Hey all,
this is my first piece of fiction in IF, it doesnt have much dialogues as its kind of a psychoanalysis of Asad & Zoya"s state of mind after the night spent together and the accident.
i am back to watching TV after 8 long years, i watch only QH, its my 1st show of KSG, & i have become a die hard fan of Surbhi... shez amazing.. so this OS if dedicated to Surbhi Jyoti, best actress today on Indian Television...
"The Trail of Subconscious"
Wikipedia definition: The subconscious is commonly encountered as a replacement for the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind, in Freud's opinion has a will and purpose of its own that cannot be known to the conscious mind (hence the reason why it is called the "unconscious") and is a repository for socially unacceptable ideas, wishes or desires, traumatic memories, and painful emotions put out of mind by the mechanism of psychological repression.
~Yes, it did hurt him.. Her sad eyes, her staring into nothingness..Her efforts of not meeting his gaze... Did hurt him...
There was a quiet in her, a silence...so unlike her... So unlike the girl whose eyes spoke volumes before she did.. So different from that cool breeze that brought with it fragrance that was unexplainably pleasant..
Was it just like the silence before a storm, or was it the one after it.
Asad was sad, Asad was guilty. Asad was, calm Asad was relieved...
What was he anyway?..
What was going on in his mind?... Was that the turmoil of emotions which shook his being when she hugged him, seeked solace in his embrace outside the ruins of that building.. Was it the overpowering feeling of protection that he felt while enveloping her that day, where he wished all her sobs and tears could absorb in his chest... She had seemed so vulnerable then, she felt like a broken vase in his arms..
But what about the next instant, she was smiling,
she was talking with ease...to some... Raabart, ha ha.. How did she manage it all.. But she did it pretty well... shadowing her tears with her smile... Her smile, which lit the world around her...
Why then since returning that smile had vanished...? Tanveer had asked him about the tension between Zoya and him, she had mentioned about "something unsaid..." He
couldn't fathom what, he couldn't reply immediately to her, He couldn't place his finger on why was this happening to him..he said he was upset with her... Yes he was, was he?? Really??
"I don't even want to look at you" he had blurted and fled, leaving her behind...
No matter how angry he was with her for keeping him from reaching the court on time, he felt lost while driving back, why? What had occurred between them, that they seemed entwined with each other on a spiritual level...she didn't occupy the seat near him, but her words were all over his thoughts...why???? Something was there that he didn't remember about the night they spent together... Something he was unable to figure out no matter how much he tried...
Tanveer's call and accident was a distraction... but the moment he saw the i pad with blood on it, as if his heart ceased to beat, he couldn't breath... His eyes couldn't see anything, he only wanted to see Zoya, safe... And then he saw her, walking like a zombie... again was she in his arms, lifeless... Was the world ending for him, was it doomsday.. when she opened her eyes and saw him and he let his breath out... In the car he saw her huge eyes, pools of hurt, pain, how badly he wanted her to burst into her shayari, how fervently he wished that she start her nonstop chit chat... But it never came... It was a silent journey home..What was that which went so wrong..
If only he hadn't been so angry, if only he hadn't left her, if only...!!!.His heart bled, he was yet to know why, he needed to know why...
Asad walked in the living room and saw Zoya sitting on the couch with her i pad, her expression was... Severe.. Her color was pale, she looked tired
"Miss Farooqui"
Zoya stopped midway trying to suppress a yawn, as she heard the baritone of his voice calling her, she did not look up, because, she had been squeezed of all her might to stand in front of his questioning gaze without shedding a tear..
"Zoya, you are tired, please take some rest"
~She loved the sound of her name in his voice, and he called her by her first name when he was truly, deeply concerned... And those were moments when he melted his frozen facade in front of her... She knew he couldn't see her in pain and that he deeply cared...
"Yeah, u r right Mr Khan" she said, as she shifted her gaze from the I pad screen to his face... His face, those eyes... Allah!!! What is she going to do with her feelings...Gathering herself together she walked up to her room and bolted the door behind her, once she was alone she let the tears flow'Ever since their paths had crossed, she could sense friction between them.. all those moments when they accidently held each other in close proximity' both of them confused about the way their bodies and heart reacting to each other's presence' that sensuous dance in the living room, where she felt her body giving away to the rhythm in his lead, when he captured her heart by a mere husk of his tone' and then, last night'''' had she not seen herself clad in the saree she would have let the happenings of that cold, wet night pass as a beautiful dream.. she thought she had finally home in those arms, those hands which held hers in a warm conjoining' making her feel special'. And then the hearts opened, he admitted his feelings'. Of all people he did all the talking, and she was a mere listener to his words, she was in awe, finally she slept the most peaceful sleep she had ever did..close to him, resting on his broad shoulder'..
This morning thrashed her dreams, because the night she had in her conscious was in his subconscious, he may not remember it, chances were that he might never know it happened, most likely, that night with clouds, rain, love, dreams, hope might never come to his realization
She decided that she will now curl herself into her own world, where she would escape from the battering of her heart, where she would escape from him.. soon she will leave this forever'. These few months will surely be there in her mind always, but she was sure that after some years pass by, these can be passed on as a bunch of bittersweet memories' she began to collect her belongings as she thought, she looked up when she heard a knock on the door, her heart fluttered as she saw the dark blue of his shirt through the translucent glass
She half opened her mouth to tell him that she is busy, but thought otherwise'.
With slow undecided steps she opened the door to let him in'
Precap:
Scene 1: Asad apologises to Zoya for leaving her in the morning, Zoya looking away from him doesn't say a word'
scene 2: he throws himself in the pool, with open eyes, on his back he lets himself sink''.
Guys chill, Asad is not commiting suicide... Next part brings his tussle with his subconscious, and much more, that shall be updated in a day or two... do tell me if u liked it...
I do not have any buddies here, wish to add some so please buddy me...
till i update the 2nd and final part, happy reading & keep smiling
Regina :)
2nd & final part Page 5
Cricket
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Bigg Boss 19
124