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Jee Le Zaraa Is Happening
Originally posted by: farz_parachute
Mineee
****There's so much I'd like to say...but nothing seems adequate. Or apt. Or well. Nothing is worthy of the update.I felt the love Dippu. It was there. He said he always listened. And he remembers too. That he was not to call her before 6. But he's no choice does he. He was dying.And he needed to Idk hear her voice for one last time or something. And yes. To say he loves her...for he knows he won't be able to say it after.What's beautiful here?Your second point of view. Your prose.Say for the sake of saying, that it worked, your having written the way you have. Say there's empathy your readers feel towards your character. Knowing fully well the outcome.You've done it Sardeep @aussiechick!You gave Tannu a past.Glorious in its very own way.Brilliant part a love.Brilliant.I wanna hug and kiss you so bad. To tell you that your words, your lines and my attachment to them. ...feels real.It might as well be. Oh Gods. I need to know more.And I love the guy. I love their love. I felt something.
oh babe. you make my heart burst with all your love for me. (i love you as much as you love me, maybe even more.)
you felt the love? thats what i wanted man, i wanted for the readers to, for once, feel for tanveer, even though she's a turd. he always listened, but she never knew. she had fantasies of him- about them, but she never acted on them, never asked him if he felt the same, and then it was too late, and he was gone. I love writing angsty stuff man, you don't even know.
thanks love! I've always wanted to write in second person, but i never had the chance to, because everyone and everything i write about never has much of the oomph tanveer has. idk, maybe its because i always always focus on the past of characters, and this time i had to make one by myself, from what we have seen of tanveer on the show (and what i can remember).
i dont know if amrapali does it on purpose, if she's given the script, or if it just comes out on camera like that- but sometimes, theres this sort of, idk, like, haunted expression that comes in focus? it's dark and haunted and maybe even a little lost if i go that far, and there was so much of that in the AsYa days and i was always intrigued by her.
was it you that invited me as an honorary member into this thing? because i am in deep. haha. deep. sardeep. that used to be the joke at school.
ayye hugs to you too! thanks for the love and this lovely comment babe <333
Originally posted by: sageflower7
Hey suds !!Need a little help here...I don't mean to sound obtuse but I wanted to ask you a few things...1. Tanveer's second father's new wife is where she stayed as a child right? When she met Asad, whose house she used to spend all her time at?I've been trying to read twice, while my daughter nags me to color and my son poking me to listen to his football fixtures 😆. believe me your writing is very intelligent and requires one's full attention and concentration. No speed reading here. Every word in the sentence has to be read and thought about. Like P.D.James, and Minnete Walters ...2. And her step mother abuses her right?ANd who is this new guy who helps her , with a gun?Is That Imran, who gets her knocked up?An actual guy, or a split personality of hers who helps her in tough situations?(You know like Life of Pi??)2. Then I'm guessing that she gets distracted from her friendship with Asad, and ends up with another guy who leads her astray. By robbing people.3. Who is she lusting after? Asad ? or this new entity?? Oh the suspense is killing me !!Give me the next update please !!!?😲4. Siddiqui file??That's sorta implies a investigative/ police-like role to Tannu...Huh??And this partner in crime gets killed on the Siddiqui job...This reads like Kill Bill, and Seven Psychopaths, in Minette Walters/P.D. James's style...Fuuuhhh, I think my mind just got blown...Sorry this took so long...Needed to sit down in a quiet place, without colouring books and football scores...You're awesome young suds !!If you wrote a novel, I'd buy a boxfull and make all my friends buy one each!! (Not a pyramid scheme though... ohbother...)You know, secretly, I have been wanting to write a story on She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named... But i'm so chicken about the brickbats that the haters might throw...So...I applaud you young suds!For having the guts to write an awesome piece on such a hated being in QHverse...p/s: Do give me the next update please !!!
hey love!
questions are what i'm here for, haha, i know this update was confusing as f**k.
yes, thats where she lived, and she met Asad after their wedding.yeah, her step mother is a turd, like every tragic backstory involving lots of mums is 😆
the guy is the same guy that she meets when she's fourteen- the third section is where it is written how many different ways they could meet. This is the only guy (apart from the two times Asad is mentioned) that tanveer takes a liking to, who is the same guy that she ends up being a partner in crime with, who is also the same guy she wants to f**k and marry and die with. but then he gets shot and dies.
this story is about what happened, and what should've happened, in tanveer's eyes.
she likes him. she wants him. he likes her. he wants her. but she doesn't know. she makes up fantasies about him, about them f**king, about her chasing him, but she never acts on them. she never asks if he likes her back. and then its too f**king late because he gets shot on the Siddiqui job. he gets shot, he makes a last phone call to her at 2am in the morning (you know how dying people call their loved ones?) and he dies. she doesn't know until two days later, when she reads in a newspaper that a man died (thats what you read in the first section, the one that started with Dead!). when she finds out, she doesn't want it to be true- this is the bit where it talks about if he came back, instead, if the next call he makes to her isn't his last (the /im always listening/ one), instead its about what he got from her, how he's stuck in customs, how he's sick.
non-linear writing f**ks me up too 😆
haha, thank you <3
omfg write write write bro, dont worry about the haters, if they come then you can f**k them up with your words.
young suds 🤣 im an adult now, love 😆
Thanks for the love babe <3
Originally posted by: Tannakstar
Oh my motherf**king god.
