She must not know...

I hurt her so many times.

And again.

And again.

And everytime it feels like a pipe is crushing my chest. But I must do it, I have to. I cannot give in to the ardour I know she feels for me. I cannot acknowledge the fire that burns whenever our eyes meet, even across a crowded room. Destiny has a funny habit of playing with my life. I cannot be without her, and I cannot be with her. I cannot acknowledge to her my true feelings. Yet all my professions of hatred are rendered meaningless and hollow everytime. She keeps getting into trouble with alarming ease, and I keep saving her. It's almost a routine now.

Why must I have to blot out the only ray of sunshine in my life? Oh, that's a good one. Because she is living , and I am dead. Simple, isn't it? It's not.

So even as I yearn to be close to her, to tell her everything, I can do nothing. I cannot be so selfish as to pull her into the darkness that surrounds me. I must push her towards a human she can trust and maybe even- love.

Kabir seems good enough. He's certainly warm enough for her, and quite reliable, too. He also quite evidently has feelings for her. I try my level best to push her towards him. But since when has Pia done what I've wanted her to? Never.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

She has no memories of me : I made sure of that. Yet her love is strong enough to break the curse on me.

I see her with another human . I try to find out more about him. Jeh Khurana seems all right, I suppose. Obviously, he has feelings for her, to. I feel a nagging gnaw somewhere inside my chest as I watch her unconscious form carried by him. It can't be my heart, can it?

I return- back to the college, where it all started. She's so different, and yet so much the same. She can still sense when I am hiding something from her, and her reactions are pretty much the same.

I am worried. She's going to crack under the strain I am forced to put on her- It is the only way to keep her at arm's length. No matter how much both of us hate it.

I see how I break a bit of her everytime...

But she must not know; must never know...how much I shall always love her.

This was written as a companion to :

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/pyaar-kii-ye-ek-kahaani/3120912/hes-not-abhay

Sorry Pavi, I know this isn't upto the mark, but Abhay is terribly difficult to write on.

Originally posted by: snitchseeker

This is beautiful <3

Thanks😛

Originally posted by: harinisriram39

Shreya, You did it. You wrote very well on Abhay. But there is lot more to write. How he felt when he came to know about Jeh's identity, how he felt when Piya accepted him wholeheartedly on remembering his identity, how he felt when Piya forced him to accept her love, how he felt when Haseena was to be executed, how he felt when he had to fake love to Alina.

Lot more to write on Abhay dear and you can do it.

Actually Harry this was meant as a companion to the previous post. How Abhay was feeling then. That's why I excluded the ones you said.