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Hey guys soo this is my first one shot or one and a half shot, if that even exists Lol!
I just read what happens in the epi. Looks like it was a one hl of a episode. So this is based on that... but most of it is just based on my thoughts about the precap scene.
Anyways, haven't watched QH in a month, surviving on written updates and spoiler pics. :P So it's a given I am hugely SaHil deprived... and yes it does cause some insanity! :P Anyways I have taken to writing about Sahil to keep from going completely crazy... I'm pretty up to date with what's happening in the show, and so excited and sad for today's episode. Excited for the track, sad cuz I cannot see it.
Anyways this is how I picture things will go... sorry it's pretty long. But I hope I was able to portray Sanam's feelings well enough. Don't know what will happen in the show... but hopefully Sanam's feelings for Aahil wll finally surface, and maybe Aahil might confess... though I don't think that might happen just yet. But this track will definitely bring them closer.
Anyways, please let me know what you think. Do leave comments, they are a huge help.
And I think this has turned out pretty okay-ish as I did it in one sitting so criticisms are more than welcome and sorry if there are any grammatical errors. So please let me know your thoughts on this
Ciao,
Sim
Sanam's POV
I knew something was very off. I could feel it I my gut. My stomach was knotted with this feeling that something bad was about to happen if it wasn't already happening. I kept glancing over at Haya, Faiz and Rahat. Haya's expression as she was looking at Rahat...was it sadness, desperation, hurt...anger? I remember dreaming about the day my little sister would be married as I felt a pang of sadness thinking about Badi Ammi, how I wish she was here to bless Haya and Faiz.
When news of Faiz wanting to marry her came across, I couldn't be happier. When she said Qubool Hai', she looked so content, she looked like the happiest girl in the world. What changed in the last hour that she suddenly looks so...unhappy?
A million thoughts that were running through my head were cut shot, as a loud noise, like a bomb going off went off on the top floor, as I stumbled on my feet almost falling to the ground. As I stabilized my feet, trying to make sense of what just happened, I ran towards Haya to make sure she was alright. But just like me, her thoughts were worrying for Baddi Ammi who was asleep on the top floor.
As I ran upstairs, Rahat along my side, fear swept across my face to find the area engulfed by smoke. I called out for Badi Ammi, moving towards her room, but she was no where to be found. My heart was racing, as I felt the sweat roll down my back and I sent a small prayer to Allah to keep her safe. At the end of the hallway, I ran towards the last room I had to check and opened the door to find her on the bed, the room devoid of any smoke. She looked pale and fragile, and I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. She had already been through so much, it hurt to see her like this. I was thankful that Rahat was there with me as he helped get her on the wheelchair and off this floor. As soon as Bad Ammi's safety was assured, panic engulfed me once more as the thoughts of another missing person entered my mind. Aahil.
Oh god! I felt my heart beats rise again as I realized he was not downstairs when the blast went off. That means ... he had to be here. My body froze for a moment and my mind stopped working. No! No! No! No! I repeated over and over in my head. "Aahiiilll!!" I screamed and ran back into the smoke. I don't know what came over me as I felt the same panic and fear I felt when I first thought about Badi Ammi and her safety. I ran frantically through the rooms again, not caring about the smoke burning my already bloodshot eyes. That's when things went from worse to hell, as I heard the walls in Badi Ammi's room collapse, and felt the feet beneath my ground rumble. I ran in the direction of the noise, screaming Aahil's name again. I couldn't make sense of this feeling of urgency, of concern to see him again, to make sure he was okay. I stopped to see a figure come out of the smoke, as I felt relief creep in. Thank god, he was oka... and just like that that feeling was replaced with horror as I watched him stumble towards me like a zombie. His forhead and left cheek smeared with blood, his clothes ragged, and torn, bruises on his arm and head. I felt a jab in my heart and I could feel all his pain.