Oh my motherf**king god.Oh my motherf**king god.OH MY MOTHERf**kING GOD.THIS IS BLOODY AMAZING.I don't even know where to start. You've taken it to a new level.Suds. You have actually taken it to a new level.I LOVE that it's in second person. Because it places you in two places at once, it includes you in the story and at the same time it removes you. It gives me the feels. Not the sexy feels, no. The "this is beautifully haunting" kind of feels.This is Tanveer's POV, and your version of it is layered with abuse, neglect, unfulfilled desires and the worst of all, crippling loss. Loss of her family, loss of her childhood and loss of her love. I think you've done a fantastic job in cementing the foundation for her evil nature in the present track for Beautiful Chaos. And this is only the first part. Holy shit, what else do you have in store??Whatever it is, I am excited and a little bit scared. Because if this was only part 1, then how amazing will part 2 be? Will it be so blindingly epic that my brain will explode? Will I fangirl into oblivion? Will I be commenting with so many exclamation marks that my fingers cripple?In regards to your mention of James Dean, he was a beautiful man. If your crisis was related to his sad death, then I completely sympathise, I also get emotional when incredibly sexy men meet an untimely end, WHEN THEY HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL GODDAMMIT.I think I can only end this ridiculously gushy comment with the first words I thought after reading your post.You are a genius, bas.Tannu
oh babe. oh man. thank you so so so much for the love <3 🤗
i don't have words to describe how i felt when i first read your comment love, it was mostly just a jumble of what the f**k jesus christ thank you, because writing this actually took a lot out of me 😆
maybe it was because of my existential crisis, maybe something else, but writing this made me even more depressed and harrowed. and then you commented and it was the first i saw and it made all of this worth it. thanks bro.
your comment gives me the feels love <333
haha, please dont overestimate me, i am a fifth of the way through the second part and i can see that its gonna be going downhill all the way to the end now 😆
it was related to james dean. this is the second time I've cried myself sick and had panic attacks and migraines and anxiety attacks in the never ending span of three weeks because of that man. so much potential. so f**king much.
all of the other actors and prominent figures of the 50's and 60's are either dead or on the brink of it at this time as well, which just makes me very sad, because they're all going, and soon there wont be as many people remembering them. oh man, my biggest fear is forgetting things, and i hate it so so so much, you dont know 😆
i might be spamming your scrapbook thing soon, because you have excellent taste.
THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU 🤗
Originally posted by: urvisaini
Oh boy
tannu had a dark past!I think for the first time i felt so so so so so so so sorry for her!You gave an entire chapter on her!Loved it
Originally posted by: farz_parachute
This.Exactly this.This is all I wanted to say too.All of this.Omg.Tannu.Thank you.You've said it all love!Genius this girl is.
Originally posted by: Perfectionist2
Sudsy,
Can I tell you I was expecting massive things from your update, I have to put it that despite the fact that you are the youngest writer, you maturity and overview is freakish gory. So I did expect that and yet you threw me off my chair.But you brought this to a whole new level.It's like challenging my intelligence. I read scenes A->B->C-> then I went back to check what did I just read. After that I went back to reading the rest. I think I understood. But this whole second person and being there whilst watching yourself is kind of eerie.So I went to read it the second time this time completely in one go...I don't know what to say, I am silent for the first time.I kind of emancipated the plot only because you mentioned to me in that email, You would read the in between lines of the most obvious Tanveer's mind.But Girl, don't waste that talent. It would be a shame.Spine chilling fantastic is my comment to this master piece.Love You Hun.Juliet!
oh lord. thanks love.
haha, my prose is quite f**ked up, i know 😆
yeah, it is a little disturbing, which is why i have wanted to write in second person for so long, and i thought doing second person pov for a character like tannu's would be pretty cool :P
your chapter legit made me rethink all of the things i was gonna do because yours was so good and there was this tension that was in between every word on the page, and i really want that tension and pain to be continued with the stuff i wrote, because your chap was really cool and i want to try and make mine cool too.
i hope im doing justice to tannu's character, thats all. 😆
thanks love, i love you too 🤗
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
