Regarding Discussion of Slap

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Gagori Chatterjee

@jyoti06

Alumni

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#11

@All : Guys u all wanted the freedom to open topics and discuss as much as u all want .. we agreed on it .. but we r moderating an entire forum filled with different category of members .. not all will understand the discussions if they divert too much from the main serial and go into a complete different zone ..isn't it ... its a daily soap forum at the end of the day and as per basic IF rules for a daily soap forum , discussions are always meant to be limited to just what is shown in the episode ...

For debates on more serious and sensitive topics like domestic abuse and stuff , we do hv a separate debate mansion where such serious topics can b debated upon as much as u guys want .. this is one reason IF has opened so many different forums for all categories so that members never feel their freedom is curtailed ...

We can promise u the freedom to open topics on various matters as much as u can making sure they r not too repitative but we do expect some co-operation from your side too .. that is limiting the discussion to the main episode ... In the episode they only showed Asad slapping Zoya .. so the discussion should b limited to whether the slap was justified or not ... u hv all the freedom to debate on the slap matter but things which r not related to the show cannot b entertained simply because they go against IF's COC completely which the admins hv already decided ...

While making rules we need to take care of all types of members residing in the forum and make a neutral decision which goes in favour of everyone and not just one grp ... So this decision is taken making sure both parties get a fair deal .. those who want to discuss the slap issue they can while those who feel the slap posts always divert from main topic , will not mind it from here on as long as the topic does not go in a altogether different zone ,...

As mods we r ready to make amends in terms of allowing discussion in separate posts ... In return all we expect is u guys too should stick to just slap topic and not bring the topic of domestic violence which is not really associated with the concept of the show ... this is what I call co-operation which can keep a forum peaceful and united .. co-operation need to come from both sides for the betterment of this forum 😳

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adeeti10

@adeeti10

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: jyoti06
@All : Guys u all wanted the freedom to open topics and discuss as much as u all want .. we agreed on it .. but we r moderating an entire forum filled with different category of members .. not all will understand the discussions if they divert too much from the main serial and go into a complete different zone ..isn't it ... its a daily soap forum at the end of the day and as per basic IF rules for a daily soap forum , discussions are always meant to be limited to just what is shown in the episode ...

For debates on more serious and sensitive topics like domestic abuse and stuff , we do hv a separate debate mansion where such serious topics can b debated upon as much as u guys want .. this is one reason IF has opened so many different forums for all categories so that members never feel their freedom is curtailed ...

We can promise u the freedom to open topics on various matters as much as u can making sure they r not too repitative but we do expect some co-operation from your side too .. that is limiting the discussion to the main episode ... In the episode they only showed Asad slapping Zoya .. so the discussion should b limited to whether the slap was justified or not ... u hv all the freedom to debate on the slap matter but things which r not related to the show cannot b entertained simply because they go against IF's COC completely which the admins hv already decided ...

While making rules we need to take care of all types of members residing in the forum and make a neutral decision which goes in favour of everyone and not just one grp ... So this decision is taken making sure both parties get a fair deal .. those who want to discuss the slap issue they can while those who feel the slap posts always divert from main topic , will not mind it from here on as long as the topic does not go in a altogether different zone ,...

As mods we r ready to make amends in terms of allowing discussion in separate posts ... In return all we expect is u guys too should stick to just slap topic and not bring the topic of domestic violence which is not really associated with the concept of the show ... this is what I call co-operation which can keep a forum peaceful and united .. co-operation need to come from both sides for the betterment of this forum 😳

Fair enough Jyoti... What you're saying is the slap that occurred in QH doesn't qualify as domestic violence. Ok, so lets take the term domestic violence out of the discussion.

In my opinion, that slap still qualifies as physical aggression, unwarranted and alarming behaviour. And this being a democratic forum, I'm sure you will agree that while there will be a vast majority that sees nothing wrong with it, justifies it and explains it beautifully, as a viewer, I have the right to condemn the character for what he or she did... WITHOUT being called a BASHER.

However, that's not the case here... That's why this forum has sides... Cos some people think that the majority rules, and if the minority voices their opinions, they should stop watching the show...

Cos people think that the minute you voice your opinion and support a particular thought or viewpoint, you're aligning to a group.

