The Silence.

The Silence.

Everything about that moment is etched clearly in my mind...dark as the irrevocability of fate I had stamped on myself.

It is the most perfect moment in my memory ever...When after receiving the blessings on quran khaani, my prayers were answered.

I ran to him, confident of myself. I was taken back by the face that smiled at me so surely.

And then the moments came flying...When I first met him... When our hands touched and I felt something instantly...When he grabbed my hand like a child, wishing on the meteor shower...When he pulled me towards him in determination and frustration many times...

It must have lasted a few seconds?- A moment of silence so deep and clear and final.

It was a clear sign...That I chose to ignore.

My pride? My arrogance? My ignorance? My enormous stupidity?

I was before my God and I stubbornly refused to take the path he showed me.

I failed to listen...to my inner voice.

A moment of silence that had shown me my future...where I truly belonged.

And now I have this eternity to spend in silence...Waiting out a life time...

I smile, I talk, I walk...go about all the usual motions that show I am living...

And I feel empty inside...Like a cheap plastic doll...dressed up in the finest clothes...

I know now.

That I was more precious to him than I will ever know.

It must be too late now, Right?

Forget that I even asked.

PS: The precap was so heart breaking when Sanam asks Ahil to dress Shaad up personally...to be her bridegroom. It was the heights of arrogance and looked very ugly, coming right after a spiritual experience she had. It looked like she was rejecting what God had proposed for her and decided to act, banking on her own judgement. It was painful watching Ahil bowing down to her dictates- more painful was the enormity of Sanam's loss that she is not aware of.

I do understand no one is in a mood to discuss anything other than venting out frustrations... Anyway, these are my thoughts...not going to defend or offend anyone...just an observation...speaking from Sanam's POV as she reflects back on the day she made a huge error in judgement. (Sanam has not regained her memory, but now Jannat knows she should have chosen Ahil.)

Originally posted by: chicksoup

The Silence.

Everything about that moment is etched clearly in my mind...dark as the irrevocability of fate I had stamped on myself.

It is the most perfect moment in my memory ever...When after receiving the blessings on quran khaani, my prayers were answered.

I ran to him, confident of myself. I was taken back by the face that smiled at me so surely.

And then the moments came flying...When I first met him... When our hands touched and I felt something instantly...When he grabbed my hand like a child, wishing on the meteor shower...When he pulled me towards him in determination and frustration many times...

It must have lasted a few seconds?- A moment of silence so deep and clear and final.

It was a clear sign...That I chose to ignore.

My pride? My arrogance? My ignorance? My enormous stupidity?

I was before my God and I stubbornly refused to take the path he showed me.

I failed to listen...to my inner voice.

A moment of silence that had shown me my future...where I truly belonged.

And now I have this eternity to spend in silence...Waiting out a life time...

I smile, I talk, I walk...go about all the usual motions that show I am living...

And I feel empty inside...Like a cheap plastic doll...dressed up in the finest clothes...

I know now.

That I was more precious to him than I will ever know.

It must be too late now, Right?

Forget that I even asked.

PS: The precap was so heart breaking when Sanam asks Ahil to dress Shaad up personally...to be her bridegroom. It was the heights of arrogance and looked very ugly, coming right after a spiritual experience she had. It looked like she was rejecting what God had proposed for her and decided to act, banking on her own judgement. It was painful watching Ahil bowing down to her dictates- more painful was the enormity of Sanam's loss that she is not aware of.

I do understand no one is in a mood to discuss anything other than venting out frustrations... Anyway, these are my thoughts...not going to defend or offend anyone...just an observation...speaking from Sanam's POV as she reflects back on the day she made a huge error in judgement. (Sanam has not regained her memory, but now Jannat knows she should have chosen Ahil.)

Originally posted by: darkice7_12

Like that this Jannat is at least honest in her thoughts at some point.

How about another such drabble with her actually speaking?

I wish the CVs would get a clue and let Jannat choose what her heart wants and not what her brain/propriety demand. How beautiful would that be after all the ugliness of her denial that we have seen?

Dartey darte aayi hoon...

Originally posted by: vm17

I hate Jannat.Shaad is trying to be good buthe is also guilty.He never encourages Jannat to remember her post.He has seen Ahil Sanam wedding photograph.Why can't he show it to her?She trusts him .Shaad could have simply shown the photo instead of making elaborate plans.

Jannat accused Ahil that Sanam is his zidd.In fact it is she who is being ziddi.She is disregarding everything and chanting Shaad's name.

I would hate it if Ahil is made atragic figure.I don't want shaad to win.Like i said before at this juncture only Seher can din some sense into Sanam's head.

If she regains her memory won't she regret being married to shaad and all that halal thing will happen😲

Originally posted by: JShukla

Dartey darte aayi hoon...

You still make it Sanam's doing..😕

I have seen faces of different boys/men since puberty on closing eyes...

😉😆🤣 Yeh eyes close karke decision on your love interest😆

Anyhow, to be serious, she does see a face and its likely that she dismisses it as her obsession or straying from marriage(If I were subjected to molten stares and wooing from a man who looked like Aahil, I'd also see his face on closing my eyes) So she'll ignore and go ahead with whoever says he is her husband.. sigh.. even if its Vanilla Shad

P.S.- I really appreciate your writing. Just that I am not watching QH these days and hence unable to connect to characters turmoil. Even the actors are not displaying any turmoil. Looking at the segment, I feel SJ is actually keen ..very keen..😉 on this track.. SR vagera

Originally posted by: chicksoup

J,

The SR has to be viewed as a naive girl embarking on her marital journey...she has been led to believe that and she will do whatever a good wife does on her first night. She does not know shyness...because she feels nothing with Shaad...it is all business like...and she does away with the First Night as a chore that is traditionally expected of her. With Ahil it was different because he made her feel coy and shy...she was a sweet bride. With Shaad, she has a mission to consummate.😆

The song n dance was a bad idea,👎🏼 IMO...waiting to see how the trps take all this...not that it is going to change my opinion one bit.🥱