His legs finally gave way as he stumbled and fell into my arms. "Aahilll! " I shrieked once more, as I sat on the floor his head now in my lap. I screamed for help to Rahat and Faiz, and then turned to nurse him. Positioning him carefully, I caressed his head as I whispered through my tears, as he fell short of breath "Shh shh, it's okay Aahil, its okay...everything is going to be okay. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you." My own words stunned me a little as I had just proclaimed my undying hate towards him a while ago. But in my heart I knew didn't mean those words and now I wished I could take them back. My eyes stung at the realization that all the horrible things I said to him could be my last ever. "I'm so sorry." I whispered into his ear, closing my eyes as a distant memory flashed through my head. I remembered all those times he had saved him, nursed me, and rescued me. I owed him every breath I took, and I could do nothing but feel helpless, sitting here looking at him going out of breath, as he tried to speak.
"Sanam...Sa..naam...I.." My heart quickened hearing his voice as I urged him not to speak, but he carried on anyway. "Sanam...I'm sorry too... for everything"
My heart sank as I heard him apologize. Here was lying in my arms, out of breath, almost unconscious, and he was apologizing. "Aahil its okay, its going to be okay." I repeated, this time trying to convince myself as the tears kept flowing and my mind and heart racing at the speed of the fastest car in the world.
Just then I could hear footsteps nearing. It was Rahat and Faiz, along with nurses from the hospital who had come with a gurney. I helped as they carefully lifted and put him on the gurney and rushed him to the ambulance. I climed into the ambulance with him, as Rahat informed that Badi Ammi was going to be okay, relieving me of one tension. Just before the ambulance doors shut he added "He saved her Sanam."
I froze in place as I repeated his words in my head. He saved her Sanam. He saved her. He risked his life to save mine. Baddi Ammi, Haya, they were my life. But if my life was saved... why did it feel like it was hanging by a thread. As if to answer my question, I felt Aahil's warm skin on my hand, as his hands tried to hold onto mine.
I turned around, my grip tightening around his hand, and suddenly it felt like instaed of him, I was the one holding on for support. "Sanam..." he whispered my name again, clearer this time. A small tear escaped his eye and I could feel the urgency in his touch, in his voice, like this was the last time he was going to speak. Pushing that thought aside, I held on tighter. "Sanam...i... I lov...i... I love..."
And with that he collapsed, his eyes shutting as panic and confusion and bewilderment washed over me. The paramedics around him were too busy to hear him mumbling, but as he shut his eyes my shaky nerves were back as I held on to him "Aahil, Aahil...wake up Aahil!! Aahil! Do something!!" I screamed to the nurses around me. Their futile attempts and lines such as "Calm down, he is just unconscious" "Let us do our work" failed to reduce my fears and anxiety.
As soon as we arrived at the hospital, medical language was flying around my ears like flies, and I noticed Aahil's family waiting for him. As they rushed him into the Operation Room I could feel his fingers slip away, as I tried to hold on. And just like that, he was gone. My heart cried in pain, as I realized I didn't know if he was coming back.
***********************************************
4 hours later
As Aahil had been taken into surgery, I had flopped down on the seat next to Aasma, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to process my thoughts. How four hours had gone by, I had no idea, because time had ceased to exist for me. I could feel the worry and concern of those around me. I could feel Begum Sahiba pacing up and down the hallway. I could feel Aasma and Latif's calming words and gestures, trying to make me feel better. But how could I feel better, when my husband was out there fighting for his life. My mind and body were in a kind of pain that made me numb. My heart felt like it was slowly and painfully being crushed to dust. I guess my tear ducts had dried up as well, as I felt the dampness on my cheeks.
For four hours, just like time, my body had stood still. Without reaction. And then the doctor emerged, causing my brain to reboot as we all scurried to him for more information. The look on his face made me want to give him plastic surgery.
He spoke slowly, in a monotonous tone. "External injuries are not as grave, but... there was huge amounts of internal bleeding. His spleen and spine have taken the hit. But the worse hit was taken by his brain.That is why his condition is critical. Currently his body is in an unresponsive, paralyzed state. We need to keep him under observation for the next 12 hours, before we can proceed. But..." he took in a deep breath "In cases like these, chances of survival are...minimum. So... I suggest you call the rest of your family." And with that he left.
