~The Sunshine of My Life#2 AsYa FF~||Link to third thread PG 125 - Page 54

Zoya stared at Aahana completely bewildered on hearing "Mi" from her. It wasn't the first time she had heard her mumble the word. But this time it felt different. It felt as if Aahana had called out to her, and it warmed her heart beyond measure. But Aahana's eyes were shut and she was in a deep peaceful slumber. Zoya's heart thawed when she realised that Aahana had unmindfully mumbled in her sleep.

Reliving the instance that had just passed, her heart longed for a moment when Aahana would term her as her "Mi! In that spur of a second her life had found a new meaning, a new hope to live and cherish. In that moment she had understood the basis of her feelings for Asad, what it would mean to love him. It would give her Aahana. A bundle of joy she was irrevocably in love with. She aroused in her a feeling that she had never been offered by her life, but she knew that feeling would grow in her each day, splurging into her heart and make her live a bond she had been unfortunate to lose at the tender age of three.

A day ago she had wanted to run away from Asad and anything to do with him so that she could kill any feeling for him that was threatening to rise. She was scared to fall in love, fearing a rejection and heart break. But today she wanted to be fearless, she wanted to embrace the same feelings she had been escaping for the little minx sleeping in her bed. One little word had her touch a pot of honey she now wanted for herself, one little word, unknowingly said had turned her world upside down.

Little did she know that a child's heart only longed for love and Aahana had suddenly begun to find the solace she had gotten in her mother's womb, the only association she had with her, now in Zoya's arms, in her loving and protective ministrations. Zoya had offered her a world Aahana hadn't known existed. She had a father who was her mother too, and that was what she knew about a parent, but the sudden admission of a partner in crime, a friend and companion in the form of Zoya had made her revel in a new bond she didn't recognise yet, but her innocent heart did.

Zoya got into the bed next to Aahana and hugged her closely, promising silently to give everything she had in her to offer, to the little sunshine. She didn't know how long she would be in this house, she didn't know what her future had in store, but she knew she would always have the biggest place in her heart for Aahana and ... Asad.

Thinking about him suddenly reminded her about the state she had left him in. She gently got out of the bed, tucked Aahana snugly and covered her with nest of pillows before leaving the room.

She picked up a first aid box on the way and marched to Asad's room which was as she had left it. She stood at the threshold and looked at the man she knew to be a pillar of the house now sitting on the floor, amidst a destroyed room, his back hunched and a bleeding hand lying across his knees carelessly.

She waded through the clutter across his room carefully, silently taking a seat next to him on the floor. Without a word she took his hand in hers, entirely expecting him to shrug it and push her away. But when he surprised her second time in the day by not driving her away, she realized just how weak he was.

Dabbing the cotton with some antiseptic she softly pressed at his injury earning a hiss from him. She immediately blew air over it to sooth the sting. She looked up to see him stare downwards, not looking up, not responding. It had been the worst day of his life she guessed, and to top it, her carelessness hadn't eased anything for him.

"I am sorry Mr Khan..." Zoya whispered looking at Asad even though her hands were working on his wounds. He didn't react and Zoya hadn't even hoped for him to.

"I am sorry for your loss Mr Khan, I am sorry that you couldn't be with your Abbu in his last moments, I am sorry that you can't be with him now, in his last journey abode." Zoya said sympathetically, sweetly caressing his physical wound, but hoping to reach out to the ones deep under, on his heart.

Asad fisted his hand hearing her words, unknowingly taking her hand in his hold and clasping it.

"Mr Khan!" Zoya winced.

Zoya raised her other hand and squeezed his arm gently, "You're hurting yourself Mr Khan." Zoya whispered making Asad stare at their clasped hands, and then at her realising he was hurting her. But still she chose to see his hurt first?

Asad released her hand and raised his head to look at her. Zoya saw the unsaid apology in his eyes and nodded reassuring him.

"It's okay Mr Khan. You don't have to be sorry, nothing you do can be worse than what I did today, though unknowingly, but I am the reason all this happened."

"No Zoya, nothing is your fault, everything that's gone wrong is my fault." Asad said finally breaking his age long silence.

