Riya, Illa,
I'd say some Indians in India have moved with the times. I come from a progressive urban family and my cousins overseas are progressive too. But around me I find many friends who complain about their extended families - NRI cousins who grow up in more traditional homes whether it is the US or UK cos their parents left India in the 70s or 80s and live in a time warp. And they're amazed when they come to India to find cousins who party, wear what their parents would call skimpy attire... And if its mentioned to their folks, they're stonewalled saying its sad that Indians are losing their own culture.
The sad part is that people everywhere equate culture with this notion of what to wear, what we do at a very superficial level forgetting its about values. And talking about culture, it's something that evolves... So by clinging to old habits unnecessarily, we are doing a disservice.
I agree with you! I think people associate things such as clothes, the way we speak and modify ourselves, our actions or simple harmless actions as "uncultured". It is so hard to explain to them that just because we do certain things does not mean we have no respect for our culture. You know the biggest problem I face is that my parents have never really brought the Indian culture to us. We have only been to India once or twice yet they want us to know everything there is to know. We barely ever celebrate a holiday and even if we do we don't know why we are doing what we are going. I get most of my Indian culture through these shows. They want us to think traditionally which let me tell you has nothing to do with culture. There are such stupid rules like don't talk to buys, don't hang out with girls that talk to boys, don't go out and party and I always say that by putting all these restrictions you are in a way doubting your ability. Yes, too much freedom can be a bad thing but let them have fun, talk to to boys and girls because most likely your kids will not break your trust. You have raised them and it is time you let them figure themselves out. So many people have moved and progressed and I think especially with parents that live abroad, not all but some of them are stuck in a whole different time zone.
Personally, I know what it is right and what is wrong and I do what I need to do. I have never done anything my parents need to be ashamed of, but how is it that you are going to work with coworkers and be at school and never talk to the other gender? Not everyone is out for one thing. I have many amazing guy friends but my parents will never be able to see that or know. That's what most of us have to do anyways. 😭
Hey Riya,
I can understand how you feel. Funnily, my mom was pretty liberal and that meant going out in mixed groups, so long as she knew the guys i went out with and didn't date exclusively cos dating was not cool when I was in college. But when she did find out I was going steady with someone, there was a sane discussion on why I'm young at 18 to commit and I shouldn't let this relationship take away my focus from life goals like college and career. Her trust and faith meant I almost never lied to her about my plans with friends, and on the one or two occasions I did I was wracked with guilt. I eventually grew out my college crush and met someone else many years after working. Again she didn't pressure me as much as the typical moms to marry soon after college. I told her I didn't want an arranged marriage where I'd meet the guy twice and have to say yes or no. So I finally met my husband at 28 and we married soon after. I guess I'm privileged. And I know for sure, my kids will be raised like I was.
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