I suggest you call the rest of your family. As it hit me what that line meant, I felt the floor beneath my feet slip away, as I clutched my chest and fell to the ground to keep it from shattering into a thousand pieces. I could hear begum sahiba scream at the doctor "What do you mean call your family! How can you say this! You are the doctor, it is your job to do your best to save your patient, not come here give me some statistics about these kind of cases. How dare you say my son is going to die?! You better do everything..." But by now their voices were muffled as I felt a void engulf me, pulling me into an emptiness...a darkness. I felt my stomach go hollow. I didnn't realize my own movements as I got up, lifeless and walked away.
I kept on walking, unaware of what was going around me, unaware of where I was headed, as the doctor's words kept ringing in my ears.
His spleen and his spine have taken a bad hit...but the worse... his brain...paralyzed state, unresponsive. His brain...the worse hit... Chances of survival...minimum... call the rest of your family... internal bleeding...chances of survival...minimum... paralyzed state... and then I could hear Aahil's muffled voice whispering in my ear over and over... I'm sorry too...for everything... Sanam... I'm sorry...I love...i... for everything...I'm sorry...Sanam...Sanam...I Love...
With my hand over my ears, I collapsed to the floor once again, trying to make the voices go away. But as I did, more voices came back... this time they were mine.
"I hate you! I feel suffocated in this marriage, in this house, living with you. I feel like I'm in a prison. I cannot wait for the day that I will leave you forever!"
"Stop!! Stop!!" I screamed in agony my ears burning with pain, as once again fear filled me and my worst thought crept into my brain- I may never see him again. I slowly opened my eyes as they burned. I looked around to see I was on the floor in a dark room, with a few candles burning, as I saw a sign that read "Prayer room." And the tears came back gushing, but I was glad. Glad to find this room, as prayer was the only thing that could stop the fiery pit of pain and panic in my body right now.
I folded my knees, getting in a position to pray, as I shut my eyes, letting my emotions overtake me, as my tears were back with full force.
The moment I shut my eyes, a distant, hidden memory came back to me.
I saw myself, arms around Aahil, hugging him begging him to not let go. To hold me safe, saying I didn't want to die. I remembered him, holding me tight, and safe... prmosing to keep me safe and sound.
My eyes suddenly flashed open as I remembered every detail of that night I clung to him, and with that came back a hundred other memories. Of how he had kept me safe, saved me from that washing machine, stood up for me in front of his family, cared for me. His kind gestures, his kind smile...his apologetic eyes, everything started coming back to me, as my heart leaped at the thought of losing him.
I closed my eyes again and prayed.
Ya Allah, please Aahil ki jaan baksh do. Please save him. He is a kind man with a big heart. He doesn't deserve this. I... I don't know why my heart is in my throat, I don't know why I feel hollow inside at the thought of never seeing him again. I don't know why at this very moment I want to rush to his side and slap him awake, and let him know that I am here. That I will be here as long as he needs me. I don't why I feel like I need him more than he will need me. I don't know what my heart is feeling... but I know it's not going to go away... All I know is I cannot stand him in pain like this. All I know is I don't want my husband to die. I don't want to lose him...I feel incomplete without him. Please, you have to save him, you have to... I pleaded my words barely audible.
I paused for a moment regaining what little strength I had left and this time spoke as if Aahil was next to me, remembering his words once more "Sanam...I love..."
"Aahil... you better wake up. You better snap out of it. As your wife I have every right on your life, I own your life, like you own mine...so you have to wake up damn it! I promise we won't fight. I promise I will never fight with you again. Please just... Please wake up... Please come back to me." I whispered to myself.
In that moment I knew losing him would break me, and maybe... just maybe I knew why I felt this way.
I don't want to lose him. I... I need him.
I thought to myself as I continued to recite another prayer in his name.
