mujhe tum per…" he tried to say it with as confident a voice as he could. It was true what they said, you learned in pain. He had learned a lot. But right now his brain was stuck on kissing her and he instinctively leaned in. He gingerly placed his lips over hers and pressed gently and softly. He couldn't rush this; he didn't want to rush this. He hadn't kissed her since that night in the rain when he had met her at the gate, dressed in red. It had been way too long. The Goosebumps ran down both of their backs, it caused the hairs on the back of Shaantanu's neck to stick up, it caused her to involuntary, slowly let go. That kiss was heaven, that kiss was tender, it was the touch of the man she loved. It was the realization that they had missed out on so much. Bittersweet bliss.
"App ke saaray gaano ki copyrights mujhe chahiyaay…" She kept her eyes closed a second longer. He looked at her and surprised himself at the bit of relief his heart felt. It made him happy to have her to himself as his wife. "App puri duniya ko iss tarah humari baatein bilqual nahi bata...sorry, gaa kar suna nahi sakte," she smiled a flirty smile and he swore he fell in love with her all over again. She grabbed his chin; "Maha Purash ke secrets bhi hotay hai!" He smiled shyly at her. She dipped her head to his shoulder, not wanting to leave, but feeling the conversation probably dwindling down to an end. "Aur abb app London jaaye gay toh meray saath, varna nahi." She squeezed her hand a little on his thigh leaning in to place a soft kiss on his cheek. His cheek that looked so well defined with this new haircut of his. He had such great features, she loved him so much. It hurts her to have to leave as she needed to get back to wind things up and come right back to him, but she was grateful nonetheless for these moments, for that kiss...
She moved away from him and reluctantly headed for the door. She was the sexiest little thing and she didn't even know it. Walking away from him with a little swing to her hips, her churidaar formfitting, her odhani neatly placed around her neck, different from so many other girls. She was always different, she was always better, she would be his forever. He wasn't going to let her walk out that door. He'd never let her leave again. How could he? With one kiss his whole body heated up, with one soft peck on the cheek his sensations were altered. With one stare, one smile, his knees went week. She thrilled him. She was his everything. His solid rock. The one he could depend on. The one he didn't want to have to call anymore, because she was going to be right there with him. So in a way it amused him that she was heading for the door, if only she knew what he was thinking.
"Khanak...
Her heart stopped. She had wanted him to stop her somehow. To say something else, any extra word just so she could hear his voice a little longer, just so she could stay a little longer. "Jee?" Oh please let it be something she wanted to hear. She wasn't sure of what he was going to say. He was more than sure…his voice was calm, poised, soothing, "Main abhi saath aa sakta hoon tumharay…" It wasn't a question it wasn't a statement, it was just truth, it was what she wanted to hear. "Aik Rockstar meray saath chalay ga toh I'd be honored…!"
He smiled at the vulnerability in her voice, at the relief on her face. He was making her happy. He loved to make her happy.
"Vaisay hum ja kahaan rahay hain…?"