My point is: if the makers of the show claim they are sending out a social message on women empowerment and dispelling myths around Muslim women, then their portrayal should be sensitive and as a viewer, I have a right to condemn or praise it depending on how I feel, without other members taking offence to it and asking me to shut up or go away.

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RMamsa

@RMamsa

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#13

Let me get this straight:

Its's not OK to say Asad Slapping Zoya was clearly an act of Domestic violence.

But it's ok to say:

Asad Ahmed Khan of Qubool hai has serious unaddressed anger issues which are time again depicted in forms of generally ill mannered behavior towards zoya faruqui. His anger finally turned into abuse as he slapped zoya across her face in a fury of emotions. In the episode the slap was harsh, sounded like it left a ringing sensation in zoya's ears and was so forcefull that it threw the girl off balance making her fall on an object and cutting her hand. I feel such manhandling is not justified, specially from the main protagonist towards the leading lady as it send's out a very negative msg regarding 'Whats an ok thing to do' to the audience.

?

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Gagori Chatterjee

@jyoti06

Alumni

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#14

@Adeeti10 : First of all I can assure u that our intention was not to hurt any sentiments .. all we r saying is QH forum is not a proper place to discuss such delicate and sensitive matters because half of the members wont understand the gravity of such matters which u r saying and might get into unwanted battles which in the end will result in the whole issue becoming further mess and then we r back to square one ..that is mocking the intellect of each fan grp resulting in topics getting closed ..right ?? ...

The correct forum to debate out such matters is debate mansion since members out there understand these sensitive matters but u cannot expect same sensitivity in QH forum and thats why mods want u guys to disccuss the slap as much as u want but dont bring in the whole domestic violence in picture because most members in the forum dont hv the maturity to understand it and since a forum is made for all , so as mods we got to take certain decisions in larger interest of a forum and make sure all members get a neutral platform ...

Having said that , u hv every right to pinpoint that Asad was wrong and such physical agression is not done at all but at the same time if another member justifies the same physical agression , then u got to respect that POV too and mayb debate it out with her BUT without going personal on that member or questioning her intellect ... this is what we r expecting from both sides and then we hv no issues at all 😊...

Again I repeat .. physical agression is right word in this case but not domestic violence ... if that stage of domestic violence ever reaches in this show , u r free to discuss it but things which hv not happened yet , there is no point bringing it either ...

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adeeti10

@adeeti10

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: jyoti06
@Adeeti10 : First of all I can assure u that our intention was not to hurt any sentiments .. all we r saying is QH forum is not a proper place to discuss such delicate and sensitive matters because half of the members wont understand the gravity of such matters which u r saying and might get into unwanted battles which in the end will result in the whole issue becoming further mess and then we r back to square one ..that is mocking the intellect of each fan grp resulting in topics getting closed ..right ?? ...

The correct forum to debate out such matters is debate mansion since members out there understand these sensitive matters but u cannot expect same sensitivity in QH forum and thats why mods want u guys to disccuss the slap as much as u want but dont bring in the whole domestic violence in picture because most members in the forum dont hv the maturity to understand it and since a forum is made for all , so as mods we got to take certain decisions in larger interest of a forum and make sure all members get a neutral platform ...

Having said that , u hv every right to pinpoint that Asad was wrong and such physical agression is not done at all but at the same time if another member justifies the same physical agression , then u got to respect that POV too and mayb debate it out with her BUT without going personal on that member or questioning her intellect ... this is what we r expecting from both sides and then we hv no issues at all 😊...

Again I repeat .. physical agression is right word in this case but not domestic violence ... if that stage of domestic violence ever reaches in this show , u r free to discuss it but things which hv not happened yet , there is no point bringing it either ...

Thanks Jyoti for taking the time to reply.

My sentiments are not hurt 😊 and nor am I on the forum to hurt anyone's sentiments.

But I find that not many think before labelling people. If someone's intellect is questioned, another's motives are brought under the scanner.

People get personal - some are bold enough to call it out, others are wile enough to hide behind jibes made at others. If I had more time to spare, I'd go through the numerous threads where people suggest that those who only criticise the show, should leave the forum. Now, that hurts my sentiments.