"Mr Khan it's not your fault you came to save me when you should have been at the hospital."

"But it's my fault that I knew Mr Rashid wasn't well and did nothing about it."

Zoya was surprised at his confession, he knew? But now was not the time to question him.

"I am sure you have a good reason for not letting anyone know." Zoya said firmly.

Asad was taken aback at the confidence in her tone. She cared for the reasons? She didn't think he was wrong. For a minute he looked up at her in hope, wanting to smile, but remembering his Ammi's words halted right away.

"But Ammi doesn't think so. She thinks I am like the man who left her for someone else. And if she thinks I am wrong, I must be." Asad said harshly.

"Yes you are." Zoya said making him smile sadly, she had accepted it too.

"But people make wrong decisions, and at times they aren't even wrong from their point of view. You seem wrong to Phuppi because she has had to pay for a wrong move on your part."

Asad looked at her confused not quite understanding what she was trying to explain.

"Mr Khan I don't think she meant a word of what she told you. She is shattered, aggrieving the death of her husband, a man she has loved all her life. Just because he wasn't loyal doesn't mean she ever stopped loving him."

Asad was surprised to hear her talk about his past, so she knew.

"She's always been at the receiving end Mr Khan. Unse kabhi kisi ne nahi poocha ki woh kya chahti hai. She had to live by the decisions made by others for her life. I think she was disappointed because you took a decision for her, something she hadn't expected you to do. Ye unke liye bahut mushkil waqt hai. Woh naaraz hai par aapse nahi, apni destiny se, jisne unhe unki shauhar se aakhri baar milne ka mauka nahi diya. She's upset because she didn't get to spend a normal life and marriage with a man she loved so dearly, that she was so devoted to."

" She's been hiding all her pain, all her ordeal for you and Najma, so that you both can move on, but it doesn't mean she ever stopped hurting Mr Khan. Your Abbu's death has just opened the lid to years of suppression. And it's natural for her to have had an outburst like that. Jab insaan gusse mai hota hai, woh nahi sochta hai woh kya keh raha hai, aur kabhi kabhi woh bahut si aisi baatein keh deta hai jinhe woh manta bhi nahi hai. And you should know that more than anyone else isn't it?" Zoya said almost taking a teasing tone.

Asad's lips twitched slightly, almost bordering at a smile. Zoya saw him more at ease and began bandaging his hand.

Zoya's gentle touch on his hand, and her kind, understanding words comforted him so deeply, leaving a feeling he hadn't felt in a really long time. He had never really let anyone in, never let anyone know his feelings, or justified himself to anyone but his Ammi and Ayesha, but her compassion, her strength and just her being what she was, so pained herself but always so strong, made him want to pour his heart out to her.

"Rashid's saab's wife Shireen is a an unkind, rude woman Zoya. She and his entire family, except Ayaan and my sisters have always insulted Ammi. I don't even understand why, because they are the ones who snatched our happiness, our family, not the other way around. Maybe its insecurity, maybe it's how they are, but Ammi has always borne humiliation because of them."

"He left us, it was his mistake, he was greedy, didn't value Ammi's love. But all her life, my Ammi has been questioned, she has been maligned and doubted over the separation and Shireen and her family have only encouraged that at every occasion they got. In spite of all this Ammi still so deeply cares for that man. One call from him and she goes running to meet him, whether it puts her life, her respect at stake. I knew if I would tell her about his ill health, she would run to be with him, would want to tend to him, take care of him, even at the cost of coming back heartbroken after all the ungrateful spiteful treatment on their part. I didn't want Ammi to go through all that Zoya. I know I am wrong I took a decision for her, I shouldn't have. And believe me, had I known he was so sick I wouldn't have taken this decision at all. But I did, and I've ended up hurting her all the same. How different am I to the man who was responsible for her incomplete broken life. "Asad said, his voice shaky.

Zoya sighed feeling his pain and confusion, understanding his intentions and his turmoil.

