Are women really treated like this in India?

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---Nisha---

@---Nisha---

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 13 years ago

#11

I guess I am in the minority then. My family isnt like that at all. My family moved from India a while back, but we still have a lot of family there. My oldest aunt got divorced and remarried like 33ish years ago. One of my cousins who lived in India got divorced recently, she is only 26 or something, she is very well educated and no one treats her the way these people seem to. We try to refrain from judging in my family, close and extended (most of us atleast, there are a few who think differently) because things happen. Its simply wrong to treat women the way they seem to be treated in these shows. Maybe its because I was from Mumbai, I never had to deal with these sort of things. And that doesnt mean everyone in Mumbai thinks like that, since Mumbai is very diverse. Though, I have noticed that the farther away from cities you, women's suffering grows as well. But even in the city it really depends where you are from, what family you belong to. Some families are very rich, yet they treat women the way they do in this show.

I guess if you talk country wise, then yes India still has a long way to go when it comes to women's rights. Thats probably why they keep gift wrapping women's torture for us to watch on TV, which is why I change the channel. I just cant watch Punar vivah with all this craziness. As soon as the father in law started talking today with ehsaas hoga use, I screamed NO because I knew what direction that conversation was going in. Then he finished with the dab ke rahe gi, and I was like thats it I just cant watch another torture fest show. I tried since I love gurmeet, but I really am not into in-law torture and the kind of mentality this father in law has makes me sick to my stomach. I am so so glad that my father is nothing at all like some of the fathers shown on these soaps.This whole family drama thing has been done so many times in Indian soaps and usually I stop watching the shows a while after they follow these formula (who likes to watch the heroine cry all the time). Whats really shocking is that the shows that have the most torture have the highest trps. Its really sad.

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Janaki

@RamKiSeeta

Achiever

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: ---Nisha---
Whats really shocking is that the shows that have the most torture have the highest trps. Its really sad.

It's not really shocking. It's just that the shows that portray the problems India still faces, like sex selective abortion, dowry burning, etc are subjects that interest people. Many of them, even ones living in India, do not know that some women still face these problems, and they hope to see these women liberated through the shows so that's why audience is hooked.

What's wrong is that not all women in India are treated like this. Many are treated well and fathers like Yash's are not common in all families. Shows tend to over-emphasize the problems India has instead of portraying its positives, like the tight bonds families share (whcih many western countries cannot boast of), the love for culture and religion, hard work and dedication, etc. India has many positives and not only negatives, so shows should also portray those instead of giving such a negative view on India.

I don't think PV is as bad of a show as other saas-bahu type ones. It has a bad FIL and MIL, yes, but it also has good ones...remember, Shobha and her husband are Aarti's first in-laws, and they are such good people (though Shobha's husband should not lie about Aarti being divorced) that the show is also telling us that good in-laws do exist and not all are like Yash's parents.

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Divya

@dkmystery

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: ---Nisha---
I guess I am in the minority then. My family isnt like that at all. My family moved from India a while back, but we still have a lot of family there. My oldest aunt got divorced and remarried like 33ish years ago. One of my cousins who lived in India got divorced recently, she is only 26 or something, she is very well educated and no one treats her the way these people seem to. We try to refrain from judging in my family, close and extended (most of us atleast, there are a few who think differently) because things happen. Its simply wrong to treat women the way they seem to be treated in these shows. Maybe its because I was from Mumbai, I never had to deal with these sort of things. And that doesnt mean everyone in Mumbai thinks like that, since Mumbai is very diverse. Though, I have noticed that the farther away from cities you, women's suffering grows as well. But even in the city it really depends where you are from, what family you belong to. Some families are very rich, yet they treat women the way they do in this show.
I guess if you talk country wise, then yes India still has a long way to go when it comes to women's rights. Thats probably why they keep gift wrapping women's torture for us to watch on TV, which is why I change the channel. I just cant watch Punar vivah with all this craziness. As soon as the father in law started talking today with ehsaas hoga use, I screamed NO because I knew what direction that conversation was going in. Then he finished with the dab ke rahe gi, and I was like thats it I just cant watch another torture fest show. I tried since I love gurmeet, but I really am not into in-law torture and the kind of mentality this father in law has makes me sick to my stomach. I am so so glad that my father is nothing at all like some of the fathers shown on these soaps.This whole family drama thing has been done so many times in Indian soaps and usually I stop watching the shows a while after they follow these formula (who likes to watch the heroine cry all the time). Whats really shocking is that the shows that have the most torture have the highest trps. Its really sad.

hahaha.. oh mate! so well said 👏 Indians are constantly fed shows where the female lead cries buckets, never takes real decisions, keeps sacrificing, won't hurt or let her enemies get hurt, won't swear at the bad people(not even in her heart)... n when such a lead gal does come, eventually she does lose her mind and turns stupid 😆
n this is coz most of the South Asians love to see this and it is amazing when I see even well educated teen gals taking them as role models

TRP rules big time...

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---Nisha---

@---Nisha---

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: _dkmystery_

hahaha.. oh mate! so well said 👏 Indians are constantly fed shows where the female lead cries buckets, never takes real decisions, keeps sacrificing, won't hurt or let her enemies get hurt, won't swear at the bad people(not even in her heart)... n when such a lead gal does come, eventually she does lose her mind and turns stupid 😆
n this is coz most of the South Asians love to see this and it is amazing when I see even well educated teen gals taking them as role models

TRP rules big time...

