--- CHAPTER SIX (B) ---
Kis pe karun zaahir...
Hain dard kya aakhir...
Kyon sukoon mujh se khafa...
Getting fresh Asad walked out of his room... Looking around and not finding Zoya anywhere he sighed with relief walking towards the kitchen...
He wasn't in a state to face her or discuss anything... He was aware that he was doing wrong but then he himself didn't know how to solve the mess... He didn't get a moment to relax in last few days and he badly need some time himself... That was the reason actually he asked her to stay back but her sudden strange behavior stunned him... Wife...seriously...from where she gets the idea when he had explained everything before...'
This girl!!!' he shook his head wondering what new trouble she was going to create for him... Such a trouble she is...' he whimpered thinking over all the encounters he had with her while putting a coffeepot to boil on the stove... and his eyes shut tight realizing he was actually thinking about her when he needed to think about the solution to solve the mess... Massaging his forehead he inhaled...
Pouring himself a cup of coffee he walked out of the kitchen... A cup of strong black coffee was all he desired at the moment to soothing his stressed senses... Overpowered by guilt, he was feeling like killing himself... He couldn't even breathe with the burden...that was getting heavy with the time...
He settled himself on the beanbag chair by the french window of the living room...looking out while sipping his coffee...
"Asad, I am not Zoya's father but she is not less than Humeira to me...my elder daughter...that she always to me and so as a father getting worried is abovious na..." Patting on Asad's shoulder Anwar said, they were at airport "She acted childish sometimes but she has a heart of gold...after her parents demise we tried to give her all the happiness but still something is incomplete in her life... I always wished to find the right man who will fill her life with all the happiness...and I am sure Asad I couldn't have found anybody more suitable...I could trust you but still..." he paused getting emotional, "take care of my daughter..."
"Don't worry Anwar..." Rashid said coming towards them, "Zoya is Asad's responsibility now...aur mujhe bharosa hai apne bte par...dekh lena Zoya ko tumhari yaad bhi nahi aane dega wo..."
Placing the empty cup aside he rubbed his palms over his face tiredly... Whole ride from Bhopal to Mumbai those words of trust tortured him... What he had done...not only his family but Zoya and her family had that trust in him and he just fooled everyone...'how could he? now what he could do...?' his equation with Zoya was not so good from the beginning but that doesn't mean he could play with her life...where his senses were when he asked her for this... arrangement... Qubool hai' he shut his eyes as the words pealed in his mind ... Why...why I did this stupidity...??' His jaw clinched as something troubled him...that he couldn't bear... He breathed trying to keep calm... The situation was getting worst...and it should stop somewhere now...he wasn't able to bear anymore...but now any decision he took would affect many and he had to think wisely...
He sighed checking the time... Mr. Singhania asked him not to hurry...he was ready to wait for some more time as he got to know about Asad's marriage... But Asad...he wasn't ready to wait...he need to start his work as soon as possible and when it comes to work, nothing could distract him...actually his work was the only thing that could help him to forgot all the issues in life...
Rising up he walked into the kitchen, rinsed his cup and placed it in the sink before heading towards his room... getting ready in his three piece suit he came out...
Zoya wasn't around and thinking about informing her he turned towards her room... standing in front of the closed door he was contemplating... Finally he knocked on the door but didn't get any reply... I have informed her already' he thought moving back but then again turning he pushed the door open carefully... It wasn't locked and he peeped inside... Finding her sleeping peacefully he moved back closing the door...and collecting his stuff walked out of the house...
*******
After good four hours of sound sleep Zoya came out of her room all fresh...only to met with the empty house... Hmm...he had left...at least he could have informed but no...' she mumbled finding his room empty and walked out...
Let's feed yourself Zoya...and then think about what to do with your Husband...' She thought walking into the kitchen, Urghh!!! Now what? I am starving...' she huffed not finding anything that could help her growling stomach... Allah Miya!!! I have to cook!!!' Iske bare mein maine socha hi nahi...' biting her nails she thought worriedly as the realization dawn on her...that her cooking skills were limited to coffee, omlete, noodles and maybe sandwiches...
