Posted:
I've read a lot of drabbles in either a Asad or Zoya POV of the current RaDil situation and today's episode and these writers have inspired me to write something new. This takes place after Zoya finds out what happened in the gudiya factory, and how Rashid, Razia, and Gaffur were a part of it. I hope you enjoy it.
Part One: Now I Know How You Felt (Zoya's POV)
Mr. Khan,
From the first day we have met, our lives have been one crazy roller coaster ride, with all the ups and downs and what we have been through emotionally. We may have always fought about the smallest of matters but there was the one thing that we both completely shared: the pain of being abandoned by our fathers. I never knew the reason Rashid Uncle left Phoopi, Najma, and you. I can only imagine what he had put the three of you through. However I had seen one side of him that you had never seen. And that was the pain of being separated from his true love. Ever since I can remember, I have always believed in giving others a second chance and that is why I was with Phoopi that day. You did your best to stop her from goig back to that man, but Phoopi's mind was made up. God that day...that day I called you so many harsh words because I thought you were coming in between of two people who love each other, and I never knew all my words were going to come back and haunt me the same way.
Mr. Khan ever since I found out about my Abbu being alive, I had decided that even though he left me and my Ammi, I would give him a second chance. There had to be some logical explanation for why he left us; I thought he was remembering us everyday but I couldn't have been more wrong in my life. Instead of mourning my Ammi's death, he had been happy with his other family! He never tried to find out where I was or whether I was even alive or not. Ok that's fine I even forgave him for that. Maybe he was type to forget the past and live in the present. I get that. But after what I heard today, I finally understood why you acted the way you did when Rashid Uncle came to take Phoopi. The first person i thought of was you, and how I acted so insensitively. Suddenly I was filled with anger, guilt, sorrow, and feelings of being unwanted by anyone. I knew how you felt when Rashid Uncle came to take Phoopi with him; you weren't coming in the way of two lovers Mr. Khan, you were just protecting your Ammi from a man who has hurt her before.
All these years I thought there could be a slight chance that my Abbu loved me and my Ammi but I was dead wrong. That man doesn't love anyone except himself and his reputation. HE HELPED RAZIA BI KILL MY AMMI MR. KHAN! It took such a shock to realize why your behavior towards Rashid Uncle was so hostile. You had seen everything happen in front of your eyes, and hated him because deep down you knew even if Phoopi and Rashid Uncle came back together, it wouldn't be right. There were also Shireen Auntie, Ayaan, Nuzat, and Nikhat now. But I? I always had this hope. It was the only thing that kept me so positive and optimistic even during the darkest days. I have only believed that my Abbu would be waiting for me and I would finally have a complete family. Never did I stop and think of the alternative. And in your situation, I refused to even consider your side of the story because if Phoopi and Rashid Uncle were together, it would be how I've always wanted my own parents to be together.
I've always known that the two of us feel abandoned by our fathers and I pushed you to rekindled your relationship with your Abbu because I believed Allah had given you a chance to get your missing childhood back. I didn't have my father in my life because I didn't even know who he was, but I always thought you were lucky. Lucky because the only reason your father wasn't in your life anymore was because you pushed him away when he tried to make amends. I should have listened and understood your side of the story too instead of blindly following my own fantasy. I now understand what you did that day and I think whatever you did to push Rashid Uncle away from your family was absolutely right. If I had a family, I would have protected them from the monster who says he is my Abbu. But now there's only me and although it hurts, I have to keep out of his way since he clearly never wanted me.
I'm so sorry Mr. Khan. I can't even begin to tell you how guilty I feel. Now that I'm in your shoes can I understand your emotions and the circumstances you've been through. I know this is not enough but please forgive me. I have no courage to say all of this without breaking down. Our relationship was strained onwards from that day all because of me. I know how hard you have tried to get your Ammi back, to keep Mr. Rashid away from your family, and to fix our relationship at the same time, and I just hate myself for making things worse for you when you needed my support more than anything. Now when I think about everything I'm glad that my Ammi died. From what Appi has told me about her, I don't think she was as strong as Phoopi. She could have never survived all those years knowing what the man she had loved the most did to her.
I'm going back to New York Mr. Khan. But just for a while. I need to think everything over without seeing all these faces that I hate everywhere. I just need some time and space. I know how difficult it will be but right now, I think this is the right decision. I promise I will come back to you. Since our relationship is also strained, maybe it will give us both some time to think everything out. Whenever I'm back, I hope our love will still be as strong as ever. I just need to be by myself for a while. And while I'm gone please try to forgive me.
Always Yours,
Zoya
A/N How was it? This was my first time writing something like this so please do tell me if you liked it or not, and how I could improve. I don't really know what happened but I'm just really emotional today and decided to write something to get it all out. Anyways I'm sorry for every and any mistakes; I don't proofread my work and autocorrect is a pain. Like and comment away đ
Here's a similar OS:
Now I Know How You Felt: Ayaan's POV
Index: Part 2: Reliving the Past
Part 3; Final part!
