-Shanak SS- Banwra Mann Final Pg 16 - Page 3

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saaaz thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#21
Her smile does not reach her eyes'again, he thinks.
--------------
Part II
Khanak: Aap yahan kaise? Kuch chahiye tha?
Shaan: Main yahan kaise ka kya matlab,,,main apni patni ki madat karne nahin aa sakta??
Khanak: KYA? Madat?? Aur Aap? Aap ko ho kya gaya hai? Rehne dijiye, Hari bha hai, woh kar lenge

Shaan watched Harilal leave the kitchen with the tray and a snigger'

Shaan: Kya yaar Khanak,,, tum mujhe sab ke saamne kaise daant deti ho,,,,??
Khanak: (with a small smile) Maine aisa kya keh diya?,,,,,(and turns to wash her hands)
Shaan: (holds her from behind) Mujhe to ab tumhara yeh datna aadat si ho gayee hai,,,,
Khanak: (smiles pointing her finger) tho main aur bhi daant sakti hoon,,hai na???,,,,
Shaan: (turns her around) Tum mere saath kuch bhi kar sakti ho,,,aur mujhe kuch bhi keh sakti ho,,,,
Khanak suddenly becomes quite..and looks at him and says'"Shantanu, main aapse'"
Only to be stopped by Harilal's voice telling them that Sunil is asking for them at the breakfast table. They join everyone at the breakfast table. Shaan is watching Khanak serve everyone,,,, thinks this is where she is supposed to be,,, by my side,,,, in this house,,, with all of us,,,this is how it was meant to be,,,. Akki shakes him and says'
Akki: Chote, main kuch pooch raha hoon.,,'Kya ho gaya hai tumhe??
Shaan: Haan,,,,?? kuch nahin!
Akki: Tere chehre pe bara kyun baje hai?
Shaan (looking at Khanak sitting next to his dad): Kuch nahin,,,
Akki: Is everything okay? Dekh I know Dad ne tujhe bahut sunaya tere music ke bare mein,,, but don' t worry okay,,,
Shaan: Nahin bhaiya,,, woh baat nahin hai,,,
Just as Akshay is about to delve further, Khusboo asks him if she can borrow the car,,,she needs to meet a friend,,she says. Akshay,,,never one to refuse his wife,,,turns to Shaan and Shaan nods that he will drop Akshay on his way to the studio. Sunil is visiting the site and needs Dharam to drive him. Shaan looks up for Khanak who after instructing Harilal is now on the phone,,, he waves and blows her a kiss,,,, she has a small smile and waves back,,, she seems preoccupied,,,he thinks and watches his brother get his tie tightened by bhabhi, smiles thinking it has been awhile since he and his brother have chatted,,,, finally someone to take his load off,,,
Akshay (driving): KYA????KYA???? Humshakal???? Are you serious????
Shaan: Please bhaiya, isiliye main keh raha tha, ki main drive karoonga
Aki: Arrey jab tum ne kahan, ki you have something important to discuss, maine socha ki Dad ke bare mein hai,,,aur tu drive karte karte utavala na ho jaaye.,,,Anyways,,,,Khanak ka kya reaction tha???
Shaan: Maine abhi tak usse kuch kaha nahin.
Akki: KYA??? What is wrong with you, Chote??
Shaan: Pata nahin,,, Bhaiya,,, Main khud completely deal nahin kar paa raha hoon,,,,Khanak ka kya haal hoga,,,mujhe pata nahin,,,and Bhaiya,,,mere mann mei ek darr sa baith gaya hai,,,,
Akki: Darr? Kaisa darr?
Shaan: Pata nahin,,,bhaiya,,,pata nahin kya hai,,,,
Akki looks over at his brother and not for the first time feels for his kid brother's helplessness, only this time, he assures himself and Shaan that he will be there for him.
Madhavi while texting Mrs. Sharma, from the corner of her eye can see Khanak nervously walking up and down in the bedroom with a phone in her hand. She wonders what is wrong with this KFD and goes back to texting and without realizing looks up to see KFD sitting by the window and sobbing uncontrollably. Now what is wrong with her? She thinks and enters the bedroom'
Madhavi: Khanak, yeh tumhe kya ho gaya hai?
Khanak: (hurriedly wiping her tears and standing): Kuch nahin Mummy ji
Madhavi: Arrey,, aise baithke ro rahee thee,,, aur ab keh rahee ho kuch nahin,,,, mujhe kya pagal samajh rahi ho
Khanak: Nahin Mummyjee,,, main bas,,,. and she breaks down sitting on the window bench,,,
Madhavi : Kya hua hain tumhe???...
and walks forward and places her free hand over Khanak's shoulder and Khanak breaks down holding her ,,,, Madhavi tries to hug Khanak, but cannot,,,, her phone is in her other hand,,,, and what if Mrs. Sharma calls.
The phone does ring, but its Khanak's,,, Madhavi steps away,,, leaves Khanak to attend it,,,.
Khanak: Hello, Sam??? Main kabse tumhe phone lagaa rahee hoon
SHaan: Phone tho tumhe sirf mujhe lagaana chahiye
Khanak: Aap?? (smiling through her tears)
Shaan: Khanak,,(getting off the chair he was seated on),, tum theek tho ho??? Kya baat hai??
Khanak: Nahin kuch nahin,, aap bataiye,, kaise phone kiya? (wipes her tears and says a little prayer)
Shaan: Bus, aise hi,,(scratching the chair he was sitting on),, Kya kar rahi thi? Aur Sam ka phone ka intezaar kyun ho raha tha??
Khanak: Kuch nahin,,,,Aap ko phone karne ki fursat kahaan se mili??
Shaan: Arrey apni biwi ke saath baatein karne ke liye mere paas fursat hi fursat hai,,
Khanak: Acha,,, baatein ya daant,,, (smiling with tears in her eyes)
Shaan: Arrey,,,,sab kuch,,,,tum kuch kaho tho sahi,,,
Khanak: Shaantanu,,,,mai aapse bahut pyaar karti hoon,,,,
Shaan: (closing his eyes lest his emotions get the better of him, but they do): Khanak'.main tumhare bina kuch bhi nahin,,,,
Khanak: Acha, tho bina bataaye subah kyun chale gaye? Upar se aapne theek se naashta bhi nahin kiya ,,
Shaan: Woh isiliye taaki tumhari yeh daant se bach sakoo'(with a small smile)..,,.Abhi jao,,,,mujhe bahut kaam hai,,,kitni bolti ho tum
Khanak: Arrey wah!! Phone aapne kiya aur'jaiye main aapse baat nahin karti'..
Khanak disconnects the phone with a smile in her eyes and heart,,,. Her phone call to Sam can wait.
Shaan cannot wait to get back home. He just cannot,,, his yearning for his wife overtakes his love for her,,, his wanting to be for her, by her, inspires him,,,,how can the heart be so foolish and restless he thinks,,,,,he sits to work on his new song,,,, wanting to complete it before he leaves for home where his heart is'
Khanak cannot get over the fact that Sam has actually brought Sunny home,,,, what if someone at home sees him,,,,what is wrong with this girl,,,Khanak thinks,,,waise tho sheher ki ladkiyaan phone karke hi kissi ke ghar jaate hain,,,,pata nahin yeh Sam ki ajeeb aur gareeb harkatein ka main kya karoon,,,,her thoughts are running amuck,,,, well, there is sometime before everyone returns home,,,,,she cannot understand or even care to hear a single word Sam is saying and suddenly the door opens and Shaan enters whistling his tune, yelling her name'..