[B]Hope you liked reading it. Let me know your thoughts. [/B]
I just read what happens in the epi. Looks like it was a one hl of a episode. So this is based on that... but most of it is just based on my thoughts about the precap scene.
Anyways, haven't watched QH in a month, surviving on written updates and spoiler pics. :P So it's a given I am hugely SaHil deprived... and yes it does cause some insanity! :P Anyways I have taken to writing about Sahil to keep from going completely crazy... I'm pretty up to date with what's happening in the show, and so excited and sad for today's episode. Excited for the track, sad cuz I cannot see it.
Anyways this is how I picture things will go... sorry it's pretty long. But I hope I was able to portray Sanam's feelings well enough. Don't know what will happen in the show... but hopefully Sanam's feelings for Aahil wll finally surface, and maybe Aahil might confess... though I don't think that might happen just yet. But this track will definitely bring them closer.
Anyways, please let me know what you think. Do leave comments, they are a huge help.
And I think this has turned out pretty okay-ish as I did it in one sitting so criticisms are more than welcome and sorry if there are any grammatical errors. So please let me know your thoughts on this
Ciao,
Sim
Sanam's POV
I knew something was very off. I could feel it I my gut. My stomach was knotted with this feeling that something bad was about to happen if it wasn't already happening. I kept glancing over at Haya, Faiz and Rahat. Haya's expression as she was looking at Rahat...was it sadness, desperation, hurt...anger? I remember dreaming about the day my little sister would be married as I felt a pang of sadness thinking about Badi Ammi, how I wish she was here to bless Haya and Faiz.
When news of Faiz wanting to marry her came across, I couldn't be happier. When she said Qubool Hai', she looked so content, she looked like the happiest girl in the world. What changed in the last hour that she suddenly looks so...unhappy?
A million thoughts that were running through my head were cut shot, as a loud noise, like a bomb going off went off on the top floor, as I stumbled on my feet almost falling to the ground. As I stabilized my feet, trying to make sense of what just happened, I ran towards Haya to make sure she was alright. But just like me, her thoughts were worrying for Baddi Ammi who was asleep on the top floor.
As I ran upstairs, Rahat along my side, fear swept across my face to find the area engulfed by smoke. I called out for Badi Ammi, moving towards her room, but she was no where to be found. My heart was racing, as I felt the sweat roll down my back and I sent a small prayer to Allah to keep her safe. At the end of the hallway, I ran towards the last room I had to check and opened the door to find her on the bed, the room devoid of any smoke. She looked pale and fragile, and I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. She had already been through so much, it hurt to see her like this. I was thankful that Rahat was there with me as he helped get her on the wheelchair and off this floor. As soon as Bad Ammi's safety was assured, panic engulfed me once more as the thoughts of another missing person entered my mind. Aahil.
Oh god! I felt my heart beats rise again as I realized he was not downstairs when the blast went off. That means ... he had to be here. My body froze for a moment and my mind stopped working. No! No! No! No! I repeated over and over in my head. "Aahiiilll!!" I screamed and ran back into the smoke. I don't know what came over me as I felt the same panic and fear I felt when I first thought about Badi Ammi and her safety. I ran frantically through the rooms again, not caring about the smoke burning my already bloodshot eyes. That's when things went from worse to hell, as I heard the walls in Badi Ammi's room collapse, and felt the feet beneath my ground rumble. I ran in the direction of the noise, screaming Aahil's name again. I couldn't make sense of this feeling of urgency, of concern to see him again, to make sure he was okay. I stopped to see a figure come out of the smoke, as I felt relief creep in. Thank god, he was oka... and just like that that feeling was replaced with horror as I watched him stumble towards me like a zombie. His forhead and left cheek smeared with blood, his clothes ragged, and torn, bruises on his arm and head. I felt a jab in my heart and I could feel all his pain.
