DISCLAIMER : Wrote this a night back on Sunday. Technically at 3:45 am of Monday Morning. Sorry for posting late cause you guys know how lazy I am to type. And then more over I was waiting for the episode, I don't know why! So I would request you to read this piece with an impression of ME still heavily drugged with the promo and jotting the emos down of Zoya according to the promo. Hence the main reason is why there is Dolly here.
Zoya's Prov
He didn't again care to listen to! He never does! Why would he? Who am I to him? NOTHING at the end of the day! Nothing but just a Mehman! Just a guest! He didn't even stop me once. Just once? Not even. . Ek baar bhi unhone nahi . . . Kyun ?
Kyun rokengey mujhe? Kyun ? He hates me! His stare! His eyes! So hateful! But then that is something not new for you Zoya, because they always said it all what he could not comprehend. Sab bayaan kar dete hai! Mujhe se nafarat karte hai, Mr Khan! It seemed that I was a contagious virus that he had finally got ridden off. NAHII! I was an unwanted cancerous growth which he had finally cut off from his body to give a sigh of relief. How could he stop me? Unh ek wajah ki zarurat chahiyeh! Wajah ki zarurat! And for knowing the wajah he has to listen to me! Aur unhe meri kyun sunni hai? Why would he ever listen to the reason to as why I was compelled to go there? And he says that I don't care about him! But Ayaan and his granny were right, people believe what they see. He cant see why i went there. He can only see what happened there. Unhe sirf wohi dikhta hai! He can only pass judgments on what the world projects onto him!
He knows everything each and everything still he thinks I - I dont know- I dont realize the value of family? Why Allah Miyaa? Why Why? Why with me? Mujhse kya gusktaki hogai thi jo Mr Khan ruled my zindagi too? Why Allah Miyaa? What had I done? He doesn't even bother to trust me even after what all happened all these months! And see his brother his father who have all reasons to take me as a hit man, trust me to be innocent before I can even explain my innocence to the world? Why can't he trust me? What do i do? Just to prove my innocence? Just to him? What do i do? Just to win his trust back again?
"Apki flight do ghante mein hai!" Mr Whatever's voice breaks me away from my trance.
My stomach starts to churn. Mr Khan's face floats in front of me. How can he not understand that i don't want to go. But how can he not? Ah! He could never hear my voice how can he read my eyes? How can he hear the inaudible screams of me protesting when the car detached me away from his house when he could not hear my repeated protesting wails in front of Phoopi? How can he? How could he? How could he? How possibly can he? I can never understand him.
The car stops with a jolt and i fall forward as a result. My right wrist reflexes so as i don't hurt m forehead but poor hand of mine. I could feel it getting twisted under my sudden weight over it. But the excruciating pain in my heart makes me forget all the possible pain on earth.
A TV Banner catches my eye as Dolly and Mr Whatever make me pass through the securities to International departure.
"Woh din ayega jab aapke zindagi ke sabse aachi ghadi aur Ranjhe ke din ki sabse buri ghadi ayegi!" The girl sternly exclaims.
The boy replies "Matlab?"
"Hum marjayengey!"
Dolly drags me away before I could hear the rest.
Yes Mr Khan i am going away, never to come back. Isn't this your best moment of your life? You always wanted this, ever since i came into your life. You judged me to be wrong ever since day one because i wear jeans; i deserve to be wrong cause of that. Even when you are so educated, so cultured, you can't see what real respect, what real culture is! Your ideologies never let you see what the truth really is.
See that now i am going away to comeback never. I know my Dimag says right you will not come to stop me. You wont.Your are not Ranjha I am not Heer! That we would ever meant to be.
