~ The Sunshine of My life ~ AsYa FF||Part 14 Page 129 NOTE PG 140 - Page 77

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Zoya smiled as she saw Aahana move her face side to side to evade Zoya's hair that were tickling her as she changed Aahana's nappy. When she failed at escaping them she smartly thought of getting back at Zoya and held a fistful of her hair tugging at them

"Ow!"Zoya winced and twitched her mouth in mock annoyance," Do good girls do like that? Aahana is a good girl right? I don't think so." Zoya said pretending to be stern by glaring at her.

Aahana stared at Zoya as if she had understood what she had just uttered and pursed her lips almost on the verge of bursting into tears.

"Aahana isn't a good girl ... she is the best in this whole wide world isn't it?" Zoya said cheerfully and lay down next to Aahana after packing her properly and cuddled her closer kissing her cheeks fervently, as Aahana chuckled and kicked her feet in excitement as she always did.

Zoya smiled at her feeling blissful hearing her mesmerising laughter and lay staring at her as Aanu played with her own fingers and toes. But soon she was bored and wanted to get down to doing every mischief she could. Aahana struggled to sit up but every time she would lose her balance and fall on her back. Zoya observed her making all the effort silently curious to see how she would get up.

Aahana realised that she wouldn't be able to get up nor was she going to get any help. But she wasn't the one to give up nor throw tantrums to get her way. She was Asad Ahmed Khan's daughter and would get whatever she wanted without asking for it. She pushed herself down on the bed sliding away slowly by crawling on her butt. She slowly reached the edge of the bed and not realising that she couldn't slide anymore fell on the floor hitting her bum to it. Zoya gasped and got up in a hurry to check on her as Aahana began to wail.

"Nothing happened, nothing at all.."Zoya whispered and took her in her arms. Zoya rocked her and sang a lullaby she remembered Api would sing to her. Her soft loving voice distracted Aahana as she looked up from her doe eyes at Zoya sniffing as water ran down her eyes and nose. Zoya kissed her wet cheeks and hummed to her as she wiped her face with the corner of her sleeves. Aahana snuggled closer to her and hid her face in her shoulder. Zoya dropped a kiss on her hair and continued to sing to her softly.

As Aahana calmed down by her warmth her mood changed back like before and she struggled to move away wanting to get down to have all the fun. She mumbled incoherently and kicked her legs indicating to Zoya that she wanted to get down. Zoya placed her on the floor and she crawled to her play area in the corner of the room. She fidgeted with her things kept there, throwing the toys aside that she was too bored to play with.

Zoya shook her head smiling and went to pick them up,"Akdu Abu Khan kamre ki haalat dekhenge toh aur gussa ho jayenge, not like gussa hone ki koi scope baaki hai." Zoya spoke to a busy Aahana remembering how Asad had gone back to himself in the morning. After spending some fun time bathing and dressing Aahana, Asad had suddenly left for office after changing in the other room requesting Zoya to take care of Aahana as he needed to rush to the office for some urgent work. But she knew something was off. In the last two days she had seen a new Asad and had begun to understand him and his moods a little. She knew he tried to suppress himself, his smile, the happy life he could live, but his desire of breaking free came forth a number of times when he lost that restraint. But as soon as he would realise what he was doing he would build the walls around him again. She had seen his eyes even as he had tried hiding them, and she could feel as if he had suddenly had some sort of realisation. A realisation that had suddenly broken the mirage he was living by.

As Zoya cleaned the room, picking Aahana's toys strewn all over, she came across a small pink album. She picked it up curiously and opened it to see some family pictures of the Khan's in it. She sat down next to Aahana and flipped through the book smiling at the pictures of this loving family. She saw how in most of the pictures Asad either had his half smiles or no smiles at all. As she flipped through the rest of it she came across his pictures with Ayesha. And soon every picture she saw had a wider smile on Asad's face. They looked so much in love, respect and admiration for each other clearly visible in the pictures. Aahana saw Zoya busy elsewhere and suddenly demanded attention not liking how her interest lied anywhere else but on her. She crawled to her and clambered on her lap, Zoya instinctively pulled Aahana on her lap and keeping the album in front of her continued to go through it. Aahana thumped the album merrily as she saw her family in those pictures. She pointed at Asad's picture,"Bu!"she exclaimed happily.