Yes, a person has right to glorify the slap if he or she wants but has no right to ask me to go away if my views differ.

I'm not talking only in the context of the slap here... It's about almost every time that I've said I didn't like a particular aspect, I've heard phrases like... Why watch if you want to bash, some people can't appreciate... These people are outsiders coming to bash our beloved show! For God's sake, if i didnt care so much about the show, i wouldnt be here. i think its good, but it could be better! And I'm sure there are others who also get bashed for what the majority feels is bashing.

I know you're expecting both sides to respect each other... I'm doing my bit, but I still find barbed comments that are jarring. Pity I'm not one of those tattletales to report posts... But all I'm asking for is to live cos I let live.

Also, please note... I didn't bring up the topic of domestic violence at all in my post.. I took it out of the discussion in the first paragraph. But I'd appreciate if I can still have my say and call the slap what it was... An act of aggression and violent behaviour unbecoming of the character I fell in love with, Asad Ahmed Khan.

Edited by adeeti10 - 12 years ago

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Laila Banu

@Laila2009

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: jyoti06
@Adeeti10 : First of all I can assure u that our intention was not to hurt any sentiments .. all we r saying is QH forum is not a proper place to discuss such delicate and sensitive matters because half of the members wont understand the gravity of such matters which u r saying and might get into unwanted battles which in the end will result in the whole issue becoming further mess and then we r back to square one ..that is mocking the intellect of each fan grp resulting in topics getting closed ..right ?? ...

The correct forum to debate out such matters is debate mansion since members out there understand these sensitive matters but u cannot expect same sensitivity in QH forum and thats why mods want u guys to disccuss the slap as much as u want but dont bring in the whole domestic violence in picture because most members in the forum dont hv the maturity to understand it and since a forum is made for all , so as mods we got to take certain decisions in larger interest of a forum and make sure all members get a neutral platform ...

Having said that , u hv every right to pinpoint that Asad was wrong and such physical agression is not done at all but at the same time if another member justifies the same physical agression , then u got to respect that POV too and mayb debate it out with her BUT without going personal on that member or questioning her intellect ... this is what we r expecting from both sides and then we hv no issues at all 😊...

Again I repeat .. physical agression is right word in this case but not domestic violence ... if that stage of domestic violence ever reaches in this show , u r free to discuss it but things which hv not happened yet , there is no point bringing it either ...

Based upon what definition? So today, upteen number of threads can be opened to say what Asad did is not domestic violence (and we're not basing this on the slap alone) but we cannot say anything? That's really censoring our voice and allowing for false information to be put on this forum. I bring up the domestic violence issue because other members also came forward to say it was not domestic violence. We didn't debate the issue of domestic violence in isolation but in relation to the show. For us, it is domestic violence and based on our knowedge it is. To term it anything else...well, that would be asking us to lie.

Now, we are not here to discuss domestic violence, abuse, etc in isolation; in fact none of the topics we have opened up were in isolation. They were all in relation to what we saw on this show. And just as much as you wish for us to respect the POV of other people, we are. In fact in my PM with Shifali this is what she requested and since then we have complied. If you note, it is not us who are rude but other members of this forum who have not respected our stance in that we do not justify this abusive behavior. It constitutes violence and it is gender based. All this factors do play a part in justifying what it is - at least where I come from.

It seriously bewilders me that you will not OK a post or a comment that says it is an example of domestic violence but will allow posts that say it is a right for a man to slap a woman because it is the example of love he has for her? These posts do not offend us much as those that say it is an act of domestic violence? That's what bewilders me.

Like Shaz says, I seriously think the DEV team really needs to understand what our posts are about and what we have discussed in them. If the DEV team wanted to be fair, why not ask that both sides either in favor or against the topic of domestic violence not use this term in discussing this issue so that people cannot come here and start topics that this si NOT an example of domestic violence...do you see what potential problems have arisen by censoring us?

BTW. regarding my letter to BCCC, my friend is director of an organization whose chair is friends' with Shabana Azmi and will be hooking me up with her contact information. So let us see what happens.

If the DEV team does not like the word violence, then do they object to the word ABUSE?