Urgh!!!' finally settling on coffee with some cookies, she came out of the kitchen...
Allah!!! I have to do some grocery shopping too...and I don't have any idea what actually I needs in kitchen...' She thought after disconnecting the call with Sara... Sara had called to inform that she would come in an hour and asked Zoya to make list of things she needed...
Getting up she headed towards her room to get ready deciding to call her Aapi for help...
*********
Shopping with Sara was fun and helped Zoya to divert her mind from all the issues for some time... She denied for having a dinner out and Sara didn't force her... Instead she bought some food for dinner, because she was tired after shopping session and before experimenting something in the kitchen she have to do some research for which her tired self did not allow and then first time she was going to cook and that too for Asad, so she didn't want to take any risk...
Hmph...it's so much tiring...' Sara slumped on the sofa after helping Zoya in arranging everything
Hmm...' Sitting beside Sara Zoya looked at her sadly, Sara wait for sometime na, Mr. Khan aa jayenge...phir sath me dinner karenge..." Zoya requested her for the fifth time; she was actually feeling guilty for ruining Sara's dinner plan...but then Asad denied joining them and she doesn't feel in her having dinner without him...
Zoya...enough now...it's okay, I can understand...tum aaj ka dinner apne Mr. Khan ke sath kar lena...we'll go some other day and I won't listen any excuse then...' Sara assured her, Now I have to go...'
Zoya sighed getting up and walked out with Sara...
God this look!' noticing sober look of Zoya Sara sighed, Now you stop thinking about me and go get ready for dinner with Mr. Kharoos Husabnd of yours...' Zoya finally smiled at her comment...
Bidding bye to Sara she walked inside... Suddenly it felt empty...she did know that fear she was experiencing sometimes thinking about her decision... Shaking her head she settled on the beanbag with her laptop...but her gaze was fixed out in the lawn...darkness was growing outside so as the heaviness she was feeling inside... Averting her gaze she looked at the laptop screen and clicking on the folder that contains her wedding photos she recalled the day when she said Qubool hai... Yes...she has accepted him and she would fight for him...for her husband...for her love...she'll fight to bring that smile back that she desired to see on his face...'
Something flashed outside and she looked up... Post lanterns lit up evaporating the darkness and brightening the whole lawn again...a smile graced her lips...placing the laptop aside she walked out...
Walking towards the watchman she inquired about the lamp that was not working and asking him to change it she walked inside...with a smile...
*********
Dard hai jo halka sa...
Khaab khaab chalka sa...
It was 8:30 when Asad reached home... Hoping for having some sound sleep that he needed badly he walked inside and his forehead creased... Zoya was sitting in the living room, engrossed in reading something... He didn't expect her home...he thought she must be with Sara and will return late...
Sensing his presence Zoya looked up from the book she was reading, "Aap aa gaye..."
"Hmm..." he just hummed walking towards his room...
"Umm...Mr. Khan..." she called getting up and he turned back, "umm...no...nothing..." she cursed herself not understanding why she was feeling awkward suddenly...
"What is it?" noticing her confused state he asked
"Nothing...wo...aap fresh hokar aaiye main dinner lagati hun..."
"You were waiting for me?" He inquired
"Umm...yes..."
"Tsk..." his hand reached his temple, "I said it already that I'll be late and that means I won't come for dinner..." he was not pleased
"But..." She looked down not knowing what to say, she was upset...
"See...no need to do this all...I don't understand why you are behaving strange when we both are aware of this..." He paused and she looked up...
"Arrangement..." She raised her brows completing his sentence and he looked other way...
"Don't you think we need to talk Mr. Khan?" She hadn't intended raising the topic but the word arrangement hit her and somewhere she was hurt... She has expected just a peaceful dinner with him... but he was just not ready to even being around her... She wants to know what was going on in his mind...and most importantly she wanted to tell him something... His ignorance bothering her...pushing her into that strange fear...
