FF: Partial Amnesia Pt 31Pg145-6th Dec - Page 16

Originally posted by: tofeees

Guys i've been quite busy with eid pehlay and my friend's wedding coming up next week but i'll try to update tomorrow or day after :) love you all <3

Originally posted by: -mesmerised-

FINALLY got round to reading the latest update, and it was defo worth the wait! ❤️

Loved the Shanak conversation in which Khanak is feeling something towards Shaan but can't quite place what it is! Like that you incorprated the mandir scene in the conversation too... awesome scene! 👍🏼

When she feels like a part of her is missing is so sad... she'll be devastated when she finds out what that is due to!

Eeeks Shaan's gonna teach her English again?! Can't wait for the return of the pathshala! ❤️

P.S. You sounded like you knew your stuff during Mittul's convo to the family... impressive! 😊

26th October 2011, 11:00

Khanak flinched in pain, her hands jumping to press her stomach as the car skidded a bit after it ran over a random Pepsi can on the road. Immediately Shaan looked up in the rear view mirror to see if Khanak was okay. He was driving and Sunil was sitting beside him. Khanak, her Bai and Madhvi were sitting at the back seat, Khanak in the middle. "Khhh---" Shaan started, immediately slowing the car even more than it was, but Sunil stopped him and shook his head seriously which Shaan took to understand that he was to just shut up and drive. But he could not concentrate on his driving. He kept looking to check Khanak, and seeing her in pain made his face twist sadly and agitatedly. How was he to stay away from her, he wondered for the millionth time as he swerved the steering slowly. How was he to not hug her, to not grieve with her for the loss of their baby, to not take care of her, to not nurse her back to health? It was impossible. Suddenly he became a little less confident than he was a day ago when he had seen some part of Khanak's eyes show love for him. But as he parked, got out of the car and attempted to help Khanak get out too, the ugly look that Khanak gave him moving her hand away from him, was enough to tell him that he had imagined that look in the hospital that day. It made him solemn and restless again. 'Focus Shaan, FOCUS', he said to himself. 'You need to be patient' he kept saying, knowing that he could not be; not with his love for Khanak.

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26^th October 22:00

Khanak lay on a bed, her eyes drooping as she saw her mother take out sheets from the cupboard. She saw Madhvi and Khushboo walk in and her eyes opened up a little, then shut them again. She pretended to sleep. Numbly, she registered the three women bustling around in the room. Madhvi and Khushboo looked at Khanak, and both took intakes of breath together, as though trying to be calm and composed about what had happened a week ago that had changed their lives.

' Try to be very calm, nonchalant when you guys are around bhabhi. Don't overdo the love, don't be too emotional. A great show of emotions is not good for her aunty jee" Dr. Mitul had told Madhvi. Madhvi, who as it was quite prim and proper and hardly displayed her softer and emotional side, related to what Dr. Mitul said immediately. Khushboo, on the other hand had thrown a fit and dramatically said "So am I supposed to pretend I hate her ----like I used to?!!" to which Dr. Mitul had said calmly "Didi I thought I just told you that a great show of emotions is not good for bhabhi!!" Khushboo had looked sheepish, looked down and said "Oh!"

"Khanak kay kapray yahan hain----" Madhvi said pointing to the cupboard, coming out of her musings. "Mainay saaf towels yahan rakhay hain---" she pointed to another section in the cupboard.

"---Aur aunty yay bhagwan jee ki murti main yahan laga rahi hoon----" Khushboo said pointing to a stand in the far corner of the room. "Khanak ko yaheen ache lagay gee-----" she said smiling. Khanak felt suddenly warm. She felt Madhvi and Khusboo walking around the room for ten more minutes, listening to all the instructions they gave her mother.

"Agar aapko aur kisi cheez ki zaroorat ho toh mujhay batayay-----khud muth kariyay ga-----" Madhvi said, looked at Khanak and whispered. "Aur Khanak ko----Khanak ka----mera mutlub hain------"her voice begun to crack a bit

"Mom, lets go----" Khushboo said holding her hand and looking at her seriously. They turned to see Shaan standing at the doorway, looking at his sleeping Khanak, with hands folded, his face expressionless after days. Khushboo walked over to him and kept his hand on his shoulder and swiftly turned him away from Khanak's room. He obeyed Khushboo's touch as though he was a puppet, molding himself to what his master wanted him to be. Khushboo held his palm with hers and took him to the door of his room silently; the room which now belonged only to him. When Khushboo turned away from him, she noticed sadly that the back of her palm was wet.

