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"I am seriously having one of my worst nightmares. Yeh stupid aadmi kahan se aa gaya Ayaan ke Bhaijaan ki jagah?" Zoya shrieked in disbelief.
On the other hand Asad was also having similar thoughts, "Of all the people in the world I am thinking about this girl!? I think I am just tired of all this wedding stuff." He shrugged and walked further where those pair of innocent, wide eyes still stared at him.
"Aap yahan nahi ho na, Mr. Akdu?" Zoya extended her hand in hope that this arrogant man will somehow disappear but instead she came in contact with a solid curve of his pectorals. As if on fire, both jumped back, away from each other, "Aap/ tum sach mein yahan ho?" They again shouted in unison.
"Main janti thi ki aap bahut badtameez hain but kisi ladki who bhi kisi dusre ki biwi ke room mein yun ghus jana, yeh expect nahi kiya tha maine. Dekhiye bahar jaiye aap...mere shauhar aate honge. Bade izzat-daar khandaan se hain woh, aapko chodenge nahi." Zoya blabbered non-stop while Asad just saw red.
"Enough! The place you are standing at is my room and my house. Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?" he asked rather roughly.
"Are you Asad Ahmed Khan?" Zoya asked in disbelief to which Asad nodded. "Main Zoya..." She continued, only to be cut off by Asad.
"Oh how could I trust Ayaan? Ya Allah! Yeh hai uski dost aur mere liye so-called perfect life partner. Why did I believe in his words?" Asad lamented.
"Main bhi koi mari nahi ja rahi thi aapse nikah ke liye! Ayaan ne kaha ki aap bahut caring hain, loving hain and all such lies but agar mujhe pata hota na ki aap, aap hain toh main aapse hargiz nikah nahi karti. Ayaan, you spoilt my life!!!"
"Listen, stop your drama and just get lost."
"Nikah hua hai humara...yeh room mera bhi hai. Main yahin rahungi...if you have any problem, you can go." Zoya retorted.
"Haan theek hai jata hoon main...hell will be a lot more better than living with you!!" he said in a curt tone and stepped forward to grab his belongings, oblivious to a stunned Zoya who had gone completely numb on hearing his words.
This was their daily routine, get up in the morning, fight, throw blames on each other and go to work, then come back home, fight again and sleep. Zoya had been witnessing this since she became conscious about her surroundings. Loud voices and abuses floated around her all the time. Today was no different, her parents were fighting and screaming at each other...
"You, you and only you!! Kabhi kisi aur ke bare mein socha hai? I have my own life...I can't sacrifice my happiness for your stupid whims." Zoya's mother shouted on her husband.
"Bas ab bahut hua...tumhare saath rehne se accha hai main jahannum (hell) mein jaun!" Her father retorted and went out of the house.
Next day her mother packed their bags and moved out with Zoya...
That day remained in Zoya's mind all the time but was hidden somewhere deep but Asad's words triggered those traumatic memories ...how her parents fought, how she suffered and how her parents' marriage failed. Zoya kept hearing the same underlying meaning in Asad's words...HELL WILL BE A LOT MORE BETTER THAN LIVING WITH YOU.
Hell...better...you...
Darkness prevailed and Zoya just let it go...
________________________________
Asad heard a faint thud and looked back, only to find that Zoya had passed out and was lying at the foot of his bed. He dropped his things where he was and rushed to her.
"Zoya...Zoya..." he called out
*no response
He reluctantly tapped her cheek and called out to her. Asad pressed the side of his head and was about to shout for his Ammi but stopped just at the moment. How will he explain Zoya's condition to Ammi? It will be very stressful for her. Thinking of all this, he picked up Zoya in his arms and laid her on the bed. Sprinkling little amount of water on her face, he politely called out to her.
After few minutes of distress, Zoya slowly opened her eyes and Asad didn't know that he'll ever be so concerned for a girl and that too this one...nonetheless he sighed in relief. Zoya stared at her surroundings for a moment and then sprang up on the bed.
Asad tried comforting her, "Woh..."
"Main nahi reh sakti aapke saath! Mujhe jana hai yahan se..." she said in a broken but determined voice. She stood up and went to the couch to curl up and curse her fate for doing this to her.