Part One: Now I Know How You Felt (Zoya's POV)
Mr. Khan,
From the first day we have met, our lives have been one crazy roller coaster ride, with all the ups and downs and what we have been through emotionally. We may have always fought about the smallest of matters but there was the one thing that we both completely shared: the pain of being abandoned by our fathers. I never knew the reason Rashid Uncle left Phoopi, Najma, and you. I can only imagine what he had put the three of you through. However I had seen one side of him that you had never seen. And that was the pain of being separated from his true love. Ever since I can remember, I have always believed in giving others a second chance and that is why I was with Phoopi that day. You did your best to stop her from goig back to that man, but Phoopi's mind was made up. God that day...that day I called you so many harsh words because I thought you were coming in between of two people who love each other, and I never knew all my words were going to come back and haunt me the same way.
Mr. Khan ever since I found out about my Abbu being alive, I had decided that even though he left me and my Ammi, I would give him a second chance. There had to be some logical explanation for why he left us; I thought he was remembering us everyday but I couldn't have been more wrong in my life. Instead of mourning my Ammi's death, he had been happy with his other family! He never tried to find out where I was or whether I was even alive or not. Ok that's fine I even forgave him for that. Maybe he was type to forget the past and live in the present. I get that. But after what I heard today, I finally understood why you acted the way you did when Rashid Uncle came to take Phoopi. The first person i thought of was you, and how I acted so insensitively. Suddenly I was filled with anger, guilt, sorrow, and feelings of being unwanted by anyone. I knew how you felt when Rashid Uncle came to take Phoopi with him; you weren't coming in the way of two lovers Mr. Khan, you were just protecting your Ammi from a man who has hurt her before.
All these years I thought there could be a slight chance that my Abbu loved me and my Ammi but I was dead wrong. That man doesn't love anyone except himself and his reputation. HE HELPED RAZIA BI KILL MY AMMI MR. KHAN! It took such a shock to realize why your behavior towards Rashid Uncle was so hostile. You had seen everything happen in front of your eyes, and hated him because deep down you knew even if Phoopi and Rashid Uncle came back together, it wouldn't be right. There were also Shireen Auntie, Ayaan, Nuzat, and Nikhat now. But I? I always had this hope. It was the only thing that kept me so positive and optimistic even during the darkest days. I have only believed that my Abbu would be waiting for me and I would finally have a complete family. Never did I stop and think of the alternative. And in your situation, I refused to even consider your side of the story because if Phoopi and Rashid Uncle were together, it would be how I've always wanted my own parents to be together.
I've always known that the two of us feel abandoned by our fathers and I pushed you to rekindled your relationship with your Abbu because I believed Allah had given you a chance to get your missing childhood back. I didn't have my father in my life because I didn't even know who he was, but I always thought you were lucky. Lucky because the only reason your father wasn't in your life anymore was because you pushed him away when he tried to make amends. I should have listened and understood your side of the story too instead of blindly following my own fantasy. I now understand what you did that day and I think whatever you did to push Rashid Uncle away from your family was absolutely right. If I had a family, I would have protected them from the monster who says he is my Abbu. But now there's only me and although it hurts, I have to keep out of his way since he clearly never wanted me.
I'm so sorry Mr. Khan. I can't even begin to tell you how guilty I feel. Now that I'm in your shoes can I understand your emotions and the circumstances you've been through. I know this is not enough but please forgive me. I have no courage to say all of this without breaking down. Our relationship was strained onwards from that day all because of me. I know how hard you have tried to get your Ammi back, to keep Mr. Rashid away from your family, and to fix our relationship at the same time, and I just hate myself for making things worse for you when you needed my support more than anything. Now when I think about everything I'm glad that my Ammi died. From what Appi has told me about her, I don't think she was as strong as Phoopi. She could have never survived all those years knowing what the man she had loved the most did to her.
I'm going back to New York Mr. Khan. But just for a while. I need to think everything over without seeing all these faces that I hate everywhere. I just need some time and space. I know how difficult it will be but right now, I think this is the right decision. I promise I will come back to you. Since our relationship is also strained, maybe it will give us both some time to think everything out. Whenever I'm back, I hope our love will still be as strong as ever. I just need to be by myself for a while. And while I'm gone please try to forgive me.
Always Yours,
Zoya
A/N How was it? This was my first time writing something like this so please do tell me if you liked it or not, and how I could improve. I don't really know what happened but I'm just really emotional today and decided to write something to get it all out. Anyways I'm sorry for every and any mistakes; I don't proofread my work and autocorrect is a pain. Like and comment away đ
Here's a similar OS:
Now I Know How You Felt: Ayaan's POV
Index: Part 2: Reliving the Past
Part 3; Final part!
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