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5^th November 2011, 23:30

Khanak's sedative sessions restarted. It was the only way to ease the pain and make her feel as though she had nothing to care about in the world. They continued for a week until Dr.Geeta advised them to stop, quoting that they may have negative side effects on her reproductive system. Shaan had taken to be eerily quiet during this entire time. Seeing his wife unconscious for most of the day, lying in bed was something he was not used to, even when she had been pregnant. And when Shaan would protest at her being in the kitchen all the time her rant of "Dhulwadi main toh aurateinn pregnancy main kunway (well) say itnayyy ( raising both her hands in the air) saray matkay bharti hain!" would begin to which Shaan would turn a deaf ear (and sometimes actually put his fingers in his ears blocking the noise) and walk away from the kitchen.

Every night when he was sure Khanak was completely drugged to wake up, he would go into her room and sit with her just looking at her for hours. He would move away strands of hair from her face, hold her hand lightly, touch her stomach slightly but move his fingers away immediately as though he'd received an electric shock, then just keep looking at her, hoping that just the intensity of his stare would make her wake up and hug him like she did every night before she went to sleep. He smiled reminiscently as he recalled that time in the 'Shanak ka Dhaba' when he had cooked for her and demanded that all his cooking for her had come for a price. " Soup kay liyay EK hug aur EK kiss-----Starters kay liyay DOH hugs aur DOH kisses----aur Meethay ki keemat toh tum jaanti hee ho!" he had said smiling naughtily. And as the memory of that kiss that had followed just before they had had their dinner engulfed Shaan, he hardly noticed that he was pressing Khanak's hand lovingly. Khanak woke up with a start and looked at Shaan in the light of the dim lamp. Shaan immediately withdrew his hand from Khanak's.

"Tum?!!" Khanak said loudly, anger etched on every line of her face. "Bai!! Baii?! Baiii!" she yelled frantically as Shaan looked at her quite calmly. It further unnerved her. "Bai!" she yelled again and Khanaks mother came rushing into the room. "Bai! Yay yahan kya kar raha hain!? Aapnay isko andar kaisay anay diya?!

"Betaaa" Bai went over to sit beside Khanak and Shaan stood up. Khanak kept staring at him in anger. "Betaa yay tumhara pati hain!"

"Yay meray pati nahi hain!" Khanak yelled, Shaan's calm and composed look annoying her to no end. Why wasn't he getting affected by her hatred? She thought. Was she not doing it properly? How ridiculous, she thought. Hatred should come naturally, she answered herself. You're not supposed to 'do' it. The truth of the statement made her further agitated and she yelled again in frustration. "Main inko apna pati nahi maanti." Her eyes now bore into Shaan's calm ones. "Yayyy meray pati kay kaatil hain!" she added and begun to cry. She didn't even know why she was crying. Because she was missing Suraj or because of her annoyance that she could have no effect on the man standing in front of him. As much as she hated to admit it, it was the second reason. And it was staring at her in the face. Shaan continued to look at her calmly, his hands folded.

Khanak got up from her bed, and stood to face Shaan. Shaan was not surprised at all. Whenever they had fought or argued about silly things, Khanak would make sure that she was facing him and she would always raise her index finger in his face and continue to yell at him silly. Shaan used to love it when she did that because even though she was so short and he practically towered over her during their duel of words, she would always feel that she had the upper hand just because she showed him the index finger. He used to also, at this time, feel thankful that she didn't know what holding up the middle finger meant.

And sure enough Shaan got what he wanted as Khanak raised her finger in front of his face, and said "Main tumharay saath kaisay hun, kyun hun yay main nahi jaanti aur main jaanna bhee nahi chahtii! Main buss itna jaanti hunk ay main iss ghar main nahi rah sakti! -------aur tumharay saath toh bilkul nahi! Samajh gayay tum?! " Her finger was so close to Shaan's face it almost touched his long nose. "Mujahy tum say ALAG hona hain!" she added, her eyes menacing.

Shaan unfolded his hands, gave her a small smile, raised his finger in her face too, then suddenly touched her finger before she could protest and pushed it down. Khanak looked at him blankly as her brain gave her flash backs of this happening with her before. She stared in space blankly, her eyes going out of focus, and thought. Must've been with Suraj, she thought dismissively, her eyes flashing back to Shaan's as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Madam yay tumhara Dhulwadi nahi hain-----jahan ek Sarpanch jee nay hokum day diya kay alag hona hain-----toh ALAG hojao gee! Yay Mumbai hain!--------" he continued calmly. "Yahan Lawyers hotay hain-----wakeeel----jo aisay mamlay solve kartay hain-----" and as he said it he realized what the heck he was saying. He had been so happy to get Khanak talking to him again, having that effect on her again that he had had in the hospital that he had not realized that he was actually giving Khanak ideas to get separated from him! If Khanak had had her memory, she would have at this point giving him a whack on his head and calling him 'Burthal'! But then if she had her memory she would not have been saying this too, he reflected.