Zoya smiled as Aahana bend to lick the picture, how much she loved her father. She was lost in her thoughts when Aahana flipped the album and chimed,"Mi!" pointing to a picture of Ayesha. Zoya looked down at Aahana hitting her palms on a snap of Ayesha posing with Asad probably on the day of their nikaah and smiled sadly when Aahana smiled happily at her Ammi in the pictures. She kept mumbling Mi and Bu as a tiny tear made way out of Zoya's eyes she got emotional at the irony of the situation and at how innocent a child's mind was. She was unknown to the truth of her life, these pictures were all that she had of her Ammi, and maybe didn't even realise what an Ammi really was. She thought how her own situation was better than Aahana's. At least she had gotten the love of her mother for 3 years of her life before she lost her. At least she knew her Abbu was alive and there was hope that would find him somewhere. Aahana would never get that love and Asad? Asad lived with the truth of losing his wife and Aahana's mother everyday knowing well that those dreams they must have seen of a beautiful life would never come true. And just like that realisation dawned on her about the reason Asad had drawn back to his shell.

She sighed sadly feeling the urge to talk to him to help him get out of his misery. But she knew he would clam up more if provoked and that would only worsen the situation. But she had to do something, and she definitely would, she was Ms Zoya Farooqui after all.

"Prasad send me a cup of black coffee please!" Asad ordered on the phone as he sat massaging his head as it throbbed painfully. He was trying to work but the headache distracted him.

"Bhaijaan?" Asad heard Ayaan calling out and saw him standing at the entrance of the door. "Arey Ayaan andar aao na bahar kyun khade ho." Asad got up from his chair and walked towards Ayaan hugging him. He ruffled his hair lovingly and smiled, just like Aahana gave him peace when he hugged her closer, his younger brother gave him solace too, which he needed that moment.

"Yaha kaise aana hua Ayaan?"Asad enquired as he lead him to the sofa. "Woh kal raat mujhe achanak yun jaana pada, toh aaj milne chala aaya."

"Ab woh aapki mehmaan, woh kaisi hai?" Ayaan asked. "She's fine Ayaan, tum batao tum theek ho na?" Asad said wanting to change the topic before Ayaan got down to his mischief and provoked him.

"Theek hun, just needed to get away. Ghar mai stress itna bad gaya hai, kabhi kabhi waha se bhaag jaane ka mann karta hai." Ayaan said hunching his shoulders.

Asad ran his hand through Ayaans hair once lovingly in understanding, "Ayaan sab theek toh hai na? You look distraught."Asad asked in concern.

"Aap toh jaante hi hai maine bataya tha na, Abbu isn't keeping well. Aur apni naazuk haalat mai woh .. woh actually." Ayaan fumbled uncertain if should ask Asad the favour he needed.

"Kaho na Ayaan, when did you start to think before talking to me?" Asad inquired even as he wasn't sure if he wanted to know more about Rashid Ahmed Khan.

"Woh.. woh.. Abbu aapki Ammi se milna chahte hai." Ayaan finally spoke out and looked at Asad hesitantly.

"Kyun? Ab kyun milna chahte hai?" Asad asked as the frown on his forehead deepened and he got up from the settee.

"Bhaijaan unki tabiyat theek nahi hai, aisi haalat mai insaan galat baatein sochta hai, apnon ka saath chahta hai aur shayad isliye.."

"Hum kab se unke apne ho gaye Ayaan. Ab humara Rashid saab se koi taaluk nahi hai, toh kiss hasiyat se bula rahe hai Ammi ko." Asad spoke resolutely.

"Bhaijaan aise waqt mai toh aisi baatein mat kariye, Abu sirf ek baar aapki Ammi ko milna chahte hai, unke liye nahi toh mere liye?" Ayaan pleaded.

"Ayaan you know how much I love you. I can do anything you ask from me. But this is not about you and me, this is about Ammi. Tum bahut chote the par jab Mr Rashid Khan hume chod kar gaye toh Ammi pregnant thi, aur humari aisi haalat bhi nahi thi ki hum Ammi ki dawai afford kar sake. We've called and begged him to come back to us but he never did, and today he wants Ammi to come and meet him? Unke paas unki family hai na? Toh unhe humari kya zaroorat hai?" Asad pointed out angrily.

"Bhaijaan please..?" Ayaan beseeched.

"Ayaan.." Asad whispered exasperated and turned around. "I am sorry Ayaan, mujhe tumhe kisi bhi cheez ke liye na kehte acha nahi lagta, but you tell me what would you do if you were in my place?" Asad asked Ayaan and as expected Ayaan had no reply.