Dolly passes me fresh stack of tissue papers and i blow my nose into them. I feel cold. A chill goes down my spine, i don't feel safe, feel secure, this place started to scare me, and i didn't know why. I clutch my purse tight as my lips quiver. I admit i wanted to be wrapped up into Phoppi's arms and Mr Khan's coffee warming my insides and his concerned gaze warming my outsides. My cheek hurt and i feel a sudden dizzy. I fumble down onto Dolly as Mr Whatever question me "Are you fine Miss Farooqi?" to which robotically reply a fine. I now could perfectly sense 2 guards in front of me and 2 behind my back keeping a constant eye on me. I look at Mr Whatever. He gets the clue and apologizes "Its Official orelse main khud-' "Its okay main samjh sakti hoon Mr-" "Dhurandar Bhatawdhekar!" "Han wohi!" "Doll tum Miss Zoya Farooqi ke saath kuch dieir batho.I think-"I sit on the waiting chairs leaving the two talking amongst themselves. Looking at the guards again i feel like screaming! Mr Khan made me feel like a criminal in my own country! Fine i don't want to stay here i dont want to! I scream mentally. My head hurts. Allah Miyaa!! The rate i am shedding tears i will go blind! I tell myself as i see Dolly pass me another set of fresh tissues. She pats my shoulder while land into hers. I just want to cry. Cry until that manhos hope that Mr Khan would actually turn up magically out of think and dry my tears away like he always did. I just want to cry that hope away. He won't come he deffoo wont come. I cry some more still he doesn't come. He won't come Zoya he won't come
To make things worse i felt as if i could hear him scream my name over and over again, very faintly. I hate my DIL, even after all this, it could never be logical. I so wished it was, at least now. I wished to be strong like i always told Phoopi! But i know i am not! I am nothing but weak! Weaker than the lost puppy in the rain and i hated myself for that. I wanted to shut my ears cause now i could hear those ZOYYAAA shouts more frequent! Mr Khan WILL NOT COME! MR KHAN HAD NOT COME! i repeat to myself. It was just a terribly illusion resounding hallucination in my mind. i repeat to myself for 3 times until Dolly interrupts me with a tiny cup of tea i reject it as i tell her "Main sirf coffee piti hoon, woh bhi black and bitter made by Mr Khan that even in my blue mug!" It takes a moment's time to realize what i just said and I didn't even realize that I start crying again hiccuping loudly this time. My ribs hurt badly now. Dolly pats my shoulder while I gather myself up while sniffing. Mr Whatever whispers something into Dolly's ears which I could not get a track of, though they were loud enough. I look around. Everyone was happy. Because they would meet again. Sooner or Later. And here I was, leaving my mother country forever. No I was being Deported, I can never come back. I can never meet Phoppi, I can never meet Najma. I can never meet Rabbert or Humera or Dost. Mr Khan why couldn't you stop me? You tore me apart from my family. You tore me apart Mr Khan. Won't you seriously stop me?
'Miss Farooqi ane kuch kaha?' Dolly questions up as she sits beside me as Mr Whatever leaves to the counters.
'Nahii!' I heavily sigh.
I turn my face away so as to avoid Dolly's questioning eyes to me. I thought for a moment that I saw a Frantic Mr Khan among the crowd of people. I cursed my Dil. It didn't want to DEAL with the fact that Mr would not come. HE WONT COME HE WONT HE JUST WONT, Dear Dil, just Deal with it.
'Huuh??' Dolly said.
I swallowed hard. I have been rambling all this time, all aloud. To make myself feel more pathetic I could feel that my shers to come alive at the very moment.
'You know Dolly? Woh hai Asad aur hum hai Zoya
Woh hai Asad aur hum hai Zoya
Naam mein hi Chaabees ka akra hai and we would be meant to be!'
I sniff my tears away. It's a long journey to NY. Hope I don't fall sick. I dry my face consciously with the help of my sleeve because now I could see I had caught the attention not only of Dolly's but also of the whole Airport.
Dolly tells me that its time finally for the formalities to start, for Boarding. I try to stand on my feet without a stumble as I felt a sudden world revolving around me but unfortunately I wobble down. I keep hearing Mr Khan's distant voice in my ears and now it seems kindaa funny to me. Just one look back and I freeze for the age.
~ ~ ~ ~ X ~ ~ ~ ~
How was it? I suck at 1st person Narrative know? 😆
Do read Asad's Prov here : Asad's Woh Main Actually that's a gutter by the way. 🤣
I have wasted my sleep of three days now on this. Do i not deserve a Comment from you? 😳
😆 Ankie
For More Works of Fictions Do Have A Look At My Index 😳
A friendly reminder, KARAN SINGH GROVER will always be MY ASAD AHMED KHAN and SURBHI JYOTI as ZOYA FAROOQI in my FICTIONS, rest is up to you readers, You can imagine anybody my leads to be as, I assure you I will not have a problem with that. 😳
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