His legs finally gave way as he stumbled and fell into my arms. "Aahilll! " I shrieked once more, as I sat on the floor his head now in my lap. I screamed for help to Rahat and Faiz, and then turned to nurse him. Positioning him carefully, I caressed his head as I whispered through my tears, as he fell short of breath "Shh shh, it's okay Aahil, its okay...everything is going to be okay. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you." My own words stunned me a little as I had just proclaimed my undying hate towards him a while ago. But in my heart I knew didn't mean those words and now I wished I could take them back. My eyes stung at the realization that all the horrible things I said to him could be my last ever. "I'm so sorry." I whispered into his ear, closing my eyes as a distant memory flashed through my head. I remembered all those times he had saved him, nursed me, and rescued me. I owed him every breath I took, and I could do nothing but feel helpless, sitting here looking at him going out of breath, as he tried to speak.
"Sanam...Sa..naam...I.." My heart quickened hearing his voice as I urged him not to speak, but he carried on anyway. "Sanam...I'm sorry too... for everything"
My heart sank as I heard him apologize. Here was lying in my arms, out of breath, almost unconscious, and he was apologizing. "Aahil its okay, its going to be okay." I repeated, this time trying to convince myself as the tears kept flowing and my mind and heart racing at the speed of the fastest car in the world.
Just then I could hear footsteps nearing. It was Rahat and Faiz, along with nurses from the hospital who had come with a gurney. I helped as they carefully lifted and put him on the gurney and rushed him to the ambulance. I climed into the ambulance with him, as Rahat informed that Badi Ammi was going to be okay, relieving me of one tension. Just before the ambulance doors shut he added "He saved her Sanam."
I froze in place as I repeated his words in my head. He saved her Sanam. He saved her. He risked his life to save mine. Baddi Ammi, Haya, they were my life. But if my life was saved... why did it feel like it was hanging by a thread. As if to answer my question, I felt Aahil's warm skin on my hand, as his hands tried to hold onto mine.
I turned around, my grip tightening around his hand, and suddenly it felt like instaed of him, I was the one holding on for support. "Sanam..." he whispered my name again, clearer this time. A small tear escaped his eye and I could feel the urgency in his touch, in his voice, like this was the last time he was going to speak. Pushing that thought aside, I held on tighter. "Sanam...i... I lov...i... I love..."
And with that he collapsed, his eyes shutting as panic and confusion and bewilderment washed over me. The paramedics around him were too busy to hear him mumbling, but as he shut his eyes my shaky nerves were back as I held on to him "Aahil, Aahil...wake up Aahil!! Aahil! Do something!!" I screamed to the nurses around me. Their futile attempts and lines such as "Calm down, he is just unconscious" "Let us do our work" failed to reduce my fears and anxiety.
As soon as we arrived at the hospital, medical language was flying around my ears like flies, and I noticed Aahil's family waiting for him. As they rushed him into the Operation Room I could feel his fingers slip away, as I tried to hold on. And just like that, he was gone. My heart cried in pain, as I realized I didn't know if he was coming back.
***********************************************
4 hours later
As Aahil had been taken into surgery, I had flopped down on the seat next to Aasma, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to process my thoughts. How four hours had gone by, I had no idea, because time had ceased to exist for me. I could feel the worry and concern of those around me. I could feel Begum Sahiba pacing up and down the hallway. I could feel Aasma and Latif's calming words and gestures, trying to make me feel better. But how could I feel better, when my husband was out there fighting for his life. My mind and body were in a kind of pain that made me numb. My heart felt like it was slowly and painfully being crushed to dust. I guess my tear ducts had dried up as well, as I felt the dampness on my cheeks.
For four hours, just like time, my body had stood still. Without reaction. And then the doctor emerged, causing my brain to reboot as we all scurried to him for more information. The look on his face made me want to give him plastic surgery.
He spoke slowly, in a monotonous tone. "External injuries are not as grave, but... there was huge amounts of internal bleeding. His spleen and spine have taken the hit. But the worse hit was taken by his brain.That is why his condition is critical. Currently his body is in an unresponsive, paralyzed state. We need to keep him under observation for the next 12 hours, before we can proceed. But..." he took in a deep breath "In cases like these, chances of survival are...minimum. So... I suggest you call the rest of your family." And with that he left.
