FaultInMyStars thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
Hello guys! I know I haven't updated my other works for long but here is a short OS I had to write in five minutes for a competition but opted out of it because of tiredness. Hope you people will like it.
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It had been seven years since he had last seen her...seven years since he had last talked to her...seven years since he threw her out of his life...seven years since she never looked back at him. But in those seven long years, there hadn't been a single moment when he hadn't missed her, he hadn't thought of her or he hadn't regretted his words to her. Today, as she stood on his doorstep, he felt his eyes widen up and his cheeks feeling wet as she stared at him. They stood still looking at each other, the surroundings, the world...nothing mattered anymore! Once again, as always, it was only 'him & her'. His lips lifted a bit as he noted that she looked still the same-the same ethereal beauty she had always been. As he opened his mouth to say the words he could never tell her in past, no matter how much she had pushed him back then, the words he kept uttering to himself, the walls, her photographs after she had left...his eyes tore away from her as a cute little boy came running towards them and looked up to her with two cute dimples digging his cheeks on both sides. He looked at her as she jerked as if coming out of a trance & looked down at the little boy wiping her tears!
Ammi...aap kyun ro rahi ho?
He looked at the kid & then at her as she looked at him with a strange emotion in his eyes...may be hurt and helplessness?! A single drop of tear rolled down her eyes as she whispered
Aarif...please go and play beta.
I understand Ammi. You can talk to uncle. I am going to play with MisSu Abbu. But please don't cry, okay? You know Aarif hates to see Ammi sad!
She laughed a bit through her tears & said
Okay my baby! I know Aarif is the best!
She bent down & kissed Aarif on head & hugged him tight. Aarif gave her a kiss & ran away.
She looked at her baby's retreating back. He was still speechless. His deepest fears were confirmed. The glass of water he was holding slipped down his hands & landed on the ground beside his feet with a thud as the water splashed everywhere & the glass was shattered to pieces. He looked at her accusingly with bloodshot eyes. She looked back at him & said:
I am not back here to cause any problem or storm in your perfect life MrKhan! I am here just for Aarif. He is not going to survive for more than a month! (She choked on her voice & continued). From the time of his birth, his biggest & only wish has been to know his Dad...to spend time with his Dad...to play with his Dad...I want to fulfill his wish...his last wish! I promise not to bother you af...

She couldn't complete her words as he rushed forward & took her in a bone-crushing hug. He hugged her close to his chest murmuring "I am so sorry Zoya!" as clunged onto him tightly for his love, support and...security! Yes, there had been mistakes...on both sides & now it was time to rectify them. On this promise day, they made this promise to each other that no matter what, they will never leave each other & fight everything together!
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Hope you liked it! The ending is something I think could have been better...but I didn't get any other idea in mind then.

Do like & Comment!😃
Preetiā¤ļø
PS- Needless to say, AsYa=KaBhi for me! But you are free to imagine whoever you want!šŸ˜‰

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farz_parachute thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#2
So very poignant!

You write with such clarity! And I am so impressed by your language command. This work of yours is so beautiful.


It also brought me back to a scene from Humsafar, where something similar happened.

Very touching. Touched a certain unknown chord in my heart!



Impressive piece of work this is!

Thanks for sharing this with us!


Edited by farz_parachute - 11 years ago
SH7_Sunny thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Elite Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 11 years ago
#3
res
unres

preeti it was a nice update
it was a emotional one...
Loved it
but dont end there...
I want to read more of it...
Do continue this OS soon...
Update soon n thanks for the pm
Edited by --SH7_Sunny-- - 11 years ago
FaultInMyStars thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
Salman looks in your DP!
Azraa01 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
It was very emotional.. However I feel you could've ended with the father son official introduction..
KulfiBai thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#6
Preetiii don't frickin' end it there PUH-LEASE!

I loved it! You're a fab writer :)

Seriously, don't end it there. Write another part? :D
treasure11 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7
GOOD ONE PREETI
😊
Chahat_A_Doshi thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 7
Posted: 11 years ago
#8

Touching

Could you continue like a TS or max 3 parts

I would really love to see AsYa together as a team taking care of their ailing child; how Arif and Asad come t know each other; Arif gets to meet his dad and they spend time

Miss U Abbu he has that toy so cute

It reminded me a bit of Kaash where a divorced couple come together for their who has very little time

He passes away and the only thing his mother says to his father "bring me back my child" The end of the movie was the parents beginning their life again.

Awesome TG I logged back

Edited by Chahanya - 11 years ago
countingstarz thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#9
Okay this is sad man , I hope the little kiddo lives 🄺 I'm always a sucker for stories like this but yours was too short 😔 šŸ˜† You totally need to continue 😳
FaultInMyStars thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 11 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: Azraa01

It was very emotional.. However I feel you could've ended with the father son official introduction..

I wanted to write that too but didn have time then & I was already exceeding the word limit for that!

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