SS: Palki Part 8 Upd July 20th

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640638

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Posted: 13 years ago

#41

Marked. Will catch up once guests leave

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Shreyasee

@kshre25

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#42

Ok, I'm pretty much a silent member, i used to be pretty active, but then just got super busy. However, you threatening not to write, man that did it, I had to give up my silent member status.

Its hard to say anything beyond amazing to such good writing. I really love that you gave the angle of ArYa knowing each other before and giving it a little bit of KKHH, but not exactly just like that. Your writing just superb, I mean the words you use and the descriptions, just allow the reader picture everything that happening and thats sometimes really hard to do. So keep it up and please update soon.

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749230

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#43

I wasn't threatening not to write...;) But I sure do plan to close shop early.

But thanks for the support! It really means a lot.

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749230

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#44

Part 5: An awakening

"Rithi aunty...come" She squealed taking her hand as she came back from the library with books for Payal, "Papa is here..."

When they were about to enter her bedroom, the little one paused and turned with a finger over her lips. "Hush..." She came to a stop yielding to her polite demands, her next step carefully taken to silence her anklets and the ruffle of her sari, "Papa is sleeping..."

She smiled and took in his sleeping form, the memories of another time when only Rithi had remained her identity came flooding to her. Leaving the books by the table nearby, she bent down to Payal's eye level and hushed her back. With her feet tingling with a rush of thrill, she made her way to the bathroom while her hands reached for the tip of her aanchal and tucked it by her waist.

There hadn't been a well thought out plan when she'd walked across the room, but once inside and as she saw the shaving cream foam, compressed in its frothy glory inside the aluminum canister painted red and white, she picked it up with an evil glee.

She looked down at Payal and now that the little angel had sprouted two invisible red horns like that of her Rithi aunty, she smiled quietly with the stirring pleasure from an approaching prank, bright in her eyes. The duo tip toed back to where he was sleeping - stretched on his side, with one hand tucked under his cheek. He looked flushed and his posture outlined his clavicles more so, making him appear leaner than he was.

Without losing time, she gestured to Payal - her head tipping zip in his direction - to ruffle his slumber. Payal scratched him by his jaw with a lone index finger and in an unconscious response, his hand from under his face slid out.

In that transient second, she'd almost seen him as her friend who might jump out of bed any minute and start discussing their term paper, but she didn't know if he was still that person who expected nothing in return. Or, if her friend had faded with the turn of time, just as parts of her were lost to the chafing of life. Payal shook her by her arm, anxious and once again, she was back in the moment with the her lips wide and beaming with an aging mischief.

The foam gurgled out into a large spiral cone as she squeezed them out onto his palm and before long, Payal scratched his nose again, only to have him flop them all down over his face.

It had been some sight to have him wake up, groggy and confused, the spread of cream over his eyes and nose appearing as a white mask, the tips of his curls over his forehead painted a gooey white. His lashes had a pudgy coating of the same and he looked a circus bozo at best.

"Oye..." He said sitting up as he examined his palms quickly.

Payal giggled, tittering as she jumped up and down with a loud array of claps, "Papa...april fool...april fool..."

"Yash...I can't believe you still fall for it after all this years..." She was perched on his bedside table, laughing unaware for the first time in days.

He looked around and without thought he pulled on her aanchal wiping her face clean of the smile that had played on her lips seconds ago, as he cleaned the mess over his face. Dropping her cream laden aanchal on her lap, he got to his feet.

"I'm coming to get back at you, you little imp...", he called out to his daughter. But everything happened so quickly and so sudden that she couldn't tell when he'd come behind her and she'd to duck, run out and shreik as Payal did. One minute he was behind his daughter and the next he was out to get his payback from her. In seconds, he had Payal in his arms and flung her gently into the pool by the shallow end. Next, it was her turn to be drenched bone wet. But...

"Yash...No...Remember?...", was all she could manage, but by then she'd already hit the water and the solid wedge of cold water hit her body, the fuzz of the crisp water tunneling down her ears and nose.

Oh! Lord...

In a failed attempt, she tried in vain to put her hands above her head and steer herself towards the edge. However, she was in middle of the pool and the lack of oxygen, followed by the fight for a full breath of air, weakened her movements exponentially.

A heaviness began filling her chest, but before the tightness could spread and the burn in her eyes could blind her, he was patting her cheeks.

Haze and then she faintly heard his voice, "I'm sorry...I forgot...I forgot that you can't swim..."

There was more panic in his voice than she'd ever heard him to show, but before she could respond that she was all right, the rush of air through her lungs made her resigned to her senses. A beat of calm and then another easing came, as the discomfort receded.

