From Shakti's point of view - Is he right? - Page 3

While parents claim to love all children equally, how they express it to each child is different. The firstborns, generally speaking, have to live with the "expectations" of the family. As first time parents they tend to take their role seriously so they monitor and demand a whole lot more of their child. The younger ones always enjoy the perks as parents tend to relax more and give them more leeway.

A child raised with love, admiration and positive reinforcements turns out to be a confident, secure adult while the ones who are used, abused and demanded to tow the line end up with low self-esteem and self-worth as is the case with KN. They tend to use negative behavior to draw attention to themselves, be it substance abuse, violence or deceit. It's their way of saying "notice me, I do matter and I want you to love me".

Parents may not voice it as much yet they send subliminal messages to their children about how they perceive each of them by the way they treat them. The children in turn use these cues to establish their relationships within the family. Children mirror back to their parents how they are being treated but often parents may be too busy to notice it.🤔

Often times, people's incapacity to express love comes from being raised in a strict and demanding environment. Children learn how to express emotions before the age of 5 from the adults around them and it's hardwired in their brains to follow the map for the rest of their lives. When one takes the time to reflect on his/her behavior it leads him/her to the feedback one receives in the early years of life.

This should be a wake up call for SS. He was right about one thing. the problem was with KN...his flesh and blood. SS loves his children in his own way. He always communicated to KN he was a few marbles short of a dozen, the dumb one who didn't measure up to his babua. Will SS ever admit to his shortcomings in parenting KN contrasted by his blatant bias in his Baba's favor? K got away with a whole lot more being the ladla than KN did with the putdowns while being the obedient son. SS's time to learn... reap what you sow.😳

KN was practically browbeaten to measure up to SS's expectations. He was a child that was used and abused while K was adored and put on a pedestal. SS taught him the Takur way of life of bullying, violence, etc. and like any child looking for parental approval and love he continued to be the obedient son who did what his bauji demanded. SS even used KN to do all his "criminal work" when he plotted to electrocute Prats and encouraged him to get rid of Kesar among others, while making sure K was untouched by it all.😕

From the get go, KN was a man used and abused by his parents with few approving and loving moments coming his way. KN has always voiced his displeasure at being treated like a second-class citizen while K was adored and got away with a whole lot. KN as the oldest son was expected to show respect and indulge K while K got away with his in-your-face challenges to KN. In fairness, there were a few moments when SS did remind K that KN was his older brother and to treat him with well.

It's no wonder KN couldn't give up his chance to taunt K about his infertility problem. He saw himself a winner by providing an heir while K couldn't and he enjoyed rubbing his face in it. KN's gleefully telling his family he plotted to keep K behind bars for a while shows how deep his resentment runs these days.

KN saw himself as SS's right hand man in the early days of the show. He has continued to voice his displeasure at SS spoiling K with all his ladla pyaar while they made demands of him. In response what he got was a smack down verbally or physically...slipper slaps, beaten with a stick. KN turned out to be a drunk and womanizer but SS didn't interfere with that aspect of his life as long as KN was ready to attend to business bright and early the next morning. 😕

KN's reminding the family that K was a dead-weight around the house didn't sit well with them even when they knew it was true. While KN was expected to measure up to his parents' expectations and demands the only concessions they made for him was overlooking his kotewali visits and drunken state.

All his life he's watched K get all that adoration and a carefree life which only stoked his resentment toward K. To add to it Prats with K's support got away with doing what she/they wanted while he and his wife be it Kesar or Men-ka rani were expected to tow the line. The double standards only fanned the flames of his fury, bitterness and outrage towards them.

The nefarious Naiki took full advantage of KN's insecurity and vulnerability and directed him to do her bidding by dangling herself as the prize. While rebelling against his father's favoritism KN failed to realize he was falling into Naiki's net.

For a man who has always been a second-class citizen and relegated to the back seat except when SS wanted "things" done, it's to be expected that KN will get carried away by feeling powerful at the moment. KN feels like he is breaking the chains of bonds from a family that has used and abused him all his life. K has been up to no good at times too but he almost always got away with it.

KN's failure to bond with his son may stem from his failure to feel the close bond with his bauji esp. when he sees the contrast in how SS showers his love on K. K in contrast feeling loved all his life is able to express that love to Samar more naturally.

Will KN byil buddhi be his saving grace and earn him forgiveness from his family down the road?

P.S: This track sheds light on familial relationships, the pitfalls and fallout from parenting choices.