That's the way it is !!

Feminism directly confronts the idea that one person or set of people [has] the right to impose definitions of reality on others. ~Liz Stanley and Sue Wise

Monday began where Friday left off ...Two strong minded women waging a battle to control a simpleton...............

Kesar sat in the middle and watched and heard the pros and cons of the two sides and finally opted for the famliar and known devil rather than the unknown monster ...Pratigya suffered her first defeat in the battle and seemed broken and needed some comfort and solace from GD [the very woman whom the system had successfully broken down and pushed to the point of silence]....Krishna was silent or rather the conscience was silent and watched the triumph of lies and falsehood..


Kesar :

Women have been taught that, for us, the earth is flat, and that if we venture out, we will fall off the edge. ~Author Unknown

She was going to be the poster woman for "empowerment of woman"...but Alas ! it did not transpire so ....This 'Poster woman was browbeaten by Parampara,lack of financial support and Family support,She was found to be short on courage,deficient on determination ...but still clinging on grimly to the thoughts of a reformed Husband and another child ....


Komal :

I am woman! I am invincible!

A daughter to be proud of..A girl who can put her brother's to shame ..she single handedly did what shakthi,SS,Amma could not do ..she successfully convinced the witless Kesar into withdrawing the FIR by giving an accurate picture of what Kesar will behold if she pursues in this venture ....Komal passed with flying colors as a loyal child who bludgeon an already battered woman into a meek compliance

A insensitive woman ,who did not or could not empathize with a woman whose dreams and hopes lay shattered, whose cherished dream of becoming a mother was squelched by the might of her brother..An uncaring woman who could not even mourn for the death of an innocent child ...An amoral woman who did not give two hoots to the right and wrongness of her action's


Pratigya :

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. ~Lois Wyse


For the first time in her crusade ,she was confronted with reality ...and realized that fight for justice,right can not be won on words,courage esp when confronted with clout,influence,Money...

A valuable lesson was learnt , you cant fight on the behalf of victim ,when the victim herself is not ready to fight ...



All in all an episode which stuck to the ground realities ,rather than giving in to the temptation of going romantic ...This episode highlighted the fact that Kesar cannot be helped by even a million Pratigya,unless Kesar herself wants to fight ...This fight was a doomed one right from the start....the death knell for justice sounded when the Abused woman was brought into the abuser's house itself ..Nothing could have exemplified the irony than this simple act ...This clearly showed that helplessness of Pratigya and Kesar ..

they hoped to wage a war on the enemy ,staying in the enemy camp,surrounded by the enemies and win against them ...how naive can it be !!They took on a enemy who was more powerful,more influential than them without chalking out a strategy,without a game plan and based solely on rhetoric not even bothering about the repercussion's that was bound to fall upon them once they lost the case ...where would Kesar go once the case was decided ?what about her future ..Kesar has no education nor any skills ,even if she were to learn this in the shelter,will she be able lead her life on this meager earnings [remember abused or not,she has become used to good food,bed and a palatial home] ..Kesar is a young woman..will the society's wolf let her alone ..how long can she survive in the heartless society with her modesty intact ...or has she to be confined to shelter for the rest of her life...in that case she has merely exchanged one prison for another ...Is that why she fought for her rights ,to be placed in another cell ..waiting ..waiting to be truly liberated ....

The action taken by Kesar y'day was in keeping with her mental state and upbringing ... for a woman who has been brought up on the philosophy of Pati being Parameshwar , , one who has been brainwashed into thinking that woman are an object ,to be used and abused by man ... to expect such a woman to bravely take on her husband is like expecting a toddler to arm itself with the latest gadget and go into a world war to wage a battle against battle hardened veterans ....The toddler will be vanquished in sec ..

justice,right and wrong sounds good...on paper ...but in real world ,it is survival that matters ..Retreating when you are ill prepared ,weak ,when you do not have the requisite resources is not the sign of cowardice ....justice ,rights and wrong cannot be fought and won on gungho emotions and personal convictions ...Had it been so simple..then Ang san suuyiki would have been freed long ago ..had it been the case ,Nelson Mandela would not have had to endure many years of confinement ...had it been the case ,the Tienanmen protest would have been a success,..
Justice has to be fought using all front ,from the system,media,organization,influence etc etc...and even then one may not get permanent justice...

would like to leave you with a true case ....

This happened a long time ago ...The place is the tribal region of Orissa ..a forest officer was transferred to a remote hill station ...there he was attracted to a tribal girl ,he seduced her and got her pregnant and refused to do the honorable thing ...The girl was courageous and undaunted by his refusal ..she sought justice and lodged a police complaint ,but the police refused to take any action claiming it was consensual blah ,blah ....undeterred by police intimidation,she next approached some voluntary organization...who took up the fight..the media got wind of it and soon it was the most celebrated case and the media fought on her behalf relentlessly ..the law stepped in and ordered that the officer should be ready face the wrath of law or he shud do the honorable thing that would ensure the girl will get the respect she lost ,scared the officer Married her and restored her dignity and status in her community .


................Hurray for justice!!


......Not quite ....3 years later..when the media went to visit her..they discovered that once the media attention was withdrawn ..the hubby threw her out along with her son and re-married another woman from his community ..this Girl lost out on her community support by marrying an outsider, the voluntary organization taught her some life skills which could barely meet her needs ..and she lived on the edges of her village ,ignored by her people ..in extreme poverty ....That is Reality ...


By all means fight !! Fight for Right ..but let that fight be tempered with prudence ....Fight with a clear eyed strategy and not with a clouded heart .... Fight after knowing your strength and ur enemies weakness ...but do not tilt at windmills ,it will be ur lance that will get broken..


The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source. ~Lucretia Mott

Superb and wonderful post! Total credit to you for taking the time and patience to share these lovely thoughts!