Woahh, well educated women take these tv heroines as role model. I dont believe you. I am well educated (or still getting bachelors degree) and I watch these shows but I would never take these people as role models. Its really sad that any woman would- educated or not. I mean at some point you just have to step back and think where is my self respect. Will I just let my husband walk all over me and why because according to my culture my husband is my god. No he isnt, or atleast not me for two reasons: I dont believe in God, plus I would never bow down to any man I love because then we arent equals. When I bow down to him, he becomes the dominant and I the submissive as most Indian marriages are on these shows. How can you have a healthy relationship when your husband sees you as inferior, when he takes the final decision and that is it even though you oppose it. Oh gee, I got so carried away. This issue is really hot topic today (they made it in my fav show too)

@janki: I see what you are saying, but maybe progression can happen slowly when they actually portray progression in the shows because lets remember most women watch these shows. I am not saying go all out and show an extreme feminist, but it can be gradual. How can change ever happen, if we keep dwelling in the past?

And I would watch PV but I just cant take the torture anymore. I, for one, am not into self inflicted torture. Already my fav show, iss pyar ko, is going down this path and I cant take anymore of this bad excuse for DRAMA. You know I have watched some episodes of American soaps too and no matter what I have to say they all different kinds of heroines (from weak to very strong). Ofcourse they have divorce, children out of marriage, etc etc too, which is why American soaps wouldnt work in India, but still they can incorporate some things like strong females who can take care of themselves and others who mess with them.

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evasumi

@evasumi

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

As per the show..

I think the producers have taken this theme of the show to show the difficulties a divorcee woman faces in her life ..

Only 7 episodes have aired so far and the story is still developing..

The characters are still being introduced and the circumstances in their lives still comimg to life little by little...

At this stage how can a person say anything concrete about the story and the show and how it is going to project the dilemma of a man and a woman on the verge of their remarriage..

I think the director has done wonderful job.. In just 7 episode on the air we know quite a bit about Aarti and Yash and their respective family.. there is so much to know and go in to details..

and director was able to keep the interest of the viewers by giving them something in each episode..

Yes we got a glimpse of happy Yash today.. He was not that quite and brooding Yash earlier.. Only the loss of his dear wife made him retreate in himself and the laughter was gone from his eyes and life.. that is what the family is trying hard to bring back.. Real life to Yash..

I already love all the characters.. Yash and Aarti and dubeys and also Pratik Bhabhi... and few others..

So let's wait for the full blast of all the character and their issues ..

Edited by evasumi - 13 years ago

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Rohini

@sugarplum5

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

Very interesting discussion. I enjoyed reading all of the posts. I am from a western culture so I am learning a lot from these discussions. The thing that amazes me the most is the fact that in these soaps, the women are the ones who treat other women the worse. For example, take the woman who attended the "jai mala " ceremony, who abused Aarti so much when she learnt that she was divorced. I really hope that in reality it is not so and if it isn't so, then why do they show such stuff.

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evasumi

@evasumi

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

Yea India has progressed well but unfortunately in India the divorcee woman are still not accepted easily. The thought process of the people have not changed that much..

But it is changing and I do agree with JR and do feel that certain things in India still considered "Old fashioned" but I think I do prefere it better then the modern ways of the west.. It still has the touch of our culture and traditions and I think I love it most above all..

like a simple thing of my younger sister calling me didi instead of calling me by name eva..

Or calling your MIL "MA" instead of calling her Mrs so and so...

So there are pluses and minuses every where you see.. You just have to get best of both the world and reform your thinking..

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Vanadhirayarservai

@vanadhi

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

oh lot of feminist voice here i bow to you i am Vanadi new to this forum...lets have a question to our selves

do u believe that men or boy is the only source to maintain the family identity ...or we womens do have rights over this issue ...from the long trance of human history all scriptures and religious text and rules are also written by men even gods are men dammit...

when men and women are in same flesh flocks of human race why ...there is a disgrace that after marriage only a women have to move to her's mil's place .? there too she never have full rights ...

a women must born with a initial and end with another initial ...

dont we have identities of our own ...common girls ...in our houses to our parental nursing is always given to Son and Dil...if a son has rights to stay along with his parents why not a daughter ...(isn't she is their DNA?) ...when will these scenarios will end...i think lets discuss it in separate thread

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silvermoonlight

@silvermoonlight

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

It is slowly changing

in the metro cities in India, I would think life is just too busy and hurried like it is in TO to eve care about that stuff

but in certain areas of india the idea of a woman having control over her destiny is not even a distant thought

I know in India older girls are marrying younger boys...heard of a few stories like that so...times r slowly changing

india is a mesh of difft cultures and values and after being taken over so many times by diff't countries whom brought their cultural ways...India is slowly coming into its own...

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celina30

@celina30

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#20

Thank you so very much for your many responses...I am from the Caribbean and I just 'stumbled upon' zeetv soaps last year (I loathe soaps except a few English ones) but I just started watching a couple and just wanting to see some characters get their comeuppance was what kept me watching but someone made a good point- the bad behaviour towards women are meted out by women themselves mostly...they are spiteful, petty , double-standard , like Yash's Mum- why would she even think that the girl would be so honoured to join the family/desperate that she will abandon her Son?

Our culture in the Caribbean is considered Western but our way of life is very casual, happy and we value relationships- yes, everywhere there is some sort of gender bias but here it is probably a middle ground between Indian and American/British culture, and I am so very proud of this- I dont think I can live anywhere else in the world but it is good to know that things are changing for women in India

AS for Yash, yes he lost his wife but it has been 2 years! Time heals but I was happy that he had a smile today- that was all- he's not expected to 'crack jokes all the time either

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