I am an Indian girl. - Page 2

Originally posted by: samirah23

But, whose culture is this?

Looking back at history, there were several groups of people who did not dress in what we today think are traditional or decent dress. What about in parts of South India where women who were not the most upper castes went topless? This was not considered indecent at the time. It was part of the culture. And, it's only when the missionaries came to these areas that they deemed this indecent.

And, what is the limit of decency? What if I said for me (a Muslim), for a woman not to wear sleeves or cover her shoulders is indecent, to have a neckline of a dress not to be at your neck and to reveal chest is indecent, etc.. Yet, it's very accepted today by many girls that they wear sleeveless outfits with the back or the front cut lower than at the neck. So, is my sense of decency Indian, or is yours?

What we need to remember is that everyone has a different sense of what is acceptable. I cannot condemn someone for dressing differently than what I would call decency. They have to decide what is right for them. And, for Rakhi to feel comfortable in a western dress with the back gone or whatever does not take away from the fact that she is indeed an Indian girl.

It's nice to debate this - I feel great that everyone is standing up for their Indian-ness. But, in the process of doing so, I do not feel we have a right to judge Rakhi. We do not know her intentions and can only make assumptions.

Originally posted by: samirah23

But, whose culture is this? The culture of India

Looking back at history, there were several groups of people who did not dress in what we today think are traditional or decent dress. What about in parts of South India where women who were not the most upper castes went topless? This was not considered indecent at the time. It was part of the culture. And, it's only when the missionaries came to these areas that they deemed this indecent. Yes, it was indecent, but those women could not help it because they were so poor they could not afford proper clothes. It's quite the contrary for Rakhi. She's wearing those kinds of clothes because she wants to.

And, what is the limit of decency? What if I said for me (a Muslim), for a woman not to wear sleeves or cover her shoulders is indecent, to have a neckline of a dress not to be at your neck and to reveal chest is indecent, etc.. Yet, it's very accepted today by many girls that they wear sleeveless outfits with the back or the front cut lower than at the neck. So, is my sense of decency Indian, or is yours? For a woman, to expose her cleavage or anything else is absolutely unacceptable in any religion. Religion has nothing to do with this, because all religions require both men and women to dress properly and look dignified and respectable at all times. We are not talking only about women here, but men also. Whether exposing backs or the upper chests is decent or not varies from religion to religion, but all the religions in India share one belief, and that is that for a person to expose what should only be seen by their spouse is absolutely disgusting. Like I said, I have nothing against women wearing V neck dresses or other western outfits, but for that neckline to go so deep that it exposes their cleavage is...eew. I wear western clothes myself, but I ensure that I wear dignified western clothes. So whether a person is Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Jain, etc, it is againt their religion to expose like Rakhi does.

What we need to remember is that everyone has a different sense of what is acceptable. Many people who kills others find it an acceptable thing, because they feel they have the right to take the other person's life. Obviously those people's sense of what is acceptable is different from others who believe killing is wrong. So is killing right or wrong? (note that my intention is not to ridicule your statement, but merely to point out something.) I cannot condemn someone for dressing differently than what I would call decency. Then why must we condemn people who kill others for acting in a way different to what we would call moral? They might think that what they are doing is moral (if they killed another person as revenge for a wrong done to them.) They have to decide what is right for them. Often, what is right for them is not right for others. How does someone decide what is truly right for the whole society if every person acts the way they want to with no thought about others? Today, this is limited to dressing style and other similar themes, but tomorrow, what does someone do if people take murders as a light thing because people are free to act the way they want to? What exactly is freedom and how much freedom should a person get? Is anyone really free to do anything they want to? And if they are, why are some people condemned for their actions while others are not? And, for Rakhi to feel comfortable in a western dress with the back gone or whatever does not take away from the fact that she is indeed an Indian girl. That depends on what the world 'Indian' is defined as. If someone believes breaking the norms of an Indian society can still be called Indian, then so be it for them, but they will not be without their fair share of controversy.

It's nice to debate this - I feel great that everyone is standing up for their Indian-ness. But, in the process of doing so, I do not feel we have a right to judge Rakhi. We do not know her intentions and can only make assumptions.

Originally posted by: --arti--

Yes, you are 100% right.

Most of the time what is Indian culture and proper behaviour for women is determined by men. This is feminism talk. In every religion in India (whether it be Hindu scriptures or Muslim scriptures), the message of how to be a proper decent person is told my God (either through prophets or holy sages). The ultimate supreme being (God) does not have a male or female form, so how can it be a man determining what a woman should wear? That is just an excuse women have been using to break away from their religioun norms, because they want an easier life without any responsibilites or duties. A woman is truly recognized by how she carries out her duties and the hardships she faces bravely in life, not by chosing the easier path out and picking up western norms. And then women also learn this at a very young age and we start repeating it for the rest of our lives. We morally judge ourselves and other women too.

Tell me, is Indian culture just about how women should dress, talk, walk, and act? Not just, but it is a big part of it, yes.😊 As if it is not a man's responsibility to not look at a woman's body parts in that way. Why don't we judge culture by men's ability to treat women with respect and not like sexual objects? This is now turning into a men vs. women talk.🤔 I am a women as well, but I do not blame the men alone for the problems we have in today's society. Women bear an equal part. Just as it is the men's duty not to look at every woman as a sexual object, it is equally the women's duty to ensure that they look decent and proper at all times. Not only men, lots of women also look at men as sexual objects. When it comes down to everything, it is not whether you are a man or women, but your mindset. Some people have lusty mindsets, and it has nothing to do with their gender. There are many proper men as well as women, and likewise, there are many indecent lusty men as well as women. So to blame a whole gender for something like this is totally wrong.

Everyone says Rakhi does item songs, yes, she does, but there is a market for this, and almost all Indian men are participating in that. Really? So you know all the Indian men in India? Again, this is pure generalization. To put down the characters of men in general is unacceptable, as it greatly diminishes the virtues of those who are good Indian men. So who is creating this market? Rakhi is at least using this market to get ahead in life, to have financial security. So good for her. Just as it is wrong for those men who are participating in this market, it is equally wrong for Rakhi to use this market to her advantage. Just as it is wrong for someone to participate in something bad, it is equally wrong if someone else participates because others are doing it. Rakhi is setting a bad example for everyone.😒 So no, not good for her. The role of a true Indian person (both men and women) is not to 'get ahead in life' by indecent means, but to be always sincere, decent, and chaste at all times. Our Indian culture is rich and full of morals, and the role of any person, man or woman, is to live life to the fullest, yes, but to be a virtuous, decent, dignified person wherever they may be. This goes for both men and women.

I am against this whole "swayamvar" concept in the first place. Does Rakhi even know what a Swayamvar is in the first place? She is totally insulting Hinduism by this so called Swayamvar of her.

Originally posted by: Chits1

lalitha..very matured and nice post.👏

Originally posted by: samirah23

@Chits1 - we can agree to disagree on this one - but one thing - dressing one way is not the same as murder - although I do understand your point! 👏

Originally posted by: samirah23

Rakhi is an Indian Girl. She's Indian ... just like you are Indian, and I am Indian. Clothing or behavior does not make the Indian woman. Yes, it is true that many of us were brought up with ideals about how Indian woman should be and how we should carry ourselves. But all Indians are just not like this today. Some cover, and some do not. And, her dressing in any way does not stop her from being an Indian girl.