"I am sorry Ayaan, par mai Ammi ko phirse uss haalat mai nahi dekh sakta. Shayad Ammi ke waha aane se tumhare Abbu ko sukoon mil jaye, par waha se aane ke baad meri Ammi ka jo haal hoga woh mai nahi dekh sakta." Asad explained hoping Ayaan would understand.

"It's okay Bhaijaan I understand. Just because aapne poori umr meri har baat maani hai I don't expect you to agree to whatever I ask you for, itna bagerat nahi hun.. aap fikr mat kariye mujhe bura nahi laga." Ayaan promised as Asad smiled at his suddenly mature brother and hugged him.

As Ayaan left, Asad slid back on the couch sipping on his coffee as his head throbbed harder. Had he done the right thing? Was he correct in deciding for his Ammi? All said and done Rashid was his father and at times like these even enemies would be more human, wasn't that what his Ammi had taught him? But what was the harm in avoiding a situation that would later hurt his mother deeply. What was he to do?

"Phupi Najma!" Zoya exclaimed happily as she opened the door to them with Aahana on her hip, who was pulling at her hair.

Zoya hugged them both lovingly,"I missed you both so much, ab phir se kahi mat jayega..mujhe aadat nahi aapke bina rehne ki." Zoya sulked. Dilshad kissed her forehead affectionately and then looked at Aahana who was busy playing with Zoya. Zoya was trying to pull her hair out of her hold as Aahana kept pulling at it chuckling in enjoyment.

"Ammi dekh rahi hai aap hum dono Aahana ko har second miss kar rahe the aur isse dekhiye hum kabse aaye hai lekin humari taraf dekh bhi nahi rahi hai." Najma complained making Zoya and Dilshad laugh.

Zoya held Aahana higher and removed her hair from her hold,"Look whose here Aanu, Dadi and Phupi, remember Abu told you in the morning to welcome them with a smile? Come on be a good girl." Zoya mumbled to Aahana nuzzling her nose with her and pecking it cutely.

She smiled at the bond between Aahana and Zoya as she saw Zoya pass her to Najma as all the three played together.

"Chaliye ab aap dono freshen up ho jaye, maine khaana banaya hai." Zoya informed them as she pulled them to their room. Dilshad smiled at her affectionately, touched by her love and concern.

When they came back for dinner they saw Aahana in her high chair Zoya feeding Aahana her food. In between her morsels she arranged Asad's cutlery as he liked and would get back to feeding as soon as Aahana would bang the table demanding for food.

"Arey chaliye aap dono waha kyun khade hai, khaana kha lijiye." She got up wanting to serve both of them. Dilshad saw the food that lay on the table, almost all of it Asad's favourites and smirked to herself.

"Do dino baad ghar hum aaye hai aur khaatir saari Asad ki ho rahi hai?" Dilshad teased her.

Zoya looked at Dilshad dumbfounded,"Nahi Phupi aisa nahi hai.. uh.. aur mujhe kaise pata hoga ki unhe kya pasand hai, maine toh ye sab aise hi bana diya tha kyunki ghar mai kaafi baar bante dekha hai." Zoya explained embarrassed.

Dilshad smiled and sat down to eat. "Bahut hi acha bana hai Zoya," she praised her food as she ate relishing it. Zoya beamed at her praise happy at the achievement, hoping Asad would like it as well and his mood would change for the better. "Asad ko bhi acha lagega," Dilshad stressed as she saw Zoya looking away hopefully.

Zoya didn't respond this time and busied herself in wiping Aahana's face and getting her out of the high chair as she had begun to sulk.

"Waise sab kuch theek tha na Zoya, I mean humare peeche se Asad ne pareshaan toh nahi kiya na?" Dilshad asked curiously.

"Nahi nahi phupi aisa kuch nahi hai, Mr Khan mujhe kyun pareshaan karenge, hume koi dikhat nahi hui in fact woh to..."Zoya ranted mindlessly and then halted realising she would give away details about what happened the night before. She knew Asad hadn't wanted Dilshad to worry "Uh Phupi aap log so jayega Mr Khan ko shayad deri ho jaye, unhone message kiya tha."

"Bhaijaan ne? TUMHE message kiya tha? Unbelievable." Najma repeated what Zoya said in surprise making Zoya take offence,"Kyun? Woh mujhe message nahi kar sakte?"

"Agar aap dono normal hote toh shayad itni surprise nahi hoti mai," Najma commented making Dilshad chuckle.

Zoya frowned," Mai normal hun, tumhare bhaijaan hi abnormal hai ..itni baar phone kiya uska reply nahi kiya unhone, ghanton baad ek message bhej diya." Zoya complained.