"Hmmm..." he let out a deep breath walking towards the sofa, things definitely will not go as per my plan' Placing the laptop bag aside he sat down, I know we should talk'
She watched him as he ran fingers through his hair and cursed herself noticing his tired self... We'll talk later Mr. Khan...I am sorry..." her anger vanished in guilt
He looked up at her narrowing his eyes and shook his head, "Just let finish it once...that will be better for both of us..."
"You think this all is that easy to finish"
"See...I know it has become complicated...but we need to think about the solution... it should stop somewhere ..."
She took a deep breath, "What if I want to give it a chance...I mean..." His gaze sharpened...posture straightened and she stopped...
"What?" "What made you think like that...I have already made it clear to you...my plans are different and there is no place for these all responsibilities..." He snapped and she looked down feeling the lump in her throat... He sighed, first time feeling guilty for her but that was just for a moment until his mind put forward a reason in his defense, You didn't force her to help...it was her decision...'
"See...I can understand but I didn't force you for this...you should have backed out if..." She looked at him and he stopped... Somewhere he knew that defense of his was all wrong...
"That was just half an hour before our engagement you asked me to back out..." she snapped but an instant regretted it... She doesn't want to talk about the past happenings now...she doesn't want to blame him or herself in that matter...they both had taken the decision that suits to their situation at that moment and now both have to face the consequences... She just wanted to think about her present and future that she imagined with him... "I know you have already cleared it..." she was composed, "but don't you think we should at least try to..."
He got up and she moved a step back, "Are you crazy...dimaag kharab hua hai tumhara...from the beginning I told you that it's an arrangement for some time...I don't want to confine myself in any relation..."
"Nikaah hua hai humara Mr. Khan..." She interrupted, "Nikaah koi arrangement nahi hoti...how could you assume those all rituals as fake...nothing was fake..." "At least not for me..." She closed her eyes mumbling last words to herself... and she looked up trying to keep her racing heart calm, "I wasn't also ready for this responsibility but I am ready to try...try for the best..." "Kabhi na kabhi toh yeh responsibility leni hi hai na...toh ab kyun nahi..."
"Nahi leni mujhe..." he yelled making her stop, "Kabhi nahi...I don't want to..."
"You have already taken it Mr. Khan..." She cut his words, "when you said Qubool hai...so now face it..." She raised her brows challenging him
"Will you stop this nonsense..." he gritted his teeth moving forward and she stepped back, "It would be better if you fixed it into your mind for once that...Yeh Nikaah mere liye koi maayne nahi rakhta..." He gazed into her eyes
She felt a sting in her heart...his words stabbed her heart and she tried hard to ignore the pain... "But mere liye maayne rakhta hai..." she said meeting his gaze...
"Just stop this..." he growled moving back...running fingers through his hair he looked other way... He needs to be calm...' taking a deep breath he looked towards her, "I can understand if you are not ready to tell your family, we can wait for some time and when you are ready I'll explain it to everyone..." he tried to make her understand
"You are ready to break everyone's trust, their expectations, their hopes but you are not ready to give this relation a chance...why Mr. Khan?" she asked and he shut his eyes getting annoyed
"Why don't you understand..." he was tired to argue, this was not what he expected... But when things happen as per my expectations...' he sighed
"Is it me..." his brows knitted as she asked, "I mean aapko mujhse koi problem hai...like..."
He cut her words realizing what she was going to ask, "How many times I have to make it clear, I don't want to get stuck in any relation...not with you and not with anyone else..." he snapped before walking towards his room and she sighed...
Betaab lamhon mein...Benaam aashqon mein...
Yeh aaks kis ka ban gaya...
Ghum ko aazmaane de...
Dill ko chot khaane de...
Kya hai chale kuch to pata...