"Nahi Mr Khan, aap unke jaise nahi hai, aapne unhe dard se bachane ke liye dard diya hai, anjaane mai. You meant to protect her. But she isn't going to understand this at the moment Mr Khan. She's lost a chance to spend one last moment with the love of her life. It'll take her a while to calm down and understand the situation. You'll just have to give her some time. And if she won't vent her anger on you, who else does can she rightfully do that with. No one else would understand, but somewhere deep down she knows you will."

"You did I didn't.." Asad said looking at her in awe, extremely grateful.

"You're going through the same as she is Mr Khan. You've lost your father too, lost the chance to meet him one last time. It's normal that you aren't in a condition to comprehend anything this moment."

Asad's eyes darkened at the mention of Rashid, his hands retreating from her hold. But she held them back again.

"Mr Khan you need to be with your Ammi and Abbu right now, they need you." Zoya stated firmly, not a hint of uncertainty or fear in her voice.

Asad looked up at her blunt statement trying to pull his hand away, but she held on. She knew he needed someone, someone to hold him, someone to assure him, someone to show him the right way.

Asad looked away, his jaw rigid,"Ammi doesn't want me to be there Miss Farooqui, didn't you hear what she said."

"Didn't YOU hear what she said Mr Khan? Of course she wants you there. She was angry and disappointed only because she thought you swayed from your duties. You're only listening to her words, not the underlying meaning, not what she's really trying to convey to you. You are Rashid Ahmed Khan's first son and whether you like it or not, he is your Abbu. And today when he's waiting to take his last journey, he needs you to be with him. And more than anyone your Ammi needs you. You have to do this for her... and for yourself. Or else you'll be left with the guilt of not doing what you should have, all your life. Go Mr Khan, please go, Phupi needs you, Najma needs you and Ayaan.."

Ayaan Oh God, Asad scrunched his eyes, how had he not thought of his little brother. He needed him the most. He had lost everything so suddenly, and was left with the responsibility of the entire family on his shoulders.

"I am in such a mess, how did I get so selfish, I didn't even think of that boy Zoya.." Asad looked up at her miserably, his eyes dripping with extreme guilt.

"You're only human Mr Khan, you can't be expected to never make a mistake. I am almost perfect but I made one too and I can't tell you how sorry I am." Zoya said trying to make light of the situation and it worked. Asad almost chuckled at her words and finally held her hand keeping his other palm over hers in his hand and squeezed gently, conveying his thank you.

"Go Mr Khan."

Asad nodded and got up, and stopped to look back at her uncertainly," Aahana's with me I'll take care of her, don't worry." Zoya assured reading his worry even though he hadn't voiced it.

Asad smiled at her gratefully, feeling less burdened less guilty, content that someone understood and that he had someone to fall on. He was amazed at how mature Zoya could be when needed, and how amazingly she had woven his home together at the time of need as if it where hers too.

He nodded and walked till the door but turned around once to see Zoya trying to clean the mess in his room. Ironical how she had just cleared him from the mess he was in too. Something made him stride up to her, pull her up from by her elbow and take her in his arms.

Zoya held her breath, taken aback by the sudden gesture. Asad hugged her close, his head resting on hers.

"Mr Khan?" She whispered.

But he remained silent and only pressed her closer. Zoya smiled and wound her arms around him, hugging him back. She squeezed his shoulders, providing him with the comfort, the strength and the support he needed at that moment.

"It's going to be okay!" Zoya mumbled and she felt Asad nod against her neck.

Asad moved back and smiled at her slightly, a smile that didn't reach his eyes, a dark shadow looming over them.

Asad impulsively bend closer, and kissed her temple affectionately," Thanks Zoya, thank you so much."

And nodding a good bye, walked out of the door leaving a slightly shocked but smiling Zoya behind. She sighed to herself, worried for him, for her Phuppi and Tamatar. She hoped they would get through this trying time without hurting more than they were.

And she also knew that even though she had managed to get through Asad successfully, though he seemed to have uplifted from his shell but he needed to face his heart which he still hadn't. He had like always not even given a thought about what he was feeling, pushing it all in the corner of his heart. She had no idea how he was going to cope, what he was going to do, but she knew she was going to be there for him when he came back and when he broke down.

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