~ Kyun ~ A Zoya's Prov

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Daniela

@Dannyela

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#31

It was sooo nice<3. Cont soon:)

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Waqt Zaya

@WaqtZaya

Elite

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: blueflames
reswaa

unres

"hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte
tere bin kya wajood mera
tujhe se juda agar ho jayein ge tou
khud se ho jayein ge juda

Kyun ki

tum hi ho
zindagi abb tum hi hoo ...❤️

this song aptly describes Zoya's feeling... its the answer to all her whys and kyns,
Asad is her other half and they cant be separated.

you knw episode last night had a mute zoya, you gave voice to all her confusion, dilemma and hurt expressions, she was shown literally dumb, app ne uski dil ki baat keh di.👏

supperr se bhi upar depiction of feeling.👏

P.s- i wanted to kill you for being a zombie, bt then i canceled my plan, second thoughts..😉😳

P.S- the song in this post didnt work, so i played my Tum hi ho 😆😆

How addicted you are to this song Appuu! 🤣 Truly one of the beautiful songs i have heard till now! 😳

Appu i seriously am soo very tired 🥱 feeling like drooping deadwa now 😆 😆

Thank you Appu! You see When Ankie is here there's nothing to fear 🤣 so hence bichariee Mute Zoya ki awaaz bhi hum! Hogaye 🤣

Kill me appu, death is better, Life of a manic is taking a toll now 😭

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Laila Banu

@Laila2009

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#33

Interesting...but it kind reminds me of another short story: "Going Home' that was posted last week. Haven't finished reading it - it kept disappearing. I can even see some similarities. Were you inspired by it?

Here's what I, as a reader, am missing...I don't feel anything emotionally when I read this - sorry but i am going to be honest here. As a writer it is really important to look at your work and ask yourself, what emotion do I want my reader to have once they're done reading with this story.

I felt nothing. Did i feel sad for Zoya - no. i don't even care. I was not not drawn into the story. Zoya seemed like a cheesed of 16-year old who was throwing a tantrum and not a mature woman who was going to lose the love of her life.

It's also important that when you write, if you give too much thought and not enough feeling; you cannot draw in the reader. Show me that Zoya hurts and that is in pain from losing Asad. Also think of giving your reader a chance to breath; i was practically exhausted reading this - i felt I was in a race. It as "Asad did this, he did that and he won't do this." I realize you penned your thoughts late at night but in the morning, take a look at what you've written and ask yourself - what do you feel afterwards. That's the key to a good read.

The most successful story for me as been that by Chahaat. She has an amazing ability to draw in the reader. That is the key.

Please do not feel as though i am slamming you; i am trying to provide with constructive criticism so that when you write the second part, it will be something you can stand back and say :I really do like what I have written.

Edited by Laila2009 - 12 years ago

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blueflames

@blueflames

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: MisHumptyDumpty

How addicted you are to this song Appuu! 🤣 Truly one of the beautiful songs i have heard till now! 😳

Appu i seriously am soo very tired 🥱 feeling like drooping deadwa now 😆 😆

Thank you Appu! You see When Ankie is here there's nothing to fear 🤣 so hence bichariee Mute Zoya ki awaaz bhi hum! Hogaye 🤣

Kill me appu, death is better, Life of a manic is taking a toll now 😭

you have no idea abt this song, its still on loop 😆

and ankiewa you are not supposed to say thank you or its brother sister... seems like you are HigH 😉😉 nashe charhe huey hain obsession k 😳😳

nah nah itni jaldi maar dein,.. ye kaam Asad and \ZOya hi karein gey 😆😆

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karishma

@shanakyasharan

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#35

I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! omggg meri zoe😒 itna pyaar toh serial mein bhi nahi dikhati jitna tere OS mein dikhati hai

gosh i could so relate to her, damn u mr akdu khan...ek lafa doon kya🤔

i want to c wat happens next please please, take a week but continue this re, natak mat karna n do make a second part😳

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can call me Mrs Enrique Iglesias

@enrique

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#36

It was way 2 cool
I loved it
Sorry late reply kiya
The inner emotions wer awesome

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Waqt Zaya

@WaqtZaya

Elite

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: zan101
it's very nice..

Thank you. Hope it was worth your time! 😳

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Waqt Zaya

@WaqtZaya

Elite

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#38

Originally posted by: _A.i.s.h.a_
Amazing really really amazing!!!

Thanks deary! hope this was worth your time! 😳

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..vidhi..

@..vidhi..

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#39

beautiful!!!!👏

nd this was really cute-

"Main sirf coffee piti hoon, woh bhi black and bitter made by Mr Khan that even in my blue mug!"

i so want the next part noww...u don't dare leave us hanging!!!!

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Sohini Dasgupta

@.SoHu.

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#40

res..since i have my exams in tuition..wil come back n unres🤗

unres😃

ANKIE I was almost dumbfounded!!! I mean are you really Zoya farooqui?? I wish you were, then atleast I would have met KSG 🤗 😉
Coming back, this was juust what ZOYA would think and speak out if given a chance..The exact feelings of hers..The loss of family, the loss of her Mr.Khan and the pain that she never would be able to meet them ever again!!! 😭
What a post..bang on👏

Yet again you made my day 🤗

p.s: sorry I got late unressing it..had exams..and guess what it went amazing 😲 😆

Edited by sophiya_92 - 12 years ago

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