Edited by Laila2009 - 12 years ago

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AdhooriSi

@AdhooriSi

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#17

Basically what's being asked is to dumb down to the level of "some" individual's who don't have the stomach to accept something that's so obvious or because they don't agree with it. It's strange how we can go around in circles and pretty much say the same thing but without using those exact words. 😕

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Gagori Chatterjee

@jyoti06

Alumni

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#18

@Adeeti10 : If someone makes a comment asking u to leave the forum , report it asap and u will find a mod note there .. noone has right to ask any member leave the forum .. so thank you for raising this topic .. it will b looked upon that no member is asking anyone to leave the forum from here onwards 😊

@Laila : Censorship is everywhere ..isn't it .. without censorship things on a public platform can go haywire .. why just a forum , u will find censorship on TV , Cinema all over .. its to make sure people of all age grps can together watch something especially a forum is about members coming together to discuss a particular show ... we r not here to discuss a serious social issue .. for that separate forums r made .. this is just a serial forum where members come to hv some fun and at times if topic is serious , then hv a serious debate but not to an extent that after a point it starts affecting us ..

If we r stopping u guys from opening any post altogether , u hv every right to say our freedom is curtailed .. but thats not the case anymore .. u r free to open topics .. all we want is topics to discuss the matter limited to the show and not go beyond that which if in your definition means censorship , then so be it .. like I said such censorship u will find in every single public platform or else how can a forum's decorrum be maintained ??

Coming to your topic on domestic violence , its a very very sensitive matter .. so unless a show is actually highlighting domestic violence as main concept , we cannot let members openly discuss it either ...(Mayb a reference here and there is fine .. but making topics on it as main subject matter is something we cant allow unless we hv a track itself running on domestic violence )

When a member is justifying Asad slapping Zoya , u hv every right to oppose the member but all we r saying is dont get personal with the member ... topic here is slap .. whether someone supports or opposes the slap ..its part of the show , so both sides can debate it out peacefully...

Last but not the least if comments r made like "if u r here to just criticise , then leave or stop watching " .. report such posts and we will make sure action is taken

Edited by jyoti06 - 12 years ago

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Laila Banu

@Laila2009

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#19

@Jyoti06, what is there to stop someone from opening a thread to say, what Asad did was not domestic violence? Are we not allowed to say based up our expert knowledge that it was? (And no, we don't plan on opening a thread like this just to let you know). That's the problem I see happening. Do you see the potential problem that has arisen here? The show doesn't recognize this as an issue of abuse/domestic violence etc at all - that is why the BCCC is holding its meeting to educate people/CVs etc. Shows promote forced marriages and many wrong things as good, but that does not mean that people cannot come here and voice their viewpoint? Do you see how that comment doesn't make sense?

Joyti: Mayb a reference here and there is fine .. but making topics on it as main subject matter is something we cant allow unless we hv a track itself running on domestic violence )

A bulk of our posts that opened threads spoke out against the slap and why. The bulk of the arguments were those that did not see it as abuse, justifiable etc. We explained why we didn't support it and why and still people were ugly. As Adeeti explained so well, threads were opened up taunting us etc. Ugly posts were directed at us asking to remove ourselves from this forum. Others mocked us. We have chosen NOT to get personal with people and we have accepted that there will be members who might love the slap.

For some of us this relationship between Asad and Zoya is full of potential dangers and we would like to have mature discussion about it but the minute we open a thread we get immature comments, o, it is just a show, get it out of your system, if you don't like it, why are you watching it...etc.

I loathe reporting posts and having been a moderator in the past can post a neutral comment to the person and since I saw little work done by the moderator in curbing the matter I was disappointed.

I do want to extend my thanks to you for jumping on the matter immediately and your fiar and just post curbed matters and brought them to a standstill leaving all of us with a pleasant weekend. Had these actions been conducted in the past, half the arguments would have ended a long time ago.

Edited by Laila2009 - 12 years ago

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Daayan Bai

@KunwaariDaayan

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#20

Originally posted by jyoti06

@All : Guys u all wanted the freedom to open topics and discuss as much as u all want .. we agreed on it .. but we r moderating an entire forum filled with different category of members .. not all will understand the discussions if they divert too much from the main serial and go into a complete different zone ..isn't it ... its a daily soap forum at the end of the day and as per basic IF rules for a daily soap forum , discussions are always meant to be limited to just what is shown in the episode ...