"Theek hain!" Khanak said, moving back a little even though her heart, for some reason told her to continue arguing with him. It had made her feel 'at home'? the argument she was having with him. Urghhh no way! She was not 'at home' where he was concerned in any sense of the way. "Theek hain. Mujhay tumharay Mumbai kay Wakeel say milna hain! Ek he dafa iss sub ko khatum karna hain! Mujhay nahi pata kay pichlay Ek saal say main tumharay saath kiss majboori may rah rahee thee------aur tum nay mujhay kyun rakha tha-------laikin ub nahii-----ub main tum say alug hona chahtee hoon-------" she said loudly.

"Khanak!" Bai interrupted "Yay tum kya bole rahi hon beta-----yay addmi-------"

"Nahi Bai----Aap pleeje kuch muth kahay----aapnay meri shaadi iss admi say paiso kay liyay kee na? Itna gir gayay thay aap aur ada?" she asked her mother sadly.

"Nahi beta aisa nahi hain-----"

"Aisa hee hain Bai! Yay humay bees lakh rupay denay wala tha----" she said slowly.

Shaan heaved a huge sigh. There it came again. His money being slapped into his face again. And by the same woman. He wondered what else would be slapped in his face till Khanak got her memory back. She remembered nothing. It was now time to tell her. Time to tell her why she had married him. But before he could open his mouth to speak, Khanak had opened hers again.

"Bai appko meri kasam! ------Kal aap uncle jee say kahay gee kay ek wakeel layay------taakay main iss jhootay rishtay say mukt ho jaoon! Aapko meri kasam Bai! " she said looking at her and finally hardening her eyes as she looked at Shaan. "Chalay jao yahan say-------" her voice cracked as though she uttered every word with difficulty, as though it took all her will power to say them but she had to say them because that is what her mind was telling her to say.

Shaan gulped slightly and pursed his lips. He left the room, again unaware of where his feet were taking him, his numbness palpable. When he was finally brought back to earth, he saw himself at the alcohol bar, pouring himself some whisky and ordering Hari Lal to get ice.

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6^th November 2011 01:15

Khanak wept silently as she tried to sleep and yet again did not know why her heart bled.

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6^th November 2011 03:15

Bai gathered her clothes and begun to pack while Khanak was asleep, making up her mind that come what may she was not going to let her daughter's marriage get destroyed again.

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6^th November 2011 03:30

Sunil placed a hand on a semi drunk Shaan's shoulder, who looked up at his dad, his eyes groggy, because of the liquor or the weeping, he wasn't too sure.

"Shaan. Beta yay kya hain?" he asked his son.

Shaan snorted with sarcastic laughter. "Whisky!" he said raising a glass. "So the only nagging woman who'd stop me from having this beauty--------" he raised his glass and shook it, the ice tinkling. "------doesn't even CARE now if I have it! So I thought lets make the most of it while it lasts!" he looked up at his dad smiling. "Good idea na dad?"

Sunil took the glass from Shaan's hand and placed it on the table. "What's the problem Shaan?" he asked understandingly and Shaan's head fell on the bar. He turned it and looked at his dad. He snorted again.

"She wants a lawyer! " he laughed mockingly, turning a bit hysterical. "A lawyer! Imagine!" he sniggered. "She wants a lawyer who can separate us!US! Me and Khanak! ME the Mahapurush gets separated from Khanak the Jhansi ki Raani" he laughed hysterically again. "Doesn't sound too right, does it Dad?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"No" Sunil said

"See!!"" Shaan said loudly hitting his hand on the counter. "THAT is exactly what I wanted to tell her! That we can't separate! We're like the bomb together! We're ShaNak! Get it dad? Shaan and Khanak? SHA-NAK" he said and laughed again.

"So why didn't you tell her?" Sunil asked quietly.

"Because------because-----because-------she wanted a lawyer!" he finished trying to sound dramatic but ending lamely.

"So what's the problem in that? We'll get a lawyer!" Sunil said. "We'll get one tomorrow"

"Dad! Did you not get me?" he said picking up the glass of whisky again. "She wants to get separated from me-----Khanak wants to leave Shaan----" he said raising two fingers, keeping the glass down again. "So if Khanak---" he raised one finger "gets separated from Shaan" he raised the second finger " there will be no ShaNak-------just SHA and NAK? " he said looking at both fingers sadly.

"Shaan jao kamray main so jao! Subah baat kartay hain-------" Sunil said getting hold of Shaan and making him stand up. He supported his son to his room, made him lie down on his bed and came out. "Time to make some important calls" he sighed taking his phone out of his pocket.

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