I suggest you call the rest of your family. As it hit me what that line meant, I felt the floor beneath my feet slip away, as I clutched my chest and fell to the ground to keep it from shattering into a thousand pieces. I could hear begum sahiba scream at the doctor "What do you mean call your family! How can you say this! You are the doctor, it is your job to do your best to save your patient, not come here give me some statistics about these kind of cases. How dare you say my son is going to die?! You better do everything..." But by now their voices were muffled as I felt a void engulf me, pulling me into an emptiness...a darkness. I felt my stomach go hollow. I didnn't realize my own movements as I got up, lifeless and walked away.
I kept on walking, unaware of what was going around me, unaware of where I was headed, as the doctor's words kept ringing in my ears.
His spleen and his spine have taken a bad hit...but the worse... his brain...paralyzed state, unresponsive. His brain...the worse hit... Chances of survival...minimum... call the rest of your family... internal bleeding...chances of survival...minimum... paralyzed state... and then I could hear Aahil's muffled voice whispering in my ear over and over... I'm sorry too...for everything... Sanam... I'm sorry...I love...i... for everything...I'm sorry...Sanam...Sanam...I Love...
With my hand over my ears, I collapsed to the floor once again, trying to make the voices go away. But as I did, more voices came back... this time they were mine.
"I hate you! I feel suffocated in this marriage, in this house, living with you. I feel like I'm in a prison. I cannot wait for the day that I will leave you forever!"
"Stop!! Stop!!" I screamed in agony my ears burning with pain, as once again fear filled me and my worst thought crept into my brain- I may never see him again. I slowly opened my eyes as they burned. I looked around to see I was on the floor in a dark room, with a few candles burning, as I saw a sign that read "Prayer room." And the tears came back gushing, but I was glad. Glad to find this room, as prayer was the only thing that could stop the fiery pit of pain and panic in my body right now.
I folded my knees, getting in a position to pray, as I shut my eyes, letting my emotions overtake me, as my tears were back with full force.
The moment I shut my eyes, a distant, hidden memory came back to me.
I saw myself, arms around Aahil, hugging him begging him to not let go. To hold me safe, saying I didn't want to die. I remembered him, holding me tight, and safe... prmosing to keep me safe and sound.
My eyes suddenly flashed open as I remembered every detail of that night I clung to him, and with that came back a hundred other memories. Of how he had kept me safe, saved me from that washing machine, stood up for me in front of his family, cared for me. His kind gestures, his kind smile...his apologetic eyes, everything started coming back to me, as my heart leaped at the thought of losing him.
I closed my eyes again and prayed.
Ya Allah, please Aahil ki jaan baksh do. Please save him. He is a kind man with a big heart. He doesn't deserve this. I... I don't know why my heart is in my throat, I don't know why I feel hollow inside at the thought of never seeing him again. I don't know why at this very moment I want to rush to his side and slap him awake, and let him know that I am here. That I will be here as long as he needs me. I don't why I feel like I need him more than he will need me. I don't know what my heart is feeling... but I know it's not going to go away... All I know is I cannot stand him in pain like this. All I know is I don't want my husband to die. I don't want to lose him...I feel incomplete without him. Please, you have to save him, you have to... I pleaded my words barely audible.
I paused for a moment regaining what little strength I had left and this time spoke as if Aahil was next to me, remembering his words once more "Sanam...I love..."
"Aahil... you better wake up. You better snap out of it. As your wife I have every right on your life, I own your life, like you own mine...so you have to wake up damn it! I promise we won't fight. I promise I will never fight with you again. Please just... Please wake up... Please come back to me." I whispered to myself.
In that moment I knew losing him would break me, and maybe... just maybe I knew why I felt this way.
I don't want to lose him. I... I need him.
I thought to myself as I continued to recite another prayer in his name.
[B]Hope you liked reading it. Let me know your thoughts. [/B]
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