Asad- A Soul, Tormented: completed - pg11. - Page 8

Originally posted by: MisHumptyDumpty

I am trying to comment ever since morning but like Asad am frustu too cause koi naa koi kuch naa kuch aahi jata hai beech mein 😡

to start with

you were listening to Aa Chal ke Tujhe while you wrote it right? Bolo bolo?

read it with ease! WOOWE THIS IS A MASTERPIECE 👏

😳😳😳 Kitna blush karaogi, mujhe?

before i give my snape approve, i would say the parts i loved.

1. Asad waiting outside the ICU and other patients giving him a heartache and realization 😳

picture perfect. I read in school a story in hindi, CHAPPAL was the name, it had the same setting, where the narrator was waiting and he got the realization with the heartache through the scenes he saw while waiting outside! Inspired from there kya? 😆

Nahi...must be inspired from the countless movies with the same scenario...😆

2. Appi's role

prefect. yes this is why Appi has been brought into the picture, Because no one is there to justify Zoya from her PROV. And she is too selfless to do so. Appi is there to give Asad insight to make Asad realize, that what she did in the show too! Chikaass! BAnged it on! I want something like this too in the show. Cause Asad needs to realize what his actions lead to and what others think of it.

p.s. what the forum wale think 🤣

He needs an adult's supervision not like Dilshu moma who only rules on him, but like Appi who understands him corrects him hence forth! 😆

My aapi is strong, because her sis almost died...she had to be...otherwise she is another hopeless case, emotionally challenged like Asad Miyan.😉

3. Ayaan's role

Ayayayaya! He is nice! 😆 why did i not see him more? I wanted to 😭 Well true, Zoya knows Ayaan trusts her more than Asad. but then at the end of it, Zoya loves Asad unconditionally, so for her she will crush her ego and go back to Asad no matter what! Played well with his character. Asad needed that on his face to realize what Trust is! 😆

😳 Thanks. had some more bhabhi pyar in mind - didn't want it to backfire- I toned down his role, actually.

4. Zoya

Played well again! liked the parts where she was groggy and wanted to clear the confusion! I loved the dream.Reminded me of Twilight part 1 somewhere 😆 Great work with the dream i loved that part! Special Credit!

Aaawww...hmmm.. The dream was one part I really loved. Felt like hugging Zoya after I wrote it.😳

5. Asad

only one thing. He is just the guy from the show.

overall i just witnessed a masterpiece which was total QH-ian! 😳 😳 No you had not crushed my dreams. And it is your fic soo if you had given a justification with ayaan and zoya i would have enjoyed it too very well. But then i know how lazy bones you are! So thik hai! 🤣 🤣

How well you read me!!!🤣 In a matter of hours!🤣

After reading it full again all the parts together i was just like dilshu moma like here >

Great job cause this will remain my fav most SS 😳

also also also

Originally posted by: s120

Res

Unres

This was absolutely brilliant. 👏 So beautifully written. I love how you kept Asad and Zoya so true to their characters. How I wish we could get something along the similar lines in the show. I want Mangalpur part 2 😭 but there is no news of that yet.

My favourite bit was the ending. Loved these lines,

"Asad looked heavenwards, thanked Allah for the second chance, he knew he did not deserve. He looked at her tiny hand, now contained in his. She was indeed, an angel- the naughtiest one among the lot. And he had a lifetime to unravel this mystery of a woman...he would gladly spend an eternity doing just that."

Originally posted by: MisHumptyDumpty

please noodle dont be lazy and treat me more and more of your work pleaaaseee 😳

Originally posted by: Linsie

Thank you...super ending..

Originally posted by: chicksoup

NO way!

I wonder what made me write this one!😆 I don't think I have anything more to write about.😆

Said it all!

So you are telling me you wont \write?

Originally posted by: MisHumptyDumpty

you know what? sometimes i feel Appi should slap Asad tight super one! 😆 She is strong lady, how can he just go on hurting her? I got that essence in your Appi! 😳

that dream was exact the twilight one running behind the trees 🤣 i am not a lover of twilight btw 🤣

Just matter of hours? I know how lazy you are! 🤣 Ever since first 🤣

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏verrry nice!!