Thoughts 4.7.13 with info on creative changes

@Misti,

Misti and Angie

Really nice takes. Misti, thanks for the info about the creatives. That tells a lot about the recent disconnects that we as viewers have experienced in the characters and the storyline.

I enjoyed today's episode more from the point of view of seeing the impossible be made possible --i.e. the preparations for Sarita's PV. Not only that it all happened so fast, but that it happened at all --that Kamala and Sohan were able find a matchmaker and a prospective match-- in the scope of a single episode was in itself morbidly fascinating.

At best, Sarita's new-found avatar of the Self Sacrificing Suhagan is starting to get mildly annoying. Further, that she thinks this to be indicative of unconditional love makes me immediately want an antacid, before seriously questioning her sanity. All in all, it appears that the title Punar Vivah has caught the creatives in a bind of sorts that they are trying to fit the plot into the title rather than the other way around. No wonder, then, the plot is becoming slightly anorexic. The pace at which it unfolds is uneven, the characters are still in a flux, and there has neither been much of a background, as Misti keeps reminding us, nor as Angie laments, have the characters been flushed out enough for viewers to bond with them in order for them to connect with their stories and find them exciting.

I meander. Going back to Sarita, why agree to the Punar Vivah at all? Granted that she wants to give Raj his freedom, and that although late, she really gets it that Raj does not love her and may not do so in the future. This is a pragmatic and noble thought. We know that she comes from a cultured family and is educated. Why not take up a job? Why not serve the society with her talents than either leading an inglorious life of a doormat being regularly abused at the Jakhotia's house or subject herself to another marriage, whose outcome is at best uncertain? To me, it would have been more realistic if Sarita had had one of her outbursts at the very thought of Punar Vivah and questioned her husband's right to interfere in her life when he barely even knows what she looks like after her serving him and his family for ten years. Sarita may think she is "reformed," but domesticated and co-opted are better words to use in this situation. Someone in the forum --Myra, I think it might have been --recently diagnosed Sarita with stockholm syndrome, where due to living in an abusive situation, the victim loses her bearings and starts to identify with and think like her abusers. Likewise, Sarita has been making excuses on behalf of Raj, and now has started to bond with Kamala and Sohan as well. This itself could be an interesting development, provided the creatives bring this out and show the consequences on her behavior and her relationships. I do not know if that will happen.

Here is another question: Why do people, especially in the reel world, assume that jealousy is a sign of true love? Jealousy is an emotion that is triggered whenever there is insecurity. If seeing Sarita with another man makes Raj jealous, it is a testament of his own insecurity, and perhaps of his view of Sarita as a possession, which now might belong to another. Both Raj's guilt as Misti and Angie have pointed out, and his jealousy are problematic. They are very weak foundation stones to start an intimate relationship either with Divya or with Sarita. Om shantih.

Great post Misti and great comments Angie.

Originally posted by: Angie12

@Misti,

Finally managed to watch the show, but have to say that I nowadays make an effort to watch any TV serial as I don't really feel attached to any of these characters even though I like them. I think the problem was how they were introduced and have been shown that viewers are not attached to them. Anyway, the episode was not bad and had some interesting moments.Yes true. That's why it has now become very easy for me to stop watching any serial. The initial introduction and characterisation are very important to hook the audience so that the emotional connection is established. If that is not there then why will the general audience invest in a show.

Good observation with the change in creative team. Thanks.It does seem that the story is being changed. That's why there is this sudden change in Sarita and Raj. It seems that the writer is from Balaji camp. He has written for majority of its top shows. What I found interesting is that he is also the writer of two old DD shows..Idhar udhar and Mungerilal ke haseen sapne. It kind of feels that I am watching Sohanlal ke hassen sapne. 😆Coming back to the episode, I liked the part between Kamu and Sohu when they were acting as salesman both in front of Meenaxi and that family. Also, I found Kamu's fake act of loving Sarita as very funny and her telling off to shocked daughters that Divya would be treated differently than Sarita. If Divya had come to this house 10 years ago, she would have got Sarita's treatment. She would have more than likely got the worst treatment than Sarita as she was from a middle class family unlike Sarita who is from a rich family. But now Divya is successful, famous and rich, there is different standards for her. Yes to all here.

Sohu of course would act magnanimous as this is an investment for him. Previously, he too had spent money on throwing that party for Divya and doing all that preparation for her entry. He is quite stingy and only loosens his purse strings when he has a high expectation of return. He is quite a good business man. He knows that one has to invest in order to get good return. Unfortunately the commodity that he usually sells (Raj) always behaves oppositely to what he has been manufactured to behave. ...hence his investment falls apart. But Sohu is still optimistic that the product of his factory will prove to be successful for him, 😉 So now he is all willing to take blame for Raj's marriage when he previoulsy used to blame Raj. Also he is acting all modern who is supporting breaking a relationship because he moves with times. Kamu of course took that opportunity to take a dig at him that she stayed with him because she was from old times where breaking marriage was not acceptable. Then Sohu was acting all injured when Raj shouted at him. He acted as if he is doing this because Sarita wants it. This pair is quite funny. Yes they are and I was thankful for their presence. Sarita's moping will son drive me up the wall.