Originally posted by: Madmadgirl

Superb and wonderful post! Total credit to you for taking the time and patience to share these lovely thoughts!

Peace and love to all my sisters!

Thank You !! MM Girl ...


it was something that was bubbling away since y'day and I had to get it out ...now I am at peace ...

and Peace and love be unto you too ...😊

Helloooo

Originally posted by: anu-s

I was waiting for this post since morning yaar.......Why were you so late today?😊

A very thoughtfull post...😊...Loved your quotations in green.....very apt......😊

Sad to read about that tribal girl.....the culprit is enjoying life...very sad...

But this is a very harsh reality of our society ........where women are mentally, physically abused ......and did not have that courage and strength to fight back...Kesar depicts such type of women from our society....

Hi Anu,

Sorry Yaar ... I was quite busy and was able to come online only in the noon...

Thank you ...


yes !! That bugger is the proud father of 3 kids from his second wife ....

But this girl did fight back ,Anu....but still was defeated ...

Kesar depicts a woman who has never been taught to think of herself as a human...she is somebody's daughter,wife,DIL..but not a woman ,a human capable of emotion's ..it has been dinned into her head that she shud subjugate her needs,desires and emotions ..any one coming spouting radical views will only elicit a fear ....a reluctance to embrace this new found ideas .....And Kesar showed this y'day ..

tanthya......the quotes were simply awesome..... 👏 👏 👏 lovely post...im glad i came on the forum.... 😃
n i agree with what u said............a sad but realistic approach taken by the CV's this time....i guess most people(me too) were expecting kesar to speak up this time coz it was beyond limit...but we expected a bit too much from a woman like her........she has her mind-set of the kind wher u have to be with ur husband no matter what he does....... this woman will really have a long way to go before she really understands her true identity......that soully of her own n not dependant on others...... 😊
komal justified her real self.......a thakur daughter who has the guts to come in the lime-light n save her mother n bro.....n not even slightly bothered about the kind of crime they committed....
n lastly pratigya......i was fearing that 4 her.....kesar stepped out of the case taking with her all the thakur sympayhies n pratigya is the one who will have to face the wrath of the devil i.e. amma........

Originally posted by: HamiSky

Helloooo

Bang on Madam!! U hit ion the bull's eye!! :-)

So sad that Kesar bowed down without even a fight..UFF!!

Pratigya did not take this fight to win ..she wanted at least smth is done to show that thye ahve done some wrong... she wanted to tell Kesar..u neednot live the way you live now...do msth so that u r also considered a humab being than just a wooden piece in this house,,,, but was not aware that "ettu suraikkai karikku uthavathu".... little did she know that its a mission impossible to get Kesar jaisi aurat to let her off her old age idealogies. (but I never mind a wife treating her husband God-figure..it he desersves that..)

Komal..my God...I had always thot that she is true to her heart. I dont even blame her for forcing Kesar to get back the complaint...as she mite have been impusled to free her mom n bro..cudnt hink of anything or anyone above her blood ..but the way she chose to frame it against on Pratigya...puts her in bad light for sure... Hope she is shown to be repenting on this act of hers.

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Hami ,


Finally ...seeing ur long ....after a lot of one liner posts ..

Why sadness.. ..this is what Kesar type woman would do ...offer her an solid and tangible alternative and then get her to fight !! instead of doing that you are offering her lip service and asking her to fight for her rights .....

Pratigya make up is such that ,she cannot bear any wrongs ....but she shud also have thought out , from where will Kesar launch her fight ?? and after the fight,would Shakthi accept Kesar as her wife, If not !! what will Kesar do ??.. she erred in not thinking thru...

Do u know what I found very surprising y'day..Y'day Pratigya will be telling Kesar ,if you decide to fight ,I will stand by you..I will support you ...A wholly admirable sentiment in an financial independent and self reliant woman..but here Pratigya herself relies on SS for her food..or did she mean that her father will support Kesar ....if so..then for how long ?? Indian judiciary takes years to come to a conclusion ,will the Thakur's be sitting idle until then...Pressure,enormous and unimaginable pressure would be brought upon Kesar ...or she would have been murdered ..

or even simply..SS would have intimated to her parents..and her parents would have killed her ..

Tanthya...yesterday Aman asked Arushi for a cup of "Coffee"........🤣

Do you remember something??😃😆

Originally posted by: mushirox

tanthya......the quotes were simply awesome..... 👏 👏 👏 lovely post...im glad i came on the forum.... 😃
n i agree with what u said............a sad but realistic approach taken by the CV's this time....i guess most people(me too) were expecting kesar to speak up this time coz it was beyond limit...but we expected a bit too much from a woman like her........she has her mind-set of the kind wher u have to be with ur husband no matter what he does....... this woman will really have a long way to go before she really understands her true identity......that soully of her own n not dependant on others...... 😊
komal justified her real self.......a thakur daughter who has the guts to come in the lime-light n save her mother n bro.....n not even slightly bothered about the kind of crime they committed....
n lastly pratigya......i was fearing that 4 her.....kesar stepped out of the case taking with her all the thakur sympayhies n pratigya is the one who will have to face the wrath of the devil i.e. amma........

Hi Mushi,


You are beginning to come very rarely ....Kya Baat hai ... ??

Thank You !!

When they started this track, I did think that they will show the an unrealistic escapist route ..but thankfully they showed what really happens in such abusive cases...for Kesar to fight ..she has to get angry ...Kesar here is battered , bruised but not Angry !! The day she gets angry..she will fight back ..until then ..she will be a door mat ..


Komal was true to her upbringing ..bold,rude,resourceful and conscienceless ...she was determined to get her Amma released by hook or crook ..and she got her released ..