Thoughts 3.7.13

Well Sarita has been changed by Divya but she has not completely changed. When she gets a bee in her bonnet, her entire concentration is on the bee and everything else becomes secondary. Earlier she was on a mission to get Raj and during that time she did not much care of Divya's feelings or thought. She was just focused on her aim..that is to get Raj. Now her current favorite bee is to sacrifice for Raj hence Raj is of main importance…………..so she is not telling the truth to Raj that she does not want to be free of him……..she is also not that noticing that when she was talking to Divya regarding her stay in the house, Divya was looking completely distressed which further increased when Sarita gifted her the mangalsutra. If Divya can do so much so that Sarita's marriage to Raj is saved, then why will she accept the mangalsutra? Sarita knows that Divya does not love Raj and she also overheard Divya telling Raj that she does not love him and loves Gaurav. She even convinced Garav regarding triangles and parallel lines…….so from where she got the idea that Divya loved Raj. I don't think that Divya ever told her all that….or is it to do with Raj now?….since Raj still loves Divya and wants to be with her then that means that Divya also loves Raj and wants to be with him. I know that Divya does love Raj, but Sarita does not know that. Then it became much more interesting………Sarita on her Raj sacrifice mission without even realizing that Gaurav is present asked Divya to tell the truth that whether she loves Raj or not and whether she came to this house not only for Sarita but also for Raj……….that he moves on and becomes whole again. It is good that she had the courage to openly ask Divya to say the truth when she found the necklace in Divya's bag but Sarita did not know that Gaurav knew that Divya loves Raj. Infact few days back she was convincing Gaurav that he should not feel insecure!

Anyway good that Divya left and also I am happy that she finally confessed to Gaurav that she cannot lie to him anymore. That's true. It is not fair to play with his emotions and give him the hope that she might fall in love with him in the long run. Yesterday I did mention that by marrying Gaurav when she is still in love with Raj, isn't she repeating history which is quite similar to that of Raj and Sarita? I am happy that she did the right thing and also explained to Gaurav that he might get hurt listening to all this but it is better than be disappointed every day after being married to her. Looks like she finally realized this after she saw what has happened to Sarita because earlier she thought that she will be able to marry Gaurav and move on in life despite not being able to love him and loving Raj, instead. So her time spent with Sarita did help her in some way and helped her character to grow and made her realize some truths.

Back in the house when Sarita was trying to convince Raj that he should get back Divya and not repeat the same mistake again……..why was he having a temper tantrum? Maybe didn't like Sarita telling him the truth…..looks his ego and emotions have been hurt that Divya is always choosing someone over him and he does not like being told that he is wrong. Then when Sarita tell him that he should get her remarried then he again flares up………arre baba it was his own idea now why is he angry? That Sarita wanted him desperately and now wants to give him up? Does he actually knows what he wants?…..I mean it looks as if he is angry at both…why since they are not fighting over him because that might make him feel important? He is his father's son………Sohu feels important when Kamu and Madam B have a match over him….but Raj is not getting that. Does he think that both the girls are not giving him importance when actually they are………Sarita is on a sacrifice mission so that Raj her husband is happy and Divya is also stepping back so that Raj the human being gets happiness by moving on with Sarita. Both in their own ways are thinking of him and here he is having a tantrum. Living in the pagalkhana has really messed up his brains that he cannot see something that is right in front of his eyes. Then when his sister overhears the getting Sarita married plan, he again becomes worried that everyone will get to know about it and Sarita rightly says that let them. Now is Raj planning on smuggling in prospective grooms to see Sarita so that his family is not aware of it?

Anyway Shila gets a heart attack and starts throwing a fit after hearing the remarriage bit. Dadi is also sad ………..I know that in conservative societies girls like Sarita do have a tough time…..I mean that after their marriage falls apart…..and both of them know that Sarita loves her husband Raj..but shouldn't they also think that it is better that this hollow relationship is ended, that Sarita has wasted 10 years of her life and that she deserves some happiness. If Raj cannot give her that then why shouldn't she have the right to them either through remarriage or leading an independent life. Probably they are agitated because they know that Sarita has said all this not because she genuinely wants to leave but because this way Raj can be free and happy and that Sarita as a wife wants that for her husband. But the best part was Sohanlal…who very sadly declares that if a couple is not happy then they should separate………when he himself has not done anything o that sort. He has kept both his mistress and his wife. Guess Divya's bank balance has brought this sudden enlightment in him. He also very sweetly owns up to his mistake is forcing Raj to get married but then also excuses it in the next sentence that he did it because he is the father. So isn't he doing the same thing again? I mean in a more underhand way………….he does not know the link between Divya and Raj so isn't he again repeating the same thing. Kamu is also not to be left behind………..she is now worried that on whom is she going to shout at and that shouting at Sarita has become a habit………so all the things that Divya told her has gone out of the window.