Asad stared at her retreating back in disbelief. He felt as if his worst fears have come true and his past haunted him so much that he closed his eyes while his fists tightened in a ball. He had been right always...it wasn't wise to be married or to fall in love, being who he was...son of that treacherous man, Rashid Ahmed Khan. What he did to Dilshad over years of their marriage...Asad was afraid to admit that he had done it to Zoya in a matter of few hours. Thinking about that man did nothing but worsened the gnawing ache in his heart. On one side, he was worried for Zoya, she was ill for God's sake, but was crying silently which he could feel (how!? He didn't know) and on the other he was worried about his Ammi. Knowing that sleep had evaded him tonight, he reached for his prayer mat, maybe Allah could give him the much needed solace...
"Ya Allah! Aapke dikhaye raste pe chal ke humesha ek nek-dil insaan ban ne ki koshish ki hai. Par aisa kyun hota hai har baar ki zindagi mera saamna mere ateet se karati hai? Janta hoon ki Zoya se mera koi vasta nahi hai...nahi woh mujhse kuch chahti hain. Yeh rishta humesha ek jhooth tha par Ammi ke liye nahi. Unhone humesha se iss din ka intezar kiya aur ab main unhe kaise bataun ki woh khushi jhooth thi? Agar unhe kuch ho gaya toh? Main khud ko kabhi maaf nahi kar paunga...mere liye nahi toh meri ammi ke liye...please guide me...warna main Ammi ko kabhi apna chehra nahi dikha paunga." Asad finished his prayer and after a long time, precisely after the day when his Abbu left him, he cried on his fate and his Ammi's.
NEXT MORNING
Zoya went out only to be met with loud noises and chit-chats. She had kept her bags packed as she was positive that she won't be living here anymore. She trudged forward when Najma noticed her, "Bhabhi!! Uth gaye aap? Good morning." She beamed at Zoya and Zoya couldn't help but smile despite her helpless condition.
"Accha hua aap aa gaye. Main aa hi rahi thi aapke room mein. Aapko yeh dress deni thi." Najma continued talking while working on something in her hand.
"What's this for?" Zoya asked casually.
"Offo Bhabhi. This is for your walima. Aaj sham ko aap yahi pehnna!" she smiled.
Zoya was feeling even more helpless now...she couldn't trust her legs to keep her stable anymore. She excused herself and went to Ayaan...if he had trapped her in such a situation it would be better to ask him to solve the mess.
AYAAN'S ROOM
"But Mona what had happened? At least tell me...ek raat mein itna gussa? What are you so cross about?" Ayaan asked in a panicked voice.
"Ayaan I just can't explain you anything. All I know is that it's impossible for me to live with HIM. I can't, please...don't force me!" she replied. Her tears made Ayaan aware that she's serious and won't budge until he had something solid to convince her.
"Mona, please sit. Just listen to me once...for our friendship's sake." He tried coaxing her.
As Zoya sat down, though reluctantly, Ayaan sighed in relief and braced himself for what he was about to do. He had to confide in her...
"Mona, I will tell you a story...set 15 years back. My Ammi was the happiest woman in the world, with her husband and two little kids...Bhaijaan and me. After few days we came to know that she was expecting Najma. We were on cloud nine...each day was a festivity. But you know for yourself that nothing is permanent...a storm uprooted everything. Ammi came to know about Abbu's betrayal...he had another family with a rich woman. Najma was too small when Abbu left us, for money...for the lifestyle that he could enjoy being with that woman. I was too small but I knew that Bhaijaan turned into the man of this house and our Abbu as well, overnight. He did everything to keep us happy. Since that day, he started hating the word LOVE itself. That man was like his age-old enemy...who has hurt our Ammi. Bhaijaan always tried making things easy for Ammi...listening to her every wish as a command. And this is why he has married you, Ammi is dying Zoya! That accident has caused a fatal injury to her head. Doctor says that giving her any stress can take her life but if we tend her with love and affection...she can live a healthy life. She will be cured...Zoya you were Bhaijaan's hope for saving Ammi. If you leave...A-Ammi won't..." Ayaan choked on his words.
Zoya didn't know when her eyes filled with tears...for someone unknown, but it seemed like this family has something in common with her...the loneliness! That growing sense of sadness when your loved ones betray you and leave you to lead life or rather drag it on your own. She got up, not in a condition to decide anything...she wanted Ayaan to solve the problem...not to confuse her anymore.
