Are feminists biased against men? - Page 2

Originally posted by: JanakiRaghunath

I was just curious about this...recently the whole forum (including me) has erupted with anger at Yash shoving Aarti against the door. This is the second time he has displayed violent behavior against his wife, and that too in front of everyone.

Would you guys have reacted the same had Aarti ever shoved Yash or behaved violently with him? Sometimes, it seems to me that aggressive women are far more accepted in our society than aggressive men. Even in schools, if a girl smacks a guy people applaud her for being strong, and even the teacher turns a blind eye to it, but if a guy shoves a girl even by accident, he is given a suspension from school. I have seen this happen sooo many times in my life, and I was left having a sour taste in my mouth because if there is one thing i absolutely HATE, it is double standards. Why are women allowed to be abusive to men and applauded for it, whereas men are hated for being abusive to women?

Can anyone please explain this to me? And also leave your opinion on how you would feel if Aarti ever shoved Yash against the door. Would you honestly be as angry and hate her character, or would you applaud her. Tell the truth.

Originally posted by: JanakiRaghunath

It's actually a cause of great concern. The reason there are such rare cases of women abusing men is that men who are abused are ashamed of crying out. This too is a fault of society, because it expects men to "suck it up" whenever they're faced with problems and not cry. Men who file complaints against abusive wives are ridiculed not just by their family and friends, but also the law enforcement who does not take them seriously. I swear, I've seen this happen in real life which is why I'm saying ti's a cause of great concern. When our society is so hypocritical that it's only able to protect its women and not men, how can it be called equal?

It's totally not true that women cannot be aggressive. Maybe in previous generations it's true, but nowadays women are having just as much strength as men, they are trained in physical combat, and some even fight in wars. Women have gotten a lot stronger and as a side effect of strength comes pride and the need to be dominant. That's why men are generally more aggressive. They feel the need to use their strength on others, and when women become as physically strong as men, they too feel like that. I've seen a lot of abusive women in my life so I won't accept if someone says that's unrealistic. It's not unrealistic. What's unrealistic is how Indian shows portray women to be doormats, because in real life, especially nowadays in the 21st century, women are stronger and more confident of themselves. They are not doormats.🤢

Well I agree with you on a couple of things you said. but I have to repeat that such cases are VERY RARE. I agree that there might be some bias in reporting of domestic abuse cases bcz some men might feel the social pressure to keep quiet or even law enforcement officials might be slower to respond to such reports. But even keeping this in mind, there is a huge gap in the number of incidents of men abusing women vs. vice versa...Esp. when it comes to extreme cases, i've found the perpetrators are almost always men. I am pretty sure in those cases there is no bias in reporting bcz it can't go unnoticed. there are very few cases of women murdering (or attempting to murder) their husbands and I find ppl are usually horrified and judge these women harsher than they would the men (I am actually one of those ppl... I am not much of a feminist.) and these cases tend to get more publicity bcz they're so rare. and I am only talking abt western countries. I am not even talking about countries where honor killings are common and there's a double standard for crimes committed by women vs. those committed by men.

Originally posted by: JanakiRaghunath

It's extreme but it happened in my own highschool. Why would I make it up?😕

And I am not at all advocating Yash. Where did I ever defend him in my posts? I hate Yash for what he's doing to Aarti, but I'm just voicing my concern that would this be the same reaction if Aarti was abusing Yash, as unrealistic as it is?

People say they would hate Aarti, but I highly doubt it. I bet half the forum would cheer for her and make crackpot comments like, "wow, I just loved her jhansi ki rani move!"🤢 I can just see such comments because it's only a handful of people who believe in equality for both genders. With the rise of feminism these days, men haters and men bashing has become popular with people. They are ready to see aggressive women but cry out with anger when they see agressive men. It's all hypocrisy.

@Janaki, a very thought provoking post. Thank you

My 2 cents:

Abuse is abuse. Wether a man inflicts it on a woman or a woman inflicts it on a man. And abuse need not have to be limited to just physical. When you use your physical strength over someone else, it is as a means of serving out punishment you think they deserve. While women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused especially emotionally. As far as I am concerned, the bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable irrespective of who it is coming from. I still shudder thinking what Gayatri did to little Ansh and what Prashant did to Aarti.

I also think there is a difference between, using your physical strength to punish someone and using your physical strength to stand up for yourself or in self defense. Yes, pushing someone away once does not necessarily mean that the person is a chronic abuser but it does suggest that Yash did think Aarti deserved to be hurt. And that is sad. When you use any kind of violence you are destroying someone's self worth little by little no matter what the provocation is.

If Aarti had shoved Yash against the door, I honestly would have been just as upset with her as I am with Yash. Today Yash pushed Aarti in anger but that also had a ripple effect. Gayatri then went on a rampage and the kids were shaken too. So, even though he meant to just hurt Aarti he also ended up hurting the kids. That is not fair on those little ones. I do not hate Yash's character at all. I can be mad at him, I can be disappointed at him but I do not hate him. At the end of the day I do know that he is a young man who has gone through some traumatic stuff in life. He is struggling to come to terms with a lot of emotional stuff. I sympathize with him but that does not mean I will be able to brush away his acts of violences against those very people who are trying to help him.

Originally posted by: Artemis_1122

Well I agree with you on a couple of things you said. but I have to repeat that such cases are VERY RARE. I agree that there might be some bias in reporting of domestic abuse cases bcz some men might feel the social pressure to keep quiet or even law enforcement officials might be slower to respond to such reports. But even keeping this in mind, there is a huge gap in the number of incidents of men abusing women vs. vice versa...Esp. when it comes to extreme cases, i've found the perpetrators are almost always men. I am pretty sure in those cases there is no bias in reporting bcz it can't go unnoticed. there are very few cases of women murdering (or attempting to murder) their husbands and I find ppl are usually horrified and judge these women harsher than they would the men (I am actually one of those ppl... I am not much of a feminist.) and these cases tend to get more publicity bcz they're so rare. and I am only talking abt western countries. I am not even talking about countries where honor killings are common and there's a double standard for crimes committed by women vs. those committed by men.

as for physical strength, once again I was talking abt women in general. Even in western countries, women are still much smaller than men. it's natural and genetic. That's why women can never compete with men in any sport. the only way a woman can be stronger that a man is if two extremes meet (i.e. a really strong woman marrying a very weak man) lol or if she used a weapon.

But I do agree with you about the way women are portrayed in indian serials. even if this is reality (which I highly doubt) they need to show that women are strong, not doormats... if we expect society to change at all.

Originally posted by: sexyheels

as for equality after what Yash's done to Artii if she was to give him a cold shoulder in the future I WOULD most definately cheer for her because Yash totally deserve a cold shoulder from Artii; however, we all know she won't abuse him like this and if she did insult him in front of the family I would much appreciate her doing that but i would say that he deserved it

that is all

i'm not by all means challenging you or anything else 😊

@JanakiRaghunath: But you're talking about crime in general... I am talking about violence and domestic abuse and how safe someone is within their own home. I am not from India so I can't say much about gender dynamics in an Indian household, but in a lot of other countries in Asia and the middle east there hasn't been any progress at all.

Originally posted by: Artemis_1122

@JanakiRaghunath: But you're talking about crime in general... I am talking about violence and domestic abuse and how safe someone is within their own home. I am not from India so I can't say much about gender dynamics in an Indian household, but in a lot of other countries in Asia and the middle east there hasn't been any progress at all.

I am not arguing with you on whether this is an issue or not. I am just saying this disadvantage pales in comparison to the much more common and serious challenges facing women everyday. and most of those issues are not being addressed.