I liked the song at the end….all the four characters at their own personal crossroads with the thunderstorm in the background……….and Raj is the only one getting wet in it.

Originally posted by: goolab

Thanks nice I did not watch yet only read yours

Originally posted by: Angie12

Now coming to characters, all three (and now Gauarv too) are troubled souls. But Divya seems to be most evolved among three. Yes

Sarita - She has changed because of Divya coming into her life. She was living a static life and now has come out partially out of her illusionary world. She has blamed both Divya and her destiny for 10 years for her life. But seeing Divya who was willing to do so much to save her marriage, she realized that it was Raj who cannot move on whether Divya is there or not.

However, the basic character remains the same. She is very focused on one goal and that is Raj. So she wanted to get him for 10 years. Now she wants him to be happy and so is sacrificing. Her actions always revolve around Raj. But it would be unrealistic to expect her to evolve to somebody totally different in just few days when she has been conditioned at least for 10 years (or more) to be in love with a husband. So for 10 years, she absolved Raj of all blame and continues to do even now. In fact, she is so grateful that Raj showed her kindness in last few days even if it was under the mistaken belief that she was dying.Usually the basic nature of a person remains the same. There might be some changes in aperson due to changing circumstances but the core values usually does not change. Although Sarita has lost her bitterness which she had developed due to the constant abuse and neglect, but still she has not developed empathy/sympathy for people who are not the focus of her attention. I also don't expect her too do all this so quickly and was actually relieved when she was shown to be still the same person with some changes due to the care and sympathy she received from Divya.

She was not wrong in stating that it is better that they end this unhealthy dysfunctional relationship and she marries someone else. But this is not her idea and she is doing it once again for Raj. So how can even this decision be good. The best is to walk away from this kind of relationship without making another mistake once again. So just as Raj marrying her was wrong, her doing PV at this point is wrong because she is doing it for someone else's sake. Yes but for that to happen she has to come of the husband syndrome. I don't know what will make her take that step.

She still has not learnt that happiness can not dependent on somebody else. Her desperation/sacrifices are all catered towards Raj. How will that make her free of him ever? Happiness has to come from within and every individual needs to find it himself/herself without making it revolve around somebody's actions/reactions. I doubt that creatives will show that. They will show that her patience, love and sacrifice brought back one thing in her life that she always wanted - Raj. Not a good message to show as it endorses the view that tolerating abuse for a husband can be rewarding.Yes again

Then her lack of empathy in her for others continues. Yes, she is grateful to Divya because Divya despite being a stranger cared for her when nobody else has (her parents are missing and inlaws are atrocious. Then on top of that was indifferent and passive Raj). But she disregarded Divya and Gaurav's feelings when she asked her to stop her wedding and she continued to ignore Divya's torn feelings. She was doing it once again despite seeing how badly affected Divya was with the whole fiasco and was desperate to escape this house. But what was so striking was how she forced Divya to confess her love for Raj without caring that Gaurav is sitting there. She knows that Gaurav loves Divya and yet had no qualms about causing him hurt. So she becomes very self absorbed when it comes to her goals. Right now her single minded focus is getting Raj to be happy even if she has to hurt other people for doing that. Yes...I was shaking my head at that scene...just few days back she was trying to calm down Gaurav and now she is doing then when Gaurav can clearly hear everything. Wonder whether similar thing also happened when she married Raj. I mean she was crying when she got to know that Raj has run away and that he has a girlfriend...but then on the wedding night she is smiling and sitting on her bed and wasshocked when Raj told her that this relationship is of no value to him. Even in the wedding photograph she is smiling and Raj is snarling. Wonder whether with single minded determination she got married...maybe she did not have any choice, maybe she thought that with time she will make him forget the girl in his life...whatever the reasons where since she was focussing on getting married she did not pay much attentionto Raj's expression. Hence on the wedding got a shock and her smiles turned into disbelief and tears. I am not excusing Raj here...what he did was wrong, I am just refering to Sarita being focussed on one thing.