-----

Review mandatory....
Edited by saaaz - 14 years ago
-YasharanArshi- thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#22
Saaz .. great track .. CVs kuch ideas lelo from this gurl !!!!

Loved AKKi/Shaan convo ... CVs should have used AKKI for this rather than the pirates act !!!!!
It would have added the brotherhood punch !!!!!!!!!!!

Khanak - awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww so heart-wrenching 😭
-Manita- thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
#23
Awesome update saaz dear.....
I was lost reading the dialogues and could actually imagine Shanak....
twas so touching
loved the way they communicated between the lines,.......
plzz update soon.....!!
-SYS- thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#24
Love:
The nok-jhok
The brothers bonding! I miss the 'Chote' by Akshay! ='(
Hehe Madhavi and her uncomfortable position
How Shaan makes Khanak forget everything else and fight it out with him

Hahah-Hari bha tou aaj kal forum pe chaa gaye hain!

Looking forward to some brilliant clashing, confusing emotions!RBO mein nahi, yahin sahi.
Thank you!

snehapatro thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#25
hey saaz awsome dear......shanak convo is tooooooo gudddddd specially phone convo.......and loved akshay-shaan convo.....haha madhavi KFD se baat karne agayi....haha i think she got free time frm her busy schedule.......😆....well written by u saaz.......and yaaa sam yeh toh tumhari SS mai bhi stupid dimaag hai jaise ki RBO mai...😆
waiting for the next update.........😃
shanakrocks1 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#26
fabulous update....hope aisa hamare cvs bhi sochate.....madhavi-akki-boo all were good....always wanted family to support shaan....but hope aisa hamare cvs bhi sochate........koi baat anhi tumahari ff ne kasar puri kar di.....
iluvmanar thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#27
o god...waiting 4 a jhatka....koi baat nei saaz..tu bhi hume jhtaka de...waise bhi CVs r being expert on this...😆
destinylove thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#28
saaz tht ws really very good yaar
Got to hear KFD after two plus weeks( last time when there was double dose of yashu) and loved shanak communication.
.really well done.
kubare thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 14 years ago
#29
Saaz darling now that was quick...I requested a part and you delivered...if only CV's were that great and understanding...😆😆😆
Saaz dear you are giving us all that the CV's should and could have given us ...with this Sunny track...but instead ...we are getting..???? Only they know really....😕😆
Loved loved Akkii -Shaan bounding...miss that soooo much😭😃...they could have shown this on the show too...instead we have Shaan share this with Sam..his so called friend who was missing since 5 yrs...would have been good even if they showed him share this with Nattie (Natasha on the phone)
Loved you showing Madzs concern for KFD...😆😆 Coud so see it...😆
Loved loved the Nok-Jhok....God thats what we all are missing the most in the show...their nok-jhok..the USP of Shanak in the true sense...even in serious mood, naughty,or akward situatations this was one thing about them that was so adorable and constant..miss that....
Loved the way you had him think about her through his work, the phone call and loved how you have dealt with his insecurities too
And best of all loved them meeting Sunny at home...on their turf...together...
Can't wait for the next part from you soon.😃
aditee thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#30
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BAWRA MANN?
REALLY?
BAWRA MANN?
Are you sure its Bawra Mann?
Bawra Mann dekhne chala ik sapnaa..................
I gotta go listen to it on YT (DOC D THANK YOU FOR THIS)
I am bawri ho rahi hoon
WHAT A BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTFUL SONG
Yaar ab mujhe tera FF kabhi nahi bhoolega
Lovely again!
The next part better be 23-24.5 pages long
I MEAN it!
I love it when he "yearns" for her
I simply looooooove it
It makes the "macho, handsome, hot, shaandar" shaan weak in his knees
I LOVE IT
Kisko pata tha, this gaon ki gori wud make him go so giddy
This show is what fairytales are made of ...........TRULY!

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