Dilshad laughed freely at Zoya, somehow gauging the change in Zoya now.

"Zoya tum bhi khaana kha lo lao mai Aahana ko sambhalti hun." Dilshad said and picked up Aahana.

As Dilshad and Najma sat down in the living room playing with Aahana, Dilshad saw Zoya peck at her food and look at the clock every now and then. Minutes later the bell rang and Zoya immediately got up to open the door.

She opened the door to an extremely exhausted Asad waiting to crash," Mr Khan kaha the aap itni der, pata hai Aahana aapka kabse intezaar kar rahi hai? Bu' ki ratt lagayi hui thi, subah bhi aap aise hi chale gaye usse mile bina." Zoya began her enthusiastic rant overlooking how disinterested and haggard Asad was.

Asad walked in the house to see Dilshad and Najma playing with Aahana and smiled for the first time in the day. He moved towards them to greet them. He kissed Najma's forehead and hugged Dilshad as she caressed his head lovingly.

"Kitne thake hue lag rahe ho, itni der ho gayi aaj?" Dilshad asked as Asad looked away unable to meet her eye.

"Kaam tha Ammi, aap bataye aapka safar kaisa tha? Nikaah kaisa raha?" Asad asked evading questions and he was successful as both the ladies gave him the details excitedly.

"Asad bahut tired lag rahe ho, freshen up and come for dinner." Dilshad spoke in concern. Zoya who had been standing a little away silently letting the family have their time spoke up."Ji Mr Khan dinner is ready, mai garam kar deti hun aap aaye."

"Mujhe bhook nahi hai, I think I'll just go sleep, laiye Aahana ko mujhe dijiye uske bhi sone ka time ho raha hai." Asad moved forward to pick Aahana up even as she jerked her legs wanting to play more.

"Mr Khan lekin aaj toh aap ghar se bhi tiffin liye bina chale gaye, poora din kuch khaya nahi hoga, it's not nice to skip meals. You have to eat." Zoya ordered in concern.

"I DON'T have to do anything Zoya, I know what's good for me. Aur mere office mai khaana milta hai, I didn't starve the whole day, thank you for the concern par mujhe nahi khaana." Asad said frustrated and walked away with Aahana, leaving a heartbroken Zoya behind.

Dilshad expected Zoya to run to break into tears but oh boy she was wrong. Zoya moved to the kitchen and removed Asad's plate she had kept in the microwave and stomped towards his room.

She barged inside unabashedly without knocking the door, not caring if he would give her another lecture.

"Ms Farooqui ye kya badtameezi hai, kam se kam knock toh kariye." Asad said buttoning up his half open shirt again.

Zoya looked away embarrassed but regained composure in seconds. "Ab aapko kya kaam hai, dekhiye I want to be alone right now, please leave!" Asad said exasperated.

"That is something you always want to do, wallow in your misery all alone." Zoya taunted not realising what she said in her anger, but wasn't that what he did as well, blurt anything in his anger. If he was justified so was she.

"YES that is exactly what I want, is that okay?" Asad yelled as he went near her holding her elbow to lead her out of the room.

"No it's not, mai aapka khaana layi hui hun kha lijiye." Zoya said firmly as she held out the plate.

"Aapko ek baar mai baat samajh mai nahi aati? I said I am NOT hungry." Asad said slowly intending to spell it out to her.

"But I know you are, it's not human to not feel hungry after an entire day of work. And anyway ye khaana maine banaye hai aur woh bhi itni mehnat se just for you, toh aapka khaana padega." Zoya said callously and realised only later what she had said.

"I mean uh maine itni mehnat se khaana banaya hai, it's an insult to me that you don't eat it Mr Khan, I will be offended."Zoya said covering up.

"So be it!" Asad barked.

"Mr Khan.." Zoya began again..

"Miss Farooqui why.. WHY are you troubling me? I already explained I don't want to eat.."

"Yeah because unlike you mai apna gussa kisi aur par nahi utarti. Ab dekhiye mai bhi toh aapse gussa hun for scolding me in front of everyone lekin phir bhi I didn't let it take over my good sense and humanity." Zoya taunted him as she walked over to the coffee table and placed the plate on it.

"Kha lijiyega jab bhook lage." Zoya muttered and walked out shutting the door behind her. Asad winced hearing it bang and sat down on the couch with Aahana in his arms trying to put her to sleep.

