~ Everything won't be same anymore ~
I stood there leaning against the window which was partially broken due to the force with which I pushed Ayaan. There I was standing and seeing Zoya break down in front of me. How can I give away someone so dear, so precious to me? How can I give away the girl I love, the only girl I'll ever love? How can Ayaan even dare to ask for my bride to save nikhat's wedding? Not able to hold back the tears anymore I let them fall freely. They say crying helps ease the pain and so I cried. Cried because of these cruel games that destiny keeps playing with me. I paced around my room and tried to think rationally but my mind refused to think anything. Why did destiny want me to choose between my sister and Zoya? If only Ayaan could've asked for my life, I would've found it easier to give but how can I give Zoya? Today was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. We were going to get married finally after all that we've been through but destiny had some plans in mind. My mind went back to the time when I promised Zoya I would never leave her, when I promised her that this time nothing could come between us, not knowing my own brother will come between us. I looked back at the time when we hugged, sealing a thousand unsaid promises and then I looked back at the number of times Zoya promised to fulfill her marriage till eternity. Can I really make her break her promise? Can I bind her into this sham contract marriage? No, I can't but I have to. I have to keep Zoya away from me, our marriage needs to wait some more for the sake of Nikhat and her life because if anything happened to her I won't be able to forgive myself. It was all my fault, if only I had talked to Nikhat instead of just assuming things. Zoya always reprimanded me for jumping at conclusions, if only I had paid any heed to her. I walked towards her and as if she could read my thoughts she stood up and started moving away from me, all the while crying and justifying that the marriage was a mistake. How do I explain to her that no matter if their nikaah was a mistake, everyone had to pay it's price. I tried to assure her and to an extent even myself that it was all just a test of our love and that no matter where Zoya is, no matter where we are, our love for each other is true. It has gotten past all the trials and this was just one of them, I tried to assure her that our love was not weak and it will emerge victorious yet again, we will be together no matter what. I tried to hold her hand but she kept moving back, pleading me to not send her away to that house which I always hated with a passion and now that passion was renewed. She pleaded me to not send her away from me, from this family, from this home but I had no other option but to turn a deaf ear to it, I had no other option but to turn a blind eye to her tears that refused to stop flowing. I caught hold of her hand and dragged her out of the room. She kept trying to remove my vice like grip on her but I knew she was tired physically and emotionally to even remove my finger, yet she tried in vain to jerk off from me. Her cries grew louder and her pleading increased, it started to become increasingly difficult for me to not take her in my arms and tell her everything will be alright, to assure here that she won't be going anywhere without her permission. I ignored ammi and Najma calling out to me, I ignored the confused looks on the guests and I tried to ignore Zoya's cries. With a heavy heart I led her to the house that was responsible for stealing my happiness every time. I loathed that house for taking away people whom I love the most. I abhorred that house for taking away an abbu from a seven-year-old and I hated that house for taking away my life, my love. I led her inside the dreaded house and left her there. I tried very hard to not look at Zoya's despondent, crest-fallen face but I couldn't stop myself from looking at her one last time before closing the door. I began walking in a trance, trying not to care about the banging on the door and Zoya's voice calling out to me through the closed doors. All of a sudden it started raining, the sky mirrored my emotions and for the first time I welcomed the rain falling on me as rains were the perfect disguise to my tears. I lifted my face and tried to wash off the image of the hurt look on Zoya's face as I left her in that house but her face refused to erase. Her face as she pleaded and begged for me to not leave her and her tears will forever be etched into my mind and no matter how much I tried to remove it, it will never go away. No matter if we get back together once this contract marriage is annulled, her dejected face will never leave my eyes. The sound of her sobs as I led her out of my house and into Ayaan's will keep coming back to haunt me in my nightmares. No amount of redemption will ever be able to erase the hurt caused to her. And for that I will never be able to forgive my brother, I will never forgive Ayaan for snatching away the only woman I love and no matter how temporary this separation might be, no matter if I keep telling myself this was just a test of our love and it will get over soon, deep inside I knew that everything will not be normal again, everything won't be the same anymore.
XXX
Comments please!
Love,
Sadie!
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