"Are you ok? Wake up, Rithi..." She felt the sharp slap of his fingers and struggled to open her eyes a crack.

Payal was bending low, her gooey eyes in search of something. Her hand reached on its own accord to touch the little girl's face, however, in a jerk she was sitting up-right while her head lolled behind as she felt a strong hand over her cheek.

"Sorry, Rithi...I was really an ass..."

"Shush!" She spoke in a whisper, still gasping and greedy for air, her eyes narrowed in confusion from not having seen him quite like that - livid in his eyes and yet deathly pale from an unspoken fear. "Payal is here...and I'm fine, really..." She coughed, before she continued, "I'm fine Yash..."

"No! you are not fine..." There was a hardening insistence in his voice, "Look at you" He said.

She blinked and then made every effort to take inventory of her state that he was so furious at - her one hand squished his collar and her other hand was wound over his neck, as if she was holding onto him for her dear life; she was bundled up into his chest while her feet kicked to find a footing on the ground.

Despite the frailness she sighted in her limbs, all was still fine, she wanted to tell him then.

All until she felt the first touch of his warm breath heat up the side of her neck, the sensation turning her eyes into liquid fear as the warmth expanded slow and tepid inside her body; taking with it the white cold buried deep inside her, of starry lone nights and blazing anguished days...

Edited by 6th.Element - 13 years ago

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saf24

@saf24

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#45

Another fabulous update. I love the bond that has formed between Payal and Aarti and especially the way in which they managed to trick Yash. That scene was too cute.

I also loved the concern Yash showed for Aarti when he remembered that she could not swim. I think there is definitely something between them other than friendship and I would love to read more scenes where there are totally at ease with each other.

Edited by saf24 - 13 years ago

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Raveena

@Loveforlife

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#46

""Or, if her friend had faded with the turn of time, just as parts of her were lost to the chafing of life"""

WoW... I can imagine Aarti (KS) in her husky voice telling Yash (GC) not to dump her in the water! but Yash (GC) going ahead and doing it...nice update...waiting for the next installment!

Edited by Loveforlife - 13 years ago

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749230

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams

Aarti's mother's declarations of thanks made me wonder if she had always wanted (or expected? or hoped?) that Yash and Aarti would eventually marry

Yeah...you will find that out later.

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams
But then again, this might have been an emotional ploy to get Aarti to agree to marry

Bingo!

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams

Is aai reading her daughter correctly and is Aarti the one pushing away any deeper feelings for Yash, or is the relationship between Aarti and Yash truly and purely one of deep friendship and nothing else?

In short, you are asking me to tell you the story ;)

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams

"She would have done better..." Another mysterious statement! "Better" in what capacity? Sharing his loneliness? Helping him find someone more suitable? Yash's impulse...of all the words to describe his relationship with Arpita, Aarti regards "impulse" as the most appropriate one

This is a very key scene that you are asking about...

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams

I'm very curious to know what Yash thought during the marriage ceremonies,

Perhaps later...

Originally posted by: MelodiousDreams

I loved how Aarti goes about addressing the expectations of the ladies of the house in a frank manner, with no beating around the bush. I totally adore Aarti more and more!

I think this is expected given they were close back in the days.

Thank you :)

Edited by 6th.Element - 13 years ago

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749230

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#48

Originally posted by: kshre25
Ok, I'm pretty much a silent member, i used to be pretty active, but then just got super busy. However, you threatening not to write, man that did it, I had to give up my silent member status.
Its hard to say anything beyond amazing to such good writing. I really love that you gave the angle of ArYa knowing each other before and giving it a little bit of KKHH, but not exactly just like that. Your writing just superb, I mean the words you use and the descriptions, just allow the reader picture everything that happening and thats sometimes really hard to do. So keep it up and please update soon.

As I keep saying, the crux of any love story is the same: Boy meets girl; falls in love; they live happily ever after. But the real story is in the details and that is the what? when? where? How?

So hopefully this story will eventually stand out on its own. :)

Edited by 6th.Element - 13 years ago

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749230

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: saf24

I would love to read more scenes where there are totally at ease with each other.

Hmm! There sure is more of such scenes. But does that also mean that you aren't expecting any developments on the romantic front for a bit? This is a short story...we have to buck up to the finish.

Edited by 6th.Element - 13 years ago

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749230

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#50

Originally posted by: Loveforlife

WoW... I can imagine Aarti (KS) in her husky voice telling Yash (GC) not to dump her in the water! but Yash (GC) going ahead and doing it...nice update...waiting for the next installment!

Would it be a turn-off if I say that the leads in my head are not really Aarthi and Yash as I post them? ;)