"Asad Bhai humesha mohabbat se door bhagte rahe...nikah ke liye razi wo sirf Ammi ke liye hue. Aaj agar tum chali gayi toh jis tarah humare Abbu humein chod gaye the...shayad Ammi bhi...Bhai ateet ke uss andhere se abhi tak nahi nikle hain, tumhare jaane se kahin who humesha ke liye us mein kho na jayein. I just ask for one thing, if possible, ek baar apna decision re-consider karo. Mat jao Zoya...we all need you."
What will a girl say to this? She had seen sufferings herself...but can she bear anymore? Can she help others while she is tormented by the ghosts of her past!!?
Zoya went out...unable to make her mind. Urging her Allah Miyan to guide her...
_______________________________________
On her way back to her room, Zoya saw Dilshad reaching out for her medicines. Before she could think otherwise, she was in her room, helping her to take her medicines.
"Are Zoya! Beta Are you alright? You seem worried." Dilshad's motherly eyes sensed her distress.
"N-no Aunt...Ammi. I am alright. Just tired." She lied.
"Aao baitho yahan...thodi der aaram kar lo." Dilshad said with so much of tenderness that Zoya couldn't refuse. She sat down and let Dilshad caress her hairs and smoothen the worry lines on her forehead. She felt her eyes brimming...her own mother never did that. She couldn't stop herself from developing an instant connection with this kind hearted woman.
"Maine kabhi nahi socha tha ki mere ghar bhi yeh khushi aayegi. Asad toh humesha nikah ke liye mana karta rehta tha. Par dekho accha hi hua! Usne meri saari choices eject kar di...aur itni pyari bahu laya mere liye. I am so happy that you've become a part of our family. Ab iss ghar mein humesha khushiyan rahengi, yeh yakeen hai mujhe." Dilshad smiled more compassionately at Zoya who was again at a loss of words. Talk about confusing situations!
EVENING
"Bhaijaan! Mashallah! You are looking so handsome. Main abhi Ammi ko bulati hoon. Who kitna khush hongi aapko dekh kar." Najma chirped on seeing Asad dressed perfectly for the walima.
"Are haan! Zoya Bhabhi bhi aa jayein...I'll go and see she's ready or not!?" Najma changed her mind and went towards Zoya's room.
Asad felt like a loser. He hadn't been big enough for stopping his Abbu, he had no idea how to save his Ammi's life if this girl went out of his life! It had always been a wrong decision...such girls are irresponsible, they don't understand others' conditions...so full of themselves. But Ammi? "How will I convince her that the girl who loved me till yesterday is out of my life forever?" He was so sure Zoya's departure, as he hadn't seen her since morning, neither heard from her, that he didn't listen at once when Najma called him.
"Bhaijaan!! BHAI!!" she squealed. "Look..."
Asad couldn't believe his eyes. He hadn't been so much at peace with himself since a long time...she didn't leave, she's here...decked as a bride, again. Standing in front of him, Zoya looked like an angel, complimenting him...completing him. But that was unknown to them...but not to those who glued their eyes to this lovely couple.
"Aap?" Asad couldn't stop himself.
"I am sorry I am late...I haven't worn a saree before." Zoya spoke in a low voice, not meeting Asad's eyes. That was an indication to Asad...not to discuss this topic here, in front of everyone.
"Chaliye aap dono. Ammi kab se bula rahi hain." Najma pushed them forwards, giggling to herself.
__________________________________________
Asad couldn't stop noticing his Ammi's smile as she chatted with the guests. He wished he could somehow keep that in its place.
"I'll do anything to save my Ammi. I'll apologize to Zoya...maybe I was too hard on her. Shayad mere sorry kehne se wo ruk jayein." He thought to himself.
He was interrupted by his Ammi's voice. He hadn't noticed her coming towards him. he composed himself and smiled at her. "Mashallah! Mere dono bacche kitne pyaare lag rahe hain ek saath. Allah dono ko humesha saath rakhein!" she blessed Asya while Zoya faintly smiled at the motherly affection that Dilshad always radiated.
"What are you both doing standing here? Chalo, tumhara walima hai...you have to dance." Dilshad announced while both of them turned pale on that prospect, dancing!!
"Ammi wo..." Asad started but when has he ever been able to complete.
"Tum chup raho. Aur jao Zoya ke saath dance floor pe. Bechari kab se yahan khadi hai tumhare saath...bore ho gayi hogi. Jao!" she pushed them a little and so it wasn't possible anymore to deny her.
