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Before I go into my spiel I'd like to give a HUGE cheer for the CVs who've managed to give one momentous episode after the other this entire week, it just feels like a buildup over buildup. No delay of story, no delay of characterization, it looks as though they have full control of where they want to steer the story and the characters and to me that's just commendable. So hats off to everyone involved with this show, I am truly (as a viewer and fan) and completely over joyed!
Now onto the matter at hand. Today's episode.
Not sure if anyone caught the massive flinch of pain felt by Rudra the moment he opens the door to see Parvati on the floor. That was so so so brilliant. Because of course when Rudra opens the door to see a hurting and despair filled Paro he would flinch in pain. Foreshadowing at it's best. He flinches from his pain and her own, something I'm sure will be a reoccurring theme throughout the show. As much as he wants too he will not be able to stop hurting her, because looking at him makes it hard for her to breath. The sight of him, to her is the sight of death. Hard skin, black eyes, and black soul.
His touch is callous and his words are all background noise to the pain that is already consuming her. When Rudra tells her he wants her to look at him as he speaks, the command of respect he does not deserve, Paro all but spits in his face with her response. "Maar diya", she says firmly as her eyes meet his. KIllerkillerkiller. And he can't stand it, he can't stand the sight of his own reflection in her eyes when she looks at him like he's a murderer. So he pushes her back, refuses her and himself. There is a moment they share right when he lets her go, his eyes meeting hers in hard confusion and hers meeting his in fear and defiance. It's so palpable. You can feel his hard pressed anger like burnt cinder in the air, and you can feel Paro's pain, grief, anger, fear, turmoil as she meets him head on. And then as he walks away, determination in every step, Paro falls to her knees in rhythm, her tired body no longer able to hold the weight of her emotions.
How much does on lose over and over and over until they start beating their chest in order for their heart to stop. Parents, best friend, husband, remaining family. Paro has lost everything, every person who has supported her and loved her, gone in the blink of an eye. What has she done to deserve this? Absolutely nothing. Paro is an innocent in the crossfires of something much more grand than her, and it is unfortunate that she is the one losing everything when the people who deserve it are sitting on their thrones in comfort.
Paro will, after tomorrow's episode, have nothing (I'll probably touch on this on tomorrow's post even more). And who will guide her out of the town that has forsaken her? Who will leave with her? Who will take her away from the glass shattered steps she walks on?
Rudra. The destroyer. The killer. The murderer of her husband. The one man she will hold responsible for her losing everything will be the one who stands beside her when she does lose everything.
As if all the pain before that moment wasn't enough. In time of course she will realize that Rudra isn't the man she believes him to be, hell she might even see a glimpse of it tomorrow if he does what I believe he will do, and that is leave with her in tow.
"Ab kya chahiye mujhse?" a defeated but firm cry. What could he possibly want from her now when he's taken everything from her? This was Paro's way of saying she has nothing left to give because he's taken everything away, and it is such a poignant moment. When Rudra releases her you know he is still utterly convinced that she is guilty, that she knows more than she's letting on. He looks at her like an officer and not the man he becomes in her presence. It was so in character, for him to shut down and behave like a BSD and beautiful woman loathing man, and to deal with Paro as though she was not anyone different. As if looking at her didn't want to make him drown.
"Azad hai tu." But to her freedom feels like bondage without hope.
We see defiance yet again when Rudra opens the door for her to sit in the front and Paro quietly refuses. Survivor that she is, fighter that she is, it's an emotional war she's waging against Rudra. "I will not sit beside the killer of my husband" and so he sits behind him, not in shadow, but in a distance. Everything about him is suffocating to her, his words, his eyes, his demeanour. And then the last defiance, refusing to sign the papers. Refusing to stand for something she doesn't believe in. His desperation in trying to make her see reason, in trying to convince himself that she isn't an innocent woman stuck in a desolate world she doesn't understand, while she repeatedly calls him liar, was such a great scene.
But I'm quite sure it is the last scene that takes every bit of hope that was left in Paro and destroys it. Sets it on fire for her to never get anything but ashes. It is the complete abandonment of her family, her town, and her people that will throw her over the edge. And Rudra's face when Paro's massi sa refuses to recognize her, you can see his desperation setting in as well. His last bit of hope is gone too, and now all he has is her. And all she has is him.
I am eagerly awaiting tomorrow's episode, to see both Rudra and Paro's reactions to the town but most specifically to our vile villain, the Thakur.
Anupamaa
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