For debates on more serious and sensitive topics like domestic abuse and stuff , we do hv a separate debate mansion where such serious topics can b debated upon as much as u guys want .. this is one reason IF has opened so many different forums for all categories so that members never feel their freedom is curtailed ...

We can promise u the freedom to open topics on various matters as much as u can making sure they r not too repitative but we do expect some co-operation from your side too .. that is limiting the discussion to the main episode ... In the episode they only showed Asad slapping Zoya .. so the discussion should b limited to whether the slap was justified or not ... u hv all the freedom to debate on the slap matter but things which r not related to the show cannot b entertained simply because they go against IF's COC completely which the admins hv already decided ...

While making rules we need to take care of all types of members residing in the forum and make a neutral decision which goes in favour of everyone and not just one grp ... So this decision is taken making sure both parties get a fair deal .. those who want to discuss the slap issue they can while those who feel the slap posts always divert from main topic , will not mind it from here on as long as the topic does not go in a altogether different zone ,...

As mods we r ready to make amends in terms of allowing discussion in separate posts ... In return all we expect is u guys too should stick to just slap topic and not bring the topic of domestic violence which is not really associated with the concept of the show ... this is what I call co-operation which can keep a forum peaceful and united .. co-operation need to come from both sides for the betterment of this forum 😳

Jyoti, I very much appreciate that you have taken it upon yourself to act on the matter at hand with immediate effect but there are some things which are still a concern to me from what you have stated and this is purely going by on IF rules...

Criticism v/s Bashing:Criticism is WELCOME. You don't like the show, sure, state it but state WHY, and don't try to instigate members against the show. Bashing will NOT be tolerated in this forum in any case. We as the DT are very lenient in terms of our members but the moment a thread about criticism is turned into bashing, it will not be appreciated. Bashing and making personal attacks against any actor/actress/CVs/members/characters etc. is not allowed. A critic is one who discusses things in perspective, never loses objectivity and states things in a logical and constructive way. But a basher is one, who states the points a bit too heavily such that, it no longer looks like criticism but looks like a total attack. Everyone have their own point of view let's respect it. You have right to raise your opinion but one should see lines ain't crossed. Avoid making posts that are abusive, derogatory, insulting or sarcastic enough to affect the sentiment of another member. This is against IF COC and won't be tolerated

It does not state anywhere hear that IF cater's to a certain type/group of member's according to their sense and sensibility or certain mindset ,and no where on here, does it state that any such topic that could cause offense,or be hurtful to one's sentiments if resemblance to real life is made.If it were to be categorised as that ,than member's seeking to have more meaningful,intense disscussions should resort to other specific sites on IF.

None of our posts made on matter's reagrding physical abuse has crossed any line,definitely not in the way it can be deemed,derogatorive,abusive or to be considered a direct attack on any member and neither have we gone off topic and brought any such real life incident into the show but merely stated that whatever form of abuse was shown ,to us, is classed with certain terms.,with reference to domestic violence considering the lead couples living situation/arrangement of this present moment.

Most of the member's here who sopke against the slap are women,including myslef, who work on the domestic violence field on close quater's with such victims,thus giving us all adequate knowledge through traning with top specialists on the field to be able to identify and give correct terms/reference to the all differentforms of violence.The physical abuse/manhandling is being shown in the show making it relevant for topic of disscussion.

Repeated Topics: If someone has already posted a topic which shares similar views to what you have to say, please do not create a whole new topic. Instead reply in the thread the other member created first. That way the forum will be neat and clean and there won't be multiple topics floating around

There are still numerous topics on a daily basis categorising as repetitive...eg...ASya drooling,ASya love angle,ASya emotions,ASya eyelocks...etc...etc...which remain open regardless.It is only fair that if we are bound to one thread than specific attention should also be given to these topics to see that they are up for closure and should also be just bound to one thread,that way as the rules state the forum appears neat and in order!

All I am trying to get across here Jyoti, is that if rules of equality is to be followed than it should apply to all and not just depending on the nature of ones mindset,ability to understand,or on how popular one is on IF.

Thanks once again Jyoti,for looking further into the matter and giving us your feed back!😊

Edited by shaz2009 - 12 years ago