What I am doing...what I will get forcing him...' She thought as she slumped on the sofa... She was hurt... her mind was asking her to stop this stupidness but then there was her heart...
Everything was in control of her heart...
Heart that fall for him...
Heart that want to squeeze all bitterness out from his life...
Heart that desired to see that smile...
Heart that wished a chance...
Heart that dreamed a future...with him...
Heart that had already taken the risk...
Heart that was ready to fight...
And... Heart that was ready to get hurt...too...
Getting up she walked inside her room, she was aware; it's not going to be easy... But she wants to try... She was not going to give up...
His words kept ringing in her mind as she stared at the ceiling... I may have reacted this way only if someone would have forced me for something that I don't want...' getting up she sighed, I should say sorry...'
Getting out of her room she stood in front of the closed door of Asad's room... Umm...subah bol dungi...' not finding courage to face him she turned and walked towards the kitchen...
What she had planned and how it turned out...she had no desire to eat... and keeping the food inside the fridge she decided to make a coffee for herself when sensing something she looked up and her gaze met with his...
******
Damn this girl...why she is hell-bent on making this all more complicated...' Getting rid of his suit jacket he walked inside the washroom... I am planning to solve the issue calmly and she is testing my patience...' He was furious...
Taking a shower he walked out of his room to get a cup of coffee that would help his aching head... He didn't notice her presence in kitchen till his gaze met with her and he cursed himself for his absent mind... He doesn't want to face her...at least not at this instant...
I am sorry Mr. Khan...' Before he moved back her words reached his ears and he stopped
I didn't intend to force you for anything...I just wanted to explain what I thought...this is not something where you alone can take decision...main at least apna view bata sakti hun...right?' She asked hoping his sensible reply but he just stay rooted on his spot, looking other way... I am just asking for sometime Mr. Khan...lets just see if it works...' she stopped as she noticed him frowning
"You want some time..." he asked meeting her gaze, "You want to try...Okay...fine...but there you have to follow some rules..." he crossed his arms and her eye lids shut for a moment before she looked at him...
"It's you who want to try so don't expect anything from me..." "I won't interfere in your life and its fine with me till your presence not affects my work, my routine, my life..."
Her eyes twinkled with hope, "I am not going to interfere in anything Mr. Khan...but as we are living in same house you have to follow at least one rule..."
His eyes narrowed, "What Rule?"
"Breakfast and dinner together..." she sensed he was going to deny, "Please, I don't like to eat alone...and just eating together won't affect any of your routine right?" Before he could say anything she asked with a hope...
"Hmm..." He sighed and turned, "I'll try..." mumbling he walked out...he just need some peace...he was tired...
A smile lifted on Zoya's face as she watched him... "And I'll try too..."
*********
Instead going to his room, he settled on the sofa in the living room, his head was aching badly... Massaging his forehead he waited for her to walk out of the kitchen... He needed a strong black coffee...
Now at least she won't bother me...and I am sure it won't take long to change her view...she has to understand that she is wasting her time...and it will be better for her if she realize it soon...' he was thinking over his decision of giving her some time for trying to make it work...somewhere he was feeling guilty for playing with someone's life...but what he could do now...he knew, he was not able to give another chance to his broken heart... How is it going to work in the first place when I won't be invested...?'
He was brought out of his thoughts when he saw a steaming cup of coffee in front of him... He turned to his side to see Zoya standing with a cup of coffee...
Coffee...' she placed the cup on the table in front...with a packet of Aspirin
Take it...You'll feel better...' She smiled before walking towards her room while he just stared at the cup...
Before closing her room door she glanced at him... I need your inputs to make it work Asad...and this is your first step...thank you...'
He shoved his face in his palms and inhaled before moving forward... He took a cup and she breathed in relief... She watched him sipping the drink...his features relaxed a bit...and a smile lifted on her lips...
Tu hai mere jeene ki wajah...
O...Jaanaaa...
Edited by -Prinky- - 8 years ago
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