Why did he shout at Zoya? She was only being sweet. Somehow it just felt easier venting to her, she retaliated and said things that made him see sense and in the process any awkwardness that had crept between them dissolved by itself.

Aahana looked at her father who was more silent than his usual. He wasn't even looking at her, not even playing with her as he usually did at night. She kept her tiny palms on both sides of his cheek and pulled him to face her. She pulled herself up as she leaned her forehead on Asad's and tried hiding his face in her hold, indicating to him how she wanted all his focus JUST on her.

Asad chuckled at his adorable sunshine and pulled her closer rocking her lovingly holding her tight in his embrace. Aahana chuckled happy at her victory of earning his attention.

She bend down to reach the plate on the table and mumbled,"Mum mum" Asad assumed she was hungry.."Is Aahana hungry?" Asad tore a tiny morsel to feed Aahana. But she moved his hand to his mouth," Bu mum mum!" she burbled. Asad looked at her in awe touched at the baby's love for her father. Even though she was so small she realised the food was untouched and her father was hungry. He held her closer and smothered her with kisses. Just a tiny gesture from her had changed his day from miserable to an unforgettable one. He opened his mouth and ate that morsel his daughter had offered to her. As he ate his food he fed tiny morsels to her too.

"Asad!" Dilshad broke him from his reverie. He looked at his Ammi standing at the door and nodded at her,"Ji Ammi!" He looked down and saw that Aahana had slept off in his arms and got up to place her in the cradle.

"Ji Ammi kahiye.."Asad said sitting down next to Dilshad. "Kya baat hai Asad? You look preoccupied."Dilshad asked softly in concern as she softly stroked his head.

"Kuch nahi Ammi bas sar dard kar raha hai, it was a long day.." Asad said pressing his forehead. Dilshad nodded in understanding and gestured him to place his head in her lap.

"It's okay Ammi I've taken a pill, aap fikr mat kariye.."

"Asad! Jaisa kaha hai karo.." Asad complied to her and lay his head in her lap. As she massaged his forehead gently his stress dissipated. A mother's lap was every child's personal haven he thought.

He opened his eyes and stared at her as she smiled at him lovingly. "Ab batao kya baat hai."

Asad smiled knowing well she wouldn't give up till she knew it. "Kuch nahi Ammi .. aaj Ayesha ka bahut khayal aa raha tha. Uske bina sab kuch incomplete lagta hai Ammi."

"Asad woh kami toh humesha hurt karegi, you'll always miss her. Especially with Aahana growing up, learning to crawl, learning to talk, doing something new every day. Har uss din Ayesha ki yaad aayegi hi, you'll want to share those moments with her.." Dilshad said understanding his plight.

"But Asad the same person will help you overcome all these thoughts too. Aahana is a blessing Asad, she is a part of Ayesha, a part she has left behind for you."

Asad nodded as he held her palm and kissed her hand, "Ammi it troubles me everyday how Aahana is missing out on all of what Ayesha wanted her to have in abundance. I want to shower Aahana with everything there is but this is something even I cannot fulfil." Asad sighed.

"To fulfil what you want her to have you'll have to move on Asad, phir ek baar..."

"Nahi Ammi please, phirse woh baat nahi. Aap janti hai mere iss baat ko lekar kya khayal hai. Mai phirse kisi aur se pyar nahi kar paunga."

"Maine pyar ki nahi nikaah ki baat ki hai Asad, pyar karne ke liye nahi keh rahi.."

"Nahi Ammi I won't allow anyone in my life anymore, and not in Aahana's either. Log aate hai aur phir chale jaate hai we're the ones who are left back. I've coped with it but I don't know if Aahana would or if I even want her to."

"Ammi mujhe neend aa rahi hai, bahut raat ho chuki hai ab aap bhi so jaye.."Asad whispered as Dilshad nodded in defeat. She bent down and kissed his forehead bidding him a good night.

That night when she prayed to Allah she asked for strength to fulfill what she had asked for from Asad. Though he ran away from any attachments, love or marriage she knew his heart craved for someone. And she had seen that yearning in his eyes today.

As she thought about him she remembered how concerned Zoya had been for him, how bothered she was that he hadn't eaten, how close she and Aahana had gotten, how compassionate she was to everyone in the house. She was sure Zoya didn't even realise what she felt and she probably didn't even feel so strongly about anything yet , but Dilshad was a mother and a woman herself and she could gauge what no one could. She smiled to herself as she thought about what she was going to do..

NEXT PART

Amazing update. Wat dilshad thnk..asad vp dfntly do fr ahana...

Waiting fr nxt