Now some admire her for standing up to Kamla's abuse. To me it seems that it was the best way she could survive in these abusive circumstances and she became bitter as a consequence of that reaction to survive. If she had, she would not have tolerated all this not only from Kamla, but also from Raj. One needs to love herself/himself before they can love the other. She needs to take care of herself before she can take care of another human being (Raj). She thinks that whatever Raj did in 10 years was not his fault. If her life revolves around her husband to such an extent that she is ready to do anything for him, then chances are that she won't have any self respect when he is concerned. The irritating part for me is that they are equating it to devotion but to me this is a reaction of a conditioned mind who has been taught that the husband is the cente of one's universe and even if he is bad still one has to forgive. Your description of Stockholm syndrome is quite apt...

The question is will they ever show Sarita's proper growth or will her actions continued to be called devotion. They compare her to Meera, but have forgotten that Kanha was not a human being but God. He also was not abusive to Meera. Also Meera did live her life the way she wanted to despite all restrictions from an extremely conservative society. Despite her devotion to Kanha, she did also lead a wordly life where she was married. She only left the house after she became a widow. Meera was a true feminist in a society of chauvanistic people because she lived life on her terms. That's why these references to Savitri and Meera in context of explaining these serial characters amuse me as these serial characters are far removed from these strong characters of Meera, Savitri or Sita. Yes to all here.

Raj - He is one completely messed up person. Just as his family is dysfunctional, so is he. On top of that, ego drives his actions. He was accusing Divya of all sort of betrayal without thinking once about her feelings. When he feels hurt or betrayed, he loses perspective and causes hurt to even those he loves. Today his bruised ego (Sarita giving him what he wanted in the first place) made him lash out at Sarita even though it was his idea to begin with. So either creatives are trying to show that he has hidden feelings for Sarita and was stunned at Sarita taking his idea seriously or he does these things in bruised ego. We won't be shown that back story but it seems consistent with his bruised ego 10 years ago where he couldn't understand Divya trying to fulfill her responsibilities and married Sarita in anger,, he is doing the same thing now.

He is also a very self absorbed character where his pain/feelings take precedent over feelings/pains of others (Divya and Sarita). aimf had written about similarities between him and Sohu and there are lot of them. He wants to impose his will on others, and gets angry when things don't go his way. I was also thinking that how he was planning to get Sarita remarried if he was going to keep it secret from the family.

He doesn't deserve either Divya or Sarita. He needs to be alone and realize that people have to live with their choices and need to make peace with the consequences of their choices.

I really wonder will they ever evolution of Raj and Sarita or will just be using superficial things to make them come together and call it reward for their suffering.

There might be another option regarding why he was angry at Sarita ...that he might have figured it out that Sarita is doing all this for him. That she is sacrificing for him. Since he knows his family he also might be wary and angry that his parents are going to take advantage of this...which to him might mean again taking advantage of Sarita.

Divya - Divya to me became the character she was shown in the beginning. She makes wrong decisions, but has the capacity to realize her mistakes and take the consequences of those mistakes. She was right in leaving that house despite Sarita's entreaties and also she was right in breaking up with Gaurav. She finally realized that she would be doing injustice to Gaurav if she enters in this relationship without resolving her feelings for Raj. Yes to all here.

Gaurav of course is broken hearted, but he wouldn't have been able to take Divya's feelings for too long because he was expecting her to switch her feelings for Raj to him sooner than later.Yes to all here.

Finally, Sohan Lal is one cunning guy who takes advantage of every situation. Now he is acting all remorseful for forcing Raj to marry Sarita when he did it to get all that dowry. Actually, Sarita should take back her dowry with 10 years of interest. If nothing else, it would give her a good financial start in life without relying either on Raj or her parents. Legally too, it belongs to her. Sohu would be changing his tune if that happens.Yes to all here.😆

Then there is Kamla. I was wondering if she would start changing. But there is not even a single regret and the enlightenment did not last even a day. What a character. She is planning to be modern MIL to Divya. Is that even possible with her? Again, Divya had a good escape from this lunatic family. Why would she want to have relationship with these crazy people?😆

Then the tendency to abuse one another runs in this family. So far, Sohu, Kamu, two daughters and Dadi have done it. Raj too has done his share of emotional abuse. Finally today it was Shiela's turn to try to slap her younger sister because she was hearing something she didn't want to listen.