_____________________________________________
Asad stole a glance at Zoya. She wasn't fuming or completely obvious about being uncomfortable. She was trying to keep her calm. He sighed in relief...the day was turning out to be better than he had imagined it to be.
Asad extended his hand towards Zoya which she accepted, though after a minute or two of self-thought.
Ye hasin raat ho na ho
Shayad phir is janam mein
Mulakat ho na ho
Lag jaa gale se
The song started playing and Zoya's eyes snapped up to meet Asad's questioning ones. They were lovers for everyone present there but for them, their relationship was still a mystery. Asad started moving a little, encircling his hands lightly around Zoya's waist.
Je bhar ke dekh leejiye Hamako kareeb se
Phir apke naseeb meinYe raat ho na ho
Shayad Phir is janaam mein Mulakat ho na ho
Zoya tried stopping her hand to reach out and rest on Asad's shoulder. They both looked at each other, swaying lightly to the tone of love as well as impending separation. Who knows, what will happen to their relation when the night ends.
His dancing cousins deliberately tripped Zoya so that she stumbled over him...closer...as if two souls deep in love.
The uncertainty of togetherness that the song described was depicted in Asad and Zoya's eyes too. Zoya was close to a breakdown...she hadn't made up her mind yet and such proximity with a man whom she had a known yet un-named relationship, was doing no good to her senses. Asad twirled her around slowly and she just let herself be carried away.
For Asad, it was a first and he was glad that he had been able to carry on dancing throughout. He felt jolts of something unrecognizable when he started dancing with Zoya but he ignored and slowly the sensation was overcame by a sense of happiness...seeing this girl try to be his wife in front of everyone. For what? Her and his families...to keep the smile intact on their faces, he could somehow sense that. Could he thanks her enough for this? The amswer seemed difficult to him...what if she leaves tomorrow and again he would be thinking of ways to save his Ammi??!
_______________________________________
Zoya was not in a mood to sleep or to face Asad by going in the room. She wandered around the house, in search of someplace where she can think about what next? She was tired and about to give up when she saw an open window. She moved forwards to close it but finally smiled seeing the serenity of night gracing the backyard...seemed like a perfect place for some self-talk.
She swiftly moved out and sat on the bench. What a relief...to get what you want! Few moments of peace...when all it seems is like a big, unsolvable puzzle.
She heard something she was sure. She turned around but there was nothing. She sipped her hot chocolate when again she felt as if she was surrounded by a known person. She turned back again and saw a little girl sitting on the ground cross-legged. She was staring at the sky and adoring the stars...just as how she was doing now.
She was about to call out to the kid but suddenly got a feeling of dj vu...this was her!! She always sat like that and gazed at the stars when she was small.
Zoya and her Daadi sat in the courtyard of their mansion and gazed at the stars, that was their daily routine. Daadi told her funny and inspirational stories to which Zoya giggled and when her Daadi told her the morals that the stories carried, she listened attentively. One such day, Zoya, being a curious child, asked her daadi that why does moon have to share the sky with so many stars?
"Itne bade aasman mein chand akela kitna khubsoorat lagega na daadi?" she cooed in her baby voice.
"Haan bacche, par kya moon apni beauty ke liye itne saare stars ko unke ghar se alag kar dega? Nahi na! Waise hi beta, jaise hum sirf apni khushi ke liye kisi dusre ko dukh nahi dete...samjhi kuch?" Dadi smiled at Zoya who cutely bobbed her head in approval, promising her that she'll never hurt anyone for her own gains.
Zoya's mind came back to present. The little girl wasn't their anymore...neither was the heaviness that she felt in her heart before. She had realized that whoever she loved went miles away from her but that doesn't mean that she snatch others loved ones from them. What was she doing? Leaving in anger when hers and Asad's families were more than happy to see them married...She had promised her daadi that she won't hurt anyone by being selfish and here she was going to hurt so many people at once...Dilshad the most! That woman who had bore so much in life already?
She thanked her daadi for showing her the right path. Her selfish decisions shouldn't harm the compassionate woman! If she needs her support to heal...so be it!
She'll be her hope and the medicine...
Zoya promised to herself that she'll be here till Dilshad needed her...she smiled at the star-lit sky, thanking her daadi to enlighten her, while her eyes shone with tears of pain and helplessness.
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