Now coming to Raj and Sarita. Raj yesterday had come pretty self-absorbed to me the way he was acting so mad at Sarita's proposal. But it seems that you were right. There is guilt in him that is driving this fury at seeing his family's open greed and treatment of Sarita like a cattle that is going to be auctioned. I like your question of what would Raj do to assuage that guilt. I think we have a fair idea where all this might be going. You are right that this is the first time for him as none of his sisters have gone through this yet and he was not involved in setting up the marriage the first time. Also he used to be be in his own world and so never noticed Sarita's humiliations. Now he is becoming aware of that and hence this must increase his guilty.

One interesting fact is the way Raj is with his family. Any other guy would take his family to task for their behavior. But it seems that Raj seems to have given up on his family. He stays aloof from them but doesn't stop them from behaving in whatever way they want. Today Sarita told him that he must be going to Divya or calling her when he used to get mad earlier. So it seems that Divya was his escape from his family when they would make him too angry. But it doesn't seem that he ever told Divya about the family. So he would escape from the house and would get happy. Looks like Divya is emerging to be the prime candidate who is going to be used and reused by the members of this family either as an emotional anchor or to get what they want or what they think is important. Maybe that's why he felt so much rejection when she left him. He is quite self-centered in his own way and must have thought that his needs were as important as her family's needs. That's why there is all this injured pride at Divya's "wrongdoings". Wonder when will he realize that he failed Divya rather than the other way around? He doesn't get mad at Sarita because he knows that he is a bigger culprit when it comes to Sarita. Yes here.

Now finally there is Sarita. Yes, she has evolved in the sense that she has let go of her bitterness. Of course, it is not realistic that somebody can shake off their bitterness at abuse and wastage of life for 10 years so easily. But being this serial world, transformations happen within days. So it is good for Sarita that she let that bitterness go that was harming her the most.

But there is not much more growth in her character. Of course, that should come over time if CVs move in that direction. I was feeling sympathetic to her because of what she is going through. But before too she had tolerated abuse at Raj's family's hands because of her determination or hope to get love from him. Now too she is tolerating all these humiliations for Raj's sake. So she remains the same. Yes her over all characterisation has not changed. She told Raj that she likes the love she is finally getting from Kamla and others. But she never craved for that love or care. She only wanted Raj's love or care. I think Kamla's dialogue was more for the audience...to generate sympathy.

But she is still in her delusional world when she tells Raj that he never did anything wrong to her. I was shaking my head at her at that time. He is the one most responsible for her condition even though others including she had hand in it. But she is absolving him of all the blame. Then she is getting ready for PV etc. well her attention is now sacrifice...so that takes precedence over anything else and you have to remember that Raj is her love guru.😉...what a combination.both guru-shishya don't have any clue as to what true love means.

In fact, I am surprised that a proposal even came for her. On one hand, they are showing that this is a conservative town with conservative values and that's why Sarita stayed with Raj because a husband's love is the only thing worth having. Then they show that they have managed to find a groom whose parents are willing to choose a girl even though not a single paper of divorce has been filed in the court. In India, it takes a long time to get a divorce even if both parties are willing. Oh well, in the serials everything is possible. Like too, I am also bemused by this fact that marriage proposals are accepted even though there has been no divorce. Tell me about it...I was scratching my head here. I know that it is a tv show but shouldn't it have some teeny weeny aspect of reality in it?

Coming back to Sarita, I know they are going towards the track of jealousy and Raj realizing his feelings for Sarita. But I would prefer if they show Sarita gaining the wisdom and backing off from PV rather than Raj preventing it. Right now, she is willing to marry anybody he chooses for her. I still do not think that she is in love with Raj because he has not given her anything. Now she is giving him credit for showing her the meaning of true love. But all his concern for her was what a normal human being would do. Here he had lived with her for 10 years and also has a guilty conscience. Hopefully they show her realization that getting into PV is doing injustice to another person just as Raj did injustice to her by marrying her despite not being over Divya. I agree that her actions and Divya's actions are very different as Divya also told Raj some truths he was unwilling to confront. Sarita only gives adulation to Raj and tells him that he is right in everything. That is not the true definition of love.

Finally, I think Raj will be the one to ask Divya for help in stopping Sarita's remarriage. Maybe that's how Divya will re-enter this household. Previously it was Sarita who made her come to make Raj aware of her. Now it is Raj's turn to ask Divya to come back and make Sarita aware that she is making a mistake by thinking of PV. I think so too...that it might be Raj who is going to bring back Divya.Or they can show dadi and her best friend doing it.

Misti really nce analysis...more than this, i cant write...

Thanks for the info Misti, lets see what these new guys van do to the story and how can they bring divya back! Felt really sorry for sarita when that matchmaker was analysing her but its good that this time raj isnt oblivious to what happens to her and actually cares for the girl, guilt has made him aware now..too bad sarita will see it as jelousy and fall deeper for him...lets see if cvs make this pv happen,. really curious now if they do make raj a love sick pupy after 10 years of ignorance..

Totally loved your write up...Thankyou!! :-)

My take on the character Sheila posing such questions is due to the behavioural changes that she has seen in brother towards her Sis-in-law. After seeing the falling in the arms, the candle light dinner maybe she has started to feel that her brother can give Sarita a happy life.