Beautiful Chaos Thread ll - Pt 6 (a), Pg 74

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

#521

Hey suds !!

Need a little help here...

I don't mean to sound obtuse but I wanted to ask you a few things...

1. Tanveer's second father's new wife is where she stayed as a child right? When she met Asad, whose house she used to spend all her time at?

I've been trying to read twice, while my daughter nags me to color and my son poking me to listen to his football fixtures 😆. believe me your writing is very intelligent and requires one's full attention and concentration. No speed reading here. Every word in the sentence has to be read and thought about. Like P.D.James, and Minnete Walters ...

2. And her step mother abuses her right?

ANd who is this new guy who helps her , with a gun?

Is That Imran, who gets her knocked up?

An actual guy, or a split personality of hers who helps her in tough situations?

(You know like Life of Pi??)

2. Then I'm guessing that she gets distracted from her friendship with Asad, and ends up with another guy who leads her astray. By robbing people.

3. Who is she lusting after? Asad ? or this new entity?? Oh the suspense is killing me !!

Give me the next update please !!!?😲

4. Siddiqui file??

That's sorta implies a investigative/ police-like role to Tannu...

Huh??

And this partner in crime gets killed on the Siddiqui job...

This reads like Kill Bill, and Seven Psychopaths, in Minette Walters/P.D. James's style...

Fuuuhhh, I think my mind just got blown...

Sorry this took so long...

Needed to sit down in a quiet place, without colouring books and football scores...

You're awesome young suds !!

If you wrote a novel, I'd buy a boxfull and make all my friends buy one each!! (Not a pyramid scheme though... ohbother...)

You know, secretly, I have been wanting to write a story on She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named... But i'm so chicken about the brickbats that the haters might throw...

So...

I applaud you young suds!

For having the guts to write an awesome piece on such a hated being in QHverse...

p/s: Do give me the next update please !!!

Edited by sageflower7 - 10 years ago

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minnie2308

@minnie2308

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

#522

☢️The Nines... Are you updating?

Cmmon guys... Tumko Jallad Jinn ki kasam

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sardeeeeeep

@saruu.

Inactive

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#523

Originally posted by: minnie2308
☢️The Nines... Are you updating?

Cmmon guys... Tumko Jallad Jinn ki kasam

the update's on page 74 love!

it's not very naughty though.

or with any SaHil.

Sanam's name is in there once, i think 😆

Edited by suds. - 10 years ago

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Tannu

@Tannakstar

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#524

Oh my motherf**king god.

OH MY MOTHERf**kING GOD.

THIS IS BLOODY AMAZING.

I don't even know where to start. You've taken it to a new level.

Suds. You have actually taken it to a new level.

I LOVE that it's in second person. Because it places you in two places at once, it includes you in the story and at the same time it removes you. It gives me the feels. Not the sexy feels, no. The "this is beautifully haunting" kind of feels.

This is Tanveer's POV, and your version of it is layered with abuse, neglect, unfulfilled desires and the worst of all, crippling loss. Loss of her family, loss of her childhood and loss of her love. I think you've done a fantastic job in cementing the foundation for her evil nature in the present track for Beautiful Chaos. And this is only the first part. Holy shit, what else do you have in store??

Whatever it is, I am excited and a little bit scared. Because if this was only part 1, then how amazing will part 2 be? Will it be so blindingly epic that my brain will explode? Will I fangirl into oblivion? Will I be commenting with so many exclamation marks that my fingers cripple?

In regards to your mention of James Dean, he was a beautiful man. If your crisis was related to his sad death, then I completely sympathise, I also get emotional when incredibly sexy men meet an untimely end, WHEN THEY HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL GODDAMMIT.

I think I can only end this ridiculously gushy comment with the first words I thought after reading your post.

You are a genius, bas.

Tannu

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Urvi Saini

@urvisaini

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

#525

Oh boy

tannu had a dark past!

I think for the first time i felt so so so so so so so sorry for her!

You gave an entire chapter on her!

Loved it

Edited by urvisaini - 10 years ago

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farz_parachute

@farz_parachute

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#526

Originally posted by: Tannakstar
Oh my motherf**king god.

Oh my motherf**king god.

Oh my motherf**king god.

OH MY MOTHERf**kING GOD.

THIS IS BLOODY AMAZING.

I don't even know where to start. You've taken it to a new level.

Suds. You have actually taken it to a new level.

I LOVE that it's in second person. Because it places you in two places at once, it includes you in the story and at the same time it removes you. It gives me the feels. Not the sexy feels, no. The "this is beautifully haunting" kind of feels.

This is Tanveer's POV, and your version of it is layered with abuse, neglect, unfulfilled desires and the worst of all, crippling loss. Loss of her family, loss of her childhood and loss of her love. I think you've done a fantastic job in cementing the foundation for her evil nature in the present track for Beautiful Chaos. And this is only the first part. Holy shit, what else do you have in store??

Whatever it is, I am excited and a little bit scared. Because if this was only part 1, then how amazing will part 2 be? Will it be so blindingly epic that my brain will explode? Will I fangirl into oblivion? Will I be commenting with so many exclamation marks that my fingers cripple?

In regards to your mention of James Dean, he was a beautiful man. If your crisis was related to his sad death, then I completely sympathise, I also get emotional when incredibly sexy men meet an untimely end, WHEN THEY HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL GODDAMMIT.

I think I can only end this ridiculously gushy comment with the first words I thought after reading your post.

You are a genius, bas.

Tannu

This.

Exactly this.

This is all I wanted to say too.

All of this.

Omg.

Tannu.

Thank you.

You've said it all love!

Genius this girl is.

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Tannu

@Tannakstar

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#527

Originally posted by: farz_parachute

This.

Exactly this.

This is all I wanted to say too.

All of this.

Omg.

Tannu.

Thank you.

You've said it all love!

Genius this girl is.

HAHAHAHAHA Farz, I can only speak the truth!

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Young And Horny!

@Perfectionist2

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#528

Sudsy,

Can I tell you I was expecting massive things from your update, I have to put it that despite the fact that you are the youngest writer, you maturity and overview is freakish gory. So I did expect that and yet you threw me off my chair.

But you brought this to a whole new level.

It's like challenging my intelligence. I read scenes A->B->C-> then I went back to check what did I just read. After that I went back to reading the rest. I think I understood. But this whole second person and being there whilst watching yourself is kind of eerie.

So I went to read it the second time this time completely in one go...

I don't know what to say, I am silent for the first time.

I kind of emancipated the plot only because you mentioned to me in that email, You would read the in between lines of the most obvious Tanveer's mind.

But Girl, don't waste that talent. It would be a shame.

Spine chilling fantastic is my comment to this master piece.

Love You Hun.

Juliet!