Wonder how much a psyciatrist charge for the family therapy? Will they get group discount or will the doctor charge double as every single character in this family is quite screwed up.
😆 Good question Angie but my sympathies rests with the psychiatrist.
😆

Originally posted by: aimf

Misti

Very nice analysis. I like what you said about Sarita having an obsessive personality by being totally focused on one thing. Thanks aimf

Angie

Wonder how much a psyciatrist charge for the family therapy? Will they get group discount or will the doctor charge double as every single character in this family is quite screwed up

This part made me laugh.


Overall, I think that the creatives are playing with the profession and personalities of the Jakhotias. They deal with breaking down things and recycling them in their lives, and therefore their ways of relating to one another is not unlike the broken down appliances that adorn the godown where Raj does most of his business.

Each character, much like the pieces of equipment they deal with, is dysfunctional, with their personality in a state of disrepair. If all the broken raddi items in the godown perchance had human minds and could talk with one other, their dynamics would resemble the interactions of this family.

Each character primarily identifies as a victim either overtly or latently, and this becomes a big chip on the shoulder. Therefore they become self-serving, rigid and set in their ways. Kamla, Sarita, Raj, the 2 girls, Sohan --each of them nurse a wound that no one but they alone can heal. As long as they are unable to introspect into their own beliefs or stop blaming others for their plight in life, they cannot emerge from the situations in which they find themselves.

Divya, arriving as a blast from the past, has set things into motion, by disrupting the status quo and bringing to the fore things that need to be confronted without self-blame or blaming others. She has been able to transform Sarita, who has lost her bitter edge. She has shaken up Raj and made him confront some truths that he was loath to. She has also cleaned up her own life by breaking a dishonest engagement with Gaurav. I liked the way you compared between the raddis in Raj's shop and the mental condition of his family. All of them should be tagged with "handle with care"😉 or "harmful if touched"😉

They say that things are most uncertain when they are in a flux. All the primary characters are having to confront situations that they never faced before, thereby making them vulnerable. When people feel vulnerable, logic and reason are overpowered by emotional insecurities and the need for forging bonds that may or may not be in their highest or best interest. That is why I liked the last scene and specially liked it when the kept a thunderstorm in the background...it remindd me of ou writing about thinderstorms and how they wash away detritus becuase that is what is happening to these 4 characters, with Raj facing the brunt of it.

I wonder what circumstances are going to dictate Divya's reentry into the mental asylum aka Jakhotia House. Yeh I wonder that too...wonder will Raj bring her back. He has asked for her her help before to get Sarita remarried .He might say that Sarita is her responsibilty too.

Originally posted by: aimf

Overall, I think that the creatives are playing with the profession and personalities of the Jakhotias. They deal with breaking down things and recycling them in their lives, and therefore their ways of relating to one another is not unlike the broken down appliances that adorn the godown where Raj does most of his business.

Each character, much like the pieces of equipment they deal with, is dysfunctional, with their personality in a state of disrepair. If all the broken raddi items in the godown perchance had human minds and could talk with one other, their dynamics would resemble the interactions of this family.

Each character primarily identifies as a victim either overtly or latently, and this becomes a big chip on the shoulder. Therefore they become self-serving, rigid and set in their ways. Kamla, Sarita, Raj, the 2 girls, Sohan --each of them nurse a wound that no one but they alone can heal. As long as they are unable to introspect into their own beliefs or stop blaming others for their plight in life, they cannot emerge from the situations in which they find themselves.

Divya, arriving as a blast from the past, has set things into motion, by disrupting the status quo and bringing to the fore things that need to be confronted without self-blame or blaming others. She has been able to transform Sarita, who has lost her bitter edge. She has shaken up Raj and made him confront some truths that he was loath to. She has also cleaned up her own life by breaking a dishonest engagement with Gaurav.

They say that things are most uncertain when they are in a flux. All the primary characters are having to confront situations that they never faced before, thereby making them vulnerable. When people feel vulnerable, logic and reason are overpowered by emotional insecurities and the need for forging bonds that may or may not be in their highest or best interest.

I wonder what circumstances are going to dictate Divya's reentry into the mental asylum aka Jakhotia House.